Big Girls and little babies

My Big girl has a car! a delightful little VW Jetta that she's using to get to and from WORK! Yup. she has a job too. and did i mention she's worked her way through all of her college applications/essays and that she still talks to me and that I CANNOT stand how cool she is??? My Little girl also = cool. she too, continues to astound me with her ability to handle herself and her "situations"... to be clear, I do NOT appreciate all the attitude she throws around the house at times, but she is such a champ at dealing when she's out in the world! As for the rest of the life... it's going. We're pretty anxiously awaiting the arrival of my Grand-nephew, Lil V.(due dec. 15th!!!) beyond that, just really trying to make it through this crazy month/work situation without going ballistic/curling up under my desk in a tiny, mewing, ball of "can't deal" and staying there until spring! {sigh}

Mazel Tov!

One of my dearest, oldest friendliest of friend (BBQ)'s daughter had her Bat mitvah today. It was amazing and touching and so very heartfelt. i admit it - I got a little teary more than once! In other news, my Big big Girl had her first job training today at a real actual job that she had to go apply/interview for! It's in a cafe which is awesome because now i won't have to leave the house to get a quality bagel with latte!

Mid-year update post

Gah! i feel like i never write anything down anymore!!! 1) Happy birthday Little Big Girl (eek! 11?? Really????) - I love you more than words can say and am sooooo glad you came into our lives! 2) Congrats on getting into the new Middle school! I know, i know, we just moved you like three seconds ago but, life is what she is and i'm super excited/happy that you both got to experience the awesomeness that is Kipp Bridge, Oakland as well as get to now go to the also awesomeness that is Gateway Middle School! 3) Yay, Big Big Girl for both living through (ish) SATs (wha???) as well as just kind of maintaining. I know 16 is rough but yo're handling it like a champ! Plus you looked really cute n your prom ensemble! 4) Excited that the Wife managed to off-load the condo in this past fiscal year (and had the presence of mind to get a real "paid-for tax person" so we ended up getting back enough fundage to get a new roof! (whoot, whoot! Raise de... eh. um. never mind.) 5) Sad that BOTH of my bro's lovely wife/partners continue to experience health issues. Here's hoping you both turn some significant corners soon! 6) Shout out to my lovely Lady friend B-Bee who i adore and who is hope is getting on with her pretty self post-divorce and is not having too rough a time of everything (what with everything...) 7) Here's to Facebook which broke the news that i am going to be a Great-Aunt yet again - this time to the beautiful niece V. which is AWESOME!!!!! 8) Lifting a figurative glass to the fact that things in gen are just kind of nice right now. The Wife appears to love me/be happy, the kids are doing great. work doesn't suck.... There's so much more but i'm losing my steam a little bit (plus i want to get back to surfing the web for pics of Gypsy Wagons!!) so, until next hurried, half-assed update... keep on keeping on!

SXSW 2014

I'm in austin! having a very nice time attending the South by Southwest festival which has during the last couple of years, decided to add an interactive path to it's regular film and music line-up. Apart from a few mishaps early on - e.g. not being able to rent the car I had reserved due to Texas' INSANE rental policies and 110% deposit; then totally LOSING my badge within the first 20 minutes of having it! - it's been pretty nice. We're staying in a nice little house that the Boss (IHOEL for you old timers) found for us. It's super cute and super clean/well-appointed. I almost feel bad tracking mud all over it! Aside from not really getting any sleep, since we're 2 hours ahead out here AND because it's daylight freaking savings time (grrrrr!) I've been going to some very interesting panels (the lost badge sitch was rectified in a possibly less than legit way by my new BFF, Sean - Lovely young man, also mixed-race! what up, Mongrels of the world, unite! - yesterday so I could continue going to the many informative sessions and/or get into the various pop-up lounges hawking popcorn and t-shirts. I heart Sean. Seriously. The man is my Dawg.) I also got to see Mizz Mindy Kaling and some of her crew - also awesome. Didn't get any facetime though due to the fact that her people had clearly not told her Who I am and/or the fact that i realized that while i may think she's all fantasticey and all that (and really very cute) probably not alot we have in common were we actually to get a good chinwag going. Still, love her; love her show. And really, really love her co-star/writer Ike Barinholtz who is just completely and consistently hilarious. One other bonus to the whole being in Austin thing, is i got to see my niece V-ness who is delightful and who i love so much. She's really a great young woman and getting to watch her in her town on her terms just makes it clear ow hard she tries to keep everything/everyone supported and moving forward. Plus she took me to the best place to eat (Rudy's BBQ) pretty much the second i got here and I am STILL thinking about the brisket! Yum.

everything is o.k.!

life is moving pretty fast but it's mostly in a good direction so... x-mas was good. all the major holidays actually = pretty good. the wife was ADORABLE this valentine's day which was a little surprising but also really really lovely. Sad for her though because now she has a really high bar to match every year for the rest of our lives together. ah well. tis what it tis. we - me and the girls - got to go to minneapolis and to Oakes, ND for my G-ma's 100th birthday (and New Year) which was the world's awesomest trip! tons of snow. got to hang with my beautiful cousins and their amazing families (and the girls got to meet their minnesota cousins which was also sort of fantastic!). There was snow everywhere and -17 degree temps and my mom and my Big Bro were there and noone killed anyone! quite the contrary, things went relatively smoothly - and my boy cousin T was sweet enough to take the girls out on his snowmobile just like i remember his dad doing when we were little! it was great! then we got back and settled in and are just really liking the new house and the life. At least i am. mostly. works a little nuts but whatevs... you do what you can do and you can't do no more! {sigh.} i'm really tired. there i probably some other milestone type stuff i'm forgetting to write about but... i'll finish filling folks in later/after i get some sleep.

Conversation with my 16 year old daughter

Her: mom. I think i'm pregnant.
Me: [driving] yeah? Why?
Her: I'm tired all the time and i'm gaining weight.
Me: Have you been visited by any angels of the lord?
Her: Not that i know of.
Me: Are you having sex?
Her: Wha??! EW! No. Why would you even ask that! {gagging sound}
Me: [smiling] O.K., o.k. Immaculate conception, then. You're about to produce the next messiah.... Well, you're a little older than the others but I guess it holds conceptually.


[Continuing to drive]

Her: [under her breath, looking out the window] sex?! Ew.

that's my gal.

And, no folks, she is not, in fact pregnant. Sad,because i sort of liked the idea of being the next Savior of humanity's Na-nah. ;-)

Portraiture anyone?

Exciting!!! Apparently, Leland bobbe, a very awfully amazing photographer thinks I have "an interesting look" and would be open to having me sit for him {squeal!!} - all I have to do is come up with his (reduced) fee and enough money to get to NYC and I'm golden! Seriously, I'm sort of in awe of his portraiture and I think it would be amazing/lovely to have my mid-forties documented by him.... must think, must think, must think.... Maybe a "gofundme" project set up to cover studio plus flight?? I could ask folks to donate in lieu of birthday presents...! I dunno. is that too weird/self-serving? {sigh} Why am i not independently wealthy???????

This week-end was awesome-amazing. I got to have dinner with my Wife whom i've literally not had a chance to talk to in like five years; i got the first edition of "The Billops Family News" which the Little Big girl, Mz. Spark has taken it upon herself to produce (I hope regularly!!) and which is FAN-tastic; and my amazing "adopted" Little Sis stopped by to watch my kids, clean out my basement and do my dishes! Oh - and to make everyone cupcakes while she was at it... Seriously. me=really, really blessed/lucky!

babies, babies everywhere but not a drop to drink!

Such an exciting week-end! Went to an old friend's baby shower (really old - roomies 20 years ago, old) and made much of their about to be birthed daughter while also getting a glimpse of my another old friend's (Pretty Boy to be exact) brand new 3 week old son and finally getting to meet his lovely wife who i've heard so much about! really quite fantastic to be re-united with the crew and do some catching up. Also lovely to see the newly renovated digs and to sample the latest in the exceptionally tasty cocktail that were being served up to those who chose to imbibe! In other news, went with the CP and my Big Big Girl to watch her get her nose pierced! I know! crazy right??! She was, of course a big ole trooper although i did feel a bit faint. The place/piercer though = totally legit/awesome and in the end it seems to be not hurting nearly a much as we all thought it might so.... That's good. Spent the rest of the week-end just sort of puttering around. Thought briefly about assembling the uber-cool fire pit my wife bought me for our anniversary but in the end realized i'd rather sit around in the sun and read so... whilst the Missus and the Little Big Girl were in Livermore watching some random football game with the Auntie/cousin, that's just what i did - lazed about! Felt good to. So good, i may even do it again sometime! Lastly, just so we're all caught up with the current events: We celebrated Mizz Boo's 16th birthday by taking her and a few friends Go-karting; She/Boo also re-took and PASSED her written driving test AND we decided to move our Spark to a new school (KIPP Bridge in oakland. 5-8, very structured environment, fantastic-seeming principal, rave reviews from the parents who have gone there from Spark's old school - I really think this is going to work for her)... I know, right! Personally, I blame the government shut-down but for whatever reason this has been a very eventful couple of weeks!

warming

so, we had a housewarming party last week-end that was fantastic! It rained a ton in the morning which made me both sad (because all of our nicely loaned tables and canopies were getting soaked) but also kind of happy because i've not yet been in the new house with the rain and it was really very lovely to feel so warm and tucked away. Regardless, the rain eventually cleared and the sun and my friends turned out looking adorable to a person and bearing lots of really delicious food. they also brought their adorable children which made me practically cry with happiness because, really, the only reason I keep most of them around is because i love their kids. After my adopted sister d and i put together a new grill for my wife to practice her cooking skillz on (and which i think she actually only ended up standing near while, again, My Adopted Sis, D handled most of the grilling!) everything sort of came together in a fabulous, chillaxed kind of cohesion which, although it was crazy stressful leading up to the event, just ended up flowing super well (IMO.) The ONLY thing i found lacking even a little bit was my inability to actually talk at length to all the super cute, super smart people in my house because i kept having to be all hostesy and greety and making sure nobody got too killed on the toys i provided-y.... Still though, all in all it was fun and I feel lucky and blessed to know such great people even if i only get to view them from a distance.

---

In other recent news - the Big Girl Boo took her written driving test two days ago and, sadly, did not pass. I told her i totally flunked on my first go too but i don't know if that makes anyone actually feel any better. She's got the book now and will be taking it again on Friday and/or Monday depending on how well we understood or misunderstood the directions for re-taking and i feel like she will do better next time!

---

then lastly, right this second, Me and the Spark have just returned fro a cute little event that my very lovely buddy A-girl had her handmade book at and it was both very fun as well a very inspiring to both me and my little angel. forget that i really like hanging out with her but to see her get o excited about book making and printing is just a joy! We missed IHOEL and the children but The Israeli was there with his a-flippin-dorable youngest girl-child o that was nice. :-)

---

Oh! and i almost forgot - Pretty Boy and his beautiful Wife had their baby! I know! It is a boy and weighs a million pounds (10 to be exact) and was born about a little over a week ago. {collective "awwwwwww!"} Let's hear it for fabulous people having/raising kids!!!

back to school!

The Little Big Girl went back to school today. the Big Big Girl has been going for a week now. 5th and 11th grades respectively. oy.

re: that - I had a disturbing dream the other night. me and the wife and the little big girl were in a truck driving along and i took a corner too fast. the truck rolled over (completely!) and ended up facing the opposite direction back on all four wheels. we were all shook up but when i asked if everyone was o.k. everyone said they were. LBG said she "was scared." who wouldn't be?? i just freaking rolled the truck! so anyway, we're sitting there dazed and i look around outside and realize that noone else seems particularly concerned. in fact there are a couple of folks just sort of looking quizzically at us; one lady had her blinker on and was waiting (it would seem) to get into her driveway (which we were in/blocking). the other weird thing was that this shake-up had caused the truck to kind of split into two trucks. One was solid seeming and the other was sort of a spirit truck that was super imposed on the "real" one. in the dream, I'm trying to get the truck moving but i'm also really aware of the tenuousness of the connection between it and the spirit truck so i'm trying to move super slowly and carefully. the thing is, we're also sort of on a hill and as the truck (my truck) is rolling toward it, the other truck; the spirit one is moving faster. So i try putting on the brake but that just makes me slow down more and the other truck gets even farther ahead. THEN i think i'll try to catch it but when i speed up, the LBG and the wife get a little freaked out (because, let's face it, i JUST got us into this big ole accident which we are lucky we survived!) so i realize i've got to think of them and slow the f down. which i do which means though that the spirit truck keeps going faster and faster away from us until finally it turns a corner and i can't see it anymore. by the time i get to the corner, it's gone. :-(

i woke up feeling very sad and NO this dream has NOTHING to do with my now-junior-in-high-school Big Big Girl getting ready to leave me for college or whatever! sheesh. can't a girl just have a random dream!

Two incredibly important things

before i forget.

1) Mz. Sharon Ellison/my own personal idol/cult leader is here in the Bay Area/Oakland and is STAYING with us! I KNOW! can't really stand it.

2) I just had THE BEST idea for an art show. my dolls plus Boo's drawings (sketched on post-its) plus the "little Red Wagon" wooden piece all hung together with a show title of "Mixed Media: post-it-plank series" Genius!!

I'm gonna live For-evah!

My Little Big Girl is performing in Fame Jr. today/tonight! I am so excited to see her bounding about on stage i can not hardly even stand it. :-)

Also, not sure if i gave adequate page time to this information in previous posts but by Big Big Girl is just completing her first PAID summer work position as an intern at the SF Friend's school! Whoo hoo! Now that she is loaded, I am going to start figuring out how to retire early...!

Seriously Settled

Let's see, I'm pretty exhausted right now but still feeling the need to keep this thing at least sort of up-to-date so I think i'll give the expanded bulleted update and let it go at that.

1) in the new house FINALLY. The actual Movers helping experience was delightful. They were fast, reasonable and very, very nice. Also super nice was/were the ladies who cleaned the bathroom/kitchen/molding,  the guy who cleaned the carpets and the guy who took away the huge pile of trash by the side of the house. seriously, could not have asked for a better set of professional folks. That being said, there was also close to three weeks of post-move moving/re-painting/cleaning/storing in the new basement of stuff that still needed to happen and which resulted in at least one major blow-up at the Spark who when asked to simply accompany me/us on the LAST trip to get stuff  didn't feel like it/got all attitudey and in me throwing my back out [not the *same* incident but still]. {sigh} Still though, finally in and loving the new house. It's just so nicely laid out and has lots of space and the yard is really very peaceful and nice.

2) Spark and Da Wife and Da Wife's Big Sis and Spark's Cousin(s) and G-Ma are getting to see each other a bit more which is lovely. I know it's something that means a *lot* to both Spark and the Wife so, glad to see it's happening..

3) Got to go to the PNDC Summer Deepening in Sonoma where I hobnobbed with Canadians, got to surface some of my "stuff" and potentially made some really nice new friends. Also got connected to the folks who are setting up and trying to move forward with the PNDC institute which is where i'd love to end up working so getting in on the ground floor now is a great thing!

4) Am happy about the supreme court ruling vis a vis gay marriage and the DOMA act and folks being allowed to get (and stay) hitched, in this awesome state of ours!

5) Super thankful to have friends like A-Tail who hook a Chick's Boo up with some fancy paid internships at swankity-swank Quaker schools so she can have something to list on her college apps as well as making enough cash to support her fabulous 15 y.o. life!

6) Helped my Adopted Sister get herself moved the hell out of the place she was living with her (now ex) GF who as treating her like some kind of 50's housewife. I get that "s" has been super difficult what with moving in together right away and blending families and adding in a 14 month old to the mix *but* i also think that this lady has some issues that are hers alone and that it's not an entirely bad thing for ASis to see this as an opportunity to get herself completely out. She may be sad, homeless, broke and supporting two kids BUT she's also resilient and smart and sweet and i feel like she's going to be sooooo much better off once she finally gets to the other side of all this crazy.

7) Almost died from dehydration. Not really, but sure as heck didn't feel so great for a couple of days before getting yelled at by the advice nurse/my doc who are clearly sick of me and my lack of fluid intake: "your chart says you've experienced this before???!" [all raised eyebrows and whatnot] and getting myself a little more liquidated up. Nice, ultimately to stop feeling dizzy/headachey all the time!

8) Got the brakes fixed on the truck and (finally) the oil changed - Whoot Whoot!

9) "Insurance-gate" 2013 with the CP. nuff said.

10) Trying a bunch of different things with regard to the Spark since she continues to be both extraordinarily delightful and as frustrating/irritating as a human being can be; pretty much interchangeably. I'm really working on not letting her provoke me into crazy, intense screaming matches but dammit it's hard. The girl really knows which buttons to kick! Somethings that seem to be working are quigong as a transitioning/wind-down method and singing her her own sleep song (both of which i learned at Deepening!) not that i'm not still getting mad but at least they give me something to try instead of just sitting around being frustrated. And she does seem to respond to them a little bit so... that's nice.

11) and, oh yeah, I'm teaching the Boo how to drive(!!)!

so, that's where we are.

In general things are fab. still tired; still feel like it's all a little too much, but still pretty happy/contented/set so I'm gonna give the life "four thumbs up, Bob!"

Homeowners!

Thas right, folks we are officially owners of our very own a little-too-perfect-to-be-true housey-house in a great little neighborhood next to a great little creek right in the vibrant heart of this glorious city called oak-Town! {whew.} I'm kind of freaking out right this second because we closed a little later than we thought we would and have already set up moving dates and contractors and stuff so it seems like we have fifteen seconds to get everything done but I also know that things will get done (even if it kills me which would ultimately be a shame because it would have been nice to live in the new house for at least a little while...) and that everything will work out (continue to work out) jest fine so... super stressed right this second but knowing that this too shall pass

in other news, got treated to a really lovely Group Mom Tea Party  Social hosted by my lovely 15 year old and her pals as a consolation gift for their spending tomorrow (the actual Mom's Day) at a concert. Needless to say, more than worth it - totally awesome food and fine china and getting serenaded by the three of them playing "an acoustic set" of some of their standards... Priceless! And totally cool getting it a whole day early!

we are buying a house

WE. ARE. BUYING. A. FREAKING. HOUSE! k. just needed to get that off my chest. more later when the rest of the deal is done. (a HOUSE!!)

Househunting 101 - Part 2

Looking for a house to buy is extremely edifying. There are some basics that i feel like we need to have but then there are a bunch of things that come up that i didn't even think about - like what if you actually do like the multi-level house in the cute neighborhood and it's in your price range and everything and if you get it you get to evict the family of five with three kids under the age of five plus their cute, pit-mix puppy. OR what if the "fixer-upper" down the street is suddenly available and you're thrilled because that means you can stay int eh neighborhood but then you find out that it's actually not so much a "fixer-upper" so much as a paint- (please, dear god, let that be paint!) stained, crumbling mess of a place (with no central heat and a "shared" backyard which is still getting a million bids from "investors" whatever that means. OR you find a place that is great. you love it. it works and is basically move-in-able and the listing agent isn't thrilled with the type of loan you have or with your downpayment (she likes your letter though!) but she'll [grudgingly] submit your offer anyway. Just, you know, so you don't sue or something.... It is a very good thing that we have both a fantastic realtor and a stable rental place where we can continue living for the foreseeable future [knock on wood!] otherwise... well, i don't know what otherwise. It is interesting seeing what's out there though. Nothing like a crazy, mostly outside-of-your-control process to make you start thinking about your relative place in the world. [yes, pun intended.]

Househunting 101

Ah... so i'm out looking for a house for us to live in for the rest of our live and i'm realizing that this is EXACTLY like the worst parts of our adoption-of-the-Spark experience. Lots of seeing and not knowing and being told that "all you need to do is..." and finding out that actually, that's not entirely true, and finally finding a place that's PERFECT then realizing that a whole bunch of other people also think it's perfect and that they have more money to offer, bigger down payment, whatever,  than you and that you're not going to get that perfect (or practically perfect because, let's face it, the ones we can really afford are in the "fixer-upper" category. Sorry. Try again and remember to keep a hopeful outlook but don't hope too much. just enough to keep looking but not enough to get sad if/when you don't get it. We're even having to write "why we're great and super deserving and you should give us this kid - er- ah... I mean house!" letters..... {sigh} K. i realize everyone goes through this. i KNOW that. but it still sucks.

Santa Cruz!

Just got back from santa cruz where i took the girls for prezzie's day week-end. Super fun! The weather was grand. Plus the motel was adorable with "enclosed" pool, cute little hot tub, super kid friendly and dog-friendly as well! Spent Sunday on the boardwalk/rode all sorts of scary rides then watched the little girls chase some waves whilst me and  the teen-ager, relax-ie-pants on the sand/shoo'd away the seagulls. Very lovely time overall. A little sad it was so short but you takes what you can gets. :-)

Happy Birthday to Me!

Such a nice age - 45! So nice to have good old and new friends to celebrate the getting older with. I love pretty much everything about my life right now. :-)

Funny thing my big girl said to me pon the eve of my turning:

Her: "I saw a guy on the bus yesterday who you'd totally have a crush on. he'd be my best friend."
Me: i cannot have a crush on your best friend! that would be unseemly."
Her: "why not?" then, knowingly: "o.k. whatever. he'll just be my best friend. [pause] you'd totally have a crush on him though!"
Me: "yeah. probably."

{sigh}