mmmmmmmmmm..... sugar...!

I am in a state of hypoglycemic shock brought on by THE WORLD'S BEST M&M cookies which were made pour moi by the very extremely best friend (who, albeit runs a bit tight-lipped with the proffering of info about major life decisions -- at least to me, her best friend, that is. Eh, hem... but super-cool nonetheless!) BBQ and her adorable child. I am so happy and fat right now, I may explode.

So, home at last. For some reason today seemed long.

Consider this conversation had mid-morning with "child" who thinks of mon pad as extra storage:

Person-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless: Hey, are you gonna be home tonight? I gotta pick something up.
Chick: [thinking - Home? Where the hell else am I gonna be on a Monday night. Dope.] Um. I'm not sure, when were you thinking of stopping by?
PWSRN: Dunno. after 11:00 I guess... [That's PM folks! Idiot...!]
Chick:Yeah, I'll be home. I'll be asleep. [idiot.]
PWSRN: in bed...?
Chick: {sigh...} Yes, you degenerate, in bed! Alone. Warm. Comfortable and not about to be awakened by the by some child who suddenly realized he can't live without his guitar pick!
PWSRN:{Sad, drawn out silence...}
Chick: GOD! Alright, you can come get your crap. I'll leave the door unlocked. Do NOT go into any room but the livingroom, do NOT wake up the baby and do NOT take anything out of the refrigerator which you shouldn't even be near as it is not in the livingroom!
PWSRN:{grin} Are you gonna be up?
Chick:Aaaawk!

Now then, considering how completely much I bend over backwards (no double entendres, please) for this inconsiderate prick, imagine, if you will, how I respond to a nice person. A gentleman who has (somewhat inexplicably, granted but to each his/her own) decided that we (he and me) should "date." Who has met me once (at a gathering of adoptive parents and their sprouts. He has three little girls two of which match my Beans ages. They -- the girls, that is -- actually seemed very cool. Too bad their dad does NOTHING for me..) and upon receiving my business card (which, honestly, I thought would send him running for the hills!) has called me numerous times to suggest coffee, outings, playdates, etc.

Nice Guy: Chick?
Chick:Oh. Hi.
Nice Guy: Wow. I'm surprised I caught you. Usually I have to leave a message and wait for you to call back. Ha Ha.
Chick: Uh. Heh. Yeah.
Nice Guy: [after longish pause] So... I was... I mean, I am going to be in the city for a conference thing and I thought we might get together for lunch or coffee or something...
Chick: [fully realizing that no actual dates have been proffered] Hmmmm. I'm going to be pretty busy over the next few weeks. You know, gearing up for Valentine's Day!
Nice Guy: Oh! This is after Valentine's Day.
Chick: Oh. Well, I'm not sure what the "ramp-down" [total made-up word. I am sooooo gonna burn in hell.] time is going to look like... If I get some time, I'll call you. K.?
Nice Guy: Oh. well. o.k. Do you have my number? I didn't know because you haven't actually returned any of my calls...
Chick: Yeah, I have it somewhere. Oop! I think I'm getting paged. Gotta go!
Nice Guy: K. Well, maybe I'll see y-
Chick: Bye! [click]

Karmically, I'm in for it, right?

Like a fine wine...

I go well with fish! No wait. I mean, I get better with age!

Can I just say, I'm a HUGE fan of songs with the word "Baby" in them (and if it's got the word baby and it's by a certain Lyle Lovett I pretty much become a puddle of mush that must be immediately mopped into some sort of container lest some of the more important bits go missing! eh, hem.. sorry, where was I?) and since yesterday (which was my actual Birthday Proper) SUCKED (entirely due to work concerns. My friends and family and babies were unbelievably sweet actually) I found it necessary to spend a significant amount of time compiling an mp3 list of Baby-songs so I could better drown out the cacophony of "Can you explain these numbers...???!" Crap I was getting from other corners. In doing so, I realized that one of the best lines i've heard so far is: "It's alright, Baby, if I hurry I can still make Cheyenne..." crooned by the one, the only Mr. George Straight which is just cool sounding in general but in context -- well suffice to say, it pretty much rips your heart out... The second best usage comes from a song about the Revolutionary War (lyrics by Sarah Vowell. Music written and performed by Marah) and which goes thusly: "George Washington and the Marquis de Lafayette, grinned a 'Baby, it's cold outside' duet. Your hands are like ice said the Marquis to George and that was Christmas at Valley Forge!" Eh hem. Sorry. moving on.

Went this last week-end to check out a Capoeria class for the Big Girl. Super cool place. Seems like fun. She's gonna have her first class this Sat. so we'll see how she likes it.

Little big kid told me something was "cute" last night. Are we all aware how very adorable it is to have a cute litle person telling you in a v. serious voice that something else is cute???? I pretty much just died.

Recently past birthdays which I would now like to give shout-outs to include the wonderful, fabulous, fantastic Lily-Bee Cheers, Chicka, to the best 5 year old on the planet! and to the ever supportive and splendiferous (not to mention highly amusing!) Abby-Tail who I LOVE and who I wish all the best things in the entire world upon.

Lastly, private shout-out to the CP's GalPal for just being a general all-round decent person and for taking such careful care of my Boo. Thank you. You may not realize it but your continued existence in all our lives makes my row so much easier to hoe. ;-]

My Life. abridged.

School starts. tomorrow.
the Boo got rats (2. v. cute.)
Mom. impromptu visit yesterday. On way home from thailand.
Work = Sucky and annoying (and based on inaccurate data, besides!)
Dreams of ex being sweet. (She was pretty sweet in real life too, jsut super mondo-sah-weet in the dreams... Disturbing but nice.)
Dirty Boy back in town. on my couch.
Sleep. A distant fantasy of mine. may happen some day. Not holding breath.
38th Birthday in 5 days! Whoo Hoo! {sigh}

that's it really. more later when I'm less tired.

TMI...

I have a grey/white hair growing out of my "private area"!! I'm not going to bore you with the details regarding how I came to know this. Nor will I dwell on the conversation that ensued once this pronouncement was delivered -- let's just say a certain amount of "mood" was broken. Eh hem. Anyway. Other than that one tiny reminder of my eminent date with DEATH, Vegas trip was grand. Pretty Boy was/is cute (as always) and brought one of the most beautiful Silver-grey Armani suits I think I've ever seen which he was good enough to put on and model for me before we left for the show so I could get all delighted about how freaking GORGEOUS he is sometimes... (speaking of which, were we aware that there's such a thing as "Armani Babi" -- Can you imagine dropping $543.00 on some adorable little Tibetan wool cap that is going to actually grace the Baby in question's head for 15-20 minutes before it is tossed to the ground and trampled by the Union Square crowds? I don't care what anyone says; there is such a thing as too much money. Anyway.) Show was O.K. I hate to say that about a Cirque show because I. LOVE. Cirque du Soleil shows. But I have to say... I think this one was trying to do a bunch of stuff it had no business doing mostly because of its easily shocked, middle America audience -- it couldn't really do the subject matter extremely well or better than any other Vegas sex show so instead they tried to wrap some sex (very little) into some Cirque (again not so much) with a dash of story thrown in at the start and an actually funny set of clowns in the middle... not horrible but given that I KNOW they can be brillant, a little disappointing...

The AVN show was interesting as well. Lots of large bosoms and fake tans. Porn stars are freaking TINY. I keep forgetting that.

Happy New Year, BTW. I hope each and every one of you has a year that is amazing and fruitful and fun! I love you all and wish you the best life has to offer... {Big smooch from me to you -- right on the kisser!}

Lalala!

Pretty Boy:When do I get to see you?
Me:Dunno. I'm in Vegas this week-end at a tradeshow...
Pretty Boy:I could come to Vegas.
Me: K.
Me: We should go see a show.
Pretty Boy: K.
Pretty Boy: We should go shopping first.
Me: K.

Gawd. I must have been a freaking saint in another life!

Crossing the line

Before I begin this post, I would first like to take a moment to state for the record that I blame my parents for all of this. Half-hearted, liberal upbringing/absentee parenting!!!

Having said that, I must now admit that... I am infatuated with a teen-ager. Not a "figurative teen-ager" but an actual one. A cute, fresh-faced boy-child who teaches at my kid's camp and who literally is closer by 10 years to her age than he is to mine. Today when I went to pick her up, he was doing a crossword puzzle with her and I . got. jealous.

I should be taken out and shot.

Ah, yeah...

Who got "A"s in both of her classes this semester? Um. that's gonna be ME! Whoo Hoo! Did I mention that I'm embarking on my LAST semester of coursework this spring? Still terrified of that as a concept but at the same time, feeling alot better given the new "all-As!" status. :-]

Happy Holidays!

That's right. I said "Happy Holidays!" Because I do actually care that people with different belief systems are shorted this time of year and no, I do not think being sensitive to that fact is the same as being "all PC about everything!" so there....

Now then. Christmas was fabulous at the Chick house! Lots of time spent on the couch because one of us (me) is sick and dying but otherwise, all goodness and light. the X-mas eve was spent with the co-parent and didn't exactly turn out the way I'd hoped but, whatever. I've escaped relatively unscathed and it could have been (MUCH) worse so....

Conversations with the kids:

Boo: You know what I realized? I realized it is better to give than to receive because you always get something back when you give something!
Chick: [lips all pinched, poised to lecture] Well... that's not exactly the point... What sorts of things do you get...?
Boo: Well, you at least get a "Thank you!"
chick: [lips unpinching, getting all misty] You're a great kid.
Boo: I know.

Chick: [To 2.5 year old who is requesting that we watch the Incredibles for the ninth time in two days] We're not having videos right now. We're playing with our new presents.
Spark: No! [stamps foot] No, Mommy! Stop!
Chick: [Taken aback since i'm in the kitchen and nowhere near child in question] What am I doing??
Boo: [reasonably] You're making her mad.
Chick: [to Spark] You want me to stop making you mad?
Spark: Yes.
Chick: If I stop making you mad will you stop making me mad?
Boo: [discusted with me] Mom. Do you really think she understands that?
Chick: [to Boo] She might. Besides, how come I'm the one who has to stop? How come she doesn't stop?
Boo: [Rolling eyes -- I have no idea why she puts up with me] Um. Because she's TWO.

And lastly, went to go see this movie yesterday with my 8 y.o., the Rock Star and her fabulous mom. Brillant! Beautiful. Not too scary for a coupla of sappy adults and their far more mature childruns. i'd say "a must-see!"

Finger knitting!

Have we heard of this? My kid came home last night and in the span of about an hour turned a skein of yarn into a narrow knitted chain using her fingers. She learned how to do it at school from a friend and turned around and showed all the kids at her winter camp how to finger-knit. I'm amazed. not that she knows how to do it or that there's this little skill that kids go around teaching each other and that they cn almost instantly do remarkably well, but that it seems so primal. I mean, you look at those intricately woven Hopi baskets that were braided 1,000 years ago and for the first time it occurs to me that maybe some little kids had a hand in making them. Anyway. It's fascinating to watch and to think about. Random bits of craft knowledge that perpetuate themselves throughout history. I think that's neat.

In other news, my 2 year old has started pointing out things she likes: planes that go fast, cars which are going fast, motorcycles going fast, going downhill fast, rollercoasters... you get the point. Basically, it is occuring to me that I'm either going to be out at the slopes or over at the racetrack cheering this litle one on since there's no way in H*** she's going to be happy with a life where she's not actively trying to kill herself on a daily basis. So long as it's not skydiving I think I'll be o.k....

LaLaLa...!

Home with a feverish child -- fun, fun, fun! Although, I have to say as far as sick kids go, this one is really being quite good. Sure she's had her occassional cranky-as-hell, "my eyes are hot!" moments but all in all, I think she's being quite the trooper. She's currently having her nap so I'm switching my parenting abilities to dealing with vendors (seriously, I think the one thing in my life that's made it so that I am able to survive in the corporate world is the fact that having children has given me some insight into two-year-old behavior. the only difference would be that my kids will eventually grow out of whatever phase they're in that's driving me crazy. Our HP support... not so much!)

Anyways. Was not able to attend the nutcracker yesterday due to aforementioned little kid unhappiness but was assured by my lovely and talented 8 year old who DID go that the performance was "GREAT!" Thanks to the Bee family for not only coming up with the idea but for also making it so the big girl didn't have to sit all by herself!

Man, that was fun!

I have finally realized that the trick to having fun at these things is to 1) have NO expectations whatsoever 2) wear lots of fake hair 3) leave when the used-to-be-crush-but-now-just-bitterness-inducing person shows up. Seriously, last night had to have been one of the nicest party-going experiences I've had in recent years. Huge plus, would also be inviting the BBQ because, let's face it, when all is said and done there aren't alot of people who clean up as nicely as that little lady! ;-]

DONE!

I'm finished with my finals!!!!!! I am so stoked about that, I. may. die.

Whew.

Now then.

Sorry I disappeared. Work is a little tricky right this second but it's getting better. All the major stupid issues are being resolved with the website -- now all that remains are the tiny annoying ones... Anyway. Final papers are done (possibly not done well but i am past caring at this point.) GV party is coming up and it will be a freaking hoot! e-mail me if anyone needs tickets. The theme is Back to High School and i'm channeling Beyonce for my character inspiration this year. Quickie special shout out to Travelin' man whose phone number I have written on a post-it at work and whom I will call at some point soon (promise) because it's been simply eons and lunch with an old friend who might be able to tell me the password to my freaking wireless DSL account is always something to look foreward to!

Speaking of forward... as if the party is not excitement enough, on Sundee me and the Scoot and the Bee and her eldest are going to see the Nutcracker! i know! I'd be jealous if it wasn't me who was going!! (This particular outing, BTW, was made possible by the always dapper and amazingly cute IHOEL who will be sheparding the tiny ones whilst we big kids go lap up some culture...so a big THANKS to that esteemed personage as well!) Anyway, just wanted to check in sos everyone knows i'm still alive. I'm gonna go put a baby to bed and just possibly crawl into the sack myself so.... kisses to all and to all a good night!

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...!

Happy floaty Chick.

K. off to Bah-stan. Wish me luck!

excited!

I have a "date" tonight! I have a date with an old friend who I haven't seen in awhile and who has just (again) joined the pool of disillusioned-single-persons-who-don't-really-see-the-point and we've been discussing this whole "dating" thing and trying to figure out why it's so wierd and so we're going to go on a "date." We're going to act like we met through Craigslist -- I'm going to pretend I hate my job and that I'm straight and want to get married someday. He's going to try to be a little more "college guy" who ended up in tech... :-] Plus, there's a very real chance that I'm going to "get some" which is always nice! Yay! I like my friends.

Speaking of which, I miss my buddies. I was fortunate enough to hang with the fantastiolistic IHOEL for a cup o joe on Friday and while it was about the most fun I had that day it also made me really miss my peeps. So then. New Year's rsolution in November. Find/call/write my friends. the ones I like. Not the ones I could care less for yet spend all day on the phone with becuase I need something from them or they need something from me. The other ones. The ones I enjoy talking with because they're actually interesting and cute and make me feel like the world is populated with thinking, rational, good-hearted people. Those friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cliche, yes but heartfelt nontheless! I would like to take a moment to thank whomever is responsible for all of this for giving me such a great life. Thank you for my amazing friends, for my perfect children, for my wonderful family, for my really great job and for allowing me to live a life in which I have access to pretty much every single thing I need to be happy and content 99.998% of the time. ( Now then. First there's this. Not that it's in any way done (the search, for instance, routinely returns "0" items even if you type in exact names and/or item numbers...) but it's live, goddamit which means I can start sleeping nights instead of testing, bug-fixing, planning, composing freaked out e-mails, worrying, scarfing kit kats like they're going out of style etc. etc. etc. Whew. I don't think I've ever been so glad to see something "done". Speaking of done. It just occured to me yesterday as I was signing up for my next semester's classes that THIS IS MY LAST SEMESTER OF CLASSES!!!!!!!! At the end of this semester I am through with coursework. I am supposed to know, write down and defend my dissertation topic. I am supposed to have a plan in place for conducting experiments on unsuspecting human subjects. I am supposed to be well into my lit review. i am supposed to be buckling down and writing on a daily basis in a thought-out, informed way on what will eventually be my freaking disertation! WTF????? Who got me into this mess and where the hell are they now?

In other news, I'm being sent to Boston on Monday for a few days by the GM. Not sure why I'm going. I suspect it may be because everyone else actually does work/is indispensible but who knows. I hear it's 13 degrees out there. Nice.

Like family... almost.

So, things are still insane but some cool things just happened and I felt the need to document so...

1) the agency who was handling Spark's foster care/our adoption just sent me a book. Not a "how-to rulebook" or "an update on your child's benefits" kind of book but a book about adoption told from the child's point of view with an accompanying letter thanking me for being a part of the process. How sweet is that???

2) We're trying a new social experiment here at the house wherein I say to Spark right before she goes to sleep "Do you want milk?" which is her cue to yell "No!" because milk means sleep and she doesn't want sleep. Once she's in bed -- sleep having happened regardless of milk-age, she then demands that milk which, in the past I have sort of sighed and given. Then, I thought, nope. She says no, that means no. So the last few days I've asked and she's said "no" and I've not given her milk despite repeated in-bed requests and tears and sobbing and whatnot. Tonight I said "Do you want your milk?" and she said "No!" Then I said, "remember how yesterday you said no and then got sad because you couldn't have any? Now think about this. Do you want your milk or not?" to which she replied "No milk...! After books. Milk." (!!) I know, my "victories" may seem small but still. At this point I'll take what I can get!

3) my favorite professor just found out she gets to stay at Mills and be an actual tenure track full-time staff member! Funny because she's been there for two years doing wonderfully yet still they felt the need to put her through this insanely grueling interview process (even flying in two other candidates to go up against her.) anyway... Congrats Prof. K. You rule!!

{sigh} Kill me now...

On the bright side, I hear that if I survive next week I'll have officially obtained the exalted level of "red samurai"!

laLaLa!

My big brother is coming into town this week-end! yay! o.k. back to testing...

Va-ca-tion all I ever wanted...!

I'm back my pretties! And yes, I had a GREAT time. Miss my littlest one like nobodies bid-ness but rumour has it I will be retrieving her from her G-ma's tonight so s-all good... Pets survived in my absence thanks to the ministrations of GEG who i SWEAR I am going to stop pining over any day now. House is clean (er) thanks to having just the one child at home on Sundee (the big girl super helpful "now let's clean the fishtank!" one)... As far as work goes... well, I'm actually trying to get back on top of the various ish-hoos that occurred in mon abseence so I'll actually be having to get back to it but just thought I'd check in real quick to let ch'all know I'm not dead. More later, promise!