Hello...?

O.K. I'm still here. Sorry for the prolonged absence -- I'm in the middle of launching/testing a mini re-design at the new job so things are mucho crazy but, rest assured, I will be back with stories soon. Promise!

OH! I also played poker with my crew on Wed. night and KICKED ASS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you, thank you very much...! C'mon, did we really think I could actually win a round and not go on and on (and on) about it??!

I think I may start bleeding from the eyes

So, here at my new job it is my joy/curse to see a variety of wannabe products that would like pride of place on our hallowed shelves. Regardless of what your average layman (get it? Lay-man! Heh heh...) might suppose, the buyers here do actually take their jobs seriously and as such there is a need for a space here in the office which we like to call "the reject pile." Two minutes ago, my lovely assistant walked up to my desk and presented me with a product from that alleged pile which I would LOVE to share with you, my readership, but which, sadly is apparently a "demo" version and which I'm just not finding using one of the many fine search engine's out there. In my search for the "Mini Pierced Be-Atch!" however, I did run across these:

http://naughtynovelty.zoovy.com/product/LT113133

http://familyevolutions.com/shopping/?linkpage=indexf2.cfm?Cat=%3Cfont%20color%3DF4F4F7%3E2%3C%2Ffont%3EBaubles

Why, oh why??

Just real quick...

I.LOVE.MY.KID

VM message from my child left last night whilst I was sitting in my public policy class wondering what the hell the point was to doing anything EVER:

Boo: Hi Mommy! I just wanted to say -- gahhack! No, wait, GAHHACK??! That's not what I wanted to say! I was chewing [giggle - then suddenly serious] um... what I wanted tosay was that I miss you and i love you and I ah -ppreciate you coming to school this morning and giving me a kiss and... let's see... that I love you ... wait, I already said that. well I do. K. Well. I'm going to go. kisses, kisses, kisses, mwah!, mwah! mwah! [click]

!!!!! I KNOW!!!

I also love Prof. Ketelle. It's hard to say exactly why I love her -- a close personal friend of mine who knows NOTHING about how I actually am and who will be turning TWELVE in March yet still somehow thinks he's qualified to speak on such issues, posits the theory that I want to be her and, as is my want, I'm translating that into a desire to have her. He is nuts. Prof. K. is cute!

Further on that note, if anyone knows a woman named Karina Moreno who works for the Children's Defense Fund and who can get me a date with her I would be eternally grateful (and there might even be a little cash in it for you as well!!) She is beautiful and brillant and, yes, I do want to be her but I also very much want to DO her so do let me know...

Not dead...

Just seriously overworked. Sorry for the non-posting lately kids. I'm on a criminally insane deadline here at work (for which I have only myself to blame because I think I can do everything in the world that I want to do and because I - am - an - idiot!) and I have big ole poster projects due at school (in addition to fifteen tons of reading so you know I'm getting LOTS of sleep at night -- um... not really... that was kind of a joke) Anyaway, gotta go. Just didn't want anyone to worry about me or anything. :-]

but then there's this:

You Are Sam From "Benny & Joon." You are very talented at physical comedy. People are in awe of your abilities. However, you have many quirks which can either win people over or completely annoy them. But you're a sweetheart through and through, and it's hard not to love you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!



which I think is pretty accurate so...

Rendered stupid

I am 36 years old. I am secure in my adorableness, smart, happily single, primary breadwinner for me, my cats and most of my daughter. I have a great home, a fantastic job and a way with words that dumbfounds 73% of the voting population. Why then is it that upon meeting the shockingly charismatic man that my psychotic aquaintance (mom of kid in Miss Boo's class) is seeing for the second time I am rendered dumb.

Second question. Why is a man who is warm, intelligent, Italian, committed to his daughter and obviously enamoured with children of all stripes not too mention insanely attractive dating a crazy person? That's it really. My musing for the day. Why am I such an idiot loser that all I can think to say to the beautiful man smiling at me and warmly pressing my hand between the two of his is: "Nice to meet you... [then, realizing we've met before and engaged in an extended conversation] uh... AGAIN!" Dur...! What is wrong with me?

there.is.a.god. link

And the Award goes to....!

That's right folks, the awards season is upon us and in the spirit of this inanity I'd like to take a moment here and there to offer my own props to people who've maybe not accomplished a whole lot, possibly arent' the most well known, hell, who even I can't stand sometimes but who, in thier tiny, some might say mostly insignificant ways have made an impression on me lately. And so, without further ado, here they are!

The award for:

Best thing ever to shout out in a gym at your best friend who's calling you a wuss just because you thought a "push-up" was a tasty ice cream treat:

"Dammit Man, lay off! I can't help it if I fucked your girlfriend last week, but she was all over me from all those drugs you keep lying all over your place!!" -- courtesy of Mr. L-L God-Uncle Extraordinaire and former friend

Fine-est freaking Cat doctor I think I've ever met (and believe you me, I've been a cat owner for awhile now! note: see how graciously I avoided the "pussy" jokes? This is a classy awards show!)

Ms. Noel Grandrath, DVM at VCA Bay Area Animal Hospital we love you, Man! er...ah...woman! Kinda makes you wish you had hypochondriac cats(!!) anyway, moving on...

Best Seduction Line I've heard this week:

"Is DB here? No? Can I stay here tonight then?" [obviously, the offers for quality lovin' are not tumbling in right now....]

Best brush-off by a family member:

Little Brother: Hey, can I call you back?
Big Sis: Sure, when?
Little Brother: Um. Just... you know... whenever.

Best inadvertant yet still fairly crushing insult from really hot co-worker who's standing directly in front of your desk as you sit there trying to work:

"Damn. Not a single person who I want to talk to is at their desk!"

Kay. That's it for now. I'm sure as the day progresses more of this kind of silly crap will make itself known to me and if you're veeerrrrryyyy lucky, maybe, just maybe, I'll put it up here for you to share!

Pretty, Pretty, Pretty!

Today is a very, pretty, day.

Three pretty things I noticed within the first three minutes of me stepping out of my front door:

1) The plum tree in the front yard is covered with little white flowers

2) The light/air out there is freaking amazing -- I {heart} pre-storm light

3) There was an older Af. Am gentleman out walking a small, blond dog with the coolest russet colored velour fedora (note: here's a site I ran across looking for the appropriate hat link. V. Hilarious.)

Congratulations!

By now you all may have heard the SF is handing out marriage licenses at the drop of a "all-you-have-to-do-is-stand-in-line-for-a-million-hours-in-the-rain-and-do-some-paperwork" hat and I am super proud and delighted to announce that the fabulous, wonderful, and oh-so-deserving Misses Bs managed to obtain one of those "only handing out 400/day", "official/legal for now anyway" documents !! Yay! This will make the SECOND marriage between those two that I failed to be on hand for and I've just got to say I hope I'm around in forty years when you guys renew your vows, although, truth be told, I'll probably miss that too -- I'll send something nice from Guam, though!

In other news, this week-end was a little weird but fine in general. I had invited a classmate/friend of the Boo's over for a sleepover Friday night (so her mom could get busy with some guy she met whilst on vacation in Mexico -- I actually met him on Sat. He seemed like quite a nice person. Too bad he's getting involved with a FREAK! Anyway, more on that later maybe...) Thing is, Boo and this person have a very strange relationship in that while this child can't seem to stay away from the Boo, she spends the majority of her time being mean to her. Now, given that her mom is a head-case, I think it's fairly likely that she's just mean to everybody -- what was weird though was that the few times she wasn't being mean, when she was actually being nice, Boo was mean to her! I know!! My Boo! My sweetheart Angel-girl with nary a mean word to say to anybody was actively mean to this kid. Something to see, let me tell ya! So. I spent a whole bunch of time being "disappointed" with the two of them which is never fun and which led to some tears and overall unhappiness -- cute though, late Saturday after little Miss Demonchild had gone home, I went in to check up on my suddenly very quiet kid and it turns out she had put herself on timeout because, obviously I wasn't going to get around to doing it... (I was feeling bad about the whole situation since I was the one who invited her and I know for a fact that this kid is a terror...) because, seriously, a kid's got to have some freaking structure! I mean you can't tell a kid she's been disappointing all day and then not do anything about it! I swear, it is a damn good thing Boo's around to school me on this stuff... otherwise God only knows how she'd get raised! So... anyway. much of the week-end was spent with us being distant and moody which SUCKED but we're good now. I have her here with me until noon so at least I get a little quality Boo time to make up for the at-odds-ness (anybody else sensing what a complete wreck I'm going to be when she's twelve and doesn't talk to me for three days in a row.) Yesterday I spent reading and writing a "legal brief" for my public policy class ... I'm still trying to catch up with the onslaught of reading my Prof gave at the beginning of the semester -- why do professors assign you fifteen thousand pages of reading before anyone who isn't actually in publishing has had a chance to buy the damn books??? Anyway...

OH! Almost forgot, I've had several requests lately for new aliases -- Let's see, Ms. B.... There are not a lot of names I can think of for you that aren't going to get me in trouble but I was just reading "An Ideal Husband" by Mr. Oscar Wilde (I know, I know...THIS is why I don't get my reading on public policy done! O.K. moving on...) which nicely supports given the events of the past week-end but then, at the same time, I'm also realizing what a kick-ass administrator my cute little married friend actually is (and NO I am NOT just saying that because she happens to be my boss! {offended by the very suggestion} )So, in light of all of this, I'm thinking the new name for Ms. B is going to be Ideal Husband/Our Esteemed Leader or "IHOEL" which I like very much and which sounds vaguely Jewish or maybe Hawaiian.... Anyway, there you have it. Other Girl has also put in a request to change her monniker to "Other Woman" or "Other Lady" or something like that to which I must reply "Uh, yeah, talk to me ten years from now and I'll think about it." Denied! Alrighty, then. That's it for now, I believe. Hope your respective week-ends were FAB! talk attcha all later!

Hating the Game...

First let me say that this is NOT going to be yet another rant by yet another single person against the forced "lovey-wuvey-ness" of the upcoming V-D extravaganza. I think Valentine's Day can be very nice and special and if you have someone to go play/celebrate with more power to ya!

That said, what the Hell??! Have we all gone insane? I mean, I have no problem with the idea that it's a nice idea to celebrate the fact that you love someone -- I, myself, am ALL about the love -- but my god, I really think the rules/expectations/guilt/stress/MONEY aspect of the whole damn thing are really getting out of hand. Case in point:

Note to parents from my kid's school (not official note, just friendly reminder from "Concerned parent"): "This Valentine's Day please remember that if your child is going to bring a valentine for a friend, he/she should provide valentines for all the children in his/her class rather than singling out a select few. This will prevent any particular child's feelings being hurt and will contribute to the cohesiveness of the group."

Ummmm. My child plays with three kids in her class. She has "crushes" on two others. She has two best friends (neither of whom is in her current class). Sometimes she really likes one particular child and sometimes I force her to play with another little girl whom she quite honestly has no use for but she plays with her anyway because she loves me. From what I've seen my child is not all that different from every other kid in her class. If my little girl did not receive a Valentine from one of the 18 other children in her class with whom she is friendly but feels no special attachment, I'm thinking, really, honestly, that there would be no skin lost off her back -- that is unless she was informed that it was the norm for everyone to give everyone Valentines. THEN were she not to get one, then she might notice and/or feel a little bad about it. Look, people, all I'm saying is there will come a time when my Boo doesn't get a Valentine from every single person she knows. When this time comes, I, for one, would much rather she had learned that it's no big deal starting at age six; than learn instead to expect something that will probably cease to happen as she approaches older kid/grown-up-ness. Just my personal thoughts. I'd love to hear what other people think about this. Really I would.

Next, I heard this on the radio today:

Boy voice: Happy Valentine's Day Honey!
Girl voice: [sounding angry] All you got me is a card??!
Girl voice: [Having opened card and discovered gift certificate for something - now sounding happy] Oh, my goodness, a $75.00 gift certificate! Oh, honey, I love it! Thank you!

K. Is it just me or would anyone else snatch that damn card right out of that chick's whiny, ingrate, grasping little fingers and start packing the U-Haul. I mean seriously. Where the hell do people learn that not only should they expect something each and every Valentine's Day that is "significant" (e.g. expensive and/or different from the affection you get the rest of the year) and that they not only get to be disappointed if it doesn't happen but that they also get to be pissed off if they feel it's not enough of those things??! Hmmmmm. Could it possibly be something they learned IN THE FIRST GRADE!! I dunno. I'm really just asking...

So, tired right now...

Luckily, I have no appointments tonight and as such will be crawling into bed circa 8:30-9:00ish and drifting off into that sweet land of the delicate repose for a nice... long... uninterrupted... sleep-session. Maybe. We'll see.

Coupla of cool things: heard from the fabulous Tony yesterday and have made plans to meet up for some lunchy-lunch which is just GREAT since it's been sixteen years since i've seen him and his snazzy outfits so obviously it is about freaking time!

New Job check in: Still seems to be going well. I, for one, am particularly happy. I've got big (huge) plans for development which seem to be proceeding at a decent clip so that's all good. Noone here has started yelling at me yet (in fact, the level of overall nice-ness in this place is practically "Stepford" in it's sincerity and effusion ... is that a word? "Effusion?" If so, is it a dirty word??) Anyway, I'm happy and content and still feeling slighty overwhelmed but at least at this point its my own damn fault -- meaning that all this stuff I have to do is stuff I dreamed up so I can't really blame anybody but myself. I may try to though. Stay tuned...

Speaking of which, my VCR is inexplicable to me. As we may remember, Traveling Man was so good as to show me how to set the damn thing, which I did and which has yet to actually start recording at any of the times I programmed it to record. I have no idea what's its deal is but if anyone out there is currently compiling copies of Gilmore Girls and/or One Tree Hill and wouldn't mind sharing them with me I'd much appreciate it. You don't know what it's like to sit in your public policy class alternnately wondering if 1) the reason for the current decline in California schooling can be directly traced to the passage of Prop 13 and 2) Whether or not Rory is ever going to hook up with "naked Guy" at Yale! It's nerve racking I tell you!!

Anyway. I'm going to go find food now. more later, if I get inspired but probably not.

It's all about the hair

Well, hello kids! How the heck are we this fine afternoon? Me? Why I'm great actually thanks for asking! So, weekend was very fun. Squired the famous Miss Tail and her new haircut around Friday eve (karaoke, drinking -- probably best that I've forgotten most of it!) met up with the ever-lovely Missy Sue and Mistah Lovah-Lovah as well and proceeded to have an FAB-ulous time. Mr. L-L did eventually desert me but no worries! Three seconds before he wussed out of my life a very nice young lady who went by the monniker of Ming and who was "visiting with a friend" took up residence near my chair so I was able to replace him pretty much immediately in terms of having someone tall, and fascinating to chat with as the night drew to a close. Plus, her hair was much better! At any rate. Mr. L-L made it up the next day by bringing me and my kid junk food right before her class started (only to then proceed to lecture me on proper nutrition vis a vis offspring -- this while he's shoving a Big mac down his throat...! I know!! Damn good thing I {heart} him otherwise I know a certain curb with his name on it!!)

Sat., following the Boo class we absconded with a friend of hers and finished out the eve with the ever fun playdate/sleepover! You all wish you were me and my life right now, don't think I can't feel it!

Sunday I managed to persuade Pretty Boy to go driving about (not difficult given the weather, his shiny still-newish car and the super-low rockstar jeans i just got last week!). I don't want to make anyone too jealous (too late!) so let's really just say Presidios were circumvented, Golden Gate bridges were viewed and much (emphasis on much) fun was had by all -- well at least by the two of us. I'm pretty sure the middle-age golfer guys may have had a moment or two where the fact that they were miles away from being as good-looking/fabulous/kicking-it-in-a-mini as the two of us came crashing into their conciousness like an errant golfball through the clubhouse window but whatever. It is not my job to make sure EVERYONE feel attractive/desirable/necessary! Sheesh! Then, after the frivolities were mostly over, I ran into an old friend of mine who is now waitressing at this place we always go to eat. She holds claim to being one of the single most beautiful girls I have ever met in my life and I haven't seen her in awhile. We exchanged info though so maybe I will attempt to restart what little friendship there actually was at the time and see if it can be expanded upon. Probably not though. I'm pretty satiated right now, plus I have TONS of reading to do for class! Anyways... week-end was great as always. I'm starting to feel things slip into a kind of a pattern and I'm realizing (well, at least admitting) that everything is at a great point of "set-ness" and that all I really need to do right now is maintain... which... I think... barring any unforseen drama i may be able to do. {fingers crossed} maybe...

Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts

WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."

Ha! Sorry, back to work now...

Man Finds Self Back At Porn Store Again

"JASPER, WY—Gregory Steevers, 37, found himself standing in the aisles of the Pleasure Island adult bookstore again Monday. "I was out on a walk after I dropped off the electric bill," Steevers said. "I stopped and had a sandwich, then, before I knew it, I was perusing the shelf of anal videos at the Island. Weird." Steevers said he's "ended up" at Pleasure Island about twice a week for the past four years."

O.K. so The Onion is always funny but this week it is seriously killing me...

My Hero!

So, last night, we were treated to a FABulous B-day celebratory dinner by the wonderful and currently, indispensible Travelin' Man. Din was GREAT. We went to Emmy's Spaghetti Shack and, seriously, with the word "shack" in the title you KNOW it's allll gooood...! THEN, as if the lovely food/company weren't simply enough, Mr. Man proceeded to figure out how to set my VCR to record every Tuesday night so that I am now free to go to my public policy class without having to think "Crap! I'm going to miss my favorite show in the world AGAIN!!" For this we are grateful. Thank you TM! You are stellar and more than half of the "cream in my coffee"!

In other news, I'm expecting a wee one here any minute. My Boo is sick and the CP will be dropping her by so that she can be small and sniffley here with me until I get some stuff done, then I will take her home and snuggle her up and give her lots of toasty good lovin' so that she feels better tomorrow and ready to face the ratrace that is first grade!! In fact, I think they're here so I'm out...

msut be all the sugar!

First, let me state, for the record, that my Best Buddy Q is always right. At least when it comes to telling me what to do about MY life that is. I mean, she may be a bit MEAN about it sometimes (borderline abusive, really) but in general I find that the more I listen to her the more likely it is that i get what I want... hmmmm.... There's a connection there that I really MUST explore further someday. Anyways. Had some awfully (in my opinion) productive/edifying meetings today so while I didn't actually get some stuff worked on that really needs to be worked, i did get some stuff figured out in terms of "the big picture" which can't be all bad.

Had a very funny check-in last night as well from the awfully cute Dirty Boy (who is claiming to hate me due to some minor prank I may or may not have pulled whilst I was spending time with his family of origin in New Mexico) -- seems he got a call from his Mom which went something like this:

DB: Hello?
DBM: Hello, Sweetheart
DB: Oh, hey mom. What's up.
DBM: Oh nothing. I'm just wondering how YOU are???? (pregnant pause which may or may not have something to do with the fact that I might have told them he was engaged to a skinny, blonde, law student...)

Hee Hee! I love having friends to mess with!

Speaking of which, in about 17 minutes, I will be leaving the premises to go have a celebratory din-din with the ever-fabulous Travelin' Man (I think we're still celebrating my birthday but seriously, at this point, so long as the food is free and the company is fun, I'll celebrate just about anything!)

This morning I am at a loss...

Several key things are happening right now that perhaps you, my reading audience, can assist with.

1) There's this guy... Ha, just kidding. Well, not really because there is this guy... O.K. thing is there's this boy and he's my friend and we like each other and stuff but the last coupla times I tried to force him to hang out with me he was awfully sweet and everything but he also had "other plans". So, here I am with a sudden window as it were about to open in my (I think already quite well established extremely packed) schedule and I want to find him but I also REALLY don't know if I can handle the (again really very nice) rejection. I mean, i could use my evening in some other productive manner e.g. getting some sleep or going out with some other friends or whatever... thing is... I kinda... well. The thing is, I want to get l.a.i.d! That's right people, the Chickster wants to get touched in a way that is considered by most to be inappropriate workplace behavior.... {sigh} Oh, well. P'raps I will just not do anything and see what happens. Actually, now that i REALLY think about it, a decent night's sleep does seem pretty sexy ...

2) I just had M&Ms for breakfast. Not sure if that's good or bad; just thought I'd put it out there.

3) I have been offered a ticket to the Melissa Etheridge concert at the Filmore on Monday night (thank you OT and thank your Pops for the hook-up) but, were i to accept it would, in effect, mean that I was going to the concert with my child-friend's Dad which just seems REALLY wierd to me! especially since the child in question is always hitting on me! (DB could you try to control/satisfy your woman??!)... anyways, as with everything else in my life, I will definitely think about it but..... [Those of you who are paying attention may note that upon a similar occassion I accepted a ticket to watch Mr. Lyle Lovett playing at the Paramount from this self-same musically aware duo without even the SLIGHTEST hesitation and I would JUST like to say, in my defense, I didn't know where that ticket came from and even if I had -- c'mon! it's Lyle fer Chrissakes!!]

Anyway, my fingers are frozen and I think my files are through downloading so I'll be off for now... ta!

Three things...

Real quick, three things I've been thinking about lately (o.k. on my drive into work this morning -- I am nothing if not topical!)

1) I had one of THOSE dreams last night about an ex-co-worker Boy-friend of mine last night (I actually have had many dreams that I've been remembering lately. I kinda think it's because I've been being woken up smack in the middle of them the last few days so they're being seared into my conscious mind... anyway...) and the funny thing is that he's not (by a long shot) the one one would THINK that I'd have that sort of dream about if ya knawhattamean. I mean, no disrespect or anything, he's absolutely stellar/attractive/gainfully employed etc. Just not really my typical type. Dream was nice though. We both seemed to be having a pretty good time so it's all good.

2) I love my kid's teacher. There are a bunch of reasons why this is the case but the most recent happens to be that she cares not even a little bit about dumb stuff like TARDINESS in the first freakin' grade. I mean maybe she WOULD if we were always late or something but for the occassional "got stuck on the bridge" nonsense she's pretty cool. I know this because we were late this morning and we had to go to the office and get a tardy slip/"tut-tut, I am just amazed that SOME parents have such a hard time getting their children to school on time!" speech from the school secretary who is in charge of filling out those slips of paper -- said entirely for my benefit, I'm sure -- so we got our slip and slunk into Miss Boo Teacher's class and were greeted with "Hello! Got caught in the rain? You can put that right there, Hon." Paired with a cheery smile/finger indicating we should put that tardy slip directly into the garbage bin so she wouldn't have to do it... Miss Boo Teacher=cool.

3) Reverse psychology doesn't work on my kid. Boo gets to sleep in my bed with me on Thursdays. She would very much like to sleep with me more often but for some reason (which I'm not even super clear about) she's not allowed to. There's some rule that I'm vaguely certain the CP and I set up along time ago that I'm sure could use some re-visiting but I haven't got the energy to really do the research on it -- not unlike the sodomy laws in some states. Anyway, the other night, or rather morning (4am) kid has a bad dream and instead of calling out to her "Well, try to go back to sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning." followed by an hour of sniffling, half-sleep and calling out for assurance that those monsters had not only been been escorted OFF the premises they'd actually, in fact been shot and had their bloody carcasses put up on display in an area where the Boo could see them easily from her top bunk -- I elected instead to just go get in bed with her so we could both just freaking get some sleep. So, when she wakes up in the morning and discovers me there she inquires whether or not I had a good sleep. I reply "yes!" and go on and on about how much I like her bed. Then for added measure I say "I want to sleep with you ALL the time [this being where the reverse psychology comes in because that's what she says to me and this way, theorhetically, she gets a chance to tell me "no" which is empowering to her while at the same time supports my position in the matter] and she says "O.K.! If you really want to you can." {sigh} Who decided I should be allowed to parent??!

I lied.

http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/letssee.html

Ha!

http://www.lorebrandcomics.com/penisenlargement.html

O.K. I'll stop...

This
is Tina the Troubled Teen. Apparently, if you check back in a day or two her commentary will have changed to reflect a different yet still quite surly outlook. We shall see...

This just in...

Here's what my horoscope has to say about January:

Just remember: everyone wants to sleep with an Aquarian this month, so be discerning.

And here's me JUST getting around to reading it today... Doh!

WTF??

O.K. I know it's random but spam that involves the words "harelip brunette"...?? I mean, honestly!

Ha!

I'm baaaaacccccckkkkk! (I know, I already used that earlier but I'm 36 now and when a woman has reached "a certain age" she is suddenly allowed all manner of license!) So, then I am back. i had a Fabulous time in New Mex! Saw your sister, Dirty Boy. I told her you were "awfully serious" about a pre-med student out here named Julie -- that you'd given her a ring and everything but she wanted to finish school first... You should probably be expecting a phone call from them...

i love my brothers so much it hurts sometimes to even continue looking at them -- yes, that's right, the Magnet family IS.THAT.COOL. -- and I am feeling refreshed and relaxed and relatively on top of my game. Thanks for asking. Work seems to be going well (I, of course, say "seems" because I think I'm doing swell but I'm equally sure everyone else there is 1) wondering whether or not that "at-will" part of the hiring agreement is actually going to stand up in court and 2) exactly when it is that I intend to start doing all that stuff I said i knew how to do in the interviews...! No worries, though. i am reasonably certain that by the time they figure out that i am a fraud they will have goten so very attached to me that they simply cannot bear the thought of parting ways (not unlike an annoying puppy who shreds the furniture and takes liberties with your shoes but whom you simply cannot bear to give away!)

I am, in fact feeling so very vivacious that I find myself facing the age ole question -- what on earth do I do with the attention! not that there is that much. in fact there's really just the one. Attentive person that is. Young (and I DO mean young) lady who works at the cafe here on campus -- OH! Speaking of which, I'm a BONEHEAD and i forgot to "check-in" for my spring semester so i'm here on campus merrily trying to add/drop classes and the registrar tells me I've been "withdrawn" from school! Took me ten minutes of groveling and 200.00 bucks just to get him to do the amount of typing (about thirteen seconds worth) it takes to "reinstate" a student...Sheesh. Sometimes i amaze even myself. Anyway... -- Cutie cafe girl is being all flirtatious and whatnot and I am being flirty back and my brain is actually saying "hmmmmmm. I wonder if this is a likely candidate for S-E-X???" {sigh} i really don't know what's wrong with me. maybe it's the spring in the air-- wait...

---

I just got through reading American Gods by Neil Gaimon and while I found it interesting, i have to say I probably wouldn't read it again. i felt not unlike I feel reading Armisted Maupin's more recent novels -- Interesting, somewhat compelling but in the end probably could have been said with alot fewer words. Good thing i finished it though. i just went to the bookstore and bought $81.18 worth of new books that I'm supposed to be reading.... Although, I think I may try to slip in the book that Travelin Man loaned me and which name escapes me... Ah, well... I'm sure those of you who really need to know will find a way to plumb my subconscious...

---

Quick super huge Thank You!! to the Tall One who lives in front of me for so fabulously stepping up to care for the wild kitties who make my front yard their home (and who i feed myself when I'm not out galavanting about the continent!)

Also a shout out to Family Guy for sharing the deets re: his flock o' cuties! i sure do miss having on-site persons with which to swap "and the OTHER thing she did that was sooooo cute was--" stories.

Speaking of which! You know what THE CUTEST thing ever is?? The cutest thing ever is when a couple of kids who are 5/6 get together and stare at each other so intently that their foreheads touch! I've seen this in action twoice now and I CANNOT even stand how adorable (in an extremely serious way, of course) it is!!!!!

---

You know, I'm thinking that maybe, just possibly, the way you know you're really, seriously old is when even as you're trying to tell yourself that you COULD just flirt with a girl, possibly get to know each other a little, maybe hang out, maybe kiss - but that if you're SUPER clear about everything then if it should turn out that this girl wants more from you than you can give, you can just explaing the situation, reference the past conversations and while she might be sad she'd at least understand and go away... even as you're thinking that, the OTHER part of your brain -- the part that knows you're full of sh**, is already working out where else on campus you can go to get a decent sandwich and some fries.

In New Mexico

FYI...

I am currently in New Mexico visiting my BEAUTIFUL family...! I am having a wonderful time. I got an amazing turquoise ring for my birthday (not to mention a day of skiing for me and my kid all expenses/lessons paid -- those of you who are VERY lucky may qualify to see the Boo skiing photos....) Anyways, I'm not officially back until Tuesday so these postings might be scare until then. Suffice to say, I LOVE my family!! They rock in sooooo many ways it is hard to even being to translate. I am blessed and lucky and fortunate. And that's all for now ... Salim, out....

School!

Who Hoo!! First day of school for me (for this semester) starts TONIGHT! yay! I have soooooooo missed communing with the peeps who think about deep educational stuff n' sheet... Not that my regular hommies DON'T or anything {kisses! I lurv you all} -- it's just... well... i have certain needs that just don't get met in my everyday life - intellectually, I mean..... eh, hem... anyways...

Just had lunchie-poo with the fabulous SAH, El Torrito and Tall Guy ... They, as a crew, are super delightful and it is always great to hear the things with your previous company are continuing to go to hell in a handbasket... I think though, that I might have had a slightly more cheery time if for our next get-together we restrict the gathering the tiniest bit more ... K. I'm really just stalling while the IT guys figure out how to get me write access to some server-age which I think they may have just done, so... looks like I'm out!

They're baaaccckkkk!

For those of you keeping track, you may have noticed a marked LACK as it were in the mentioning of a certain under-thirty crew and while most of you (like myself) may have cared not even a little bit about the sudden disappearance of one Dirty Boy, Other Girl, Angel and Texas Guy I'm sure their respective mothers did actually give half a damn and will now be relieved to hear that they have returned from the rain-soaked halls of our sister state, Portland, Oregon! Give it up folks! That's right, the prodigal crew has returned -- slightly older, not particularly wiser, but in some respects cuter (Texas Guy's new haircut = tres chic!!) Welcome back, kids! I can't say I missed you but I sure as hell could use a little diversion! Ha! Just kidding. We wuv our wandering rainbow children {big squeeze!!} I would like to take a moment to point out that apparently, for no reason other than my new job position i am now, in their beyond all reason jaded llittle eyes "cool" ... this is only slightly disconcerting because it makes me really wonder what exactly it was that I was before. Ah, well. no worries. If I left it up to the puppies to define me I'd be nothing more than a leathery old Mrs. Robinson stand-in who rents out rooms on the side... Glad you're back, Children! Stick around awhile, the weather's great!

In other news, birthday bash was fabulous! So very many wonderful children types running around. it just warms the cockles to know that the Alternative set seems bent on catching up with their more "conservative" brethern in terms of sheer output! Go, us!

Let's see... what else...? Missing the boyz right now:

Tony - There are some truly fab people here but as of yet none has undertaken make it thier mission to brighten my mornings with the daily drop-in (NEVER let it be said that a stop-off by an attractive and well dressed young man isn't JUST the thing to get your morning going in the right direction!)

Family Guy - I, am Dying to know what the world's Cutest Family is up to!!

Sir James - What can I say, your "serious" look kills me! I need some earnest-ness in my life. Everything here is just too damn flippant...!

Mistah Lovah-Lovah - I actually DON'T miss you at all but hell, I'm making a list, right??? Kidding! Are we still going out on the 30ieth??

Kyle - I also don't miss because I've found another cute, approximately my age, serious gay man to bond with; sorry! (Again with the kidding -- sheesh! you people cannot take a joke!)

and Drew - You are the standard by which I shall forever measure all men (and some women!) I want to steal you away and keep you here under my desk (not like THAT you perverts!!) but you'd probably get bored.... {sigh}

Anyways... I miss you all. Write and let me know how the New Me's doing... You had better not be hanging around her desk, you fickle bastards!!

Oh, and a HUGE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the L-Bean and her beanie-babe siblings!!!!!!!!! You all are quite possibly the best 3 & 1 year old persons I know and I'm delighted to be periodically invited to hang with you and your fabulous little posse (even though I know it's only because of my close association with a certain Boo -- I'm good with that! Quite frankly, I'll take what I can get...) Happy Born Day Mama Bee and Mom B for first squeezing em out then sticking around to raise em up right! You two have collectively restored my faith in the American nuclear family unit (-ish)and I will always cherish you for that! {sniff -- wipe eye}

Yay Me!

First day flying solo and the FIRST thing I do is release the html version of the newsletter (to 12,000+ people) before everything is in place that supports it! Nice! Go, me, go me... {sigh} Chick Magnet & Co. - Discovering fabulous new ways to SUCK! Anyway. Assistant is VERY nice and politely inquires as to whether or not I sent out the newsletter -- i respond "No, I don't think so." She (still polite as she frantically checks our listserv) replies "Uh, I think you did." Now, here, boys and girls is where she starts seriously questioning her continuing tenure here in Newly-Inept-Land! Huzzah! K. Sorry. It's just that I've been working all day to piece together all the random threads of my training and attempt to fix this and just when I got everything sort of figured out/fixed the Webserver went down (probably something I did) bringing down not only our sites but essentially closing the retail stores as well. (I've been assured by the IT department here that it was in fact not in any way my fault but I'm sure they're just being nice.) I repeat {sigh}............

This is special just for Sir James! Two flavors AND I can get you a discount!

Just a quick check in

To let you all know that I wasn't in any way molested last night. I chose a different (more well-lighted) path home and arrived safe and sound and slightly frisky, truth be told... K. I'm out -- this is the day the lady who's training me is leaving and I've already forgotten every single thing she told me so 1) I'm ska-rewed and 2) I want to try out some stuff before she sails off into that sunset we all like to call "abandonment"!

My Character from the Samurai Code...

Complete sincerity: You believe in being straightforward with others, and you expect the same from them. People would consider you a good listener, and one who is calm and mostly serious.

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best?

brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks Mistah L-L...

Last night...

Two things happened.
1) I saw a Vampire
2) I got mugged

First, since I don't want anybody getting all freaked out or anything... I did have my money taken from me but 1) the mugger was incredibly polite/willing to negotiate and 2) I wasn't, in any way, hurt -- I mean, I'm a little freaked out about it (and I think I know who it was but in general there are a thousand ways it could have been much worse so there you go...)

Now then, this Vampire I saw: I know she was a Vampire because although she was not in any way "sterotypical" she was INSANELY attractive. I mean, I saw her standing waaaayyyyy at the end of the BART platform and was so completely captivated by her that I had to go hover for the rest of our trip. She had translucent skin, garnet colored lips and long wavy dark hair. She was dressed in as cool a way as a retro-type with modern influences gal could possibly be dressed with a blood red handbag and shoes. She had shades on at first but she took them off on the train ended up having these CLEAR golden eyes -- I'm telling you! She didn't smile or anything but after she figured out I was staring at her, she kind of did this half-grin/half-snarl thing revealing part of a set of remarkably white (remarkably pointed) teeth.... She also had these beautiful long, pearlescent fingernails.... Seriously, it was weird. It was weirder because I seemed to be the only one who even noticed her. People were moving all around her without looking at her at all. Very odd, i tell you. Very odd indeed. Anyway....

Then, on the walk home, it was dark and I had my hood up and pretty close to where I turn off Tele to get to my house I noticed a long shadow moving up pretty quickly behind me (this was after I had just passed two individuals obviously engaged in a drug deal a little ways up the street) -- so this individual comes up and puts his hand over my mouth and says "I just want the purse, gimme the purse." I said "Can i just give you the money and keep the purse?"-- (I had to repeat myself a coupla times cause he kept saying "Don't talk, don't talk, just gimme the purse" but finally he said "Yeah. Gimme the money." so I opened my wallet and found... no money at all. Nice. I showed it to him and said I didn't have any money and he said "Why not?" (which truth be told, was a damn good question) and I said "I don't know." Then we both sort of stood there (and this was weird because I was thinking "Hmmm, why don't I have any money and what can I do to get out of this if I don't have anything to give him?" and he still kind of had his arm around me but in a very relaxed way -- I mean, neither of us was tense or anything) until I remembered that I did have some money in my organizer so I said "wait! i do have money!" (in a kind of bizzarrely triumphant way -- also weird in retrospect) and I found it and gave it to him. While I was looking, he took the opportunity to explain to me that he was "an addict" and he had to do this to "feed his habit." I assured him that I understood (and then, for some reason, I started to get tense, so then he got tense and I had to remind myself to relax again). I gave him the money and he said "O.K. don't turn around." and I said "o.k. i'm not turning around" and that was it. He left. i continued on my way.

Now, analysis-wise, I didn't really feel scared (and still don't) although I did feel really agitated for a few hours afterwards and I definitely have resolved to not ride BART home with Miss Boo anymore in the Winter since it's dark by the time we get to our hood-- although part of me (and maybe I'm being naive) thinks that had i had the kid with me Mr. Drugged-Out-Criminal Man wouldn't have picked me to rob; I dunno, I just think he'd have picked an easier target than some lady with a kid since a mom might really freak out if she thinks her kid's in danger or her kid might act unpredictably or whatever... but still no train for Me and the Boo at least until Daylight Savings time begins again.... and I was pretty suspicious-acting around the guy-who-I-think-it-was (just some random druggy middle aged guy who recently started hanging around our neighborhood looking sketchy) but all in all, in the grand scheme of things it was a fairly polite robbery and I got to keep all my credit cards, addresses and photos of my kid so I'm all good. I think. Maybe it'll sink in tonight when I'm walking home (or maybe I'll get robbed again!) and I'll wig a bit more but right now.... I think things are still fairly rosy in the Chickster world.

I'll make this quick

As I am sharing computer space for now with the fabulous lady who's training me I'm technically not supposed to be doing anything other than checking my e-mail BUT I have just got to give a big ole shout out and Thank you to Mistah Lovah Lovah for hosting such a fantabulous poker extravaganza last night! I very much enjoyed losing all my money and I further enjoyed seeing some of the boyz from whom I've so recently separated... {sniff} I miss you guys!!

Lest there be untold lamentations in the streets...

Seriouslyinvolved .blogspot.com is on temporary hiatus due to technical considerations beyond my control (namely that I used to write at work and what with me essentially waiting -- not unlike a vulture -- for the current WebChick at goodvibes to relinquish her title/position/CPU I'm not really technically connected, if you get my drift, to any internet access type tool, PLUS I used to connect at home using my work dial-up which as been cut off so, I'm pretty much stranded in non-web land. no worries, though, i'll figure something out -- if not immediately, then by friday (webChick's last day is thursdee...) latest and the world will once again be able to know the glory that is me at my whinyest! In the meanwhile, maybe it's best if we all just take a moment to see other people and if we still feel like we need each other in our lives at the end of the week, then when we come back together it'll be that much more beautiful!

Home stretch, Baby!

So, here we are. Last day after 2 years at SNIFF/5 years at The Firm. The Firm peepstook me out for drinkslas night and it was all jsu kind o sad. Todd said he was going but then begged off at the last minute. Probably listened to all my parting comments via a tiny hold drilled in the wall separatinghis office from the conf. room we were in and got all hurt or something "What the...??! I gave that girl the best years of her life! At least she had a JOB! Especially in THIS economy..." anyway, he popped out to say he wasn't up for drinks but we should definitely get together for lunch -- which, interestingly enough, given our particular history i think might actually be fun. Once someone ceases to have absolute power over the source by which you pay rent they sort of move from annoying to just kind of silly-sad... anyway, maybe I'm just hoping for stories of all the hardships ole Todd has had to endure (and hopefully is still enduring!) that he didn't feel comfortable sharing with an employee.... Hmmmmmmm.

The boys and I got together for group pic yesterday and it really hit home how very much these fellows entertain me and how enriching they've been to my existence here at SNIFF. I'm really hoping I can figure out how to channel SAH and his propensity for keeping in touch with ex-co-workers cause, seriously, I would be just a touch sad if through my own bizarre busy-ness, I lost track of any of my peeps here. Ah well, c'est la vie and all that. We shall see what we shall see...

In other news BBQ is off the the wilds of Guerneville to frolic in the sun with her Sweetie. I would like to state for the record that I am NOT at all jealous and that I wish her all the fun/best on her trip. There. See. Not jealous at all.

I WANT TO GO TO GUERNVILLE!!!!!! WWWAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I'm here...

Sorry, too tired to finish the rest of that..... I was up late (for me anyway) last night watching my new favorite show and my old favorite show and then when I tried to get some sleep I was all agitated (I'm "spinning" right now -- anyone who is even remotely familiar with the "do-it-yerself" babymaking scene knows what THAT means) and needing to be touched and ... well... just blah... Anyways, quick update re: Bendy Girl -- It has henceforth been resolved that we are "just friends"; friends who see each other very occassionally and chat on the phone when/if the mood stirkes us but that's all! I'm kind of relived actually. I mean it was nice to know that I am now capable of hanging out with a female in a "dating" capacity without my brain melting but still, it's all just soooo exhausting you know... Still and all, best thing for it, I think. Speaking of girls though, got a super great hug from the beautiful Security Guard downstairs after I told her I was moving on..... Hmmmmm, kinda makes ya want to quit stuff more often! K. I'm outtie. At meetings/"tying things up" all day today so if you don't hear from me til tomorrow at least you know why! :-]

Warning!

This entry may not be appropriate for the queasy of heart or for anyone who really just does not need to know "certain things" about their good friend Chick. If it's just too early in the morning for shocking revelations which may potentially put you off the Chick-ster for months if not years to come, skip to the second half of this post as it is about heartfelt conversations with little ones and NOT about body parts.

Eh, hem, now then. Quick confession: I, Chick Magnet, am in love with a body part. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm pretty attached to the owner of the part as well, I mean if you were to walk up to me and say, "Chick, we're going to take this person away to another planet and you'll never get to see them again EVER!" I'd be pretty sad about it, but I've got to tell you here and now that if you told me they could stay but that this particular Part had to go, well.... I'd probably be as distraught if you catch my drift. Seriously, I cannot stop thinking about it (and the various things I want to do to it -- not all predictable things either, mind you, I'm not just interested in it for it's ... "it-ness"-- I want to get to know it better, sit down after a long day and have a little conversation with it, maybe a glass of wine, find out how it's day went...) anyway, I've lost my mind and am obviously sore afflicted. Still and all though, having spent the better part of the night thinking about it, I guess it's better to be in love with a peice of someone you like than in love with bits that are attached to someone that discusts! k. sorry. moving on...

---

So, yesterday the kid calls me to let me know what she's learned for me (We have this thing where since she's at school learning stuff and I'm at work NOT then she has to learn something for me everyday so I'll be able to stay on top of current events as well as continue to converse in an intelligent manner about the issues which shape her young world) so, she's telling me that today we learned about "velocity" (?? I ask you?! I didn't even hear that term until I saw it used prominently in an ad campaign late last year...) and we're chatting and from basically out of nowhere she says "Mom? Is it hard being a mom?"

And I didn't know what to say. I mean I actually said "Sometimes. But lots of things that are really amazing are hard." Which seemed to adequately address that particular query because then we started talking about the storm that was suposed to hit on Tuesdsay (today) but it made me think. I mean, if I really think about it, I don't think being a mom to Boo is all that hard. I do think it's hard trying to stop every annoying person in the world from trying to mess with my kid's outlook on life; i think it's hard that I've tended to have to justify my particular flavor of mom-ness to complete strangers from a whole subset of various angles; I think it's hard to love someone sooooo very much while at the same time being made constantly aware that that's not going to be enough to stop all the bad/annoying/oogey things from happening but really, none of that has to do with Boo as a person. Parenting her is not hard. Life is. Boo makes it easy to see why it's a good thing that I'm here and there's just not alot in the world that does that... Anyway. Just something I was thinking about last night. When I wasn't thinking about "the Part"

Howdy!

Well, hello there folks. I have not written today onna counta I am tired and SWAMPED alla pona sudden here at work (I was just introduced to the New Me who I will be spending my remaining time here at SNIFF training to do a job I've held for all of 3 months... anyway, she's cute. Kind of "fresh out of Business school" but cool enough seeming. What is it about finding out that you've been replaced with someone who is essentially your opposite in every way, shape and form that is so very unnerving?? Ah well. It would be folly to expect anyone to come up with a one-to-one exact copy of anyone so complex as the Chick so I'm just going to attempt not thinking about it and see where that gets me!) Week-end was FAB-ulous. Pretty Boy pretty much rocks my world which is neat and cool (and just a little anxiety-producing but whatever...) Got to hang with the child a LOT which was also neat. We went out into the Rainstorm from Hell the other day and felt quite small and tossed about for about half an hour. Then I dropped her with the CP and me and Miss Tail hooked up for some quality hang-age with her most fabulous pup Isabel -- we heart her (MT - not Izz - although we do love the Izz an awful lot!) because she is going to teach me how to cook this year (It's my only actual resolution so it just may happen) ... We've agreed that I will learn to cook one dish a month; that that dish will not involve anything "seasonal"; that it will contain no less than 60% ingredients that have a shelf-life of forever and that it can be fully prepared in under 20 minutes! In return I'm going to "help her adjust her life attitude." Just between you and me, I think i have the easier part of the bargain!

O.K. I'm really just checking in with ya'all before heading on out so, more tomorrow maybe, if I can get away from my Shadow...

Oh, but wait, my Lovah-Lovah is back from Mad-Cow Land (Canada) which is great as he was very much missed! He's all excited about my new job because he thinks that this somehow means he has greater access to cute nekkid chicks. I'm trying to 'splain to him that "No, *I* am the only one who gets access to cute nekkid chicks!" but he's just not hearing it right now... Ah, well... somethings you've just got to learn the hard way...

Brillant!

The girl I like sent me a CD with two performance pieces on it that she did (cello-brillant!) and that she's sending off into the world in hopes of winning much acclaim (which, had I even the slightest bit of anything to do with it, she most certainly would -- in spades!) ... She sent it awhile ago but I've not been able to actually remember to listen to it at a point in time when it was in the same city as my ears so I've just (this morning) popped it in and my gawd, it is just so very beautifully done! Apparently what I'm listening to are "the first two movements of the Shostakovich cello concerto" -- the first is really quite moving (there's a bit in the middle that kills me) but the second... sheesh! I am in no way qualified to judge these things but it's just really amazing is all. All tragic and sad but beautiful nontheless... Anyway, Thanks GIL for the CD! I'm going to listen to it non-stop until it becomes a a permanent part of my brain's background noise then maybe I'll go watch Grease 2 again to round it all out!

And HERE we are!!

Well, it looks like we all made it (gross assumption on my part as I've been in bed all day -- i.e. not calling up my chums to see if anyone got shot... still though, I will believe everyone is just fine until i hear otherwise, dammit! Our Chick is nothing if not an optimist!!)

First and foremost, super huge thanks/shout-out to my Best Buddy Q and her lovely other half for inviting the troops to thier digs for a glorious New Year's Eve gathering of the babies! I am ever amazed that we all managed to have such completely gorgeous offspring and having everyone together like that just feels so desparately extended-family-like and warm--gushy that, well, it brings a tiny tear to this salty old Chick's eye! I heart you guys sooo much! I swear I have the best bunch of buddies a gal could hope to have! {love!}

Right. Moving on. As we all know it is now January. There are some crucial birthdays in January -- Martin Luther King Jr., my mom, my gramma, the illustrious Miss Tail, the fabulous Miss L-bean, ME!!! Now I know what you're all thinking: "Eek! I've only 22 shopping days left to find something appropriately fantastic with which to celebrate the fact that our own beloved Chick has somehow managed to hold off the marauding hordes for the last 36 years and shows no signs of weakening!" There there. I beg of you, please do NOT panic. I know the impulse will, of course, be to buy me something expensive but I must caution against giving in to the temptation because then I would feel like I owe you (sexually, I mean) and nobody wants that! So, then, what's a poor pal who just wants to show Chick how very much she's worth in terms of cold, hard cash to their otherwise colorless/lackluster lives to do?? Glad you asked! May I direct your attention to the link at the right, namely the "Get on my good side" one that takes you to my Amazon wish list... anyways, really just making conversation, I, of course, expect nothing more from my friends than absolute fealty and occassional kisses, oh, and chocolate! Lots of chocolate!

Speaking of which, I'm awfully excited right this second (in a lying around in bed kind of way) because the fabulous Pretty Boy has suggested that we take a drive over to the rich side of the Bay tomorrow after work and act like we belong there! I am not just delighted with this suggestion because it means adding to the hours I've clocked driving around in a super cool little car with white racing stripes but also because it's just such a sweet thing to do -- go off for a little put around places where even the homeless people wear linen; maybe have a little sup-sup somewhere where each and every portion is carefully crafted from totally organic, cruelty free, adult animals who've already lived a long and productive life and have actually signed waivers attesting to thier desire to now re-join that oh-so-glorious cycle of life that includes my-omnivoristic-self and a little light sauce; possibly ending with a casual stroll round some incredibly clean pier with a bunch of "really very well perserved" Marin types.... i dunno, just sounds cute is all. And I'll bet you there will be chocolate involved! If there is a god (and I know there is) I fail to see how there could not be...!

Happy New year's Eve!!!!

All manner of Happy Happys, people! I hope each and every one of you gets laid tonight (unless you really don't feel like it in which case I hope everyone stays the hell away from you so you can get some sleep, dammit!) and furthermore, i sincerely hope that this coming year brings health, happiness and all manner of beauty into your otherwise crusty lives! Kisses to all of you!! {mwah! mawah!} See you next year!

Warning!

This post contains venting of a "where's the soapbox??" nature so if you're adverse to such a thing (especially this early in the morning) here's a link to the truly twisted -- yet still strangely compelling world of ultra-realistic Japanese sex dolls! Enjoy!

[Actually this whole site is really just begging to be thoroughly explored -- don't miss the pics sent in by the little ladies' "foster parents" -- Makes you re-think the whole concept of "bringing em up right!"]

---

Which, BTW, segues nicely into my mini-rant for this morning entitled: "What the HELL is up with this concept that each and every child has a primal/primary bond to the two people (and only those two people) who donated his or her genetic stock??" I mean there is SOME agreement that it is possible that should these two individuals be dead or otherwise prove completely unfit to raise a child that maybe some sort of bizarre secondary bond can form (maybe) between the child and a non-one-off-genetically related caregiver -- say a grandparent or heaven forbid, a step-parent (same sex-second parent adoptive caregivers are ONLY permissable if the white picket fence is firmly in place, one parent stays home and everybody is super secure in their gender roles lest the child "get confused" as to whom the "mommy" really is -- do NOT even get me started about that one!!) and the thing is I'm really getting sick of it. I'm sick of people who i otherwise consider fairly intelligent shaking thier heads in wonder as they murmur crap like "That's just so amazing that you'd even consider adopting. i mean, I know I'd always sort of wonder about her real parents..." or "That's so cool that you can share Boo like that. I mean if she were my child I don't know if I could just give her away half the time..." And the always adorable flip-side to that statement: "Yeah, I mean, I've considered having a baby but there's just no way I could do it on my own! I mean a kid needs two parents right?"

Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am NOT saying that children do not benefit from having two responsible committed adults in their lives who care about them and want to have a hand in raising them. Of course they freaking do! But responsible/commited/mature/gives-even-half-a-shit does not (let me repeat for emphasis) does NOT equal "biologically related" and it sure as hell doesn't always have to mean "functional part of a committed couple"... Sheesh! Sorry. It just really pisses me off that on the one hand we have working bio moms freaking out about their kids "getting too attached" to their nannies and on the other we have government institutions keeping kids in foster placements rather than giving them to proven, responsible single parents because someone somewhere decided that kids can only truly thrive in an environment where they are able to sufficiently bond with thier egg/sperm donors!!

k. {breathe} I think I'm done. Happy Tuesday everyone. How's the day working out for the rest of you?

Does this make me a "Lady of Leisure"??

Ha Ha! Just got back from watching LOTR:Return of The King with the ever fabulous Travelin' Man! My goodness how kick-ass IS that movie??!

But first, Friday eve went with Bendy Girl to go see City of God which kicked my ass in terms of over the top unbelievableness that is apparently every day reality to people growing up in places like Bendy Girl grew up in... seriously, not a light film -- but good! I'd say excellent even. I was thinking about it way too much on Saturday so I self-medicated with a healthy dose of Grease 2 and by the time Stephanie and Michael shared that crucial last kiss I had managed to come out about even....

Sat. (when not spent watching the best movie the 80's ever produced) was mostly taken up by laundry-doing, kid-missing and make-up sleeping (can one REALLY make up for thirteen years of lost sleep though, really??) then on to today, Sunday, shopping with the famous Miss Tail (during which some TRULY fabulous shoes were purchased and "date" with BG was thoroughly analyzed -- nothing happened, but when one is a dyke even nothing deserves some scrutiny!) and finally hoooking up with the man, the myth, the idea guy himself, Travelin' Man for a little quality LOTR viewing... {sigh} kind of sucks that the kid had to be stolen from me for me to have such a very fun time gadding about with my pals but I guess, in the grand scheme of things, if one is to have one's child wrested from one's grip, there are definitely worse ways to spend the ensuing days...

Ta-Da!

Ladeez and Gentlemen...! Allow me to introduce the one -- the only -- the WebHostess with the Most-est... Chick... Magnet!!! {general roar of approval from an appreciative and obviously soused crowd} That's right folks, our gal Chick has managed to showcase her prodigious talent in just a right enough light as to convince the nice folks at Good Vibrations to hire her as their brand new eCommerce Manager !!!!!

Super cool things about this:

1) I get to work at the swankiest, girl-friendliest, co-opin'-est place currently in the sex biz world -- How cool is that??!
2) Ms. B is my boss! And she's normal![What is that I'm hearing?? A possible end to the rash of COMPLETE FREAK BOSSES who have had the good fortune of being able to label me thier own personal butt girl throughout the various peaks and valleys of my working career????] We heart Ms. B
3) Did I mention that it is now part of my job to play with...er...ah...assess sex toys??
4) How very "time for a change" was it?? I mean, really...
5) Todd (Head ass current company) = ska-rewed! HaHaHaHa!!!!!!

Things that suck a little bit:

1) How much am I going to miss my boys???? (Tony, SigTau, Mistah Lovah Lovah, EP, Sir James, Family Guy -- you make my life here bearable and I'm so sad i won't be having you pop in unexpectedly and saving me from doing actual work... sniff I love you guys!!!)

2) I'm actually feeling bad about my little project. I mean, it's soooo almost there and it was kinda like the CyberBaby I never had and what if someone awful (El Torrito) gets put in charge of it and screws it all up??? {sigh, again}

3) And even if that someone doesn't screw everything up, i still kinda feel like I'm deserting my beautiful team who put in so much time nad effort and now I'm just walking away....

ah, well. You do whattacha gotta do right? People were building kick ass applications for computer asset tracking across large-scale insurance concerns long before i showed up and they will continue to after I've moved on... It's all relative i guess.

So, really, that's it. New job = me. Christmas was fabulous BTW, lots of downtime and hanging about with the child and CP (mostly with the child) before they flew off off off to the land of the LAs. And now, they're gone and I'm sad and child-missing but in general doing well....!

Merry Christmas Eve!!!

Happy, Happy Holidays to all of you Sweethearts out there who follow (or just occassionally check in with) my semi-coherent musings. I love each and every one of you and I wish for nothing more than for you all to have a lovely day off and a toasty glass of eggnog! Kisses to everyone! Mwah! Mwah! (p.s. Make sure you stop by on Friday though. I have HUGE news that I can't share just yet onna counta 1. Nothing has been signed and 2. the "walls have ears" but I assure you, information of this calibre is sooooo worth the wait!) Anyway, Cheers to you all! {kiss on both cheeks} Bye now.

Green is NOT your color

I have a small child here at work with me today! Needless to say, I am just about as excited as it's possible for a human being to get! She is making a Monster Book. Yay! Having said that, I'll not be writing much today as i will be spending any "down time" staring at my child!

Because I love you all very much however, here's a link to keep you entertained [thanks Creepy!].

Cheers!

Whew!

Just got back from pimping...er...ah, showing off our app to a room of potentially interested folks. There was lots of interest (although they were as impressed by the uber-cool mini-projector I brought to show it with as they were with the application but whatever, beggars can't be finicky or however that goes...) and I am happy (thrilled) that it is DONE! I also got some fancy new leads vis a vis this other huge part of the upcoming development phase so I'm pretty tickled right this second.

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Now then, where were we??

Hullo folks! Long time no hear, eh? Gosh, It's is rare, I think that I feel "overwhelmed" I mean I always feel tired and like I've got fifteen tons of stuff to do every single second of my existence but, generally I'm pretty confident in my ability to get stuff done - nawhattamsayin'? The last week, though, sheesh, butts were kicked, my friends, butts were seriously kicked!

Anyway, where did we leave off with this little narrative? Ah yes, the Boo events. Boo events were awesome. On Thursday eve the kid and the rest of the 1st grade group got on stage and played air guitar to "We will rock you!" by Queen (which, seriously, if the very idea's not bringing tears to your eyes then you haven't the faintest idea what Christmas is really about!) then we all danced around like maniacs for a bit before heading out into the rainy night home to our super comfy (now that i fixed the heater- yay, me!) house. Friday was the official school winter assembly wherein my child played a drum and spoke (spake?) a line from a poem about Kwanzaa that her class had composed. Pretty damn cool, I'm tellin' ya! I like having a kid.

Saturday we had yet another show, this time in Boo's Acrobatics class which also was pretty ridiculously awesome; followed by brief appearance at Miss Tail's Hannukah Party where Boo throughly schooled me in Dreidel before the lights went out and we said our goodbyes -- then, yesterday, we went ice skating! Yup, that's right Chick strapped blades to her feet and ventured out onto a surface that was slicker than a plunging larid (e.g the Artic Tern) who got caught in the Valdez oil spill (dunno where that came from, sorry though... bonus link). The Boo's little buddy, Eli had his B-day party at the Yerba Buena Ice Skating rink and I just have to say, my little Boo-ster is such a natural! I, however, am not. Luckily noone fell so I wasn't really required to do much more than escort the kid slowly around the rink. I do have to admit though that she managed to end the day skating on her own, fairly far away from the wall. I... well, let's just say, I pretty much knew every scratch, dip and break that railing had to offer and couldn't probably sketch a farily accurate diagram of such by memory....

Was supposed to hang with Bendy Girl for a bit on Sunday but those plans had to be scuttled do to sudden skating/scheduling conflicts. I, of course called to apologize/grovel effusively and was informed that I had missed my one opportunity to get close to her as she had plans (big plans) for the rest of the month. Being nothing if not persistent, however, I managed to wheedle a mini date out of her this Friday eve (Whoo Hoo!) -- I promised to drive her around in my truck. Never, I repeat, never underestimate the appeal of a red ford Ranger with a customized rear bed on members of the fairer sex! Especially the butch ones, you'd think they'd be immune to it's myriad charms but dammit even boy-girls find it difficult resisting it's basic appeal!

It's so funny because it's SO true!

K. just took the What advice would Christopher Walken give you? quiz by Quizilla and here are my results:


Ladies are your trouble!

"Okay....look....friend. You've gotta stop thinking about the girl. She...she lied to you -- your family knows it. Look, I know that stings, like a wasp, like a wasp with teeth, baby! Here's some walking around money. Take it from me, go and get yourself a new suit. Not one of those JC...Penny jobs, but a good suit. A nice fabric, like Wool. Get yourself a wool suit and enjoy yourself. See a cockfight, anything, pal? Look, you're number one."

{sigh} i mean, I always kinda knew it but it's different hearing Christopher say it, yaknow?

still tired. excited about my kid's event tonight but still tired......

and then, of course, there's this chick who I think I like better than Wanton Bliss by which I mean, I find WB entertaining and enlightening vis a vis gay-boy stuff but I am (sadly) not a gay boy and I just find writing with a girl-ey POV more compelling... I think... anyway. She's in my links now so go visit if you get a chance....

You're not sure what you can say about it. It's not exactly offensive. Not necessarily sexual. But it is really creepy for a boss to create a desk display comprised of three naked Barbie knockoff dolls, one of them with her left side apparently having been melted with a lighter, as it is now covered in black and beige ripples where the dripping plastic dried.

They're not in any sort of sexual position. Just standing side-by-side on the edge of the desk, the first thing you see when you come into his office. And their arms are up in the air and they're kind of kicking their legs out. It just looks like they're walking someplace, nude (and severely burned), and they just saw a friend they're really excited to see. They're shouting hello.

When you went in this morning, your boss alerted you to the new addition to the dolls. It was a little toy guitar leaning against one of them. He said, "See? They're a band."

- Pretty Girl

Brillant!

I want to write like this...

Lean your nose away from your book about a writer having trouble writing a book to kiss her scalp and breathe in the smell of her skull for ten minutes. Her skull contains her brain, and her brain is what reminds her that she's in love with you. You owe her brain big time, so give it some kisses. About ten minutes worth is adequate tribute. Then go back to reading your book about a writer having trouble writing a book.

- Pretty Girl

Tired!

God, I am exhausted! Like really seriously tired. Bone tired. The kind of tired that cannot be addressed by simply "getting some sleep" -- nope, this is the type of tired that requires a glass of wine, a massage, and a good 14 hours of uninterupted rest to fix. Now, since I

1) have no wine at my house,
2) have nobody who feels like rubbing my body at my house and
3) have to get up and go to work approximately 8-10 hours after any point at which I'm going to get to bed tonight

I would have to say that all signs are pointing to: TIRED FOR THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE!!!! {sigh} o.k. I'm better now.

No i'm not dammit, I'm still tired!

And how did I get so very worn out, one might ask (not one who knows even a little bit about what I like to call a life but definitely something that might occur to a casual passer-by). Good question. By hanging out with my friends, chatting on the phone, finishing assignments etc., etc., etc. that's how. In other words, I am currently exhausted because I dared to attempt to stretch my life to accomodate some of the fun possibilities that suddenly made themselves available to me (!!) ! I know! What was I thinking??! So, yes, my current state is my own damn fault. Fine. still though... What would it take to build a life where the thought of chocolate, sex and sleep don't carry the EXACT same weight in terms of things I'd most like to indulge in right now... Actually, scratch those first two. I'd pretty much sell my soul for the last. mmmmmmmmm. sleeeep......

Just a quick check-in

Setting up for the holiday party here at work and there are THINGS TO DO!!!!! Not really but there are those who think there are THINGS TO DO and so I must be in a constant state of standing upright lest I be labeled someone who has NOTHING TO DO???!

Anyway, big Boo performance plans over the next little bit. First, we have the Winter Sing on Thursday which will feature food and songs and drum pounding. Then, on Friday, Miss Boo will be featured in the School Holiday Assembly wherein she will recite a line from a Kwanzaa poem and lastly, Sat. the delightful child will delight and entertain we proud parents as she (and her class) show us a few of the skills they've picked up this last semester in their Acrobatics class! I, for one, can not wait!!! Now, since I know you're all feeling jealous and left out of the goodness that is Boo-performance right about now, know that I am attempting to arrange videotaping of at least one of the aforementioned events so if you're very nice to me.....

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In other news, the Delightful Miss Tail, Missy Miss and the CP have returned from thier jaunt to the sunny reaches of Matzalan. I have not actually spoken to any of them yet but I did recieve check-in via Voice Mail and they sounded rested, tanned and chipper! Yay! I don't know about the others but Miss Tail (IMHO) sure seemed to need a break. That girl is doing some amazing things with her life but gosh, she makes me tired just thinking about the various concerns she tackles on a daily basis...

{sigh} o.k. I really want to continue with the rambling but I am apparently needed to stand in the kitchen area so I'm off off off...! Have a wonderful day my Little Snow Angels! Mommy, loves you all very much!

Well, Howdy there Honey!

How the heck are all my sweet little peeps? I am good. Week-end was GREAT! Bendy Girl sighting went well (well, actually it went kind of serious cause EVERY SINGLE ADULT PERSON in the auditorium suddenly decided they needed to have a word with MY new girlfriend -- KIDDING about the "girlfriend" thing BTW; just a little humour. Trying to keep things light...! BBQ, OG, everybody, breathe....) so we didn't really get to talk all that much and when we did Boo was sad so we were all being serious. I did check in with her later though and she and the Boo had a stellar little phone based tete a tete so I'm thinking it'll all be good.

Next, Boo and I tackled our fifty thousand errands and actually accomplished an amazing amount in an astonishingly short time (for some reason all the lines we were in were really miniscule -- dunno why, but hey, I'm not looking any gift pachyderms in the mouth....!) And we got a tree! We got a great live tree -- it's a Norfolk pine and it's beautiful! It's a cool shape too, not triangular like a standard (dead) tree but more "frondy"... Anyway, Boo picked it out and she also picked out the beautiful chinese patterned pot we planted it in and I am so excited because (theorhetically) we can just move it outside (??) when we're done with the X-mas holiday celebrations and perhaps use it again next year. I, of course say perhaps because we all know I tend to kill plants faster than you can say Rice Crispy Treats ("Rice Krispy Treats!!") But I will try to make a good faith effort!

Finally, yesterday was my company holiday party. It was at Teatro Zinzanni which was grand; very festive and all that. Super-huge shout out to the fabulous Best Buddy Q for providing some quality Boo watchage. My kid loves you guys and she was so looking forward to hanging out with you! She kept saying "Is it 4:00 yet?" -- seriously, she had a really great time. Thank you sooooo much. Also thanks to Pretty Boy who was the best date a girl could want. You make me feel like a big ole girl whenever I'm around you and, dammit, I like it! Thanks for being in my life and thanks for being such a pal!

Hmmmmm...... let's see. what else...? Fixed my heater this morning. I am sooooo the gal about the house these days... OH! and my Baby Brother might be putting in an appearance next Tuesdee for a coupla days which is not only very great, but it alleviates the necessity for me to lug all their gifts to the Postal Office for shipping! Yay! Siblings rock! I strongly urge everyone to go out and get some!

K. I think that's it. Lunching today with BBQ then back to work to tie up a few party details. Nothing crucial/stress inducing... all in all I'm thinking today will be a very restful day.....