GAH!

I feel like i'm having a goddamn nervous breakdown! Shesh.

I was just out cleaning up the most recent HUGE F'in' mess created by the G'Damn dog and the Landlady stuck her head out to let me know (again in possibly THE SWEETEST WAY a person can "let someone know something") that I shouldn't let the dog "run wild" in the front yard because he poops everywhere and the LandLord Guy (also very sweet) stepped in it the other day. Plus, she's got Grandbabies out there playing, etc. etc. etc. which is all very true and reasonable but which for some stupid reason made me all cranky/teary because I KNOW all of this and I only let him run around in the first place because i feel bad that he's on a leash all day and I'm trying to watch him when he's off but I've got fifty billion other things i have to do as well and I can't do everything all the time and I'm SORRY I'm not a better dog-owner, Goddammit, but seriously, I. am. doing. the. best. I. can!!!!! God.

Anyway. I got the stuff for his taller-less-escapable enclosure today so I can actually build it this week-end and hopefully cut down a little on the guilt part of this whole exercise. I also have more grandiose plans about fencing off my part of the back yard so he has a nice huge place to terrorize but that's a few week-ends/suddenly found money away so... first things first right...

Other than the dog (who I do love very much -- anyone want a dog??) I spose things are going well. Work is sort of becoming normal which it didn't seem to be doing as little as a day ago so... I'm enormously tired all the time (like waaaayyyy more than usual) so not sure what's up with that but i'm gonna try to schedule less and get to bed on time more and see what happens to the ole outlook. The kids are doing grand. The Spark leapt feet-first into some major developmental growth phase and has just been a kick to have around. I mean that seriously. She's discovered humour and has started asking for stuff using a very funny old man cranky voice standing with her hand on her hip instead of her usual point/scream/whine/fall down routine. She has also taken to meeting my cranky demands with a very elaborate "okay, okaaaaay, sheesh!" paired with a grin before actually settling down to it which i am amazed yet delighted by and which does wonders for my own cranky-pantness. Don't get me wrong, we're still having the "tired-must-object-to-everything" sobfests every now and again but the "power struggle" bits have definitely taken a sharp turn for the better. Me likes, alot. Hope it continues for longer than a month...