in a MUCH better mood now, thanks for asking! Big party week-end coming up -- happpy B-days to the way-beyond-cool Mrs. A Bee and, of course, all the best coming year's wishes imaginable for my own stellar little Boo!

blah!

I'm sick. I'm sick and i'm overwhelmed and I keep having all these wierd freaked out single parent dreams like last night wherein my brain considered whether or not, if I were to die in my sleep, there were enough random baggies of cheerios lying around the house to make it so that Spark would have something to live on until someone noticed something was wrong and came looking for her. Or what if I was really sick and couldn't move who'd take care of Spark then? I mean, my awake brain knows that I have people in my life who would be more than happy to assist in these scenarios and that these sorts of things aren't really issues I should be worrying about but seriously the last three nights have been all about this kind of crap. {sigh} Boo is sick too. I hope Spark doesn't get it next. Anyway, I'm going back to bed now.

When I was a senior in high school, my drama class paired up with the chorus department to do Hair -- i couldn't sing so they made me a part of the ensemble that sang this song:


"White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk

White boys give me goose bumps
White boys give me chills
When they touch my shoulder
That's the touch that kills

Well, my momma calls 'em lilies
I call 'em Piccadillies
My daddy warns me stay away
I say come on out and play

White boys are so groovy
White boys are so tough
Every time that they're near me
I just can't get enough

White boys are so pretty
White boys are so sweet
White boys drive me crazy
Drive me indiscreet

White boys are so sexy
Legs so long and lean
Love those sprayed-on trousers
Love the love machine

My brother calls 'em rubble
That's my kind of trouble
My daddy warns me "no no no"
But I say "White boys go go go"

White boys are so lovely
Beautiful as girls
I love to run my fingers
And toes through all their curls

Give me a tall
A lean
A sexy
A sweet
A pretty
A juicy
White boy

Black boys!
White boys!
Black boys!
White boys!"


Now, twenty years later, a self-actualized adult with daughters of my own, I can only ask in amazed wonder -- What the HELL were they thinking??!

22 hours of little to no sleep...

and counting.

My life, at this point, sucks.

I swear i'm trying to be appropriate...!

Honest! Can I help it if my cutie vendor support types aren't cooperating??! Sheesh. Anyway. Vendor Guy was here all day yesterday driving me crazy with his "Just a phone call away!" comments and his casual touching of various of my body parts -- then he has the audacity to call me last night to "give me an update"... How the hell is that not gonna devolve into naughty talk???? Eh hem. Anyways... I bring all this up because I just saw pictures of myself being inappropriate with a whole OTHER set of vendors whilst I was in the midst of signing up for my sexual harrassment refresher course and it got me thinking "Hmmmm. i wonder if there's some sort of policy on this that i should know about?" Ah well.

I'm up tomorrow morning at 5am testing the hardware changes we're working on right now so the odds are kind of good that i won't spend too much time obsessing about anyone in particular. Can I just say: boys + me = trouble and the sooner I figure that out the better for everyone involved!

We have the young Stevie Nicks here with us tonight. Such a beautiful kid. Seriously, it's borderline insane how rock star that kid looks. Plus, she can actually sing. She was serenaded us in the car -- kid is six years old and she's belting out tunes she made up about the alphabet with flourish and crescendo 'n sheet! Thank the sweet heavens above she's now got a mom who's not about to let the forces that be take any kind of advantage of her little girl because mark my words, at multiple points in this little lady's life she's gonna get approached by people wanting to hand her a one-way ticket to stardom...!

In other news, the BBQ Baby Girl is having her B-day party tomorrow which is promising to be all kinds of fun and for which I cannot wait!

and lastly IHOEL went ahead and had that triple bypass/intra-species transplant surgery she'd been considering for the last coupla years and I am relieved and delighted to be able to announce that it looks like the Baboon heart is going to take and that she'll be released from the hospital in a matter of months! JK. I am glad steps are being taken though to relive some of the not so great goings on with my muchly missed IHOEL. If there's anything I can do to assist convalescence (short of whipping up some sort of soup) do let me know and I will get right on it!

I'm tired right now cause I went out with some vendor types last night to smooze the night away (one of whom was the flirty lass from the July trade show!) -- not alot to report (got french kissed by the wrong one) but I did want to say that the place we went for food; some Vietnamese place in the Mission -- was GREAT! I know! I'm as shocked as you people are but really, the shaken beef was to - die - for! K. {yawn} Nuff of that noise. I'm off to put the kiddies to bed so I can put myself to bed so I am less cranky tomorrow. Ciao...

I have seen the future...

and it is my babysitter.

So, yesterday a truck chose to become "engulfed in flames" on the Bay Bridge translating into more than a few unpleasant things in my world -- the most annoying of them was the complete and total inability to get to my toddler (which was disconcerting as well since this is the first time I've ever not been able to physically get to my kid. It wasn't panic inducing, or anything, because I knew she was safe at her daycare -- just frustrating knowing that I was massively inconveniencing them and that I would end up having to pay upwards of thrirteen thousand dollars in late fees) but after several panic-ey type phone calls I was able to reach her current "while-I'm-in-class" sitter who lives on that side of the Bay and was able to go get her. (Quick thanks re: the amazing luck that it is mine to have that she was cool with that kind of bizarre request when basicaly she's only known us for three weeks and that she had the time and a car!) Anyway, we ended up at Mills picking up the little one and BabySitter was there with her friends and it just struck me all upon a sudden how very young they are. Now I look at my big girl and she's aging years every time a freaking minute goes by and I look at these fresh, earnest, well-scrubbed young people who are in college fer chrissakes and they just seem really really young. So, my question is at what point do they stop "growing up to fast" and start "not being near grown enough?"

There were three of them in this group. The middle one (my KidSitter) seemed alot like my Boo -- aware, calm, smart, plesant and polite but not particularly forthcoming. Her friend was that girl -- the one who likes to interact with adults, in fact feels they're more her equal than the children she has to surround herself with normally, also super young looking but trying to act in a more mature/sophisticated way. Then the last was the cuter, more puppy-like, nice but not super-sure what you're supposed to say when you're pulled into a conversation with some random adult and her two kids. I was looking at these kids and at the ways they interacted with me and i realized that this little group was Boo and her friends not too long from now. And that while that was comforting (because, really, they all seem relatively secure in their own skins -- meaning, i guess, that none of them really expect that the world is going to be screwing them over any time soon) it was also wierd because it is, in some ways COMPLETELY foreign to the environment in which I grew up. These kids are not wary. they are not anxious and they are not in need of "options" -- i'm not saying they don't have problems but they don't have the problems we had growing up. And, it kind of just occurred to me, neither will my Boo. Which is good -- kind of what I guess we're all working toward but which also means, there's going to be a point where I will have no idea what's she's up against. God. i hope she keeps talking to me.

In other news, i gave Boo the "Who's cuter" test (aka "Is preference genetically determined") by flashing pictures of these two popular cuties:




and





She, of course, being ma ba-bee, unhesitatingly chose Chad proving beyond a shadow of a doubt (at least until Spark is old enough to indulge her Mommy's weirdness) that this kind of stuff is innate. For the record, we both also agreed that Bow Wow




is just soooo much cuter/looks like he'd be more fun to play with than Lil Romeo

So, it's like cyst is it??!

I have a ganglion cyst on my middle figer, right hand. I'm going to have it sliced out and because I have to drive to pick up the sprouts later in the day I'm going to have it done using local anesthetic. No big deal, right? I mean can't be any worse than childbirth... Oi.

I am a dyke!

I need to just put it out there that I am a big ole dyke. And not one of those "because women are objectively beautiful" types either, I am not interested in admiring a woman's "beauty" -- I want to get into her pants pure and simple. So then, having firmly established my unswerving/staunch lesbianicness in everybody's mind, I would now like to consider for a moment the rapidly expanding list of BOYS for whom I feel melty. eh hem...:

New York Guy - sure he's messed up but he's got a voice like hot honey and every time he smiles it makes my knees buckle. Plus he's got a convertible that he likes driving almost as much as I like riding so you know that's a draw...

Pretty Boy - tragic, sweet as hell, centered and soooo deserving of a nice normal girlfriend. I'm just glad he's letting me sub until she shows up!

Dirty Boy - he's not here anymore so I can go ahead and admit that I kind of like being with him; it's like rolling around in a big ole pile of autumn leaves; fun, kind of filthy, in the end sorta itchy and you really need a shower after.

Vendor Guy - another New Yorker (this one by way of Clevland!) who's here ostensibly to help up get our systems "up to speed" but whom I can't help sort of sparring with in a very borderline flirty/insulting/you know you love it kind of way. He's got this huge scar on the side of his face which plus the accent makes him very Harrison Frod action type guy which, granted is discusting but, still kind of sexy.

and let's not forget

the Crush - used to be a girl now identifying as a boy; See! even when I try I still somehow end up on the hetero side of things!

Goddamn bridge!

You wanna know how long we sat in traffic this morning waiting to get on the damn bridge before giving up, turning around and taking BART/Muni to get my baby to school??? Too long, that's how long! So, anyway. I'm actually super busy here at work trying to cover my job and my ex-web developer's job whilst I train her replacement so I REALLY don't have time to sit here jabbering away to you people, but... interesting development in that I've just found out that guy who I think is cute is going to be at an event I'm going to on Sat. so now I have to figure out how to somehow work "sexy and alluring" into "outfit one wears to baptism" -- i'll keep you posted on that one. In other news, the Fox has decided to overheat at a moment's notice but it's all good. Fixing will happen. the world will continue on. {sigh} O.K. i'm actually really going to get back to work now. (I've just become enormously tired but it'll be over soon. Wait. No, it won't! Hmmmm...)

Life in nutshell:

Outing with Pretty Boy to Point Reyes = splendid! His ex-chick really messed him up but he's a big ole trooper and a wonderful, worthwhile person, and soooo unbelievably much more than ole EC will ever deserve (not too mention being on his way to Tahiti where he will go sailing with buddies for the next fourteen days!) plus he's got me to help him out with the more...eh...hem... physical gratification stuff so, really, honestly, I'm thinking he'll be aight!

Kids = great! Everyone is in shipshop shape and bein amusing as all get out. i love my babies. they are the best.

Work = so-so. Bad turning to good but we're still somewhere in the middle.

School = fabulous. Spark-sitter is wonderful. Spark seems very content to be left with her, profs are brillant, papers are getting written (sort of)

All-in-all, sum total i think that if I could just get a little sleep i'd be good to go!

Black folks "loot", white folks "find things"...

I'm sure some of you have already seen this:

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2005/09/01/photo_controversy/index.html

but I'm fascinated by the "controversy" as well as by the immediacy of the response. (Although I do note that of the two, yahoo pulled the picture showing the lighter folks...)I mean, when in our recent history have questionable representations of marginalized people been able to be so quickly and thoroughly discovered, discussed, rallied around and dispatched...? Interesting.