Duly noted...

For the record, this space is herein given to supporting an official rebuttal to assertions that may or may not have occured in this blog by persons directly connected to the matters outlined:

1) "Talking for hours" does and has not occur(ed) as that is "sissy behavior" -- futhermore any conversation that doesn't involve food related aversions is actually generally conducted via grunts and gestures toward "the remote."

2) Any discomfort either perceived and/or felt by [this blogger's] visitors can be traced directly to the fact that one's gal pals have no business suddenly getting "all sexy" on them and furthermore who am I [the blogger] to say that our entire relationship wasn't, in fact, predicated on an aborted attempt to "get into my [blogger's] pants" in the first place?

3) Sporatically realized desire to potentially f*** a person IN NO WAY points to a desire for further commitment e.g. "marriage" or otherwise.

Thank you. Now back to your formerly scheduled program....

overheard yesterday in my kid's classroom...

"uh, huh! 'No guns in class.' I mean, it's like a world rule! Sheesh. It's not like I sit around at home and think up stuff that's going to bum you guys out...!"

Quick, whose 8-year old is being taught by a recovering hippie this year?

In other news, I tried going into work today but I jsut got bummed out so after I went to the doc-tee-aires to have my stich-ii removed, I ended up playing hooky for the rest of the afternoon. Which, interestingly enough, is not something I generally do. I mean, if I have a paper due or my kid is sick or something then, yeah, I'll stay home, but I'm not normally prone to "absence due to sheer bummed-out-ness..." then again the bummed out bit is directly work related so maybe it was for the best that I sat this one out.

I spent the majority of my newly found time putting the finishing touches on me and the babies Halloween costumes, pictures of which will be taken and sent to those of you who prove yourselves worthy of that kind of notice...

Quick note, re: that. I have a friend who I like very much and who thinks I'm the bee's knees as well but in a "friends" kind of way, right, so I've noticed a disturbing trend which is that when I have long hair, like when I'm prancing around in one of the many get-ups that required some type of flowing lock-age -- he gets all silly on me. Like he likes me, likes me. Which is weird. I wasn't completely sure that this was the deal until today when he was over here sitting on my couch watching me model the year's coolest Halloween get-up and he started getting all stuttery and awkward acting, then he jumped up to go get some KFC. So, I thought "Hmmmm. That's wierd. I wonder if his like is turning into LIKE which would be weird and which we should talk about cause that would be weird..." so I take off the wig/visor/sunglass portion of my costume and when he gets back it's just like nothing happened. Again, weird. So I shrug and disappear back into the dressing area to try on another long haired ensemble and pop back out AND HE GOT WEIRD AGIAN! Like couldn't look me in the eye without turning red! Suffice to say, very shortly after this, he left. Now I'm all perplexed. I mean I, of all people, with my pavlovian reaction to long-haired boys certainly understand attraction based on a narrowly defined set of conditions but I guess what's weird to me is that we've already got a friendship going that has nothing to do with that, I just don't see how a little appearance altering is gonna make someone start thinking marriage when hour long talks about every single thing under the sun, shared jokes about truly stupid things that noone else thinks are funny and a livelong commitment to supporting each other's addiction to non-touching food never inspired that particular flight. Anyway...

2 year old wants to be on the computer now so I'm out. (Maybe I'll make a phone call or two...)

First off...

There's this. (You need sound.)

Secondly, I'm baaaacccckkkkkkk! Finger is doing well. Thanks for asking. (The rest of the patient is sketchy at best but whaddaya want! baby steps my friend, baby steps...)

K. So I had the following conversation with my Two-year-old this morning:

Me: Hello.
Spark: Hello.
Me: [putting her sock on my head] Do you like my hat?
Spark: No, I do not.
Me: [adding a second sock] How about now?
Spark: [loudly] No! I do NOT like that hat!
Me: Good-bye.
Spark: Good-bye.

Quick, extra points for the lucky person who can tell me which P.D. Eastman book we're channeling at the Magnet house...!

And lastly, I {heart} IHOEL! Thanks for the book/advice/company the other night. You are a keeper.

Please, if you do nothing else for me today, at least check this out. Thank you.

I love this guy...

"Surely when we've reached the point where we're fetishizing sodium chloride and water, and subjecting both to the kind of scrutiny we used to reserve for choosing an oncologist, it's time to admit that the relentless quest for that next detectable gradation of perfection has stopped being about the thing itself and crossed over into the realm of narcissism so overwhelming as to make the act of masturbation look selfless." :-]

I'm a mess...

My finger hurts, my foot/ankle hurts, my head hurts. I was up all night responding to the freaked-out energy in my house (little random puffs of mojo-gone-wild freaking out my cats and giving the baby bad dreams. -- K. just told me there's an earthquake on the way so that's probably what's going on...) Ran into a dear old friend, practically literally, on the Bay Bridge on Sunday. We did that thing that I HATE when people do where you try to have some sort of conversation through your open windows simultaneously slowing down both lanes while shouting "I thought you were gone!" over chick in the passenger seat who's trying to look all pleasant and o.k. with everything/trying not to die. Good times! So, this week-end my big girl suddenly announces (as i'm getting supper ready, getting the dishes -- which I'm not allowed to wash lest I get my stitches wet -- out of the damn way, getting the cat fed and out from under my damn feet) with some level of indignation "You've got too much to do!" Like someone other than me had orchestrated this whole thing! Hands on hips and everything. it was cute. My little champion. Then previous to this little interlude, my littlest one comes into the kitchen carefully holding BOTH of her breakfast bowls -- one in each hand not spilling any of the curlded milk left over from her morning cheerios which she has cleared off her little table in preparation for some sup-sup, and hands them to me! Who's got the best, smartest, considerate-est children ever??? Yup! Me, that's who! (Don't be jealous. Oh. o.k. go ahead, be jealous if you must... ;-])

I'm not supposed to be typing...

I had surgery on my middle finger on my right hand and I'm supposed to be "letting it rest." Ha! Let's all watch as Chick "follows" Dr.'s orders...!

Anyway, just checking in. Went out last night with IHOEL to see one of the best movies i've ever seen! Mirrormask Highly recommended. Quick, go see it before someone realizes that a quality movie actually made it out into the world and does something to stop it!

Blah! My finger hurts. Guess I'm not going to be doing all that much updating right this second after all... k. more later.

Circling back to the "L"-word

No, not THAT L-word. The other one. The one I know is useless. Sigh. Jeesus, it's like a disease where I say I'm gonna leave it alone but I just - can't - make - myself - stop - stopping - by.... No doubt tied to some morbid fascination with the fact that here, apparently, is someone who can do quite nicely without me, thank you very much. I know. Inexplicable but true.

"mini-me" musing cont....

and then I got to thinking about my mom and her life-long desire for darker skin and curly hair. About how she wanted to travel and to grow up in a place that didn't have snow and brown brick buildings all squashed together -- what must she think of her own little experiment with "alternate beginnings." From where I sit, I think we all turned out great. I think she thinks so too but then there's that sort of pervasive bitterness thing that underlies every discussion of day to day accomplishments. Her surprise that we're doing so well. Like there's something sketchy about the whole thing. Is that what you get when you set up your little ones to have the life that you dreamt about -- some kind of wierd jealousy/longing as you watch from the sidelines as these people you created reap the benefits of all your hard work? Anyway... this whole reproducing thing is turning out to be more complicated than I at first thought. Many billions times better but definitely requiring some additional thought.

the fortune I want:

"Your waiting has paid off -- the person you desire will desire you back!"

the fortune I just got:

"Your enthusiasm inspires people!"

great.

Confession time...

So, here's the thing, sometimes I look at my kid and I think "Wow, she's just like me, only better!" And I kind of mean it. She's the ethnic make-up I always wanted to be, she's got the hair I always wanted to have, she's being raised in a cool city, goes to a cool school, is inordinately popular, has "enough" in terms of food, clothes, toys etc., right down to the little sister I never had -- this kid is the living summation of pretty much everything I thought I wanted when i was growing up... which is wierd right? I mean, what the hell? Is this why people have kids? So, they can have little one-offs running around improving on the various areas where they might have liked to have lived life differently? I can't say i was specifically thinking along those lines when we started building her but I do have to say I had a fair amount of choice in setting up my Boo's current situation -- I mean, I did choose her donor/ethnicity, her sibling and her living/school sitch so, it could be said that I have been sort of setting up this up all along. I guess my wondering is whether or not I've been saying I'm just trying to give her the best live ever while what I'm really doing is playing out some sort of unconcious desire to re-write history with a "better" or at least differently situated heroine because i'm curious to see how it (my life done differently) would have turned out. Which seems really wierd to me. I dunno. Maybe it's normal.

---

In other news, it's that time of month again and I need a boyfriend. Just for a week or so. If anyone knows anyone who's hot/willing, please send them my way. Thanks.

and now i'm in a good mood!

Kid is here at work with me. Sun is shining and all is right with the world! :-]

Don't get me wrong...

I adore my kid's little troop of buddies. i think they are smart and sweet and considerate of her ... and yet, at the same time when they're all together they're capable of forming into one of the brattiest, spoiled-est, snottiest, shallow-ist, most racist, manipulative groups of 8 year old terrors I've ever seen. my god! And I'm not saying these tiny people were formed in a vacuum. i mean, their parents are pips as well! Case in point at the brithday today, birthday girl wants to cut the cake. Mom says no, I'll cut it. Birthday girl begins to SCREAM "NO! I'm cutting it! No! I'm doing it!" Mother replies "O.K. alright, just make sure to cut it into smaller peices so everyone gets some... no, not like that, smaller than that, no, Honey, now see you're getting it all over [at this point instead of just taking the damn knife away she turns to her soon to be estranged husband, rolls her eyes and says "Far be it from me to be the cause of a melt-down!" Then throws her helpless little hands in the air and walks away leaving her daughter to serve pieces the size of Mt. Everest to about three children before hopping off her chair and running off to complete some freaking "art project" she had going on earlier.]

second case in point -- Child-who-I-cannot-stand is telling my child to stay away from another little girl because she has lice. I explain sternly to CWICS that she should stop being mean because she's had lice, Boo's had lice, we've all had lice and 1) it's no big deal and 2) it's not THAT contagious. Upon arriving home I get call from CWICS's mother demanding to know whether or not other child was announcing she has lice and chasing the children around and rubbing her hair on them (no!) which is ridiculous if you think about it because 1) how is that a fun child's game and 2) whatever! When I explain that no, in fact she wasn't but that I'd had a chat with her daughter about being mean she shot back "Well, she probably didn't think she was being mean, she was probably just scared, I mean I spent $3,000.00 getting rid of the infestation the last time and I really can't go through that again, I mean, seriously, if CWICS has been exposed again, I don't think I can let her in the house!" Nice. Sigh. God. When they were littler it was so much easier to tell myself that they weren't their parents/going to be a truly annoying influence on my kid -- and I know this is probably coming across as a big ole "Wah, I don't want those nasty, bad children sullying the pure perfection that is my child" but you know what??? I don't! I think they're a pretentious, spoiled, hypocritical bunch of upper middle classers and I actually would like my kid to grow up surrounded by folks who are a little less self-centered/a little more conversant with freaking empathy! Unfortunately the only places I seem to be able to find that kind of compassion are places where people have alot fewer life choices than I and my kids do and so I'm not so sure it's all rosy on that side of the track either.... Anyway. I'm in a bad mood. i'll stop now.

"linner? lunper?"

O.K., on the one hand sick and wrong but on the other... kind of funny.

http://harrietmiers.blogspot.com/

---

More importantly, whose two-year-old can recognize her numbers AND count to eleven??? That's right, baby! All that brilliance crammed into one adorable little body -- how DOES she do it??!

Sigh. I'm exhausted right now. A buddy of mine told me Sephora is looking for a website manager. Not that that MEANS anything I am simply making a statement of fact.

Anyway, I had big plans for coming on here and doing this massive update so all those tens of people who follow my life can understand exactly where it is I am at right now ... but I'm too tired. In a nutshell, i would like to say, the Bee B-day din was fabulous! So, nice to see all the pretty people gathered in one place and drinking wine. Boo B-day party the following day, also brillant! I love that kid and am beyond blessed that she (and her baby sister for that matter) chose to grace me with their lives. K. More later maybe after I get some sleep.

Company Holiday Party

So, I just had THE best idea for my holiday party get-up! the theme is Back to High School or something like that so I'm gonna get D. to do my hair so it's long and big and I'm gonna wear my hot pink prom dress -- THEN I'm gonna carry around big old picture frame with a blow-up of a person in a tuxedo (complete with matching corsage/bow tie and big Elvis pompador) but with a cut-out section where the face goes. Then I'll have my camera on my wrist and go around making everyone take "prom pictures" with me! I know. Sometimes it hurts being this brillant...

in a MUCH better mood now, thanks for asking! Big party week-end coming up -- happpy B-days to the way-beyond-cool Mrs. A Bee and, of course, all the best coming year's wishes imaginable for my own stellar little Boo!

blah!

I'm sick. I'm sick and i'm overwhelmed and I keep having all these wierd freaked out single parent dreams like last night wherein my brain considered whether or not, if I were to die in my sleep, there were enough random baggies of cheerios lying around the house to make it so that Spark would have something to live on until someone noticed something was wrong and came looking for her. Or what if I was really sick and couldn't move who'd take care of Spark then? I mean, my awake brain knows that I have people in my life who would be more than happy to assist in these scenarios and that these sorts of things aren't really issues I should be worrying about but seriously the last three nights have been all about this kind of crap. {sigh} Boo is sick too. I hope Spark doesn't get it next. Anyway, I'm going back to bed now.

When I was a senior in high school, my drama class paired up with the chorus department to do Hair -- i couldn't sing so they made me a part of the ensemble that sang this song:


"White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk

White boys give me goose bumps
White boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder
That's the touch that kills

Well, my momma calls 'em lilies
I call 'em Piccadillies
My daddy warns me stay away
I say come on out and play

White boys are so groovy
White boys are so tough
Every time that they're near me
I just can't get enough

White boys are so pretty
White boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy
Drive me indiscreet

White boys are so sexy
Legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers
Love the love machine

My brother calls 'em rubble
That's my kind of trouble
My daddy warns me "no no no"
But I say "White boys go go go"

White boys are so lovely
Beautiful as girls
I love to run my fingers
And toes through all their curls

Give me a tall
A lean
A sexy
A sweet
A pretty
A juicy
White boy

Black boys!
White boys!
Black boys!
White boys!"


Now, twenty years later, a self-actualized adult with daughters of my own, I can only ask in amazed wonder -- What the HELL were they thinking??!

22 hours of little to no sleep...

and counting.

My life, at this point, sucks.

I swear i'm trying to be appropriate...!

Honest! Can I help it if my cutie vendor support types aren't cooperating??! Sheesh. Anyway. Vendor Guy was here all day yesterday driving me crazy with his "Just a phone call away!" comments and his casual touching of various of my body parts -- then he has the audacity to call me last night to "give me an update"... How the hell is that not gonna devolve into naughty talk???? Eh hem. Anyways... I bring all this up because I just saw pictures of myself being inappropriate with a whole OTHER set of vendors whilst I was in the midst of signing up for my sexual harrassment refresher course and it got me thinking "Hmmmm. i wonder if there's some sort of policy on this that i should know about?" Ah well.

I'm up tomorrow morning at 5am testing the hardware changes we're working on right now so the odds are kind of good that i won't spend too much time obsessing about anyone in particular. Can I just say: boys + me = trouble and the sooner I figure that out the better for everyone involved!

We have the young Stevie Nicks here with us tonight. Such a beautiful kid. Seriously, it's borderline insane how rock star that kid looks. Plus, she can actually sing. She was serenaded us in the car -- kid is six years old and she's belting out tunes she made up about the alphabet with flourish and crescendo 'n sheet! Thank the sweet heavens above she's now got a mom who's not about to let the forces that be take any kind of advantage of her little girl because mark my words, at multiple points in this little lady's life she's gonna get approached by people wanting to hand her a one-way ticket to stardom...!

In other news, the BBQ Baby Girl is having her B-day party tomorrow which is promising to be all kinds of fun and for which I cannot wait!

and lastly IHOEL went ahead and had that triple bypass/intra-species transplant surgery she'd been considering for the last coupla years and I am relieved and delighted to be able to announce that it looks like the Baboon heart is going to take and that she'll be released from the hospital in a matter of months! JK. I am glad steps are being taken though to relive some of the not so great goings on with my muchly missed IHOEL. If there's anything I can do to assist convalescence (short of whipping up some sort of soup) do let me know and I will get right on it!

I'm tired right now cause I went out with some vendor types last night to smooze the night away (one of whom was the flirty lass from the July trade show!) -- not alot to report (got french kissed by the wrong one) but I did want to say that the place we went for food; some Vietnamese place in the Mission -- was GREAT! I know! I'm as shocked as you people are but really, the shaken beef was to - die - for! K. {yawn} Nuff of that noise. I'm off to put the kiddies to bed so I can put myself to bed so I am less cranky tomorrow. Ciao...

I have seen the future...

and it is my babysitter.

So, yesterday a truck chose to become "engulfed in flames" on the Bay Bridge translating into more than a few unpleasant things in my world -- the most annoying of them was the complete and total inability to get to my toddler (which was disconcerting as well since this is the first time I've ever not been able to physically get to my kid. It wasn't panic inducing, or anything, because I knew she was safe at her daycare -- just frustrating knowing that I was massively inconveniencing them and that I would end up having to pay upwards of thrirteen thousand dollars in late fees) but after several panic-ey type phone calls I was able to reach her current "while-I'm-in-class" sitter who lives on that side of the Bay and was able to go get her. (Quick thanks re: the amazing luck that it is mine to have that she was cool with that kind of bizarre request when basicaly she's only known us for three weeks and that she had the time and a car!) Anyway, we ended up at Mills picking up the little one and BabySitter was there with her friends and it just struck me all upon a sudden how very young they are. Now I look at my big girl and she's aging years every time a freaking minute goes by and I look at these fresh, earnest, well-scrubbed young people who are in college fer chrissakes and they just seem really really young. So, my question is at what point do they stop "growing up to fast" and start "not being near grown enough?"

There were three of them in this group. The middle one (my KidSitter) seemed alot like my Boo -- aware, calm, smart, plesant and polite but not particularly forthcoming. Her friend was that girl -- the one who likes to interact with adults, in fact feels they're more her equal than the children she has to surround herself with normally, also super young looking but trying to act in a more mature/sophisticated way. Then the last was the cuter, more puppy-like, nice but not super-sure what you're supposed to say when you're pulled into a conversation with some random adult and her two kids. I was looking at these kids and at the ways they interacted with me and i realized that this little group was Boo and her friends not too long from now. And that while that was comforting (because, really, they all seem relatively secure in their own skins -- meaning, i guess, that none of them really expect that the world is going to be screwing them over any time soon) it was also wierd because it is, in some ways COMPLETELY foreign to the environment in which I grew up. These kids are not wary. they are not anxious and they are not in need of "options" -- i'm not saying they don't have problems but they don't have the problems we had growing up. And, it kind of just occurred to me, neither will my Boo. Which is good -- kind of what I guess we're all working toward but which also means, there's going to be a point where I will have no idea what's she's up against. God. i hope she keeps talking to me.

In other news, i gave Boo the "Who's cuter" test (aka "Is preference genetically determined") by flashing pictures of these two popular cuties:




and





She, of course, being ma ba-bee, unhesitatingly chose Chad proving beyond a shadow of a doubt (at least until Spark is old enough to indulge her Mommy's weirdness) that this kind of stuff is innate. For the record, we both also agreed that Bow Wow




is just soooo much cuter/looks like he'd be more fun to play with than Lil Romeo

So, it's like cyst is it??!

I have a ganglion cyst on my middle figer, right hand. I'm going to have it sliced out and because I have to drive to pick up the sprouts later in the day I'm going to have it done using local anesthetic. No big deal, right? I mean can't be any worse than childbirth... Oi.

I am a dyke!

I need to just put it out there that I am a big ole dyke. And not one of those "because women are objectively beautiful" types either, I am not interested in admiring a woman's "beauty" -- I want to get into her pants pure and simple. So then, having firmly established my unswerving/staunch lesbianicness in everybody's mind, I would now like to consider for a moment the rapidly expanding list of BOYS for whom I feel melty. eh hem...:

New York Guy - sure he's messed up but he's got a voice like hot honey and every time he smiles it makes my knees buckle. Plus he's got a convertible that he likes driving almost as much as I like riding so you know that's a draw...

Pretty Boy - tragic, sweet as hell, centered and soooo deserving of a nice normal girlfriend. I'm just glad he's letting me sub until she shows up!

Dirty Boy - he's not here anymore so I can go ahead and admit that I kind of like being with him; it's like rolling around in a big ole pile of autumn leaves; fun, kind of filthy, in the end sorta itchy and you really need a shower after.

Vendor Guy - another New Yorker (this one by way of Clevland!) who's here ostensibly to help up get our systems "up to speed" but whom I can't help sort of sparring with in a very borderline flirty/insulting/you know you love it kind of way. He's got this huge scar on the side of his face which plus the accent makes him very Harrison Frod action type guy which, granted is discusting but, still kind of sexy.

and let's not forget

the Crush - used to be a girl now identifying as a boy; See! even when I try I still somehow end up on the hetero side of things!

Goddamn bridge!

You wanna know how long we sat in traffic this morning waiting to get on the damn bridge before giving up, turning around and taking BART/Muni to get my baby to school??? Too long, that's how long! So, anyway. I'm actually super busy here at work trying to cover my job and my ex-web developer's job whilst I train her replacement so I REALLY don't have time to sit here jabbering away to you people, but... interesting development in that I've just found out that guy who I think is cute is going to be at an event I'm going to on Sat. so now I have to figure out how to somehow work "sexy and alluring" into "outfit one wears to baptism" -- i'll keep you posted on that one. In other news, the Fox has decided to overheat at a moment's notice but it's all good. Fixing will happen. the world will continue on. {sigh} O.K. i'm actually really going to get back to work now. (I've just become enormously tired but it'll be over soon. Wait. No, it won't! Hmmmm...)

Life in nutshell:

Outing with Pretty Boy to Point Reyes = splendid! His ex-chick really messed him up but he's a big ole trooper and a wonderful, worthwhile person, and soooo unbelievably much more than ole EC will ever deserve (not too mention being on his way to Tahiti where he will go sailing with buddies for the next fourteen days!) plus he's got me to help him out with the more...eh...hem... physical gratification stuff so, really, honestly, I'm thinking he'll be aight!

Kids = great! Everyone is in shipshop shape and bein amusing as all get out. i love my babies. they are the best.

Work = so-so. Bad turning to good but we're still somewhere in the middle.

School = fabulous. Spark-sitter is wonderful. Spark seems very content to be left with her, profs are brillant, papers are getting written (sort of)

All-in-all, sum total i think that if I could just get a little sleep i'd be good to go!

Black folks "loot", white folks "find things"...

I'm sure some of you have already seen this:

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2005/09/01/photo_controversy/index.html

but I'm fascinated by the "controversy" as well as by the immediacy of the response. (Although I do note that of the two, yahoo pulled the picture showing the lighter folks...)I mean, when in our recent history have questionable representations of marginalized people been able to be so quickly and thoroughly discovered, discussed, rallied around and dispatched...? Interesting.

if I may...

I would just like to take a moment to be really very happy and content and satisfied right now with my life. I love my class -- I feel like I'm not just learning in it but that I'm actually refining concepts that I can apply to my real-world settings and which help me structure my ideas around not just what I think I think but around why it is that i might think it thus providing both strategic arguments to support my more grandiose theories AND validation in that other people think they're kind of grand too. Plus my teacher is HOT and I LOVE her (I may or may not have mentioned that I thought I was taking this class taught by a Prof who I like very much but whom I'm not particularly stimulated by only to find that my beautiful, delightful, thought-provoking, clarity-creating Professor K. is co-teaching...!)

Then too, we had our first night with the new Toddler-sitter watching the Spark whilst I'm in class which was by all accounts a complete success (e.g. no crying upon hand-off, happy smiles upon re-aquainting, reports of spinning in circles until dizziness ensued and bare toes getting tickled and lots of different foods getting eaten)!

And lastly, I think I may have found a fabulous replacement for my departing fabulous assistant at work -- all in all not a bad Wed. at all (and I haven't even gotten to the part where me and Pretty Boy are planning a drive out to Point Reyes to "relax" and hang sans babees -- thank you Bees! -- this week-end)! {sigh} My cup. Truly it runeth...

What is it about New Yorkers???

Jeeze. i don't know what kind of aftershave they're collective using over there in the not so distantly settled east but man alive, i sure do have some serious reactions to it! Eh, hem, anyways, had new vendor/support person/team come out to "assess our systems" and while I'd spoken to the cranky one on the phone and sort of gotten the sense that he's that particular kind of crotechy that kind of makes me want to pin em down and force a smile I had no idea he was going to be so very... well... so very manly and blustery and big, cranky bear guy who's already annoyed with us (because we have dumb hardware configurations plus the previous IT boss-lady treated him and his company like CRAP) but still couldn't keep himself from succumbing to our (admittedly strange) appeal. {smile} Gosh. I think I may be developing a whole other "type" preference now that I'm entering my autumnal years (plus it's kinda that time of the month. No, not THAT time, the other time...) mmmmm. right. sorry. moving on.

---

So, came this close to paying 54.00 freaking dollars for stockings today at Macy's. I have been looking to replace this particular pair of "Town Taupe" opaque stockings which as anyone who knows these things knows you can only do in the summer because that's when the autumn collections are out/when opaque is "in" so off I went to the Grandmother of all seasonal shopping experience centers where they did not have my color ("last season. Right now we're doing variations on flesh-tone net") so I combed the racks and instead selected something that was kind of close, a little sheer but could work, I thought, I'll just buy it and take it home and see ::flipping package over to glace at tiny circle with price:: I mean seriously, even if it doesn't work $5.00 isn't going to kill me -- wander over to register then attempt to disguise horror as perky salesperson remarks "Alrighty, $54.95. Will that be ATM or credit?" My response was to squint at the package as if suddenly, in the light, the tone was off, grab out the old pair of tights and state "You know what? These look alot more sheer than I thought. [perky salesgirl removes them from package and holds them up helpfully] Ah, yes. Much too sheer. Sorry. Bye now!" ::rushes from shop still in shock that anyone could justify paying more for stockings than for a week's worth of groceries.:: And that was my day.

and now it's Monday...

hello. in a weird mood right now and not sure why. Week-end was nice. weird in a clingy mildly stressful way (nothing serious just had a not very happy 2.5 year old who may or may not have been getting sick and who has two enormous canker sores right in the middle of her tongue making pretty much anything involving chewing hurt like hell/provoking screaming/annoying her mom who was doing her best to "understand" and still at the same time was being driven INSANE -- anyway, got the definite impression that I/my little family would have been better served all round if we'd just kind of stayed in the house the whole time but at the same time, but I can't honestly say that that would have "worked" any better since pretty much regardless where we were her poor little mouth would still be hurting.... anyways. Saw the Bee kids on Sunday which was grand! Really honestly, too adorable! one of the littler ones wasn't feeling so great though so that was sad. Little kids being under the weather is probably one of the saddest things ever. they're just so tiny and miserable and there's nothing you can do except stand there trying to force them to eat/drink something "cherry-flavored" that they have NO interest in... Travelin' Man was on the scene though (thank God!) and so was able to do most of the "dirty work" re: comforting whilst the rest of us made tiny pandas out of play doh. Good times.

Quick shout out to IHOEL who's starting (maybe already started...?) her new job today. It pretty much goes without saying that this is a slam dunk but cool that some sleeves are finally getting a chance to rolled up as it were... Good luck, have fun -- You rock and everyone there will soon know it!

Plus, kudos to my other Buddy Bee who is finally at the end of her "what other hoops do I have to jump through just so you'll let me basically raise your children" credential program and who will be entering her very own (well, almost) classroom today I think! You go girl! Try not to give up before my kid gets to your school...!

Then little shout to Boo the third grader and her new cohort. I know this will be the best third grade year ever so I'm not even going to wish you luck. I will wish you fun though, and good times. You're amazing, I love you, and if you insist on continuing to grow/get older I may have to call in the authorities...

This is how I torture myself...

First, I take a relatively general invitation personally and decide to go see my Wanna-be-sooooo-not-interested-in-me-Sweetie do some drummin. Upon arrival at the admittedly very cool event I then get in line behind the fifty thousand or so OTHER friends who also want to say "hi"/hug/chat with my WBSNIIMS as well as get to watch his on-going concern/interaction with his most recent ex. From all of this comes one quick hug, a beautifully sweet smile and total ignoring for the remainder of the gig. Nice. Pathetic=me. Seriously, I really need to get myself to a qualified therapist, fast!

---

Boo school starts school on Monday! She apparently has "the good teacher" -- this from a parent of one of the many children who is delighted that the Boo-meister is in the same class with thier kid. I have no idea who aforementioned teacher is but I'm glad she comes highly recommended. They have a new principal this year too who I hear is AWESOME. So, then, seems as though the world is all set in terms of third-grade-age.

Speaking of cool Boo stuff, she had a show yesterday wherein she demonstrated an amazing flying karate kick AND a backbend walk-over (neither of which things she could do previous to this week!) Needless to say, I was pretty shockingly impressed by the whole thing.

---

On a final note: my fabulous assistant is leaving me to go make fifty times more money so if anyone knows anyone who might want to do web development at the foremost purveyor of adult merchandise, send them here (but if they want to be overworked,underappreciated and barely paid send em to me!)

Sad.

My DB just told me that he and the "missus" are moving to El Reno. What the hell? Where the heck is that??? Is it too much to ask that my freaking friends NOT keep moving the hell away to places I would never in a ba-zillion years ever consider visiting were it not for thier newly arrived presence??? I mean, jeezus people, can't you all see that I'm delicate right now. Anyway, I just got all teary. i'll be fine in a minute. move along folks, nothing to see...

(Although, apparently they've got quite the line up "of festivals and activities" out there in the hinterlands...)

School starts for me tonight!

Whoo Hoo!

For Bleeding Fuck's Sake!

Could one thing POSSIBLY not go stupidly, annoyingly wrong today? Seriously!

Ah, life...

WHY am I having seriously inappropriate thoughts/dreams/etc. about a friend of mine???? I mean, once or twice during the course of our long-lived pal-ship, sure, but three nights in a row? that's just nas-tey! Anyways...

Conversation with Boo this morning wherein I ruminate on subliminal racism and Boo responds by cracking me up:

Me:So...[reflecting on the fact that Angelina Ballerina appears to be not only the star of her own show/series of books/etc. but also the only white mouse in her not so small town] what color is Angelina's mom?
Boo: Light brown.
Me: What color's her dad?
Boo: Dark brown.
Me:Is Angelina adopted?
Boo:[Laughs] I don't know! that's funny though.
Me:I'm just saying, because it looks like she's the only white mouse in the whole town.
Boo:her [ballet] teacher is white.
Me:But her parents are brown. You can't get a white mouse from two brown parents.
Boo:Hm.
Boo:maybe it's a perk!
Me:[snort - coffee flies out nose]Ha!
Boo:[laughs]Eeeewwwww!

Although, having done some research, I've since turned up the fact that Mr. Mouseling (aka: Angelina's dad, Maurice) does in fact have a white mouse for a mom but still, Angelina's being pure white still sort of points to a little hanky-panky between he and "Miss" Lily -- sort of makes you wonder if there's some deep dark secret there; Miss Lily was a prima ballerina in her day, Angelina for some reason loves to dance; everyone knows that prima ballerinas can't have/raise kids, what would that do to their career...? i don't know people, I think there's going to be some sort of cliff hanger in season four where all of this comes out... eh hem. K. So. Understanding that I need to get out more...

Henry the octopus!

I have the Bee children here with me right now -- Boo and Spark are also here so for all intents and purposes I currently am as much of a "draw" as, say, the couch... Anyways --they are here and they are adorable and I ::heart:: them. Before the lovelies showed up our life was all about back-to-school-shopping (!!) for one big ole grown up 3rd grader! Her CP and I are pretty much able to act like friends right now but interestingly enough (or distressingly, however you want to look at it...) at one point Boo (tired and hungry) was not listening to her CP and aformentioned CP says to me "Does she do that with you? Disrespect you like that?" Now this threw me a little. First, actually, no she doesn't but even if she did I don't know that I would call her behavior "disrespectful." I mean she very definitely was being "bad" in that she was continuing to do something her mom had asked her (politely) not to do but disrespectful??? I dunno. Seems to me more like she was just expressing her (granted, wrong) opinion about how she'd like the situation to work. I mean, is it just me? Anyway, it made me think that we've (me and CP) almost never sat down and "discussed" the Boo (I mean we RAVE about her all the time but actually discussing her almost never happens other than trying to figure out a way to address some need she might have expressed or where she goes to camp on a given week) and then too almost never when she's not around... So, I left a mee-suage with the CP asking if she'd like to "go for a coffee" after we drop off our angel for her first day of school so we can discuss. Hopefully some good will come of it/I will not get mad and have to kill her.

---

Other news has to include the fact that the fabulous Miss Tail has "met" someone on one of her school group outtings and I could not be more thrilled! He had better call her/not be a jerk/user/a**hole, though -- I just don't have the time to kill anyone right this instant.

Fish!

My big girl got another fish this week-end. It's a Kawarimono Nishikigoi (non-metallic koi) of the Shiro Matsuba variety (all-white) that has been bred to have more flowing "butterfly" fins and tail than standard koi. I bring all of this up because up until I reached the register and displayed some surprise at the fact that I was paying $8.99 for a freaking goldfish (keeping in mind, people that the Boo's official class fish we had previously purchased -- variety: "feeder" -- was $0.78 with tax) I had no idea what an illustrious line of finned family I was buying into. Anyway. We now have this "lucky fish" which, I do have to admit, especially when seen shimmering silkily next to her other, less exotic brethren, is pretty damn beautiful. Her name is "Snowy" and I have NO idea what we're going to do with her after she assumes her full-grown size rivaling that of a small dog. Ah well, c-est la vie....

I'm at home right now putting the "finishing touches on" (aka thinking about starting in about twenty minutes or so...) a paper that's due tomorrow in my Proposal and Dissertation Readiness class. I am officially over school. Nice since my Fall classes begin again on the 22nd. {sigh} which, now that I'm thinking about it/just made myself feel guilty, I think I'll actually go do. Stay tuned though for the point at which I get bored with writing and come back here to spout off about the lady at work who called me "conservative" (and meant it as a compliment!)

Be jealous...

Be very, very jealous. Me and the big kid just put horse-headed flames on the sides of our car! Plus, we put this cool tribal decal on the hood. I mean, I KNEW we were cool but now -- we're sa-weeeeeeet...!

Whose 7-year-old Baby Girl is with her at work right now?

Yup. Who's delighted with that scenario? Me, that's who!

I have the best baby!

Well, I mean TECHNICALLY she's a toddler but she's my little sweetie so she'll pretty much always be my baby regardless... and anyway, what's wrong with that?! why the hell do I have to justifying myself...! Whose blog is this anyway??! Sorry, I'm in a fiesty mood today because i was up all last night reading an awful book which I would like to compare to Portnoy's Complaint except that it's not that "awful-but-deep" kind of rambling by a self-centered egotist who while presumably going on and on (and on) about himself, his needs and (more importantly) his entitlements is at the same time begging some deeper more global sociological questions occuring in the schism that is considered relations between the sexes... but I cannot. Because this book is not that. It is a collection of ramblings by some Jewish (I throw that in because her Jewishness is a predominate theme in this book) chick who is spoiled to a shocking degree (31 years old, not working, supported by her parents and getting remorseful about the need to "trick" her parents/grandparents into buying her a $25,000 SUV -- she thinks she should just be able to ask them straight out for the car in question...), completely unable to accept that she is the root of all things evil/give her freaking boyfriend-husband/the world a break already. In short, I hate this woman. For every sentence where she admits that some of her misery (because, yes, she has the freaking audacity to be miserable) may (possibly) be her own damn fault is followed by pages of whining about her on-going unmet need for really good sex. Why I am reading this stupid book is a mystery to me, except that I have this thing where I cannot not read a book all the way to the end just in case there's something redeeming on the very last page that makes the rest of it make some sort of sense. Anyway. Sucky book. Long book. Up waaaaay too late last night reading it. Tired today.

---

I do need to say, however, that the beginning of last night was splendid though. Went out to wish the M L-L/K faction Godspeed (they're leaving for L.A. this weekend. I was in denial, now I'm just sad.) Big dinner. Lots of people. My toddler was a DREAM. She was so happy and settled and accepting of that in your face, pinching-of-cheeks attention adorable kids get at these sorts of things(and I hardly need mention she was the epitome of A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E) even when it scary loud she just sort of hunkered down but didn't get all cry-ey or anything. Sweet. I love that kid.

Things I'm looking forward to:

1) Dinner tonight with the fabulous and sadly leaving Mr. L-L and his luverly wife-to-be K.
2) Getting my little Fox back so i can start putting cool flame decals all over it.
3) Seeing my big girl (that's not til tomorrow but I'll add it to the list anyway because I MISS HER!)

Things I'm not looking forward to:
1) My next three meetings
2)Cleaning up my messy desk and organizing my "files" (aka "stacks of papers that are piled under my desk")

Hmmm. I guess that's it. not bad for a Wednesday!

She shoots, She scores!

Finally. Christ. I was beginning to forget what all the fuss was about. Anyway. HUGE thanks go out to Mistah L-L for watching the chil-uns (e.g. teaching the oldest one how to play Blackjack and where to go to get her driver's license online and feeding the youngest copious amount of pizza then letting her stay up until 11:00pm.) Who's the best kiddsitter, ever?? (Seriously, you rock but I wouldn't go thinking about having your own children anytime soon... KIDDING!)

---

Early part of day was spent at park with the Bees, including loverly G-ma B. (!) and the BBQ + her progeny! Good times, my friend, good times... Then lost the big girl for a bit during the afternoon whilst she went off to see the newest Depp creation with her CP after which I regained her briefly only to lose her again to the aforementioned ML-L who so gallantly offered to attend whilst I not only became privy to the secret initiatives being developed in the world of major search engines/community service not-for-profit portals but also was able to re-aquainted myself with the sheer delights of one-on-one adult interaction... eh hem.

And now I'm at work. Sigh. Week-ends are never long enough...

small yappy dogs and kids that don't eat...

The really awfully nice lady who owns our house now lives in the front flat. She's great. Her husband is cute and very nice. They have one of those little yappy dogs though... Suffice to say it's usually up circa 7:00ish and yapping at something ten times it's size. anyways.

---

Other things of note this morning, I decided to stop telling my kids every three seconds that they should eat their food. I figure it's partly (mostly) my fault that they don't eat because I can't stand the fact that they might be hungry so I make sure there's something they can/will eat pretty much the second it occurs to them to get hungry so there's no real incentive for them to eat at whichever period during the day when they might have a meal in front of them. We're on day 1 and half of this initiative and it's already killing me. Not so much the part where I have to bite my tongue as I watch thier cereal turn progressively more mushy but the part where I'm assembling snacks for later in the day and I KNOW they'e going to ask for something in just about half an hour and I'll KNOW I have food for them but I'll have to say "nope" until lunchtime. Durrrrr! I've said it before and I'll say it again, parenting is all about discovering novel ways to prove you know nothing about how to parent!

---

Yesterday we had a fun interaction with a nice traveling magician guy and his lovely wife who spent a significant amount of time pulling quarters out of the Boo's ear in the laundrymat. Good fun. And today we're off to meet the B family for some serious Tot-type fun! Whoo hoo! I love week-ends. I really, really do.

And the verdict is...!

nope. Zilch. TSG cute as she is (although she struck me as decidedly less cute than I remembered) I'm sure is a very nice person but she is also, alas, dull as dirt. Well, to me anyway. I did have a great time out with my Work Chums (a vivacious and adorable bunch to say the least) so that at least made the "going out" part worth it but sadly, not a single spark was felt for or by Miss Couldn't-Hold-up-her-end-of-a-conversation-if-you-gave-her-a-bucket... Sorry, I'm being mean. She was o.k. and in a way I'm glad we got that over with before she showed up on her "real" vacation circa the holiday party -- how awful would it have been if I'd ditched some other young lovely in order to hang out with the unknown that was TSG only to discover the awful truth!! K. Anyway. once again returning to the land of sheltered, understandable, asexuality. It really is lovely here at times and while it's not exactly fulfilling it's not particularly fattening either so it all kind of works out in the end...

and then they were one...

Just had the very best lunch time impromptu date with the oh-so-cute (especially with the long hair) BBQ! Yay! Which meant that I was unavailable to take the THREE calls from my new friend TSG -- 1 telling me they were unable to set up the booth and so had time to hang out if I was available, 2 telling me that an "favorite hoodie" with muy sentimental value had been lost and 3 letting me know that TSG co-worker/sidekick, would NOT, in fact, be joining us for this evening's festivities.... hm. That's all. Just "hm."

possible interesting developments, maybe...

But not likely. First, TradeShowGirl is in town and is maybe going to stop by today for "a tour" of the offices. She and her buddy have also opted in to going out with me and my band of merry Work Chums tonight (I owe my various Kidsitters BIG, BTW, both for tonight and for Sundee eve, ML-L you rock!) so we shall see what we shall see. In the spirit of "what's the freaking point-i-ness" of it all, I'm refusing to get in any way excited about seeing TSG but i am actually quite excited about getting to hang out with my WCs since they're a pretty cute bunch themselves and more than likely will present myriad moments of amusment/hilarity so pretty much regardless, I'm good.

Then on Sundee I not only maybe get to see the Bees in all their glory, I also get to see Pretty Boy who you might remember from seventy thousand years ago when he was alive and active in my life and who has since dropped off the face of the damn earth (due entirely to "being-newly-girlfriended" so it's expected/understandable but still sucky) -- anyways, we're gonna get some din-din so I can hear how the life is going, fill him in on my highlights and try my darndest not to proposition him. We shall see how well that plan works out!

YES!

Just got a note from my School Law and Public Policy Professor:

"You're all done. I posted your grade: A-. Thanks. --Dan"

Whoo Hoo! ::does happy little dance around desk:: [sigh] now then, if I can just stop having dreams about my co-workers and start thinking about the actual instances coming up this week where I might realistically be gettin' some, I think everything will be all right...!

---

Had lunch with the effervescent Ms. Bee yesterday, BTW and I just have to say, that gal is quality! And, no, I'm not just saying that because she is currently sporting the nicest set of bosoms I think I've seen in a very long time (a thought which I've been thinking for awhile now but somehow her particular outfit yesterday highlighted their voluptuosity in such a way that made them appear really quite stunning!) anyway, moving on...

---

Thanks also to the much maligned DB for bringing me this thing called an "academic calendar" which (still inexplicably to me) starts with August! I do not know why a calendar would choose to start mid-year but still and all, thank the gods I have people who know people (who are still attending college -- which is it's own scary issue) who can help me manage my life!

you know what's pathetic? What's pathetic is getting to the end of your calendar (which stops at the beginning of AUGUST for some inexplicable reason!!) and knowing that you have to go get a new one yet and still being so completely lazy that you'd rather write things/dates in the goddamn margins then get all concerned when you "forget" stuff -- than just freaking expending the damn energy it would take to GO GET A NEW CALENDAR. Seriously. I mean, doesn't every single drugstore in the world have these things??!

Not to brag, but...

My kid is a such a rockstar! Consider the following conversation this morning when I dropped her off for the first day of her new camp (kinda new, she was there last year but this is her first day this summer.)

New Counselor: Well, hello! And who are you?
Random Child sitting on stage: That's Boo.
New Counselor: [raised eyebrows] Oh, You're Boo?
Boo nods.
New Counselor: [Looking at me all impressed] Well. I've heard alot about her! [to Boo] Susan [program director] says you're a very nice little girl!
Boo nods again taking it all in stride, then goes off to pick a cubby. Second random child goes chasing after her. Mommy beams.

Sheesh. I'd be nice if I thought I had anything to do with it but... nice anyway that I somehow got such a great kid.

Speaking of which, Boo occasionally opts to change her name and her current pick happens to be "Panda" which I think is THE most adorable name ever!

Finally, quick sigh of freaking relief since final paper for summer class (School Law and Public Policy) which was due TODAY got finished yesterday (thanks in no small part to ex-work chums who came to whisk off little Panda and a little big girl who, while cranky still managed to entertain herself the better part of the afternoon while Mommy typed) and sent away. Hooray! One more to go (poster project, no big deal) then Fall semester starts August 28th.Sigh. I know this is all making sense in the grand scheme of things but honestly, sometimes I think I might be better off just taking the MA and running...

Am I still going to hell...?

If I think "Aw, honey that's too bad..." BEFORE i think "Whoo Hoo! That's one f***buddy back in the fold!" :-]

Why do I think this is so funny...?

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Who just got an e-mail mere moments ago from her high school boyfriend (who is now living with his lovely wife and two children in Oregon) -- I did that's who! Weird. I think I last spoke with him when Boo was a toddler and the little Missus was pregg-ers with the first! Ah, well.... Speaking of e-mail, who also got a "follow-up" from one of the cutie girls at the trade show letting her know that aforementioned cutie girl was "90% sure" she'd be coming to Frisco for another show in August...! Tee Hee. May have to pull in some of those evening babysitting offers for this one; after all can't let the poor dear wander around a city as scandalous as this alone now can we??

Note...

Apparently for an item of clothing to be "distracting" one needs first to have some measure of simple attention from somebody... [sigh - i'd be funny if it wasn't so sad.]

Today I am "distracting"...

I have just been informed by a second person today that my "shirt is distracting" -- the first was my beautiful, finally home from jammy-maka Boo, who told me that my shirt made her want to "do my buttons up" (a really very nice gesture which I chose to decline) then here at work, I was told that I needed to "close my shirt" because it was "distracting" that particular comment however came from someone who not only has no power over me and/or my position here but who also has been nursing a tiny crush on yours truly for a bit now and so, it too, was summarily dismissed. I do, however plan to test the distraction potential of this shirt on one or two people in this building who I would actually like to stir up so stay tuned for more on that subject.

In other news, I got my beautiful brown tired looking Big Girl back on Sat. eve and I just have to say I am STUPID in love with that girl. She's just so very much one of the primary reasons I am having so much fun existing right now -- anyhoo spent Sundee morning picking out a bike/staring at her (also got the world's coolest tiny bike for my little girl, a-freaking-dorable!) then headed over to hang with the Bee kids and the super fabulous Travelin' Man for the afternoon. Cute. Sweet. Brillant. It never ceases to amaze me how me and my buddies managed to get all the cool kids. Ah, well.. ours is not to question why... :-]

And lastly, I was going to put a note in here about the Trade Show an the various hijinks that may or may not have gone on but instead I will simply say that if all of the lovely ladies that I met and flirted with and subsequently invited out for the Company Holiday party/to stay with me personally actually take me up on the offer... Well, I'm screwed pure and simple. Fun to throw it around like I meant it though! ;-]

I'm in Pasadena at a convention/industry show. This one is not nearly so Sexually charged as the last (which is ironic since it's actually about S-E-X and the toys and videos and various acroutemont one might need to better facilitate that but I suppose that's neither here nor there) -- I'm here with a bunch of co-workers and while I love them to the very ends of whichever earth it is we're on they are a for the most part settled lot, with wives and partners and boy-toys back home, who are really interested in getting some sleep more than anything else (as am I typically but when one only has the few minutes of "alone adult time" one want to make the most of it!) so the actually going out part isn't really happening. Although we did go out last night for a few seconds to a club to dance with a bunch of people we met at the convention. Fun for the most part, I have to say though, I'm noticing a lightly disturbing trend in that I think I'm becoming attracted to the same kind of ladies my dad likes. There's a certain type of down home, smart but not necessarily "educated" beautiful, tragic type of lady-friend that my dad seems to get himself involved with who you just take one look at and you fall instantly into "Aw, honey! C'mere Let me show you how nice life can be...!" and I kind of knew I was trending in that direction with Stripes but I met another lady last night (the husband of Bert who "has 40 stores!" and is living in Florida now where it's not "so dang hot!") who I LOVE! I want to take her home with me. I want to take care of her. I want to see that she gets every single pretty thing her sweet little Kentucky bred heart desires; plus I want to mess up her long black hair and make her beautiful green eyes roll up into the back of her head but that's another story... Anyways. I know, FOR A FACT that were pops here, we'd be fighting over this gal. Which is interesting. And disturbing. And kind of cool.... :-]

sad.

then too, something I just realized is that having a little extended alone time with the new little big girl without having to "share" is not such a bad thing either. (Not that that makes it o.k. that my sweetie is being cruelly ripped from my arms mere days from now but I would say extra Spark time does constitute a significant silver lining...)

I'm waaaayyyyyyy into these boys right now (well, technically I'm way into one of em -- guess which one and you can win one of four fabulous prizes!) Check out the video and tell me they're not HOT!

In other news, kid is leaving on Friday morning. I'm nowhere near o.k. with it but at least I'm saying it aloud which I gather is the first step toward acceptance.

That's it really. Work is going o.k. (finally) although I've had my feet kicked out from under me enough times now to know that it's probably just the calm before the crap but at least it's nice to be able to relax for a little bit even if it's all a mirage.

pathetic...

God, I'm in a wierd mood. First though, big shout-out / good luck starting the fancy new top level military security job BBQ -- just knowing you're in bed with the big dogs makes me feel that much better about our prospects on a country-wide level!

Now then, week-end was o.k. Got to hang alot with the peeps that matter (with an occassional foray into the world of straight women who care waaaayyyyyy too much about my child's hair) so all good on that front... No, I have to say, what is making me wierd right this second has nothing to do with whom I'm being exposed to it's, quite simply, that my Boo is leaving me in a few days to go to Jamaica for 10 days with CP and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I mean OF COURSE i know what I'm going to do -- I'm going to f***ing soldier on and stop treating this like some kind of cataclysmic event but for just a minute, can everyone please take a quick step with me into the tiny part of my brain that is screaming on a non-stop basis "the single most dear thing to you in your entire world is going to be on a different continent with someone who you've not exactly held in the highest esteem for a few years now, and, that in the event of any sort of even kind-of emergency you [I] am not only not going to be able to do a damn thing -- in fact, the odds are incredibly good that you [I] won't even know anything has happened until 1) they fail to show up at the Oakland airport at 10:33pm on July 23; 2) the ransom note arrives attatched to a blurry video tape and/or the CIA phones and tells me "not to panic." Seriously, I get that I'm overreacting but can I please ask that you all feel me on this??! My baby is leaving the country! God. I'm making light of this but seriously, this is freaking me out. Sigh. Sorry. I'll apologize in advance if I'm irritating my nearest and dearest but I don't think I've ever been so freaked out (in a low-level I know it's really not that big a deal so why am I losing my mind over this) kind of way...

Me and my babies!

At Pride -- Holla back!

Good luck!

Just a quick shout out to the fabulous IHOEL, hope your "event" this afternoon goes swimmingly and you get every single little thing you ask for!

In other news, check out my article...

Coupla things...

First and most important being HAPPY B-DAY, BBQ! I ::heart:: you more than almost any other living adult and I am THRILLED that you not only exist but that you continue to find value (albeit generally of the "entertainment" sort) in my humble company. I just got off the phone with the "image" guy for Sephora BTW (aka Angel) and he says we need to either go with Cargo cosmetics line or "whatever that new line is they have at Walgreens!" Nice. Anyway... I ran into my always impeccably turned out ex-co-worker today in the lunch line and he (looking as impeccably turned out as ever) enlightened me as to two important facts. The first being that Ernest Boy ex-coworker and his loverly illegal immigrant wife have just had a beautiful bouncy baby! (Whoo Hoo! Couldn't have happened to nicer folks!) and that he himself is due to be wed/shackled/whatever the heck it is when you basically sign yourself into some sort of bizarre shared indentured servitude in just a few days! Double yay! Again, really couldn't happen to a more impeccably turned out individual! All the best wishes and mazel tov to you and yours!

K. So, now that that's out of the way, did I tell everyone that I very nearly got a time-out the other day for showing up late for a Boo performance (one in which she performed heart-stopping feats of acrobatic skill on a contruction of ropes and pvc piping known simply as "the birdcage"!) barely catching her "group act" and missing her solo entirely? She was mad. Now, I've never really had the Boo mad at me beforeand I have to say, it's not something I would wish on mine worst enemy. kinda sucks truth be told. Anyway, during my groveling I inquired (somewhat jocularly) if I "was in trouble" and needed a time-out to which she snapped "Yes!" and returned to her arms-crossed-staring-silently-out-the-window stance which very near killed me. We made it all up later when we got home (and I ahd access to cookies with which to bribe her) but I tell ya, it was hairy for a minute!

Wow.

So, just got back from Bourbon street where I got a big guy to pay for strippers/lapdances for me all night long and I just have to say... First club, met cute girl in the bathroom. Blonde. not really my type but into girls so that was nice. but moved onto second club where Stripes was dancing and OH. My. God. So cute. brown hair up, adorable natural body, whispers in my ear "we have to go do this birthday guy but stick around..." lap dance plus up on stage plus friend who says "Are you the dildo girl?" mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Loving her a LOT. K. sorry. more than a little drunk. mmmmmmmmm. strippers. Seriously, are there any better people in the world????

Things that make you go "Hmmmmm....."

Aresenio?? Anyone???

K. So, a coupla things I've noticed about the Crescent City:

1) N'awlins girls can wear the HELL out of some shoes! Damn. And the skirt/shoe/bra-with-the-good-uplift combos they've got going on out here... well, let's just say, it makes me wish I was a dyke so I could properly appreciate... oh, wait...

2) White people out here are WHITE. Like I get that we're technically in the south and I'm not saying that there's anything WRONG with being WHITE it's just interesting how there aren't any other flavors of peach. Fer instance, not alot of Italian/Irish mixes walking around helpfully giving out directions if you know what I mean...

3) Straight girls are easy. I know, this is not N'awlins specific but still, it's where I happen to be and it's where my new "friend" happens to be so that's really all I have to work with right now. (Speaking of which, how much to hell am I going that I JUST spent a full 15 minutes flirting with another straight girl presenter right in front of M's sad, confused, little nose!!! Very is how much!)

K. conference done for the day. Now I work on work stuff then it's off to the French quarter to have a drink and to listen to what my little buddy's boyfriend did to piss her off (this time.) :-]

ah.

I'm sitting here in the world's most comfortable white cotton robe, at a cute little round table sipping my complimentary morning tea and staring out the window at a beautiful old ivy-covered brick building. Life, she ees gud...!

Now then. Where was I?

1) Last week was crazy. Spent the week-end at Lake Powell with my family (including my brother's adorable sons and newly HUGE -- like a foot taller than me -- / beautiful "grown-up" daughter). The Lake was beautiful. The desert was amazing. I got to talk to my Dad quite a bit. He's a keeper that one. His current set-up though is SICK. He's living in an upscale "trailer park" (100,000 just to get a freaking lot) with a bunch of really rich people. In addition to the outdoor patio and 18 foot "shade" system, he's got a outdoor pueblo style oven, an "Arizona room" (basically a studio that doesn't have plumbing -- although some of the "arizona rooms" I saw were comparable to really nice multi-bedroom homes) the 'Vette, a golf cart and of course, The Lincoln Towncar. Oh yeah, and the boat. The complex has a "town Center" where there's a restaurant, a post office and about a million classes (things like jewelry making, ceramics and stained glass design) are offered for free. there are also four really nice pools. You're not allowed to own property there unless you're over the age of 55 so my pops is one of the youngest. He's living large out there with a bunch of insanely "comfortable" 70 year olds. May I just remind everyone that my pops is technically "poor." I just don't get it.

Anyway, trip was great. Kind of whirlwind but well-overdue. I LOVE my family and they make me so proud and happy and calm and I love that my daughters get to see their extended support system. Unexpectedly (but making a great deal of sense now that I think about it) my youngest fell in love with her super high energy cousin, J. He's the kind of kid who'll pick up a stick and start hitting a stump and twenty minutes later when you check back, he's still wacking away at the stump. Well, my kid was standing right there watching him wack. Very cute.

Back to work for the week which is slightly more bearable because we've managed to assemble a support team of consultants who don't completely suck/are not shady beyond belief so I'm confident in our ability to get at least one of our major projects done.

Pride on Sunday -- the babies and I marched with little Stevie (I do have to put it out there that my kid was looking pretty damn adorable in her knotted up "Play Safe" GV shirt) and the rest of the GV work contingent, then off to San Joser to drop off Spark with her G-ma and myself off at the airport so I could fly away to paradise and end up in this really comfy robe...!

Whew! that was alot!

K. I'm out to my conf. more later. (More which may or may not involve an update re: which traveling correspondent got snuggled by a cute "straight" girl she met at the conference last night!!)

Just real quick, mon...

I'm in NEW ORLEANS. I. am. in. New Orleans. In a really nice hotel room. (with complimentary shoe polish and oatmeal soap.) I think I've gone to heaven... K. I'm out to an con-feer-rance -- seriously, is the fact that all the names here are some tangled version of french spoken with a creole accent TO DIE FOR, or what??! :-)

The full update, tonight at 10:00 (ish)

I hate my job. I love my team though... :-]

I think I need an intervention...

Consider the following conversation:

Me: [Yawn] Hey.
Him: Hey.
Me: What can I do fer you, Mister?
Him: [Handing over folded piece of paper]
Me: [after reading] You got in! [to SFSU] Cool!
Him: [nod]
Me: Did you tell your mom?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Whad she say?
Him: She said it was cool.
Me: Cool. [pause] So... was there a reason you needed me to see this at 1-f**k-ing o'clock in the goddamn Mbbbph! [That's right folks, yet another brilliantly scathing comment cut short by the introduction of a second party tongue into my mouth]

Sigh. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????? I am so glad I'm outtie for awhile.

TMI...

I'm tired. ;-]

On a lighter note...

I just put together a "Cheer the f*** up!" Playlist which includes "Wish I didn't know" by Toby Keith, "All I want for Christmas is a real good tan" by the inestimable Mr. Kenny Chesney "We Really Shouldn't Be Doing This" by George -- Country GOD -- Strait and "Why'd You Come in Here Lookin' Like that" by the one, the only, Miss D. Parton! (What is it about physical/emotional exhaustion that makes a gal head straight for the New Country Stations??) Somebody stop me before I throw in some Blake!!!! Damn, that boy's easy on the eyes...

GOD!!!

Yesterday SUCKED! Maybe today will be better. :-]

LaLaLa...

Still pretending work doesn't exist... Lalalala.

So, we're going to Lake Powell on Thursdee to meet up the rest of the Magnet-brigade for a week-end of fun in the sun (I know, I know, this sort of behavior runs straight in the face of everything we've learned so far about National Security but, you know what?? I needs to see the peeps and if that means they're gonna have to step up the patrols around the AZ/Utah border then so be it!) which means that before I actually get to see any of them I have to run this Joycean (what are we thinking of all the literary references, BTW?) gamut (Think Sound and the Fury) of telephone conversations wherein each and every one of my family members pronounces with dead certainty their belief in a highly effective, completely bought-into, all-bases-covered plan which inevitably noone else has ever heard of. This is hilarious as it happens every year and yet and still we all still manage to end up in the same place fed, clothed and housed (usually on a really nice boat) and having a really very nice time. Suffice to say at the end of the evening last night, the seven year old who was privy to my side of each of the sixty million conversations remarked "Your family should learn to relaaaaxxxxx." She accompanied this remark with a sort of zen arm gesture which made me snort and fall over laughing so I wasn't able to immediately point out that they are, in fact hers too. Ah well. She'll discover the disquieting truth soon enough...

for the purposes of this post...

I am pretending to be unemployed. Now then...

Congratulations to BBQ on her fancy new job offer! I've always wanted a best friend who had top-secret government clearance so I'm glad the moment has finally arrived -- Sephora here we come!

Nextly, I'm so hugely sorry and I hope you feel better to the Baby Bees who are under the weather right this moment. It sucks being little and being sick and I wish you renewed health as soon as such a thing is possible. Best wishes and hugs also to their sleepy-stir-crazy moms who are valiantly supporting their infirmity. If there is a single thing I can do please do not hesitate to let me know.

In other news, I'm looking to buy a car. This is funny to those of you who know me and speaks in a very stereotypical way to my roots growing up in New Mex. where if you didn't have at least five cars on your front lawn you weren't really serious about driving! So, I need a vehicle with more than three seatbelts, a working set of windshield wipers and the ability to get slightly more than 1.5 miles to the gallon -- while at the same time giving up my truck WOULD KILL ME so, here I am, with one car not quite sold/doanted/left to be towed by the city, already looking for another. I'm thinking my new nickname should just be "three-car-family". We can leave it at that. :-]

My seven year old has donned a diaper in a moment of sister-solidarity, my two year old knows how to count to ten, how to say the alphabet and how to make jokey-jokes in Spanish:

me: [holding up a red shoe] What color is this?
her: Azul!
me: Are you sure?
her: [giggling] Azul! Ha-ha! Rojo...
me: Red?
her: [nodding] Rojo!
me: [holding up the other shoe] then which color is this?
her: [big laugh] Azul!!

I have a cup of coffee next to me. A cat on my lap and nothing to do today that doesn't involve hanging with my babies. Life, she ees gud!

BUSTED!

Ha! I just almost got SOOOOO busted a minute ago. See here's the thing, back when NYG and I were "seeing" each other, we had kind of agreed we weren't going to tell the respective kiddos (for a whole variety of reasons I won't EVEN go into here) so we didn't. Right. We stop "seeing" each other and it becomes a "non-issue". Then through a whole convoluted Brechtian turn of events, it so happens that entirely outside of our involvement and subsequent lack thereof, our kids decide that they like each other a great deal and as one of them has a mom who needs to be out on the town tonight with her new Sweetie and the other has a parent who is all about the sleepovers ... well, let's just say I've ended up with little Stevie Nicks here with me and the Boo tonight. SO. They're all tucked in, ready for books and bed and lo and behold, they discover, under the couch a business card with Stevie's daddy's info on it! (god only knows how it could have gotten there. eh hem...) Weird right? Even weirder given that we (me and Stevie's Daddy) aren't really supposed to know each other -- save the one or two times he's accompanied Miss Nicks to various group events. I'm sure everyone will be delighted to know that when presented with this evidence of his independent existence in my living room (on my couch) I quickly offered that it must have "dropped out" of his pocket the time he was here with Stevie for Spark's birthday! Yeah. Because cards do that, right?? Fall out of people's pockets when they stop by... eh, hem. Anyway.

---

Thanks BTW for those of you who called to offer your support vis a vis my total inability to deal with my life a few days ago. I was just kind of overwhelmed by the sheer amounts of STUFF I was suddenly having to do (work = learn someone else's job/fix about a billion really bad things that were/are about to explode in our faces and that inexplicably nothing has been done about; school = going into week 3 of 6 with two more papers due, plus four chapters of reading in a book that I got the wrong edition of - we're talking entire legal cases missing because they hadn't actually occured yet; home = sty. Pure and simple. Too much crap. Too little space.) Plus which, I got lectured to about how my optimistic little views would change once I'd "matured" a little and experienced a bit more life from a woman who turned out to be a year younger than me! She thought I was 23. Nice. Kind of threw what was left of my identity into a tailspin.

All of that notwithstanding though, I just spent the entire day with my kid out on Angel Island so I'm back, I'm good and I think I may even be able to deal. (possibly. I wouldn't go placing any bets in Vegas just yet...)

What fresh hell is this?

Jeesus, God, what have I done...???????!

work + school + never seeing my kids is kicking my a**!

I miss liking my life. I miss BBQ and IHOEL and the rest of the Bees. I want to become a person of leisure (not unlike newly freed, soon-to-be-Slacker Extraordinaire, Mistah Lovah-Lovah) I want to be able to take a day off from work without having to anticipate fifteen tons of sh** being systematically created by the Sup-turned-Sub from Hell Miss J-lo from the Block that I will have to unravel, "follow up on" and otherwise figure out how to fix the second I get back. Sigh. At least there's a light at the end of THAT particular tunnel...

Ah well. Long week-end ahead. Lots of kid time. I'm going to just think about that and act like Tuesday isn't ever going to come.

Can an 8-year-old be a bitch...??!

Consider the following conversation which took place today in my child's second grade class:

Boy Student: [finishing up his report on Gekkos] Any questions or comments?
Supposed "best friend" of Boo: [Raises hand] ...
Teacher: Yes, SBFOB? Go ahead...
SBFOB: Um, [giggles] well, this isn't really about BS's report or about gekkos but... I just saw a lice bug in Boo's hair.*
[Class erupts in squeals, laughter, chagrin etc.]
Teacher: Alright, SBFOB. That cetainly doesn't have anything to do with Gekkos. Now does anyone have any comments about gekkos? [Boo sits still feeling small, embarrassed and confused. I know this because she told me that's how she felt as we were driving home.]

*ed. note - this from a child who actually did have a pretty serious case of lice herself and surely knows how it feels to be teased PLUS who staunchly declares herself Boo's "closest friend ever!" Sad, but I still have to kill her...

In other news, finally feeling a little more on top of the life, school and work. I'm not going to say it out loud or anything because it might all crumble into nothingness but right this second, I'm doing well.

Conversations with a two-year-old

Two-Year-Old: [holding out a Sesame Street "Do the Alphabet" video] ABC?
Me: No. We're going to school now. No. ABCs...
Two-Year-Old: EFG?
Me: Ha! No. Good try, though. By the way, you missed a letter.
Two-Year-Old: D!
Me: [in shock] Wow.


Two-Year-Old: 1-2-3
Me: 4
Two-Year-Old: 5
Me: 6
Two-Year-Old: 7-8-9-10! Yay! Gud Dob! [claps]
Me: yay! [claps. then, realizing her baby girl knows how to count to ten] Whoa! Good Job!

Yup. Smartest TYO in the world. Get in early with your applications to associate yourself with the brillance that is my little girl! Line forms to the left people, no pushing...

Jesus gawd. I don't know if I can get MORE over a place than I am right now. And the sick thing is, things are finally, actually working themselves out! blah. Whatever. I'm tired. And I'm sniffley and I really want to get a lingering hug from a reasonably cute person. Hmmmmm. I think I'm going to get moving on that last bit right now. I'll check in later if there's anything at all worth reporting...

I need to be making alot more money.

I also need a Network Engineer. let me know if anyone knows anyone who is available NOW...!

Brillant!

The week-end was brillant BTW! Lots of hanging about with the girls and with other exceptionally cool 6-year olds. I did some laundry, figured out how to hook up a supplemental VCR to the existing "tower of power" because, seriously folks, you can NEVER have too much VCR-capability! and assisted my big girl in the fitting-out, as it were of her fancy new "we're keeping the class fish for the summer" aquarium. Because I am a loser when it comes to fish (I tend to kill them even faster than I do plants!) i went out and bought the full on mondo-fancy, bio-filtration, uber-aeration "if-your-fish-die-it's-because-you-forgot-to-put-them-in-the-tank" tank so there is a better than average chance this one will survive her months in the Magnet home. One hopes, at any rate... hmmmmm. Maybe I better start sourcing "doppleganger" goldfish just in case...

Black Code

My dear friend Angel is back in town for a few days. He just stopped by to say "howdy" wearing this and I just about attacked him. Seriously, if you are in any way a boy/boyish/a big ole girl who occassionally plays at appearing masculine, you owe it to yourself to buy this cologne. You then owe it to the world to let every available girlish type person within smelling distance come nuzzle into your neck. All I know is that hand-to-god this stuff smells like really good sex. And lemon. With a bergamot chaser. Seriously.

Discussion Points...

The 12 year old sitting on my livingroom floor seems to think that a person should "work" at the beginning of a relationship but that once it's established they are allowed to slack off. I happen to think the opposite; that doing extraordinary amounts of work just to get someone to admit they like you is stupid (although, I will admit that I've just recently arrived at this conclusion) but that once you know you want to stay together for a little bit, that you then need to allow some time and energy for "working through" the inevitable shit that will occur. I know I'm right because I'm 37 and have been around the block a time or two and he is four. Conversely, I am routinely failing to find someone who is interested in touching my naughty bits for more than a time or two and he is happily ensconced in a committed, relatively long-term, relatively equal relationship with a smart, attractive pink-haired girl who, while she should honestly know better, doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon. Hmmmmmmm. I think that means he wins.

On an entirely unrelated note, the little pest just channeled his inner-hairdresser and gave me a really great haircut so while I may never recover from the twin annoyances of finding out that 1) I am once again facing months of no kissing and 2) DB may actually be smarter than me when it comes to relationships, at least I look good.

You win some...

So, I don't think I'm "seeing" anyone anymore. It's hard to say because I still very much like my boy and he very much still (he says) likes me but we never actually see each other. And, having taken a long, cool appraising glance at our respective lives, I don't think it's not super likely that we ever will. Given all of this, I'm thinking that maybe we should "just be friends" for awhile (the kind of friends that never see each other! :-]) and, having put that out there and not having recieved any strong opposition to the idea, I guess that's it. Weird. Anyway...

In other news, I got my 2-year olds new Birth Certificate in the mail today! Yay! They spelled her name wrong, so I have to send it back (seriously, what is up with people??!) but how cool that I am now listed TWICE in various county registries as the "mother" of "a baby girl"...!

Anyway, I'm at home right now, not working on a paper that's due today so I guess I need to get my get on and start working. Hope people's days are good. I'll check in later if/when this stupid (er...ah... i mean illustrative) tome is finished.

Best not to care...

Will be the name of my next book.

So, this morning started with me walking into some corner cafe and paying close to $3.00 to a bored young gentleman for a large cup of Organic, fair trade, Guatemalan shade-grown brown liquid. I filled my 80% recycled by-product paper cup and let the "shelf-talkers" explain to me how purchasing, distributing and ultimately drinking this particular brand could (and presumably would) lead to total and complete empowerment/self-sustainabilty for numerous rural fishing villiages in 3rd world/"developing" countries. Then, as I took a sip of the not-quite lukewarm, not quite noteworthy in any real way brew, I happened to suddenly become aware of the fact that whilst three (countem three) hip young caucasian gentlemen lounged behind the counter occassionally cutting a slice of wholewheat glutten banana bread or serving up an organic strawberry "crumble" in a reusable ceramic tureen for a customer (but, honestly, more often than not, chatting about whether or not the one individual needed "terrain" wheels on his bicycle for city riding or whether that was just plain "overkill") there was a middle aged woman apparently of Mexican descent changing out the coffee pots, wiping up the counter, sweeping together the left over newspapers and emptying the crap out of the used spoon receptacle. It occurred to me that it was not outside the realm of realistic possibility that this woman made less than the gents "on the register" and that's when I realized that there are moments in life when, really, if one intends to continue occupying space in this world/not giving in to the need to kill someone all the time, one really must learn that at times it is best not to care...

On an entirely different note, is there anyone on earth more compelling than Johnny Depp?? Well, maybe, but go have a look at the French kissing lesson in Cry-Baby and then try to convince me otherwise!

conversation

Boo: {subdued tiny voice} Hi, Mommy, it's me.
Me: Hey, Sweeetie what's up?
Boo: Ms. "World's Best Second Grade Teacher" says I can ask if I can have the fish.
Me: The class fish?
Boo: {still sad} Uh huh.
Me: Sure. O.K.
Boo: {surprise} Really?
Me: [thinking: "Is there a 'deal' here that I'm missing?"] yeah.
Boo: {happy} Yay!
Me: That it?
Boo: Uh huh. {pause} CP said I couldn't because we don't have room...
Me: {having it all become suddenly clear/anticipating future conversation with CP re: "undermining her authority/decisions/making it so that Boo want to be at my house more... blah, blah, blah!!!!"} Ah. Well. We have TONS of space so bring it, Baby!

:-]

Wow. Just wow.

http://www.cowboytroy.com/

Two-year-old is doing swell

Thanks fer asking! We just had our 24 month check up and at the nice Dr. office Ms. Simms-Mackey (aka "Best damn kid doctor in the world!") asked "Is she speaking in sentences yet? To which I replied "Hmmm. Not really. But she does have lots of words." And to which my Big Girl Two-year-old then replied: "Whar mi apple??!" Yes, That's right folks. Parenting = nothing more than a series of steps designed to show you that YOU. KNOW. NOTHING.

We also got shots. Which suck. Big Girl Trooper handled it well though her mother was a mess.

Pattern...?

You know who the across the board, most attractive, downright sexiest people are at my kid's school? The divorced moms and the married dads. I do not know what it is about being married that makes all the attached moms so freaking surly but, seriously, those chicks need to relax. There is one married mom who stand in opposition to the aforementioned rule but she is from new York so whaddaya want??

Tangential segue here. I love my big girl so much it's silly. This morning she was being all resigned about getting up and getting dressed and having her breakfast and assisting her sister down the stairs ... and after we dropped off the Spark at daycare and were heading across the bridge... after ALL of this good-natured usefulness, she remarks to me that she feels sick. Not in a whiney, screamy, moody way, but more in a "I feel bad. Not 'bad' like 'mad' but bad like kind of nauseous..." and I remark that I'm sorry but that we're almost to school and can she try it out and see if she feels better? And she says "yes." and promptly snuggles into my arm and falls asleep. Now, I'm not sure what it is about this whole scenario that makes my heart hurt but there it is... Kids. Get some. Love them.