Monday, January 30, 2006

mmmmmmmmmm..... sugar...!

I am in a state of hypoglycemic shock brought on by THE WORLD'S BEST M&M cookies which were made pour moi by the very extremely best friend (who, albeit runs a bit tight-lipped with the proffering of info about major life decisions -- at least to me, her best friend, that is. Eh, hem... but super-cool nonetheless!) BBQ and her adorable child. I am so happy and fat right now, I may explode.

So, home at last. For some reason today seemed long.

Consider this conversation had mid-morning with "child" who thinks of mon pad as extra storage:

Person-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless: Hey, are you gonna be home tonight? I gotta pick something up.
Chick: [thinking - Home? Where the hell else am I gonna be on a Monday night. Dope.] Um. I'm not sure, when were you thinking of stopping by?
PWSRN: Dunno. after 11:00 I guess... [That's PM folks! Idiot...!]
Chick:Yeah, I'll be home. I'll be asleep. [idiot.]
PWSRN: in bed...?
Chick: {sigh...} Yes, you degenerate, in bed! Alone. Warm. Comfortable and not about to be awakened by the by some child who suddenly realized he can't live without his guitar pick!
PWSRN:{Sad, drawn out silence...}
Chick: GOD! Alright, you can come get your crap. I'll leave the door unlocked. Do NOT go into any room but the livingroom, do NOT wake up the baby and do NOT take anything out of the refrigerator which you shouldn't even be near as it is not in the livingroom!
PWSRN:{grin} Are you gonna be up?

Now then, considering how completely much I bend over backwards (no double entendres, please) for this inconsiderate prick, imagine, if you will, how I respond to a nice person. A gentleman who has (somewhat inexplicably, granted but to each his/her own) decided that we (he and me) should "date." Who has met me once (at a gathering of adoptive parents and their sprouts. He has three little girls two of which match my Beans ages. They -- the girls, that is -- actually seemed very cool. Too bad their dad does NOTHING for me..) and upon receiving my business card (which, honestly, I thought would send him running for the hills!) has called me numerous times to suggest coffee, outings, playdates, etc.

Nice Guy: Chick?
Chick:Oh. Hi.
Nice Guy: Wow. I'm surprised I caught you. Usually I have to leave a message and wait for you to call back. Ha Ha.
Chick: Uh. Heh. Yeah.
Nice Guy: [after longish pause] So... I was... I mean, I am going to be in the city for a conference thing and I thought we might get together for lunch or coffee or something...
Chick: [fully realizing that no actual dates have been proffered] Hmmmm. I'm going to be pretty busy over the next few weeks. You know, gearing up for Valentine's Day!
Nice Guy: Oh! This is after Valentine's Day.
Chick: Oh. Well, I'm not sure what the "ramp-down" [total made-up word. I am sooooo gonna burn in hell.] time is going to look like... If I get some time, I'll call you. K.?
Nice Guy: Oh. well. o.k. Do you have my number? I didn't know because you haven't actually returned any of my calls...
Chick: Yeah, I have it somewhere. Oop! I think I'm getting paged. Gotta go!
Nice Guy: K. Well, maybe I'll see y-
Chick: Bye! [click]

Karmically, I'm in for it, right?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Like a fine wine...

I go well with fish! No wait. I mean, I get better with age!

Can I just say, I'm a HUGE fan of songs with the word "Baby" in them (and if it's got the word baby and it's by a certain Lyle Lovett I pretty much become a puddle of mush that must be immediately mopped into some sort of container lest some of the more important bits go missing! eh, hem.. sorry, where was I?) and since yesterday (which was my actual Birthday Proper) SUCKED (entirely due to work concerns. My friends and family and babies were unbelievably sweet actually) I found it necessary to spend a significant amount of time compiling an mp3 list of Baby-songs so I could better drown out the cacophony of "Can you explain these numbers...???!" Crap I was getting from other corners. In doing so, I realized that one of the best lines i've heard so far is: "It's alright, Baby, if I hurry I can still make Cheyenne..." crooned by the one, the only Mr. George Straight which is just cool sounding in general but in context -- well suffice to say, it pretty much rips your heart out... The second best usage comes from a song about the Revolutionary War (lyrics by Sarah Vowell. Music written and performed by Marah) and which goes thusly: "George Washington and the Marquis de Lafayette, grinned a 'Baby, it's cold outside' duet. Your hands are like ice said the Marquis to George and that was Christmas at Valley Forge!" Eh hem. Sorry. moving on.

Went this last week-end to check out a Capoeria class for the Big Girl. Super cool place. Seems like fun. She's gonna have her first class this Sat. so we'll see how she likes it.

Little big kid told me something was "cute" last night. Are we all aware how very adorable it is to have a cute litle person telling you in a v. serious voice that something else is cute???? I pretty much just died.

Recently past birthdays which I would now like to give shout-outs to include the wonderful, fabulous, fantastic Lily-Bee Cheers, Chicka, to the best 5 year old on the planet! and to the ever supportive and splendiferous (not to mention highly amusing!) Abby-Tail who I LOVE and who I wish all the best things in the entire world upon.

Lastly, private shout-out to the CP's GalPal for just being a general all-round decent person and for taking such careful care of my Boo. Thank you. You may not realize it but your continued existence in all our lives makes my row so much easier to hoe. ;-]

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

My Life. abridged.

School starts. tomorrow.
the Boo got rats (2. v. cute.)
Mom. impromptu visit yesterday. On way home from thailand.
Work = Sucky and annoying (and based on inaccurate data, besides!)
Dreams of ex being sweet. (She was pretty sweet in real life too, jsut super mondo-sah-weet in the dreams... Disturbing but nice.)
Dirty Boy back in town. on my couch.
Sleep. A distant fantasy of mine. may happen some day. Not holding breath.
38th Birthday in 5 days! Whoo Hoo! {sigh}

that's it really. more later when I'm less tired.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


I have a grey/white hair growing out of my "private area"!! I'm not going to bore you with the details regarding how I came to know this. Nor will I dwell on the conversation that ensued once this pronouncement was delivered -- let's just say a certain amount of "mood" was broken. Eh hem. Anyway. Other than that one tiny reminder of my eminent date with DEATH, Vegas trip was grand. Pretty Boy was/is cute (as always) and brought one of the most beautiful Silver-grey Armani suits I think I've ever seen which he was good enough to put on and model for me before we left for the show so I could get all delighted about how freaking GORGEOUS he is sometimes... (speaking of which, were we aware that there's such a thing as "Armani Babi" -- Can you imagine dropping $543.00 on some adorable little Tibetan wool cap that is going to actually grace the Baby in question's head for 15-20 minutes before it is tossed to the ground and trampled by the Union Square crowds? I don't care what anyone says; there is such a thing as too much money. Anyway.) Show was O.K. I hate to say that about a Cirque show because I. LOVE. Cirque du Soleil shows. But I have to say... I think this one was trying to do a bunch of stuff it had no business doing mostly because of its easily shocked, middle America audience -- it couldn't really do the subject matter extremely well or better than any other Vegas sex show so instead they tried to wrap some sex (very little) into some Cirque (again not so much) with a dash of story thrown in at the start and an actually funny set of clowns in the middle... not horrible but given that I KNOW they can be brillant, a little disappointing...

The AVN show was interesting as well. Lots of large bosoms and fake tans. Porn stars are freaking TINY. I keep forgetting that.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Happy New Year, BTW. I hope each and every one of you has a year that is amazing and fruitful and fun! I love you all and wish you the best life has to offer... {Big smooch from me to you -- right on the kisser!}


Pretty Boy:When do I get to see you?
Me:Dunno. I'm in Vegas this week-end at a tradeshow...
Pretty Boy:I could come to Vegas.
Me: K.
Me: We should go see a show.
Pretty Boy: K.
Pretty Boy: We should go shopping first.
Me: K.

Gawd. I must have been a freaking saint in another life!