Where to begin...?

My goodness! So much to write about and so little time! First, how cool is BBQ's new house?? Very that's how! Congratulations, hon, on getting out/your cool new digs/your beautiful courtyard where I'm POSITIVE I will be invited very soon to partake of mimosas whilst staring up at the clear summer eve. :-]

Nextly, Chicago was grand! Sorry I was incommunicato, for some reason the hotel I was staying in decided I was not allowed to blog (although, strangely enough, I could get to just about anywhere else on the world wide web...) but regardless, I love that city! (and not just because I found the coolest grey corduroy pants in a thrift store out there that are EXACTLY like the ones I wanted in the 10th grade that my mom wouldn't get me because she said they were "impractical" -- whatever that means -- now all I have to find is the fluffy pink sweater that the girl in the issue of Seventeen that I was trying to match was wearing and my life will finally be PERFECT!)

OH! ran into super sweet gals-who-used-to-live-in-front-of-us at bagels on Sat. pre-Scoot class so that was nice. Quality individuals, really (although, kind of have to say one of them is really quality {wink, wink, grin} the other... she's aight... :-]

And lastly, went on a date with a nice boy. Really. I know, I'm not sure what to do with that information either but I do know that for the first time in forever I'm actually going to watch and see what happens instead of developing my own bizarre theories, overanalyzing ever phrase/action into the freaking ground and then deciding that it's not worth the trouble. See, that was kind of a grown up thing to write, huh? Thanks to the Bees for helping to support this new way of existing. I'm pretty sure I'd be a mess right now without their post-date support/triage! Seriously, I may have to put you guys on the payroll...

Fingers crossed...

Yay! Who had the best coupla dates with my Bee-D pals yesterday?? Moi that's who!

Speaking of dating -- quick update vis a vis all of that...

I am FINALLY at the end of my sojourn into the wide (rapidly narrowing) world of menfolks. Unfortunately, the final tally doesn't look so good:

Contact made = 8

Contact continued up until at least one face-to-face meeting = 4

Contact continued through multiple meetings = 2

Currently still in contact with = 2 (although not the same two mentioned above)

Times actually kissed by prospects = 0

Somewhat promising peeps who completely dropped off the face of the earth = 2

So, I'm finally nearing the end. I have one more person that I'm talking/writing to but who I've yet to see up close. I'm going to Chicago next week so probably seeing won't happen until I get back but after that, it's done. (Not sure what I'm going to try next since dating girls didn't work out and dating boys doesn't seem to be... Maybe I turn to a life of spiritually-focused celibacy?)

You know you're old...

When you go to the doctor because your mouth is inexplicably swollen, sore and chapped and she says "Looks like you burned your lips." Huh? Yes, folks, apparently as we get older our bodies' "natural defenses" (things like moisture, fatty epidermous, pigment, etc., etc.) exit the building leaving us more prone to things like SUNBURNED lips... WTF???! Not too mention the other sagging, creaking, stooping, thinning happiness that heralds our head-long dive into middle age. nice.

Riddle me this...

How come I never like anybody who likes me and vice versa how come I'm always chasing people who are so unfamiliar with what I actually look like despite seeing me once a week, every week for months on end that when i suddenly appear with hair that is 2 feet longer than it was before just squint a little and say "Hey, did you get highlights or something...?" before turning away to continue their far more fruitful conversation with my kid. {sigh}

Anyhoo, check out this really very cool picture my 3-year old took of me (because this is a family blog I cropped it so you can't see that I'm actually sitting on the toilet -- not USING the toilet you perverts! just sitting there, watching my kid take pictures of the cat who happened to be in the bathtub. Long story. Anyway, where was I??? Oh yes, look at this!



tell me my kid's not going to be famous in all the photography/drag-racing circles!

Dar-lin'!!

I just got called "Darlin'" by a really cute butch girl who was parking next to me and who paused to let me open my truck door so I could get out before she opened her door to get her bag. "Go ahead, Darlin', after you..." Hmmmm. I think something remarkably similar to this happened the LAST time I had long hair. I'm sensing a real added value to this whole hot-mop-on-the-top-of-my-head thing! :-)

I don't do the sterotype thing...

I mean, I've been around long enough to know that you just can't believe the hype, BUT can I just say, I've had long hair (really long, and wavy with blonde streaks -- it's kind of cool actually) for approximately 20 hours now and in that short amount of time I have noticed a MARKED difference in the reaction I'm getting from the boy half of the world. Not from people who are seeing me for the first time/random passerbys on the street, mind you, these are people who I see every single day. like the guys at the place where I park my car. two years I've been parking there and at most we are shyly cordial to each other. My hair is suddenly droopy and all of a sudden they're giggly/josh-ey "I should charge you more because I can't see your month sticker!"/multiple people apparently need to tell me where to park (allow me to re-iterate, i have been parking there in approximately the same spot for well over a year...)-ey. And don't even get me started on the suddenly super helpful "Do you need an extra butter with that?" bagel guy.

Hmmmm. Well, since the hair is apparently going to be around for the summer, I think I may just treat this as a sociological study and start documenting. maybe I can use it for my thesis if the other, education related one, falls through. :-]

drumroll, please...

Grades are in from Spring session (aka last set of courses I have to do EVER) 2006

One "A" in my Quadrant Analysis and one "B+" in my Proposal Design and Development class. Not bad for someone who spent the semester trying to redefine all that it means to be a SLACKER.

In other news, a certain store-display-checking-someone who happens to work for a large-ish, cool-ish make-up company has roped me into doing this "hair campaign thing" they're starting which basically means I have/get to sit in a chair for four hours on Monday and have fake hair (well, technically it is real, it just used to belong to some Pakistani lady, that's all) glued to my head. (I've been fielding frantic questions all day from the "shoot assistant" to the tune of "Would you say you're more #2 french refined or #4 deep wave????" And,no I'm not getting paid for this although i do get to keep the hair. ;-]

Found my phone...

Or should I say, had it found for me. :-] Folks may commence with the calling.

eek!

Lost my phone folks so if you call my cell the odds are even better that I will not return your calls!

In other news, me and the Baby arived home yesterday to find one half of the couple that are my landpeeps doing some gardening in our front (their back) yard. All well and good except that it was hot and the Landpeep in question had removed his shirt -- a phenomenon which sparked the following conversation between me and the Spark:

Spark: {extremely happy, LOUD voice as we walk by} Piples!
Me: What Sweetie?
Spark: Piples!
Me: "Peoples"?
Spark: Tipples!
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not understanding...
Spark: Nipples!
Me: OH! Nipples. Uh. Heh, yes, Sweetie, nipples. Heh heh... Well. Look he cut the grass! Look how short it is now!
Spark: Men Tipples!
Me: Uh, yeah, heh, yes, men have nipples too. {smile and nod at Mr. LandPeep while hurrying child up the stairs and inside the house} In we go! Do you want some juice?
Spark: Juice!
Me: {way enthusiastic} Yay Juice!
Spark: Juicy Nipples!

{sigh.}

MY BABY BROTHER IS HAVING A BABY!!!

Well, his girlfriend is and he's involved somehow. :-] Whoo F'in Hoo! More Magnet brilliance by way of the next generation! Is the world ready??? It had better be!

(He thinks there's a good chance he'll have a boy. Ha! Yeah right...)

ah, where to begin...?

Just got back from a biz-ness trip to Chicago last night/early this morning so please to forgive if I'm a little incoherent (more than usual that is) -- Quick note re: the week-end before i left (meaning this one that just passed) How very much fun was it to get to hang out with the shockingly good-looking crew that happens to be parenting the kids my 3-year old is friends with?? Very, that's what! O.K. also on that note... 3?? I have a 3-year-old. Sheesh. Sorry, just that she was 13 months old like four weeks ago!

Ah hem, moving on. THEN to the event to end all events, Miss Boo's Capoeira belt-ceremony which was COOL -- all these kids of varying heights, ages, ethnicities and experience levels showing the grown-ups what they could do. Pretty gosh darn amazing -- CP was there as well and took actual video footage so, begin with the "being really nice to me" part now and you may be invited to the pizza + let's watch Boo perform party being scheduled for later in the summer!

Hmmmm. what else... feeling very fine and capable right this second. the conference was mostly about catalogue but I did meet some great people who I intend to put to immediate use in coaching my department at work AND I came away with the realisation that pretty much regardless of how completely off the mark/expensive and bizarre my boss may think my ideas are, I'm actually right there with what the "industry experts" are saying. Not that this necessarily help me get anything approved but gosh, it does feel good to get some kind of validation for my "next steps projects." I was beginnng to think I was insane. I had a great conversation with this one lady from New Yawk who was like: "Oh, bosses always think you're nuts! It's because they don't get the underlying statistical stuff so they have no idea what to think is important. All they think about is page rank." I swear, I almost kissed her...

{tired} I was going to try to make this an actual full update of all the various aspects of my life but I'm exhausted. Chicago time was killing me (up at 4:30am PST to catch the "7:15" early bird sessions, seriously, who thought that sh** would be a good idea??!) and I actually just got back with my little big girl an hour or so ago (going to collect the big big girl in about an hour) so I'm a little pooped. Glad to be home though. Very much missed my babies. Very glad I was able to cover my chocolate baby-girl with kisses and get her all squirmy/mortified/giggley in front of her little friends/cousin; looking forward to embarrassing the older one in exactly the same way! ah... sometimes it's good to be Mom.

Man o man...

Today kicked my A**! Luckily I am skilled at not just rising above such unpleasantness-es as, say, every single thing that COULD go wrong with my stupid set of IT systems actually GOING wrong (that's not true actually. Instead what happened was we had the APPEARANCE of a major f***up without the actual F***ed up part so really, while I still got my a** thoroughly chewed the hell out, it ended up being over nothing really.) Nice.

K. so moving on. How is it happening that I (yes, that would be ME) am having such eventful and lovely week-end plans just fall into my lap?? First, on Sat. we're doing the party-with-friends part of the Spark's birthday which will be so cool I'm not sure I can even stand it; then, on Sundee my big girl is going to show the Capoeria world exactly how things ought to be done as well as getting her first belt!

Quoting her teacher who called to make sure she'd be at the ceremony which will feature kids and thier teachers and parents from all over the country: "She's just so good. I really want the other adults to see what she can do. I think it's going to get alot of them interested in her, I mean, she's got all this innate sort of talent. She's still pretty modest but man she's really good!"

{blush, smile} No, please. Stop. O.K. if you must...

"She reminds me of myself when I was starting out, of course she's already better than me at the handspring stuff..." Yay!

FYI...

Attention: All Parties who are interested in being featured more prominently on this blog.

The following are the only methods (short of applying a detailed analysis of causality allowing for statistical regression and controlling for both the "X" variable as well as for any randomly generated divergence from the "mean") that have currently proven successful:

1) Have sex with me.

2) Don't have sex with me but somehow get me to think you MIGHT (this is not nearly so difficult as it may sound as my capacity to be deluded in this area is as wide as the summer day is long.

3) Become one of those (rare) individuals who having listened to my nonsense for 10 years or more still invite me to things like lunch and parties.

4) Bypass the "me" factor altogether by ingratiating yourself with my kids. (Note: this one is actually the hardest to pull off since my Angel-babies, while invariably polite are, at the same time, well aware of the fact that you need them FAR more than they will EVER need you. And don't think offering them lots of candy will work either. Believe me, I've tried.)

So, that's it. Unless of course you want to get on here in a "This person annoys the HELL out of me" context. Then all you really need to do is belong to the human race and wait for me to notice you.

Mmmmmm....

Did I mention that I had a particularly nice visit with Pretty Boy this week-end? I declare, that is one boy who knows how to make appropriate use of an incredibly nice hotel room! :-]

{sigh}

I made a new friend today. I was buying a mousepad and we started discussing my (some might say "insane") desire to pair the exact right mousepad with each particular person in a certain department -- at least for the ones I care about. the rest are getting AdTech Freebies. Anyhoo, we eventually moved on to talking about how now that he was "through" with school, he plans on joining the police academy but has to wait until he is legally old enough to carry a gun. Which would put him somewhere between 18 and 21. I think this is pretty much indicative of all that is wrong with me right now. Actually, the fact that he came away from this exchange with my cell number, probably crystalizes that point a little further. {sigh} I am officially "one of those women." I fear me when I'm 45 and Boo starts bringing home her high school track buddies....

Happy B-Day, my little Spark!

Happy birthday, Sugar-pie! I love you and I hope you have the best third year of life a kid could hope to have! {kisses - mwah, mwah, mwah!}

Green is NOT your color!

I JUST scored 1 - Best of the Osmonds tape, 1 - Partidge Family Greatest Hits tape, 1 - Tiffany tape and 1 - Steve Perry "Street Talk" tape (that's right, featuring "Oh, Sherrie"!) Cash out of pocket = $1.25. Be jealous if you must but try not to hate.

Congrats BTW to my best-est chum, BBQ on getting her new job! Being the BEST she deserves the best and i only hope the people she will now be working with properly appreciate her brand of sheer awesome-ness! :-]

Ha!

Take that life! Final paper finished and turned in. so exhausted i may DIE. going to lie down now....

$32.50 w/tax

I {heart} my new mechanic....

Alrighty, let the record show that for the first time since forever I am feeling confident, in control, like I might actually reach some of my many goals and that my work at work is not only being understood (finally) but actually supported as well. (quick, where's some wood????!)

Did I mention that I have a final paper due on Thursday? Or that it is my Buttercup Baby's Birthday on Saturday? Or that I didn't sleep at ALL last night because I was thinking about some stupid project at work/everything that's due this week/the logisticical nightmare that is my life. {sigh} I swear, if I make it through this week alive, I'm treating myself to something extravagantly decadent, like... a three hour NAP in the middle of the day! See if I don't!

Actual conversations I had today

Number 1

Kid: Why are you sad?
Me:I'm not sad. I'm just tired.
Kid: {dubious expression. Obviously not buying it for a SECOND}
Me: Well, I'm sort of sad. I have meetings all day today.
Kid: And they're not going to be fun?
Me: Probably not.
Kid: Hmm. well why don't you pretend every meeting is a movie.
Me: Come again?
Kid: A movie. Like say you're in one and it's Toy Story. Who's in it with you?
Me: The meeting?
Kid: Yes.
Me: Um, Buying and Inventory Guy.
Kid: O.k. so when B&I Guy starts talking you wait for him to finish then you yell "YOU'RE - A - TOY! You can't fly or melt things with your laser beam! You're an action figure!"
Me: {coffee spurts out my nose}OMG! that'd be GREAT! I'm totally going to do that!

[cue a good hour of me and kid inventing other movie related non sequiteurs to bring up during the boring bits interpersed with scandalous amounts of giggling...]

+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Number 2

Boss: You hired someone else?
Me: Well, yeah, technically. I mean they're not actually my person. they're not part of my department...
Boss: But you hired them?
Me: Uh. Yeah. Well, I "facilitated" hiring them. You said I should figure out a way to man the project right?
Boss: Yes.
Me: Did you have something else in mind?
Boss: No.
Me: Am I missing-
Boss: I'm just saying, that's three people you've hired now.
Me:Uh huh. {confusion}
Boss: So, you can't hire any more without giving someone up.
Me: You understand they all do completely different jobs, right?
Boss: Yes. I understand that. But it adds up. You can't hire any more people this quarter.
Me: Even if they're for other departments?
Boss: Yes.
Me: Um. O.K.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Number 3

Me: So, I've got some sort of massive oil leak and the transmission is making a tick-tick-tick sound {mental note to self, previously delivering this kind of info to Car People at the Dealership means they charge me $300.00 just because I made them type in the "customer states" field.}
New Car Guy: Hmmm. O.K. I'll have a look.
Four hours later (as opposed to days at aforementioned dealership)
New Car Guy:O.K. it's fixed. Your oil filter had shrunk and there was no oil in the engine so that's why it was knocking. I changed the oil, replaced the filter and topped off the tranmission fluid.
Me: Wow! That's great. How much?
New Car Guy:$35.00.
Me: Excuse me?
New Car Guy:$35.00. I just charge you for an oil change.
Me:I love you.
New Car Guy: {embarrassed silence} Um... so, are you going to come get it today or tomorrow?

Two of these conversations made me incredibly happy. One made my head hurt. All-in-all, I think that's leaves me feeling pretty good. :-]

Funny, sad...

{sigh} too much to do. going to die.

O.K. then, funny/sad thing happened today with the Boo at school. First, her teacher made her cry. Completely unintentionally -- Boo's teacher is fond of less than on-color jokie-jokes which she likes to share with the kids (nothing "R" rated or anything like that. more PG-gross...) and today in class they did that counting joke: I made a poop and the next kid says I one a poop; I two a poop; etc. well my kid was number eight. Everyone laughed. Boo cried. Teacher felt horrible (I happened to show up thirteen seconds after it happened and she was mucho apologetic since she's well aware the Boo is one of "those" kids (super-sensitive/doesn't really see the point to potty-humor/karmically probably older than her teacher by a few lifetimes...) Anyway, funny part about all of this is Boo is sad and teacher is the one who made her sad and as I walk up one of her little friends says "Ah, no! Now her mom's in it! It's Personal!" like me and her teacher are gonna throw down in the hallway! Ha! Anyway...

Also very sweet was that there was a small cluster of children (boy friends, NOT the group of turncoat-girls who call themselves her "best" friends!) patting her shoulder and playing with her hair and trying to cheer her up. These are third grade boys, people and I saw not a single eyeroll/snicker. There is hope for the world.

k. back to work... {sigh again}

"Now it's personal!" {snicker}

O.K. so I'm working, right...

but seriously, how cute is it that my Baby just DANCED in here and announced "Time-time!" [translation = "bedtime"]

Anyway. I really am going to post about my trip and the subsequent return to work madness -- just as soon as the maxness subsides. For now though, I want to put out there the fact that I {heart} the Mister and Missus Lovah-Lovah like nobuddies bidness and not just because they are the sweetest, most considerate(test) human beings on the planet today. Nope. Mostly it's because they take a mean wedding photo! K. Going back down...

aaaahhhhhhhh! That was refreshing.

Wow!

Just got a note from one of my buddies from high school who I came out here with (literally it would seem since we all appear to have ended up big ole homos!) He's running an urban kids after school program and he and his hubby are adopting a pair of siblings! We're going to drop in on them when we're down there but really, how freaking cool is that???

Did I mention that i LOVE Miss Tail? My god, that woman has some of the most amazing insights plus she's funny and smart and makes me laugh. I am such a lucky person.

this is one of the sweetest postings I think I've ever seen...

My friend sent me this because she knows I'm looking for a boy to date. Why she thinks a 20-year-old is right up my alley is beyond me... :-]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not looking for anything... - 20

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2006-04-04, 11:00PM PDT


…I’m just sitting here hoping.

Okay, so I’ll admit I’m a little screwed up and that I don’t quite like the way things are going for me right now, but, I do have hope. Hope of a happier life that I can share exclusively with another person. A person with whom there is mutual attraction (mentally, emotionally, and of course physically), devotion, and understanding. I dream of waking up to the sun beating down on our bed and her body against mine. There, in the first few minutes of waking, we would decide whether to pack our things and leave to travel the world or instead to stay and explore some of the finer things in life.

We both would have similar tastes in music (Beatles, Ben Harper, Cake, Jack Johnson, White Stripes, Tom Waits), movies (I <3 Huckabees, Wes Anderson, and Charlie Kaufman), and humor. Together we would laugh at the most inappropriate of times, stop for a moment, then laugh even harder.

I don’t even know if these hopes are reasonable, but, I do know I am too damn young. Where's that fast-forward button when you need it?


Yeah, I know I'm a bastard for making you think i posted a picture of myself but hooray for MSPaint!

[insert smallish picture of tiny person walking under very blue sky]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

awwwwwww!

Happy Birthday, Travelin' Man!

What're you now? 35? 40? Just a quick note to wish you the best b-day ever! i think you're a hell of a guy and I'm simply delighted that you continue to like me well enough to talk to me at gatherings and stuff. Cheers and Mazel Tov!

The saddest day of the year.

Kiss an hour of your life good-bye, people and turn those clocks ahead. Man, whoever thought DST would be a good idea should be taken out and... well, sat right down and given a good talking to! ;-]

Yay!

I've got all the beautiful children here with me tonight! Thanks be to GOD the Bee 'rents saw fit to park their kids with us for a bit. I think that if I'd just been the three of us in the house tonight without any distraction for the littler crankier one, there would have been a greater than slight chance that the authorities would have had to be summoned (you know, just to check things out...) :-]

God, I'm certifiable.

I am unbelievably tired and cranky right now (plus somewhat sad that it seems to be taking a very long time for the Boy to realize he can't live without me...) On the flip-side I got our cruise documents in the mail yesterday and I have our passports and I'm figuring out how we're getting from the airport to the dock and I am JUST SO EXCITED about our vacation I can hardly stand it!

So, in an interesting turn of events yesterday, The Boy's "friend" failed to materialize for lunch (and about which he felt just AWFUL -- a little too awful, actually but I'll let that slide...) so end result is I got to see him TWICE this week plus, I got to go peek at the studio where him and his band are recording some demo. The studio is actually somewhat famous I guess in terms of cool 70's era bands who recorded stuff there. I, of course am clueless abut things like that so I was more fascinated by the fact that the rooms are "trapezoidal" instead of square. {sigh} I'm wondering if this whole situation, wherein it is apparent that he does sort of like me but at the same time really isn't going to let me jump on him, is some sort of cruel trick fate has seen fit to play (conversely, it has been pointed out by the people who track these things that me falling for people who like me but who are sexually unavailable is pretty par for my course and I should probably be used to it by now. It is my personal opinion, however, that the people offering these observations are jealous/on crack so I am choosing to and will continue to ignore thier little "insights" in favor of my own skewed view of the world. Thank you.)

I think this is funny

26 Reasons why men should have a dog instead of a girlfriend/wife:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog's parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can't talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
14 . Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater!
22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.
25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.
And, last but not least:
26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Can you tell i'm bored...? ("If I died, would you get another dog?" Ha!)

Cruise = 10 days away. I think I may PASS OUT, I'm so excited!

Enough about dating!

So, Boo got kissed the other day. CP got ALL FLIPPED OUT about it. I got a little flipped out about it too but mostly because I was annoyed because the boy in question didn't ask Boo if it was o.k. that he kiss her. He just seized the moment, as it were. For me this is right up there with her other friend (a girl) picking her up all the time when she doesn't want to be picked up or the bigger girls at school who are always patting her/touching her hair because she's little and cute. I see it as a personal space thing as in "Respect my kid's personal space/leave her the hell alone unless she says it's o.k." In CP's opinion, though, this is worse because it's sexual in nature. And that's where i just don't know. I mean it's not like this kid is 16. He's 8. He's had a crush on Boo since kindergarten. All the kids in her class are talking about who "likes" who and who "favors" who (which kills me that they're using a Grandma term. i wonder if they're going to have "special friends" when they get older! But I digress...) If I recall correctly when I was 8 my bestfriend and I physically held a red-headed boy named Daniel down so we could ostensibly "count his freckles" but which ultimately culminated in him getting kissed against his wriggling little will... NOT that I'm saying anyone who feel like it should be allowed to just waltz up and kiss my kid, I guess, i just don't see it as all that different from the aforementioned other types of "unwanted physical contact"... Anyone? Is this just me?

That does it...

the gloves are coming off! How you gonna tell me you're "kinda in the middle of something with someone else" then continue to be all cute and adorable about stuff when we meet for lunch THEN send me a note that says: "So, I've been thinking about this and i think I know someone who'd be great for you!" WTF??! Sure, I get that on some level I need to start learning that "no means NO!" but seriously -- while I acknowledge that it is possible to be torn about whether or not I actually am THE BEST THING that's ever going to happen to you (yes, I am but some people need time to get there) and possibly needing a minute to re-arrange/re-consider whatever "other thing" you've got going, setting me up with your friend?? Why? So, I'll be in your circle and can watch you and your galpal being all snuggley? Who is that fun for? The only best case scenario there is that I decide it's almost as fun to be equally snuggley with the buddy but even THAT (given my track record for respecting boundaries) ensures NOTHING in terms of original crush allieviation. Alright, alright, so sure I did put it out there that there was a certain amount of Owed-ness in terms of meeting my demands (if you're not gonna do it, find me someone who will!) but at this point...? I dunno, it just seems right up there with putting out fires with bourbon...

Sad, sad, sad...

Allow me if you will, to chronicle the gradual demise of a once fully functioning female.

1) Decide to start "dating" boys
2) Place ad on the List. Begin ending flirtatious conversations conducted in social settings with "So, you should call me..."
3) Date.
4) Realize that "dating" means connecting -- scheduling, meeting, talking, occassionally hugging (although not so much "liking"...) and get stressed/frustrated/bored
5) Decide to just like someone already.
6) Find out he's actually not available.
7) Decide to like someone else.
8) Find out he's COMPLETELY innappropriate for your purposes
9) Decide to like someone else.
10)Find out he, too, is unavailable. But continue "seeing" him anyway because he's cute and funny and whatever... it's not like you have anything else to do with your time.
11)Have a conversation wherein he intimates that it might be likely that he might actually begin to be liking you in a way that might engender more than lunchtime meetings.
12)Respond in a favorable yet still platonic way.
13)Check e-mail, phone, post office daily/hourly/minutely for ANY subsequent correspondence from him. (Nada.)
14)Get depressed
15)Wonder What the HELL??
16){sigh} Reconsider Inappropriate Boy who is at least still in touch...

Sad. It's been awhile since I was straight -- someone tell me, is this how it goes???

Don't know why exactly...

But, I'm depressed right now. Honestly though, no good reason since everything is the same as it's always been... although, may be exactly the reason everything seems a little sucky. ;-]

tired...

Dating sucks. Just putting that out there. Although it did engender a really neat simile all the way out of the sunny shores of Tex-ass.

Me:Dating sucks.
Angel:Aw.
Me:No really. Noone says what they really want so they think you're kidding or something when you say what you really want then they get all weird and sensitive on you.
Me:Or mad.
Angel:hang in there, GirlBaby! First off it'll get easier. Second, if you're gonna find the needle that's bent like you are you have to go through alot of stack...
Me:{giggle}I love you.
Angel:I know. Now tell me what you smell like these days...

Anyway... Week-end was grand! weather was Fab. My favorite family of five celebrated the birthday of the Patriarch and was good enough to invite me so that was fun. Then, yesterday the CP and I got together with the babies over din-din to discuss (eek!) the oldest kid's Middle school prospects for which we will need to be crafting some decisions circa DECEMBER OF THIS YEAR! Which I am not mentally prepared to deal with. At all.

Jeesuz Christ on a cracker, irony sure is ironic sometimes...!

K. So, here I am, going straight. Or at least the straight side of bi. I'm doing o.k., right? I'm talking to boys, I'm having coffee with potential dates of the opposite sex, i'm outing myself to the nearest and dearest in my life just so no one is confused and/or concerned should I appear someday at some hoiday gathering with a human being on my arm who is slightly taller/hairier than perhaps they might be used to seeing -- I'm growing out my nails, wearing eyeshadow, and the bra with the good uplift... I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing DAMMIT! Why then has the great God almighty seen fit to suddenly introduce this girl librarian onto my floor at work. Not as a co-worker, oh no, that would be too easy (there is a non-dating co-worker rule remember) but as an assistant working for our partner non-profit.... Insanely cute, seriously intense, passionate about books. Going to be here today and next Friday and maybe for awhile longer who knows.

Christ.

O mi Gawd!

CP knows "Confident Cutie" - one of the first boys I "met" on the List! They work together. She was telling him about the gal she co-parents with and got to thinking "Hmmmm, he's single, she's single... maybe I'll just see what I can arrange!" and pulled up my friendster profile which (natch) he'd already memorized!! Wow. World=freaking small sometimes. (Man, I'm really glad it didn't go any further than e-mail. Can you imagine us actually swapping stories over a mocha and me going on and on about the trials and tribs of shared parenting (!!) In fact, I have to go right now and make sure none of the others is anywhere close to my immediate circle of anything!

This just in...!!!

Well, not "JUST" since the news was left in the comments section of this blog close to a week ago but NEWS TO ME -- Mistah Lovah-Lovah is coming back!!!!! I am so excited I cannot stand myself (realizing of course, that this new development begs the question: "Now who are we going to stay with when we're in LA on the 10th??" but again -- I am willing to graciously overlook any personal put-outness to myself and my chicks in order to unabashedly welcome back with open arms the GodUncle with the mostest, the one, the only (thank God!) Mistah L-L!

Week-end was GRAND!

We had a potluck at the Spark's Daycare which was excellent (I don't know what they do to chicken to make it literally slide off the bone, dip itself in some amazing dripping stuff and actually walk into your mouth but damn... Some fine a** BB-Q at that place. Then off to Boo's class which is going SPLENDIDLY. Finally we ended at a sleep-over type deal with the Rockstar and her mom... all-in-all an impressively full day.

Then, on Sunday i was uber cranky (I'm blaming my hormones because I don't feel like blaming the alcohol -- Ha! KIDDING!!) and the kids were tired/sick of me but within all of that we still managed to salvage a bit of a visit to CP's house (where we watched the second season of the Baby Snatching Dingoes on VHS! Can I just say, "Gansta-Robics"? "Double D Dating Service"?? -- my GOD we were funny once! {sigh} ah well... We ended at home being civil to each other/counting the minutes until bedtime but again, it all sort of ended with kisses and squishy hugs so no real complaints from this corner.

For those of you interested in how the dating is going: the final tally stands at 2 very nice boys who I find very interesting while not exactly "my type" but who I also wouldn't mind being e-mail pals with, 1 child who it kills me to even think about but who I will probably end up in bed with at some point and 1 gentleman who I am attracted to, who I think is attracted to me and who I like writing to but who (inexplicably) has announced that he wants "to get to know each other as friends" before we decide whether or not to jump each other's bones...(!!) I know! Well, actually, I don't but whatever. I guess I can actually see what he's really like before we sleep together but really, on some level it does seem like it's soooo not the best use of the time we have together. :-]

{sniff!}

So, whose littlest girl today informed me that she needs a "tootbush" for "class", a request which i thought nothing of until I arrived at her Day Care center and was informed that Yes, in fact, her group will be moving to potty-training and toothbrushing (NO idea how these are related but then again, I am not a professional now am I??) and that she does need to bring a toothbrush, toothpaste and a cup(!!) Wait. Wasn't she 13 months old like THREE seconds ago...?

Other stuff I did today

1)Went and submitted passport applications for/got passport pics taken of me and the baby

2)Ran into really beautiful girl who I used to know/who used be best buddies with the girl who took care of the Boo when she was tiny -- and whose name COMPLETELY escaped me. She remembered mine though. Natch.

3)Had my car battery die/waited for an hour for the nice AAA man to come relace it. (I was lucky actually. It died after I dropped off the babies at their various schools....)

4)Bought my 8-year-old a pair of pants that have the words "blah, blah, blah...!" across the rear pocket

5)Bought the world's prettiest pink shirt for my darling friend Bee.

6)Bought a bagel from a woman who I've not seen in five years and who (also) remembered my name [ed. note: I SUCK]...

7)Consulted with IHOEL re: complete uselessness of cavorting with people who are closer in age to your child than they are to you. (Received some really very good advice which I disregarded almost immediately, and finally...)

8)Made a pact with the devil re: "just one more date with cute friend of DB" which will probably involve karaoke (!!)

Cougars? In Oakland??

Right, so "dating boys" is mostly done and... the only one I'm interested in getting horizontal with is the "baby". Nice. What in the grand holy heavens is wrong with me?

impromptu visits ROCK!

Yay, Mistah L-L up from the land of the Angels and popping in to see us/watch the Boo be GREAT in her capoeria class! We {heart} you almost as much as we {heart} that sweetie wife of yours. Yay, yay, yay! :-]

Random updates...

o.K. first the exciting stuff -- WHO is taking a cruise with her two beautiful daughters to Baja in approximately 4 weeks???? Um, that's gonna be ME! I don't care what anyone else says about the government -- doing my taxes has always been gut to me! Now, then, what else...

Dating continues to go well(-ish). Meeting third/last cute shy seeming boy on Monday for lunch and I think that's it for awhile. I mean, these guys are all really nice and fun-seeming and everything but I'm just not finding anyone who makes me think it'd be more fun to hang out with them late at night than it would be to, oh, I don't know... SLEEP. Actually, that's not entirely true but it's definitely not turning out to be "soul-mate-ville" out there on The List (Current exception being this one guy who I actually -- against all reason/well most reason -- suddenly decided I like ALOT but who has since informed me that he is otherwise engaged. Ha! figures.) I'll provide some sort of summary of this after I've gone through all the potentials but for now I'm just sort of looking for it to be over. (See, this is why I make a lousy straight girl -- No "stick-to-it-tive-ness!"

The Texans are back together, speaking to me again and seem to be doing fine. Not that I care but sometimes it's nice to know I have a place to stay if I'm ever in... where the hell are you people living?? Austin??? Anyways... glad that got straightened out. Moving on.

Work is good. Our department is getting a hell of alot done (mostly because we're being allowed to do what we want instead of being allowed to say what we want then having everyone nod/ignore the request/get mad when things break. so that's good. I'm tired all the time but I think it's an iron deficiency (Yeah, right.)

My about-to-be-three-year-old just wandered in here to cover my elbow with kisses which is just adorable no matter how you look at it! And wet. But the good kind of wet. Oops! she's off to go watch her sister Go Potty. She's obsessed. Which is good in the grand scheme of things although the tiniest bit disconcerting if you're about to settle in for a nice magazine read and you look up suddenly to find a two foot tall, chocolate baby person staring at you intently with TP in hand waiting for you to freaking finish already so she can "wipe" your knee and handle the flushing duties. Ah. Good times.

And lastly, It would seem that my sweet and wonderful BBQ has decided she needs to be on the opposite side of the country from me for a few weeks. I'm nowhere near o.k. with this but I'm willing to entertain the idea only because she deserves the break. Hope your trip is restful and fun BBQ. I'll jot down all the useless crap I need to tell you and just read you the list when you get back. Plan on a coupla hour session at least...

Going twice...

Man, there are some really very sweet boys out there. 2nd Date went fine. Cute boy from India by way of Ottawa, Canada... Can i JUST take a moment here to ask what I think is a really very relevant question?

WHY is it that I can have coffee with a boy and have them think "Hmmm. Attractive, funny, smart, etc., etc. I think I'll ask her out again, maybe try to get into her pants." whereas coffee with a girl inevitably ends with her thinking: "Hmmm. Attractive, funny, smart, etc., etc. RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!"

Sorry. Just needed to get that out there.

in other news

If you're ever on Friendster or MySpace or any of the million other people-finding-people sites and you happen across this 27 year old



Flee! Women and Children, first, GO GO GO! :-]

Ha! O.K. one more from the bunch. Here are my two favorite Texans at their prom:



awwwwwww!

Awwwww! Look who kissed and made up!



{Mwah} I heart you guys and I wish you all the best. (Just promise me you'll stay put -- Angel-honey, MAKE THEM STAY OUT THERE WITH YOU...)

did I mention I have a paper due on Thursday and I have not yet read the book...?

One down...

Date with sweet shy boy (SSB) was had. Although, I do have to, in all fairness, point out that,really, he's not all that shy, just more unassuming. Very nice get-together (also very short -- I had a meeting run long and so had to rush to the appointed place and arrived well after the appointed time) very funny (we've been writing back and forth and I have to say, Dude is on point with the witty rejoinder!) Not exactly "my type" -- if you line up the boys I've been with he's a little shorter, a little rounder, quite a bit less hair -- but still really adorable. Beautiful blue eyes, great smile. I like him. We had a long discussion re the parameters of this connection and he seemed "down"... I think he would slot in nicely with some of the other players in terms of rounding out my ability to fulfill my on-going needs for different kinds of connection. That is if he wants to. It seems like he's agreeable but it also seems like I have no idea how to pick people who are able to like you a whole lot and at the same time not have that translate into having you a whole lot... We'll see though. Maybe this time's a charm...

Going straight = not all it's cracked up to be...!

So, I'm trying to do this straight girl thing, right but sheesh! I'm barely out of the chute and already I'm in processing hell re: "Look, Baby, I get that you don't have time... I mean we're all busy but if you can't shake your life up a little I don't see how this is going to happen!" and "So, you say you want a part-time boyfriend but what it really sounds like you want is someone you can call and hook up with whenever *you* have time...! [ed. note - Uh. YEAH. Pretty much verbatim what I wrote in the ad but let's not dwell on that right this second...] And this is with people I haven't even SEEN yet! Christ on a cracker, what is it with boys?? Speaking of which, NYG escorted his lovely daughter, the RockStar to the Boo's All-Big-Kid-Meet-the-Rats-Party (which, BTW,just ended three minutes ago. FYI: an FAN-tastic time was had by all. Actually, it's pretty funny, the rats themselves are POOPED. I don't think they've had that much attention since ... well, since EVER. They're all sleepy in the cage. Big Cat is all played out too. He's asleep on the couch. V. cute.) NYG and I went to go get the pizza and pretty much almost immediately he starts in on that whole "So, about me and you..." thing which is cute but which is also based on a slightly faulty line of thinking which goes thusly "I have not called this girl in a while. She is looking hot right now. I remember that I like her. I must now apologize for being a bum and not calling because I REALLY like her and if I really like her then she must really like me meaning she's mad because I didn't call." and the thing is, I'mnot mad. I'm rarely mad. I mean it's nice when you do call. Nicer if I can see you anytime around the call but no worries. The odds are REALLY good that if I'm not calling you it's because I've got other things to think about. Again. Let me just say. Boys are wierd. NYG = cute though. And sweet. Anyways... so, the ad. the ad was placed. Responses were received. No penis shots although more than a few guys in front of cars/guys on motorcycles. My favorite was from "luv4currency": "YOU'LL DO> SEND BETTER PIC AND WE CAN DIALOG." Nice. In with the other "promising" responses I also got one super fun sounding way too confident cutie, two nice seeming shy types who "never answer these things" and one (hand-to-god) friend of DB. Confident Cutie and I actually had sort of a falling out (well, I had sort of a falling out with him) because he started getting a all demandey on me and it made me flash back to previous relationship trauma so I kind of think that's not gonna end up going anywhere (at least not anywhere good!); Shy Boy #1 and I are meeting on Tuesday for coffee/to check out each other to see if we feel like kissing and DB2 and I (I KNOW!) are supposed to chat on Wed. but honestly, that too is really seeming stupid in the same way letting the original Brat Pack into the house seemed really dumb so I may just bail. Honestly, it's not like I've got a ton of time to fill so it's not like I couldn't make do with one or two (or three) nice, willing, cute, relatively non-damaged boys provided I can find some who are good with the not suddenly needing to order me around/start getting possessive/demandey on me thing. {sigh}

What I should have said...

Consider the following conversation had between my child and a little girl she considers her "best friend" upon the instance of said "best friend" receiving an invitation to a party my kid is throwing that happens (unfortunately) to fall on the same date as another child's party which "best friend" also wants to go to...

Boo: [handing BF an invite] Here's the invitation. My party is on the Sunday.
BF:You can't have it on Sunday. OG's party is on Sunday.
Boo:Oh.
BF:Have it on another day.
Boo:I can't. I already gave out all the invitations...
BF:So. Tell everyone you're changing it. Make new ones.
Boo:But these took a really long time to make.
BF:That's your fault. You shouldn't have made them so detailed. make new ones that are white. Change the party to next week and make new invitations. I can come next week.

Now, to my Boo's credit, her response to this was:

Boo:no. I don't want to.

And of, course, later when she told me about it, adding that her BF's bossy tone and "bossy-face" had made her feel bad, I responded in an appropriately reasonable, adult manner

Me:Well, then what did you say?
Boo:I said "no." That I already had to move it once but she got mad and walked away.
Me:Hmmm. Well, do you think that's because she felt bad because she really wanted to go to both parties and now it looks like she has to choose?

NOT

Me: [actual response] Hmmm. Well, I think it's mean to try to get you to change just because she wants you to! It's your party. You can have it whenever you want!
Boo:Yeah. Do you think she maybe felt bad because she couldn't come?

Yes, folks, that's the 8-year-old being empathetic not me... God, I'm sucky at this whole "role model" thing...

Sad.

CP has taken Boo to LA for some birthday THING and I miss her. [the Boo, not CP.] Granted they've technically only been gone for approximately 2 hours and 17 minutes but still...

The mix tape...

So, I'm making a hip hop mix tape for my littlest one and I told the big girl I'd make her a tape as well and what bands did she want on it. Her answer "Beatles, Monkees and HalCaliI'd be horrified if the CP and I weren't directly responsible...

Check these out!

http://www.bandshades.com

Now I know the vast majority of you may never feel the need to explain why "flesh" colored band-aids are actually that sort of wierd off-peach color but if you happen to have multi-hued kids who are approaching the 7-8 age, let me tell ya, the subject comes up alot! Do yerself a favor and go get these instead. Sure band-aids that recognize skin tone difference probably aren't gonna save the world or anything but one less bit of potentially-internalized-default/primary/"better"-ethnicitiscm to have to explain away goes a long way in my life!

Meet the Boo!

Ha! so Pretty Boy called last night to "chat" and before he got me, he got the Boo. I know this because I saw her go answer the phone then indulge in quite the lengthy conversation before she hung up, walked into the livingroom and said "Pretty Boy wants you to call him." (!!) I, of course, am dying to know what they discussed onna counta the last time PB interacted with the Boo she was 3 and covered in paint. Plus I know how grown-ups get about her (flustered/silly/possessive - just like I do, only I'm allowed onna counta the stitches and stuff), plus when I called him back he was all "Wow!" and "Man, I had no idea" and "She's ony eight???" This, to me simply points to the fact that all those hours I've spent talking to him about the sheer overall perfection of my children he was not paying attention/thinking about my butt but I can live with that. :-]

In other news, I've got a Fairy Princess here with me in a dress of frothy blue and pink. She's trying to get Boo to dress up in the other (slightly larger, faaaarrrr more frothy) version but Big Sis is pre-occupied with locating a small, stuffed bear named Pirouette whose gone missing.

So, back to Pretty Boy -- When I finally got past all the "Gee, whiz" stuff and we started talking about the lives, he mentioned that he wanted to "talk" more and I got all paranoid like this was yet another version of the "got a new girlfriend/I just not interested in schtupping you anymore" speech but no. He did just want to talk. Hmmm. Talking to the person you sleep with.... Interesting.....

I have no idea what's wrong with me...

I'm tired. I also feeling a little lonely and discontented but I don't know why. Everything in my life is beyond great. I mean, sure, I'd like a little vacation but honestly, I've got nothing to complain about. Must be the weather....

For the record...

DB, this is the second stupidest decision you've ever made.

Now then, who has a 2.5 year old who can count BACKWARDS from 10??? I realize the genetic connection to Magnet brillance is sketchy at best but still, it sure as heck looks like there's another fairly strong strain of genius sprinkled liberally throughout my baby girl's lineage!

To Mistah L-L... What???! Just kidding. I'm gonna call you back, soon. Like today. I've been very busy being very over everything but now I'm better and will return your calls. promise. :-]

Since I was UP anyway, I decided to go to my kid's Valentimes Day party at school -- when I got there, all the kids were dancing around like full-grown maniacs (I swear there's something just a little suspicious about the fact that there are 3rd graders who are taller than me...just sayin'...) and they were singing to the 1985 song and I thought it was so cute having them all yelling about "Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana, there was U2 and Blondie and music still on MTV!" and one of them stops leaping around and says to the other one all serious -like "that's the Madonna that's here now but not old." Eh hem...!

Other big, little girl was also treated to V. Day bag full of goodies plus an ballon that she was so excited about she forgot about the bag of stuff. I just showed it to her again and she got all indignant, like why hadn't I pointed out the chocolate earlier???? Very cute.

Sweet, Sweet, Sweet! From out of the grand state of Tex-ass the beautiful and effervescent OG has seen fit to send us THE nicest box of Velentimes gifties! She sent Boo a Hat/shawl thing, Spark a quilt (a pretty nice one, actually...!) and me a really nice card and a set of pillowcases that say "No Sleepwalking!" all over them which references this HUGELY hilarious joke between the two of us (which prolly wouldn't be half so hilarious to the rest of ya'all so I'll spare you) and which I LOVE! Thank you, Sweetheart! (Almost makes me feel bad that I made you take the boy back... almost. ;-])

Hawaiian Kitty!

Who found the only remaining Hello Hawaii Kitty (Brown!) in the downtown San Francisco area yesterday so she could add it to her kid's V. Day bag today? Quick follow up question: Who's officially THE best parent EVER! Um. Yeah. That would be me.

Conversation had this morning:

Me: Go away
"Ex-Roomie": C'mon...
Me: I'm SICK.
ER: So, that means you're not going to work anyway.
Me: I'm dying!
ER: I'm leaving....
Me: About time.
ER: C'mon...
Me: No!
ER: {leaves room. mumbled phone conversation} Are you gonna drive me or not???
Me: NO! I. am. sick. I am not getting out of this bed!
ER: {standing in doorway looking annoyed -- into phone}... yeah, I should be there about 8:00. O.K. Yeah. O.K. Love you to. Bye. {looking at me}
Me: What?
ER: ...
Me: Jesus, it's not like you couldn't just catch the BART.
ER: ...
Me: Stop it.
ER: ...
Me: aaarrrrgggggg! Fine! FINE! I will drive your lazy ass to the freaking airport. God! What is it with you? Why are you completely incapable of doing anything by yourself or for yourself?? You know, you're a bigger baby than the baby, you know that??? She got up early yesterday, got herself dressed and made herself some breakfast fer chrissakes! When was the last time you did anything for yourself that didn't involve a skateboard, or getting into someone's pants or ---
ER: {smile}
Me: What?!
ER: {hunching down next to the bed, still smiling} Thank you.



Happy Trails, Darlin.' Have a good flight. Give the kids my best -- you can keep what's left over...

Just found out that Jamie Lee Curtis is Jake's God Mother which is just delightful since it pretty much goes without saying that we (Jake and I) will eventually hook up and I've ALWAYS wanted to meet her...!

PLUS, it's got one of the best lines/delivery i think I've ever heard in a "modern movie":

Alma: You know, your friend can come in for coffee if he wants.
Ennis: He's from Texas.
Alma: what. they don't drink coffee in texas?

Brillant! i know, I'm obsessed. i'll stop.

I was all set to go straight too...! Thinking it might be easier to just freaking give in, find some boy and start sharing laundry-duty. Fuckers. Fucking heterosexual-dominated-culture-putting-everyone-into-fucking-boxes-then-fucking-crucifying-them-if-they-try-to-claw-their-way-out, A-holes! eh, hem. sorry. Still a little "affected" by some of the themes in that movie. Back to your regular programming...

the Brokeback bandwagon

O.K. so I finally saw this movie. my god. It was sooooooooo good. I'm almost afraid to write about it because everything I've read so far seems insipid and surfacey sounding. It's like trying to analyze why Lyle is so alluring. I mean you can DO it but it just seems like you either end up taking out all the feeling ("several effective plot devices come into play but the pacing is at times tedious and the ending could use some tightening")or being completely reductionist ("Gay Cowboy movie", "typical love story", "insightful study of what it means to be male in this culture") or sounding sappy ("My own Brokeback mountain happened during Gulf War..."). I don't want to be any of that but at the same time, jeesus, what a great movie. Made me mad but hell, I'd love to see it again!

Vote Magnet in 2016!

So, me and the Little Brother were once again discussing our plans for the Presidency in 2016 [Big Bro in office, me on the sidelines managing "spin", Little Bro = Attorney General and buddy Bo at the UN. We've got a chart and everything!] and we got to talking about walls.

LB:Thing is, you run up against a wall, you need to just stop a minute and figure something else out.
Chick:Yeah, but see, that's just us. Some people don't quite grasp the "wall-ness" of it and they keep running into it thinking it's going to soften up or turn into something else...
LB:Or they ignore it. Act like it doesn't exist...
Chick:Or they decide it's a good thing. Like it's a really great idea to have a wall there and if there wasn't one there for some reason they'd take it upon themselves to build one!
LB:Yeah.
Chick:I'm just sick of it. i just wish people would just walk up to the damn thing and have at it with a freaking jackhammer!
LB:or go around it. No use tearing it down. You could maybe use it for something later. A wall's a wall.
Chick: Hm. I guess....

See. That's why he gets to be AG.

It makes no scents...!

Yes, that's right, 38 years old and reduced to making bad puns. Why, you ask? You Chick -- you of all people, shockingly literate, verbally inclined, redundant without a cause...you??! O.K. sorry. Maybe you're not asking but I'll tell you anyway. Yours truly received in the mail today an adorably wrapped gift from a certain "Store Stylin'" someone in Texas who has decided that if I "am going to be 40 soon" and if I "choose to continue in this life mascarading as a woman" then I need a scent. A scent which this Angel-Boy was good enough to enclose. A scent with which I know not what to do. Now don't get me wrong, I am WELL aware of the effect certain scents can have on the masses -- in fact I have been known to ply certain masses with specially selected scents if only so they can participate (however unwittingly) in my self-delusional-world-filled-with-amazingly-smelling-people-who-actually-talk-to-me behavior... and it's not like the scent in question isn't brillant. It is. I spritzed the teeniest tiniest bit imaginable onto my sleeve and instantly got this insatiable urge to snuggle into my own wrist so I could live there forever. No, it's more a sense of timing. I've never really used scent and unlike makeup/clothes/men I have no idea when is the appropriate time to drag em out of the ole mothballs and go to town. Part of me thinks, save it for a "special occassion" but really, I have two kids, the occasional "20-something/slacker" on my couch and a f-buddy who I only call upon when I'm "spinning"/will DIE without some bodily attention Stat. [ed note. that last bit only makes sense to anyone who's ever tried to conceive using anything other than fresh sweaty man semen but I guarantee you, they are soooo "there with me" right now... eh, hem] so, honestly, what constitutes "special"? Birthday? Passed. Master's? Done. PhD? Not in this lifetime. ANY sort of recognition for all the hard work I'm putting in at the office? Ditto. Ha! (kidding. only not really...) I never go "out" anymore, I'm allergic to dating, it would be highly suspicious if I started showing up to my "independent study" time with my brillant professor awash in an alluring new fragrance... so... what...? Thoughts? suggestions? Is this like brushing my teeth every other morning, should I just go ahead and do it...just because?????

so here's what I just realized. I write. That's what I do. i write e-mail all day at work, I write papers for school, I make shopping lists, compose chatty letters, document what appears to be the better part of my life on this thing yet and still, any time I need a slip of paper (mind you, I am surrounded by already-used paper. Piles of it...!) to jot down a confirmation number or upon which to write a list of movies I wouldn't mind someday owning, I couldn't find a blank piece of scratch paper to save my life. Why is that?????

CONGRATULATIONS, Mistah L-L and the Beautiful K.!!!!!!

Here's wishing the very best to two of the most wonderful people ever to grace the planet -- kudos for finally getting through the nuptial part of your relationship without once again incurring the wrath of the hurricane gods! You guys rock and I am so happy for you. The fact that you not only managed to find each other, like each other and commit to each other astounds me but I'm glad someone managed it. That being said, from this point forward, my faith in the entire institution rests squarely on your honorable shoulders. Try not to let me down.... :-]

Seriously...!

Does anyone have a sexier singing guy voice than Toby Keith???? Um, that's gonna be no -- but what about Lyle? What about George?? While I'll give you that both of these gentlemen have voices to-die-for as well as pretty much corner the market on sheer-brilliance when it comes to composition/delivery (plus Lyle is about as attractive as the law allows in this country) but still... There's something about the way Toby sings "You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands -- I`d still look like a fool in front of your friends"
that makes me just really have to stop whatever it is I'm doing and have a little sit down ...

---

In other news: Took the littlest one to the ENT Specialist yesterday to see about this whole sleep apnea/possibly enlarged adenoids thing she may or may not have going on and while she was brilliant (a complete and total angel throughout the entire 2.25 hours wait!)the doctor we ended up seeing was kind of annoying. He kept saying she needs to clean the "candy" out of her mouth before he could see her tonsils despite the fact that I kept saying "candy? She's not eating candy. Do you mean 'chips'??" which may seem like not that huge an issue but I think it nicely reflects the man's overall inability to HEAR me when I asked about anything else. Waste of time, if you ask me. Next step is a "sleep clinic" where they hook my Baby up to a bunch of electrodes then expect her to sleep (!!) and, in case you're wondering, should the final diagnosis come back as "yes, enlarged adenoids/apenea disorder" then we start talking about "tonscillectomy" which is just soooooo not gonna happen in my world. (I mean if it HAS to it has to but I'm sure as heck am not gonna allow folks to start ripping random bits out of my kid based on "it might help...") Anyway....

mmmmmmmmmm..... sugar...!

I am in a state of hypoglycemic shock brought on by THE WORLD'S BEST M&M cookies which were made pour moi by the very extremely best friend (who, albeit runs a bit tight-lipped with the proffering of info about major life decisions -- at least to me, her best friend, that is. Eh, hem... but super-cool nonetheless!) BBQ and her adorable child. I am so happy and fat right now, I may explode.

So, home at last. For some reason today seemed long.

Consider this conversation had mid-morning with "child" who thinks of mon pad as extra storage:

Person-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless: Hey, are you gonna be home tonight? I gotta pick something up.
Chick: [thinking - Home? Where the hell else am I gonna be on a Monday night. Dope.] Um. I'm not sure, when were you thinking of stopping by?
PWSRN: Dunno. after 11:00 I guess... [That's PM folks! Idiot...!]
Chick:Yeah, I'll be home. I'll be asleep. [idiot.]
PWSRN: in bed...?
Chick: {sigh...} Yes, you degenerate, in bed! Alone. Warm. Comfortable and not about to be awakened by the by some child who suddenly realized he can't live without his guitar pick!
PWSRN:{Sad, drawn out silence...}
Chick: GOD! Alright, you can come get your crap. I'll leave the door unlocked. Do NOT go into any room but the livingroom, do NOT wake up the baby and do NOT take anything out of the refrigerator which you shouldn't even be near as it is not in the livingroom!
PWSRN:{grin} Are you gonna be up?
Chick:Aaaawk!

Now then, considering how completely much I bend over backwards (no double entendres, please) for this inconsiderate prick, imagine, if you will, how I respond to a nice person. A gentleman who has (somewhat inexplicably, granted but to each his/her own) decided that we (he and me) should "date." Who has met me once (at a gathering of adoptive parents and their sprouts. He has three little girls two of which match my Beans ages. They -- the girls, that is -- actually seemed very cool. Too bad their dad does NOTHING for me..) and upon receiving my business card (which, honestly, I thought would send him running for the hills!) has called me numerous times to suggest coffee, outings, playdates, etc.

Nice Guy: Chick?
Chick:Oh. Hi.
Nice Guy: Wow. I'm surprised I caught you. Usually I have to leave a message and wait for you to call back. Ha Ha.
Chick: Uh. Heh. Yeah.
Nice Guy: [after longish pause] So... I was... I mean, I am going to be in the city for a conference thing and I thought we might get together for lunch or coffee or something...
Chick: [fully realizing that no actual dates have been proffered] Hmmmm. I'm going to be pretty busy over the next few weeks. You know, gearing up for Valentine's Day!
Nice Guy: Oh! This is after Valentine's Day.
Chick: Oh. Well, I'm not sure what the "ramp-down" [total made-up word. I am sooooo gonna burn in hell.] time is going to look like... If I get some time, I'll call you. K.?
Nice Guy: Oh. well. o.k. Do you have my number? I didn't know because you haven't actually returned any of my calls...
Chick: Yeah, I have it somewhere. Oop! I think I'm getting paged. Gotta go!
Nice Guy: K. Well, maybe I'll see y-
Chick: Bye! [click]

Karmically, I'm in for it, right?

Like a fine wine...

I go well with fish! No wait. I mean, I get better with age!

Can I just say, I'm a HUGE fan of songs with the word "Baby" in them (and if it's got the word baby and it's by a certain Lyle Lovett I pretty much become a puddle of mush that must be immediately mopped into some sort of container lest some of the more important bits go missing! eh, hem.. sorry, where was I?) and since yesterday (which was my actual Birthday Proper) SUCKED (entirely due to work concerns. My friends and family and babies were unbelievably sweet actually) I found it necessary to spend a significant amount of time compiling an mp3 list of Baby-songs so I could better drown out the cacophony of "Can you explain these numbers...???!" Crap I was getting from other corners. In doing so, I realized that one of the best lines i've heard so far is: "It's alright, Baby, if I hurry I can still make Cheyenne..." crooned by the one, the only Mr. George Straight which is just cool sounding in general but in context -- well suffice to say, it pretty much rips your heart out... The second best usage comes from a song about the Revolutionary War (lyrics by Sarah Vowell. Music written and performed by Marah) and which goes thusly: "George Washington and the Marquis de Lafayette, grinned a 'Baby, it's cold outside' duet. Your hands are like ice said the Marquis to George and that was Christmas at Valley Forge!" Eh hem. Sorry. moving on.

Went this last week-end to check out a Capoeria class for the Big Girl. Super cool place. Seems like fun. She's gonna have her first class this Sat. so we'll see how she likes it.

Little big kid told me something was "cute" last night. Are we all aware how very adorable it is to have a cute litle person telling you in a v. serious voice that something else is cute???? I pretty much just died.

Recently past birthdays which I would now like to give shout-outs to include the wonderful, fabulous, fantastic Lily-Bee Cheers, Chicka, to the best 5 year old on the planet! and to the ever supportive and splendiferous (not to mention highly amusing!) Abby-Tail who I LOVE and who I wish all the best things in the entire world upon.

Lastly, private shout-out to the CP's GalPal for just being a general all-round decent person and for taking such careful care of my Boo. Thank you. You may not realize it but your continued existence in all our lives makes my row so much easier to hoe. ;-]

My Life. abridged.

School starts. tomorrow.
the Boo got rats (2. v. cute.)
Mom. impromptu visit yesterday. On way home from thailand.
Work = Sucky and annoying (and based on inaccurate data, besides!)
Dreams of ex being sweet. (She was pretty sweet in real life too, jsut super mondo-sah-weet in the dreams... Disturbing but nice.)
Dirty Boy back in town. on my couch.
Sleep. A distant fantasy of mine. may happen some day. Not holding breath.
38th Birthday in 5 days! Whoo Hoo! {sigh}

that's it really. more later when I'm less tired.

TMI...

I have a grey/white hair growing out of my "private area"!! I'm not going to bore you with the details regarding how I came to know this. Nor will I dwell on the conversation that ensued once this pronouncement was delivered -- let's just say a certain amount of "mood" was broken. Eh hem. Anyway. Other than that one tiny reminder of my eminent date with DEATH, Vegas trip was grand. Pretty Boy was/is cute (as always) and brought one of the most beautiful Silver-grey Armani suits I think I've ever seen which he was good enough to put on and model for me before we left for the show so I could get all delighted about how freaking GORGEOUS he is sometimes... (speaking of which, were we aware that there's such a thing as "Armani Babi" -- Can you imagine dropping $543.00 on some adorable little Tibetan wool cap that is going to actually grace the Baby in question's head for 15-20 minutes before it is tossed to the ground and trampled by the Union Square crowds? I don't care what anyone says; there is such a thing as too much money. Anyway.) Show was O.K. I hate to say that about a Cirque show because I. LOVE. Cirque du Soleil shows. But I have to say... I think this one was trying to do a bunch of stuff it had no business doing mostly because of its easily shocked, middle America audience -- it couldn't really do the subject matter extremely well or better than any other Vegas sex show so instead they tried to wrap some sex (very little) into some Cirque (again not so much) with a dash of story thrown in at the start and an actually funny set of clowns in the middle... not horrible but given that I KNOW they can be brillant, a little disappointing...

The AVN show was interesting as well. Lots of large bosoms and fake tans. Porn stars are freaking TINY. I keep forgetting that.

Happy New Year, BTW. I hope each and every one of you has a year that is amazing and fruitful and fun! I love you all and wish you the best life has to offer... {Big smooch from me to you -- right on the kisser!}

Lalala!

Pretty Boy:When do I get to see you?
Me:Dunno. I'm in Vegas this week-end at a tradeshow...
Pretty Boy:I could come to Vegas.
Me: K.
Me: We should go see a show.
Pretty Boy: K.
Pretty Boy: We should go shopping first.
Me: K.

Gawd. I must have been a freaking saint in another life!

Crossing the line

Before I begin this post, I would first like to take a moment to state for the record that I blame my parents for all of this. Half-hearted, liberal upbringing/absentee parenting!!!

Having said that, I must now admit that... I am infatuated with a teen-ager. Not a "figurative teen-ager" but an actual one. A cute, fresh-faced boy-child who teaches at my kid's camp and who literally is closer by 10 years to her age than he is to mine. Today when I went to pick her up, he was doing a crossword puzzle with her and I . got. jealous.

I should be taken out and shot.

Ah, yeah...

Who got "A"s in both of her classes this semester? Um. that's gonna be ME! Whoo Hoo! Did I mention that I'm embarking on my LAST semester of coursework this spring? Still terrified of that as a concept but at the same time, feeling alot better given the new "all-As!" status. :-]

Happy Holidays!

That's right. I said "Happy Holidays!" Because I do actually care that people with different belief systems are shorted this time of year and no, I do not think being sensitive to that fact is the same as being "all PC about everything!" so there....

Now then. Christmas was fabulous at the Chick house! Lots of time spent on the couch because one of us (me) is sick and dying but otherwise, all goodness and light. the X-mas eve was spent with the co-parent and didn't exactly turn out the way I'd hoped but, whatever. I've escaped relatively unscathed and it could have been (MUCH) worse so....

Conversations with the kids:

Boo: You know what I realized? I realized it is better to give than to receive because you always get something back when you give something!
Chick: [lips all pinched, poised to lecture] Well... that's not exactly the point... What sorts of things do you get...?
Boo: Well, you at least get a "Thank you!"
chick: [lips unpinching, getting all misty] You're a great kid.
Boo: I know.

Chick: [To 2.5 year old who is requesting that we watch the Incredibles for the ninth time in two days] We're not having videos right now. We're playing with our new presents.
Spark: No! [stamps foot] No, Mommy! Stop!
Chick: [Taken aback since i'm in the kitchen and nowhere near child in question] What am I doing??
Boo: [reasonably] You're making her mad.
Chick: [to Spark] You want me to stop making you mad?
Spark: Yes.
Chick: If I stop making you mad will you stop making me mad?
Boo: [discusted with me] Mom. Do you really think she understands that?
Chick: [to Boo] She might. Besides, how come I'm the one who has to stop? How come she doesn't stop?
Boo: [Rolling eyes -- I have no idea why she puts up with me] Um. Because she's TWO.

And lastly, went to go see this movie yesterday with my 8 y.o., the Rock Star and her fabulous mom. Brillant! Beautiful. Not too scary for a coupla of sappy adults and their far more mature childruns. i'd say "a must-see!"

Finger knitting!

Have we heard of this? My kid came home last night and in the span of about an hour turned a skein of yarn into a narrow knitted chain using her fingers. She learned how to do it at school from a friend and turned around and showed all the kids at her winter camp how to finger-knit. I'm amazed. not that she knows how to do it or that there's this little skill that kids go around teaching each other and that they cn almost instantly do remarkably well, but that it seems so primal. I mean, you look at those intricately woven Hopi baskets that were braided 1,000 years ago and for the first time it occurs to me that maybe some little kids had a hand in making them. Anyway. It's fascinating to watch and to think about. Random bits of craft knowledge that perpetuate themselves throughout history. I think that's neat.

In other news, my 2 year old has started pointing out things she likes: planes that go fast, cars which are going fast, motorcycles going fast, going downhill fast, rollercoasters... you get the point. Basically, it is occuring to me that I'm either going to be out at the slopes or over at the racetrack cheering this litle one on since there's no way in H*** she's going to be happy with a life where she's not actively trying to kill herself on a daily basis. So long as it's not skydiving I think I'll be o.k....

LaLaLa...!

Home with a feverish child -- fun, fun, fun! Although, I have to say as far as sick kids go, this one is really being quite good. Sure she's had her occassional cranky-as-hell, "my eyes are hot!" moments but all in all, I think she's being quite the trooper. She's currently having her nap so I'm switching my parenting abilities to dealing with vendors (seriously, I think the one thing in my life that's made it so that I am able to survive in the corporate world is the fact that having children has given me some insight into two-year-old behavior. the only difference would be that my kids will eventually grow out of whatever phase they're in that's driving me crazy. Our HP support... not so much!)

Anyways. Was not able to attend the nutcracker yesterday due to aforementioned little kid unhappiness but was assured by my lovely and talented 8 year old who DID go that the performance was "GREAT!" Thanks to the Bee family for not only coming up with the idea but for also making it so the big girl didn't have to sit all by herself!

Man, that was fun!

I have finally realized that the trick to having fun at these things is to 1) have NO expectations whatsoever 2) wear lots of fake hair 3) leave when the used-to-be-crush-but-now-just-bitterness-inducing person shows up. Seriously, last night had to have been one of the nicest party-going experiences I've had in recent years. Huge plus, would also be inviting the BBQ because, let's face it, when all is said and done there aren't alot of people who clean up as nicely as that little lady! ;-]

DONE!

I'm finished with my finals!!!!!! I am so stoked about that, I. may. die.

Whew.

Now then.

Sorry I disappeared. Work is a little tricky right this second but it's getting better. All the major stupid issues are being resolved with the website -- now all that remains are the tiny annoying ones... Anyway. Final papers are done (possibly not done well but i am past caring at this point.) GV party is coming up and it will be a freaking hoot! e-mail me if anyone needs tickets. The theme is Back to High School and i'm channeling Beyonce for my character inspiration this year. Quickie special shout out to Travelin' man whose phone number I have written on a post-it at work and whom I will call at some point soon (promise) because it's been simply eons and lunch with an old friend who might be able to tell me the password to my freaking wireless DSL account is always something to look foreward to!

Speaking of forward... as if the party is not excitement enough, on Sundee me and the Scoot and the Bee and her eldest are going to see the Nutcracker! i know! I'd be jealous if it wasn't me who was going!! (This particular outing, BTW, was made possible by the always dapper and amazingly cute IHOEL who will be sheparding the tiny ones whilst we big kids go lap up some culture...so a big THANKS to that esteemed personage as well!) Anyway, just wanted to check in sos everyone knows i'm still alive. I'm gonna go put a baby to bed and just possibly crawl into the sack myself so.... kisses to all and to all a good night!

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...!

Happy floaty Chick.

K. off to Bah-stan. Wish me luck!

excited!

I have a "date" tonight! I have a date with an old friend who I haven't seen in awhile and who has just (again) joined the pool of disillusioned-single-persons-who-don't-really-see-the-point and we've been discussing this whole "dating" thing and trying to figure out why it's so wierd and so we're going to go on a "date." We're going to act like we met through Craigslist -- I'm going to pretend I hate my job and that I'm straight and want to get married someday. He's going to try to be a little more "college guy" who ended up in tech... :-] Plus, there's a very real chance that I'm going to "get some" which is always nice! Yay! I like my friends.

Speaking of which, I miss my buddies. I was fortunate enough to hang with the fantastiolistic IHOEL for a cup o joe on Friday and while it was about the most fun I had that day it also made me really miss my peeps. So then. New Year's rsolution in November. Find/call/write my friends. the ones I like. Not the ones I could care less for yet spend all day on the phone with becuase I need something from them or they need something from me. The other ones. The ones I enjoy talking with because they're actually interesting and cute and make me feel like the world is populated with thinking, rational, good-hearted people. Those friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cliche, yes but heartfelt nontheless! I would like to take a moment to thank whomever is responsible for all of this for giving me such a great life. Thank you for my amazing friends, for my perfect children, for my wonderful family, for my really great job and for allowing me to live a life in which I have access to pretty much every single thing I need to be happy and content 99.998% of the time. ( Now then. First there's this. Not that it's in any way done (the search, for instance, routinely returns "0" items even if you type in exact names and/or item numbers...) but it's live, goddamit which means I can start sleeping nights instead of testing, bug-fixing, planning, composing freaked out e-mails, worrying, scarfing kit kats like they're going out of style etc. etc. etc. Whew. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see something "done". Speaking of done. It just occured to me yesterday as I was signing up for my next semester's classes that THIS IS MY LAST SEMESTER OF CLASSES!!!!!!!! At the end of this semester I am through with coursework. I am supposed to know, write down and defend my dissertation topic. I am supposed to have a plan in place for conducting experiments on unsuspecting human subjects. I am supposed to be well into my lit review. i am supposed to be buckling down and writing on a daily basis in a thought-out, informed way on what will eventually be my freaking disertation! WTF????? Who got me into this mess and where the hell are they now?

In other news, I'm being sent to Boston on Monday for a few days by the GM. Not sure why I'm going. I suspect it may be because everyone else actually does work/is indispensible but who knows. I hear it's 13 degrees out there. Nice.

Like family... almost.

So, things are still insane but some cool things just happened and I felt the need to document so...

1) the agency who was handling Spark's foster care/our adoption just sent me a book. Not a "how-to rulebook" or "an update on your child's benefits" kind of book but a book about adoption told from the child's point of view with an accompanying letter thanking me for being a part of the process. How sweet is that???

2) We're trying a new social experiment here at the house wherein I say to Spark right before she goes to sleep "Do you want milk?" which is her cue to yell "No!" because milk means sleep and she doesn't want sleep. Once she's in bed -- sleep having happened regardless of milk-age, she then demands that milk which, in the past I have sort of sighed and given. Then, I thought, nope. She says no, that means no. So the last few days I've asked and she's said "no" and I've not given her milk despite repeated in-bed requests and tears and sobbing and whatnot. Tonight I said "Do you want your milk?" and she said "No!" Then I said, "remember how yesterday you said no and then got sad because you couldn't have any? Now think about this. Do you want your milk or not?" to which she replied "No milk...! After books. Milk." (!!) I know, my "victories" may seem small but still. At this point I'll take what I can get!

3) my favorite professor just found out she gets to stay at Mills and be an actual tenure track full-time staff member! Funny because she's been there for two years doing wonderfully yet still they felt the need to put her through this insanely grueling interview process (even flying in two other candidates to go up against her.) anyway... Congrats Prof. K. You rule!!

{sigh} Kill me now...

On the bright side, I hear that if I survive next week I'll have officially obtained the exalted level of "red samurai"!

laLaLa!

My big brother is coming into town this week-end! yay! o.k. back to testing...

Va-ca-tion all I ever wanted...!

I'm back my pretties! And yes, I had a GREAT time. Miss my littlest one like nobodies bid-ness but rumour has it I will be retrieving her from her G-ma's tonight so s-all good... Pets survived in my absence thanks to the ministrations of GEG who i SWEAR I am going to stop pining over any day now. House is clean (er) thanks to having just the one child at home on Sundee (the big girl super helpful "now let's clean the fishtank!" one)... As far as work goes... well, I'm actually trying to get back on top of the various ish-hoos that occurred in mon abseence so I'll actually be having to get back to it but just thought I'd check in real quick to let ch'all know I'm not dead. More later, promise!

Slowly I turn...

Ha! Just wanted to write that actually. Quick shout out to the Bee clan who were gracious enough to provide a reason to get my children dressed up in cutie costumes and out marching around the town on Sunday. Good times! Not too mention the sheer "it outta be illegal" adorability of the little Bee princess/fairies!!

Then last night, still more trickin' (because, by now the baby is a PRO -- seriously she was "peasin'" and "tank yu-in'" all over the place!) which was a-dorable and finally home for sleeping in (!!) because aforementioned littlest has a check-up this morning and I have finally gotten to understand that I don't have to try to plan these things so I don't actually miss any work at all... mmmmm. coffee. sitting watching the baby for a minute. writing to you all. nice.

Weird mood...

That is entirely related to work so not that weird really... I have a "scratch on my cornea" which was making the vision in one of my eyes all blurry/freaking me out yesterday because I thought it was a tumor or something (!!) Upon visiting my nice Optometrist, Dr. Michael Jackson (I KNOW!) over on Broadway, however, I was disabused of that belief, yelled at (again) about my inability to get my lazy-ass self to an opthamologist to get my "possibly glaucomatic" condition checked out and instructed to buy "smaller" frames that "actually fit my face." What is it about me that the world thinks it gets to boss me around?? Anyway. (that last statement was ENTIRELY untrue, BTW. I am often a little taken aback by the fact that the world actually leaves me mostly alone most of the time -- even going out of it's way to occasionally cross the street and avoiding eye contact when it sees me coming...)

In other news, the much looked forward to nuptials of the world's best God-Uncle to the Boo, Mistah L-L to his nubian queen K. have been postponed due to "acts of god" which, given that the cermony itself was supposed to represent one of those, I'm not sure what to make of but... I will leave that to the theologians in the crowd and instead report the upshot -- that being that I will not be going to Mexico to sit around on a sandy beach and quaff fruity drinks any time soon. No worries though! The wedding has been re-scheduled so 1) I can rest assured that this isn't some elaborate ruse cooked up by the primary parties to explain away some sudden dislike for each other/the whole archaic institution and 2) I didn't wanna go anyway...!jk.

This morning as I walked the Boo to school one of her second grade acquaintances marched up to me and announced "I'm going to be catwoman!" "Great!" I responded before thinking "Oh! You mean for halloween!" Aforementioned child then inquired "Are you gay?" Causing her mother to DIE right there on the playground. I, of course offered up a "Yup, Sure am!" Before making extended eyecontact with her red-faced mom and grinning like a crazy lady. Ha! Seriously. Kids are great. How the hell do we turn them into such incredibly screwed up adults???

Pretty boy is back from Tahiti and has agreed to treat me to lots of fully illustrated stories for which I cannot wait!

And lastly, quick shout-out to BBQ who although she probably knows it not, is, I am positive, going to be one of the small handful of reasons I do not completely abandon grad school... Anyway.