A vote!
A
very nice woman agreed to have
sex with me today. That is, I
think she did. We were at an
event with
Family Guy and his
adorable family (seriously, I don't think I've ever met
an entire family that seemed so freaking
sweet! It was a little
eerie actually, like he went out and hired these people to represent the various family persons who'd i'd already heard so much about and already formed a pretty
stellar opinion of -- although, I guess in retrospect they
did match the photos he's got on his desk... anyway, a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e! The whole damn brood!) and this
girl, whom I've mentioned before, and I start with the
chinwag and I ask how her
Thanksgiving was and she says "Great" and asks how mine was and I say "O.K." and
somehow we start talking about how I only feel like I really need a
girlfriend three or four days out of the month -- do NOT ask me how 1) we got on that topic, 2) how I suddenly found the chutzpah to even
discuss such a thing with someone who is both relatively "hot" and apparently single and 3) why I am so bizarrely cynical about this type of crap/interaction but at any rate -- the conversation proceeded thusly:
Hot Girl:Why?
Chick:Why, what?
Hot Girl:Why only 3 days a month? {asked with the sweetest lilt I think i've ever heard. She's Mexican I think. I think that's a
Mexican lilt...}
Chick:Oh... well... [let's all keep in mind that we're in an auditorium SURROUNDED by children and their fairly wholesome parental-types and I'm standing in the corner trying to arrange a little girl-on-girl action. Christ...] I mean, I have
really good friends so I'm sort of
covered as far as the whole conversation/entertainment/sympathy/diversion thing goes....
Hot Girl:So, what do you want three days a month?
Chick:ummm... well, I mean, sometimes it's just nice to get "close" to someone...
Hot Girl:{stares at me}...?
Chick:um... you know...
Hot Girl:{stares at me}??
Chick:{whispers}intimacy... you KNOW...
with someone...
Hot Girl:{remarkably loud for such a small person}You mean Booty calls??
Chick:{sheepishly scanning the room, smile}uh, yeah. Heh.
Hot Girl:Why can't you find anybody? You're cute.
Chick:Uh....
Hot Girl:Do you ask people?
Chick:Um....
Hot Girl:I mean, what do you do?
Chick:Uh, I dunno. I guess I just wait for someone to come along who's cute and who thinks I'm cute and who's also busy all the time and who I can have a conversation like this one with and who keeps smiling when I get to the part where I say 'I
REALLY am only interested in 'getting together' a coupla times a month.'
Hot Girl:{nods, produces pen and scrap of paper}{smiles}Call me.
Chick: {!!!!!} Um... O.K.
Sheesh! Of course there's no way
in hell I'm actually picking up a phone but still...! Actually, I don't know for sure if there's no way. My initial reaction was "Oh, yeah!" quickly followed by "Yeah, right." By the time the evening began to wend down and I remembered that the whole
POINT of the outting was to hang with
Family Guy and his
lovely wife (I promise I didn't know she was going to be there/nice to me/in any way receptive to my pathetic advances -- Sorry.) and I had rejoined tehm and finished with the introductions (that's right kids, she's
Boo's Gymnastics teacher) I'd settled on "Well, it's never going to happen but it was nice acting like it
might." But still, you really just never know once the ole hormones enter into it I'm really pretty much on autopilot....
So, there you have it folks - I pretty much
have to call onna counta she's
Boo's coach but do I actually ask her out in an attempt to try to get to know her incredibly flexible Capoiera toned body a little better or do I just let it ride?
I'm thinking Run and hide but I'll let
you,
my people, cast the deciding vote....
In other news, that
mondo-huge make me or break me project I was doing for work was presented by my fair self to the
Head Honcho on Friday and.... [drumroll, please] she LOVED IT!! {sound of cheers, flower petals floating softly to the ground all around my modestly bowed person} She wants to show it to everybody at a
huge manager meeting this coming
Thursday though which opens up a whole other can of worms in terms of actually
fixing some of the stuff I was cleverly hiding during yesterday's demo but
still, I have faith in
my team (now reduced to one -- luckily he's the
best one) and I am confident we shall prevail!!
{Sigh.} K. I think that's it. I'm only
really writing right now because I have to do a
ton of work on my
super-mondo-fantasmariffic school project tomorrow and i want to get this out of my system so I don't spend all day tomorrow
posting when I should be
working. Hope everyone's week-end is stellar! Chat with you all on
Monday! [see, now I'll be embarrassed if I try to post anything before then...]