Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Happy New year's Eve!!!!

All manner of Happy Happys, people! I hope each and every one of you gets laid tonight (unless you really don't feel like it in which case I hope everyone stays the hell away from you so you can get some sleep, dammit!) and furthermore, i sincerely hope that this coming year brings health, happiness and all manner of beauty into your otherwise crusty lives! Kisses to all of you!! {mwah! mawah!} See you next year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2003


This post contains venting of a "where's the soapbox??" nature so if you're adverse to such a thing (especially this early in the morning) here's a link to the truly twisted -- yet still strangely compelling world of ultra-realistic Japanese sex dolls! Enjoy!

[Actually this whole site is really just begging to be thoroughly explored -- don't miss the pics sent in by the little ladies' "foster parents" -- Makes you re-think the whole concept of "bringing em up right!"]

Which, BTW, segues nicely into my mini-rant for this morning entitled: "What the HELL is up with this concept that each and every child has a primal/primary bond to the two people (and only those two people) who donated his or her genetic stock??" I mean there is SOME agreement that it is possible that should these two individuals be dead or otherwise prove completely unfit to raise a child that maybe some sort of bizarre secondary bond can form (maybe) between the child and a non-one-off-genetically related caregiver -- say a grandparent or heaven forbid, a step-parent (same sex-second parent adoptive caregivers are ONLY permissable if the white picket fence is firmly in place, one parent stays home and everybody is super secure in their gender roles lest the child "get confused" as to whom the "mommy" really is -- do NOT even get me started about that one!!) and the thing is I'm really getting sick of it. I'm sick of people who i otherwise consider fairly intelligent shaking thier heads in wonder as they murmur crap like "That's just so amazing that you'd even consider adopting. i mean, I know I'd always sort of wonder about her real parents..." or "That's so cool that you can share Boo like that. I mean if she were my child I don't know if I could just give her away half the time..." And the always adorable flip-side to that statement: "Yeah, I mean, I've considered having a baby but there's just no way I could do it on my own! I mean a kid needs two parents right?"

Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I am NOT saying that children do not benefit from having two responsible committed adults in their lives who care about them and want to have a hand in raising them. Of course they freaking do! But responsible/commited/mature/gives-even-half-a-shit does not (let me repeat for emphasis) does NOT equal "biologically related" and it sure as hell doesn't always have to mean "functional part of a committed couple"... Sheesh! Sorry. It just really pisses me off that on the one hand we have working bio moms freaking out about their kids "getting too attached" to their nannies and on the other we have government institutions keeping kids in foster placements rather than giving them to proven, responsible single parents because someone somewhere decided that kids can only truly thrive in an environment where they are able to sufficiently bond with thier egg/sperm donors!!

k. {breathe} I think I'm done. Happy Tuesday everyone. How's the day working out for the rest of you?

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Does this make me a "Lady of Leisure"??

Ha Ha! Just got back from watching LOTR:Return of The King with the ever fabulous Travelin' Man! My goodness how kick-ass IS that movie??!

But first, Friday eve went with Bendy Girl to go see City of God which kicked my ass in terms of over the top unbelievableness that is apparently every day reality to people growing up in places like Bendy Girl grew up in... seriously, not a light film -- but good! I'd say excellent even. I was thinking about it way too much on Saturday so I self-medicated with a healthy dose of Grease 2 and by the time Stephanie and Michael shared that crucial last kiss I had managed to come out about even....

Sat. (when not spent watching the best movie the 80's ever produced) was mostly taken up by laundry-doing, kid-missing and make-up sleeping (can one REALLY make up for thirteen years of lost sleep though, really??) then on to today, Sunday, shopping with the famous Miss Tail (during which some TRULY fabulous shoes were purchased and "date" with BG was thoroughly analyzed -- nothing happened, but when one is a dyke even nothing deserves some scrutiny!) and finally hoooking up with the man, the myth, the idea guy himself, Travelin' Man for a little quality LOTR viewing... {sigh} kind of sucks that the kid had to be stolen from me for me to have such a very fun time gadding about with my pals but I guess, in the grand scheme of things, if one is to have one's child wrested from one's grip, there are definitely worse ways to spend the ensuing days...

Friday, December 26, 2003


Ladeez and Gentlemen...! Allow me to introduce the one -- the only -- the WebHostess with the Most-est... Chick... Magnet!!! {general roar of approval from an appreciative and obviously soused crowd} That's right folks, our gal Chick has managed to showcase her prodigious talent in just a right enough light as to convince the nice folks at Good Vibrations to hire her as their brand new eCommerce Manager !!!!!

Super cool things about this:

1) I get to work at the swankiest, girl-friendliest, co-opin'-est place currently in the sex biz world -- How cool is that??!
2) Ms. B is my boss! And she's normal![What is that I'm hearing?? A possible end to the rash of COMPLETE FREAK BOSSES who have had the good fortune of being able to label me thier own personal butt girl throughout the various peaks and valleys of my working career????] We heart Ms. B
3) Did I mention that it is now part of my job to play sex toys??
4) How very "time for a change" was it?? I mean, really...
5) Todd (Head ass current company) = ska-rewed! HaHaHaHa!!!!!!

Things that suck a little bit:

1) How much am I going to miss my boys???? (Tony, SigTau, Mistah Lovah Lovah, EP, Sir James, Family Guy -- you make my life here bearable and I'm so sad i won't be having you pop in unexpectedly and saving me from doing actual work... sniff I love you guys!!!)

2) I'm actually feeling bad about my little project. I mean, it's soooo almost there and it was kinda like the CyberBaby I never had and what if someone awful (El Torrito) gets put in charge of it and screws it all up??? {sigh, again}

3) And even if that someone doesn't screw everything up, i still kinda feel like I'm deserting my beautiful team who put in so much time nad effort and now I'm just walking away....

ah, well. You do whattacha gotta do right? People were building kick ass applications for computer asset tracking across large-scale insurance concerns long before i showed up and they will continue to after I've moved on... It's all relative i guess.

So, really, that's it. New job = me. Christmas was fabulous BTW, lots of downtime and hanging about with the child and CP (mostly with the child) before they flew off off off to the land of the LAs. And now, they're gone and I'm sad and child-missing but in general doing well....!

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Merry Christmas Eve!!!

Happy, Happy Holidays to all of you Sweethearts out there who follow (or just occassionally check in with) my semi-coherent musings. I love each and every one of you and I wish for nothing more than for you all to have a lovely day off and a toasty glass of eggnog! Kisses to everyone! Mwah! Mwah! (p.s. Make sure you stop by on Friday though. I have HUGE news that I can't share just yet onna counta 1. Nothing has been signed and 2. the "walls have ears" but I assure you, information of this calibre is sooooo worth the wait!) Anyway, Cheers to you all! {kiss on both cheeks} Bye now.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Green is NOT your color

I have a small child here at work with me today! Needless to say, I am just about as excited as it's possible for a human being to get! She is making a Monster Book. Yay! Having said that, I'll not be writing much today as i will be spending any "down time" staring at my child!

Because I love you all very much however, here's a link to keep you entertained [thanks Creepy!].


Monday, December 22, 2003


Just got back from, showing off our app to a room of potentially interested folks. There was lots of interest (although they were as impressed by the uber-cool mini-projector I brought to show it with as they were with the application but whatever, beggars can't be finicky or however that goes...) and I am happy (thrilled) that it is DONE! I also got some fancy new leads vis a vis this other huge part of the upcoming development phase so I'm pretty tickled right this second.

Now then, where were we??

Hullo folks! Long time no hear, eh? Gosh, It's is rare, I think that I feel "overwhelmed" I mean I always feel tired and like I've got fifteen tons of stuff to do every single second of my existence but, generally I'm pretty confident in my ability to get stuff done - nawhattamsayin'? The last week, though, sheesh, butts were kicked, my friends, butts were seriously kicked!

Anyway, where did we leave off with this little narrative? Ah yes, the Boo events. Boo events were awesome. On Thursday eve the kid and the rest of the 1st grade group got on stage and played air guitar to "We will rock you!" by Queen (which, seriously, if the very idea's not bringing tears to your eyes then you haven't the faintest idea what Christmas is really about!) then we all danced around like maniacs for a bit before heading out into the rainy night home to our super comfy (now that i fixed the heater- yay, me!) house. Friday was the official school winter assembly wherein my child played a drum and spoke (spake?) a line from a poem about Kwanzaa that her class had composed. Pretty damn cool, I'm tellin' ya! I like having a kid.

Saturday we had yet another show, this time in Boo's Acrobatics class which also was pretty ridiculously awesome; followed by brief appearance at Miss Tail's Hannukah Party where Boo throughly schooled me in Dreidel before the lights went out and we said our goodbyes -- then, yesterday, we went ice skating! Yup, that's right Chick strapped blades to her feet and ventured out onto a surface that was slicker than a plunging larid (e.g the Artic Tern) who got caught in the Valdez oil spill (dunno where that came from, sorry though... bonus link). The Boo's little buddy, Eli had his B-day party at the Yerba Buena Ice Skating rink and I just have to say, my little Boo-ster is such a natural! I, however, am not. Luckily noone fell so I wasn't really required to do much more than escort the kid slowly around the rink. I do have to admit though that she managed to end the day skating on her own, fairly far away from the wall. I... well, let's just say, I pretty much knew every scratch, dip and break that railing had to offer and couldn't probably sketch a farily accurate diagram of such by memory....

Was supposed to hang with Bendy Girl for a bit on Sunday but those plans had to be scuttled do to sudden skating/scheduling conflicts. I, of course called to apologize/grovel effusively and was informed that I had missed my one opportunity to get close to her as she had plans (big plans) for the rest of the month. Being nothing if not persistent, however, I managed to wheedle a mini date out of her this Friday eve (Whoo Hoo!) -- I promised to drive her around in my truck. Never, I repeat, never underestimate the appeal of a red ford Ranger with a customized rear bed on members of the fairer sex! Especially the butch ones, you'd think they'd be immune to it's myriad charms but dammit even boy-girls find it difficult resisting it's basic appeal!

Thursday, December 18, 2003

It's so funny because it's SO true!

K. just took the What advice would Christopher Walken give you? quiz by Quizilla and here are my results:

Ladies are your trouble!

"Okay....look....friend. You've gotta stop thinking about the girl. She...she lied to you -- your family knows it. Look, I know that stings, like a wasp, like a wasp with teeth, baby! Here's some walking around money. Take it from me, go and get yourself a new suit. Not one of those JC...Penny jobs, but a good suit. A nice fabric, like Wool. Get yourself a wool suit and enjoy yourself. See a cockfight, anything, pal? Look, you're number one."

{sigh} i mean, I always kinda knew it but it's different hearing Christopher say it, yaknow?
still tired. excited about my kid's event tonight but still tired......

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

and then, of course, there's this chick who I think I like better than Wanton Bliss by which I mean, I find WB entertaining and enlightening vis a vis gay-boy stuff but I am (sadly) not a gay boy and I just find writing with a girl-ey POV more compelling... I think... anyway. She's in my links now so go visit if you get a chance....

You're not sure what you can say about it. It's not exactly offensive. Not necessarily sexual. But it is really creepy for a boss to create a desk display comprised of three naked Barbie knockoff dolls, one of them with her left side apparently having been melted with a lighter, as it is now covered in black and beige ripples where the dripping plastic dried.

They're not in any sort of sexual position. Just standing side-by-side on the edge of the desk, the first thing you see when you come into his office. And their arms are up in the air and they're kind of kicking their legs out. It just looks like they're walking someplace, nude (and severely burned), and they just saw a friend they're really excited to see. They're shouting hello.

When you went in this morning, your boss alerted you to the new addition to the dolls. It was a little toy guitar leaning against one of them. He said, "See? They're a band."

- Pretty Girl

I want to write like this...

Lean your nose away from your book about a writer having trouble writing a book to kiss her scalp and breathe in the smell of her skull for ten minutes. Her skull contains her brain, and her brain is what reminds her that she's in love with you. You owe her brain big time, so give it some kisses. About ten minutes worth is adequate tribute. Then go back to reading your book about a writer having trouble writing a book.

- Pretty Girl


God, I am exhausted! Like really seriously tired. Bone tired. The kind of tired that cannot be addressed by simply "getting some sleep" -- nope, this is the type of tired that requires a glass of wine, a massage, and a good 14 hours of uninterupted rest to fix. Now, since I

1) have no wine at my house,
2) have nobody who feels like rubbing my body at my house and
3) have to get up and go to work approximately 8-10 hours after any point at which I'm going to get to bed tonight

I would have to say that all signs are pointing to: TIRED FOR THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE!!!! {sigh} o.k. I'm better now.

No i'm not dammit, I'm still tired!

And how did I get so very worn out, one might ask (not one who knows even a little bit about what I like to call a life but definitely something that might occur to a casual passer-by). Good question. By hanging out with my friends, chatting on the phone, finishing assignments etc., etc., etc. that's how. In other words, I am currently exhausted because I dared to attempt to stretch my life to accomodate some of the fun possibilities that suddenly made themselves available to me (!!) ! I know! What was I thinking??! So, yes, my current state is my own damn fault. Fine. still though... What would it take to build a life where the thought of chocolate, sex and sleep don't carry the EXACT same weight in terms of things I'd most like to indulge in right now... Actually, scratch those first two. I'd pretty much sell my soul for the last. mmmmmmmmm. sleeeep......

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Just a quick check-in

Setting up for the holiday party here at work and there are THINGS TO DO!!!!! Not really but there are those who think there are THINGS TO DO and so I must be in a constant state of standing upright lest I be labeled someone who has NOTHING TO DO???!

Anyway, big Boo performance plans over the next little bit. First, we have the Winter Sing on Thursday which will feature food and songs and drum pounding. Then, on Friday, Miss Boo will be featured in the School Holiday Assembly wherein she will recite a line from a Kwanzaa poem and lastly, Sat. the delightful child will delight and entertain we proud parents as she (and her class) show us a few of the skills they've picked up this last semester in their Acrobatics class! I, for one, can not wait!!! Now, since I know you're all feeling jealous and left out of the goodness that is Boo-performance right about now, know that I am attempting to arrange videotaping of at least one of the aforementioned events so if you're very nice to me.....

In other news, the Delightful Miss Tail, Missy Miss and the CP have returned from thier jaunt to the sunny reaches of Matzalan. I have not actually spoken to any of them yet but I did recieve check-in via Voice Mail and they sounded rested, tanned and chipper! Yay! I don't know about the others but Miss Tail (IMHO) sure seemed to need a break. That girl is doing some amazing things with her life but gosh, she makes me tired just thinking about the various concerns she tackles on a daily basis...

{sigh} o.k. I really want to continue with the rambling but I am apparently needed to stand in the kitchen area so I'm off off off...! Have a wonderful day my Little Snow Angels! Mommy, loves you all very much!

Monday, December 15, 2003

Well, Howdy there Honey!

How the heck are all my sweet little peeps? I am good. Week-end was GREAT! Bendy Girl sighting went well (well, actually it went kind of serious cause EVERY SINGLE ADULT PERSON in the auditorium suddenly decided they needed to have a word with MY new girlfriend -- KIDDING about the "girlfriend" thing BTW; just a little humour. Trying to keep things light...! BBQ, OG, everybody, breathe....) so we didn't really get to talk all that much and when we did Boo was sad so we were all being serious. I did check in with her later though and she and the Boo had a stellar little phone based tete a tete so I'm thinking it'll all be good.

Next, Boo and I tackled our fifty thousand errands and actually accomplished an amazing amount in an astonishingly short time (for some reason all the lines we were in were really miniscule -- dunno why, but hey, I'm not looking any gift pachyderms in the mouth....!) And we got a tree! We got a great live tree -- it's a Norfolk pine and it's beautiful! It's a cool shape too, not triangular like a standard (dead) tree but more "frondy"... Anyway, Boo picked it out and she also picked out the beautiful chinese patterned pot we planted it in and I am so excited because (theorhetically) we can just move it outside (??) when we're done with the X-mas holiday celebrations and perhaps use it again next year. I, of course say perhaps because we all know I tend to kill plants faster than you can say Rice Crispy Treats ("Rice Krispy Treats!!") But I will try to make a good faith effort!

Finally, yesterday was my company holiday party. It was at Teatro Zinzanni which was grand; very festive and all that. Super-huge shout out to the fabulous Best Buddy Q for providing some quality Boo watchage. My kid loves you guys and she was so looking forward to hanging out with you! She kept saying "Is it 4:00 yet?" -- seriously, she had a really great time. Thank you sooooo much. Also thanks to Pretty Boy who was the best date a girl could want. You make me feel like a big ole girl whenever I'm around you and, dammit, I like it! Thanks for being in my life and thanks for being such a pal!

Hmmmmm...... let's see. what else...? Fixed my heater this morning. I am sooooo the gal about the house these days... OH! and my Baby Brother might be putting in an appearance next Tuesdee for a coupla days which is not only very great, but it alleviates the necessity for me to lug all their gifts to the Postal Office for shipping! Yay! Siblings rock! I strongly urge everyone to go out and get some!

K. I think that's it. Lunching today with BBQ then back to work to tie up a few party details. Nothing crucial/stress inducing... all in all I'm thinking today will be a very restful day.....

Friday, December 12, 2003

Happy happy happy!

Today I am happy! Now, I've been happy before (I've been pretty happy for awhile now, actually) but today is the first day in a very long time that I've woken up knowing that there's not a single thing i have to turn in or prepare for or present today so while I still need to snap the hell into Christmas mode and commence with the shopping, X-mas tree buying, gift wrapping, present shipping, etc., etc., etc. -- I'm feeling remarkably calm right this second. Plus, I get the see Bendy Girl tomorrow (yay! although wierd cause it's, of course, in the context of my child's class so I have to act like I'm pleased to see her while at the same time hiding my desire to push her up against a wall and just freaking GET ON with the making out!!) Then I get to see both my BBQ and my Pretty Boy on Sunday! Seriously, if i sat right down and made a list of scintillating persons who I was most interested in spending some quality time staring at the vast majority of it would be covered by the end of this week-end!

Also, this morning heard from the Landpeeps that we're getting a new neighbor who also has a little girl so hopefully she will be cool and her child will be swell and Boo will have a friend to play with who lives right in front of us! Yay, again!

K. I'm out. Belated shout-out to the girl I like on her award-winning accomplishment earlier this week. She rocks and I hope there are people fairly close to her letting her know that on a daily (if not hourly) basis!

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Quick update re: school project - Lovely Professor received, lovely professor liked, lovely professor left what has got to be the world's sweetest message on my machine about how brillant/wonderful/cute I am [o.k. she didn't say the "Cute" part but it was there, between the lines!] so we are not only all good in terms of overall acceptable project completion, we are also fairly well fixed for a mid-break teacher-student hook-up at some point during the next coupla weeks to discuss my little game "at length" heh heh heh...

In the zone!

Sorry, I just read that on a friend's post and thought it would be ironic to the nth degree to use it on MY site so there you have it!


The date.

The date went well. Can I just take a minute here to admit to something? On some very intrinsic level I think I'm prejudiced against boys. Not like I don't like them or anything but i think I assume they're pretty simple. Again, I mean that in the best possible sense of the word -- not trying to cast aspersions on any the fabulous boys who currently so have my back and are making my existence, in some very intrinsic ways, worth living; I'm just saying, the way I relate to boys that I like is so completely (freakishly almost) different from the way I act around girls that I like. That's the main qualifier BTW. "That I like." I tend to treat my friends the same regardless of gender identification although I have noticed I'm far more likely to just randomly decide to sleep with my boy friends than I am with my girl friends. More on that later. Maybe. Probably not though.

Anyway... thing is, if i like a boy and we're alone I just flat out jump on him. Even if I'm not sure I like them or we're just hanging out being buddies but something has occurred (alcohol, boredom, witty conversation, etc.) that makes me realize that it might not be such a bad thing to commence with the macking, I'll still just kind of jump on them. My assumption in these cases is that 1) If they are not interested they will just pull away, slap me and start sobbing (kidding!) or 2) If they are into the sudden physical contact that it will continue until we're both tired/bored/hungry at which point we will break for sleep/TV/and/or food and that will be that. Included in this is the assumption that there won't be any of that "So, what do we do now/where are we going with this/what do we do about your existing girlfriend?" nonsense at the end.

Seriously, I could spend all night licking some boy's body and still act all surprised and shocked when they mention that it might be nice to go grab some breakfast together. With girls, on the other hand, I assume there's going to be future crap to work out before I even know the chick's last name so I put all this energy into trying to figure everything out before we even get started. It's wierd. I mean, I'm on this date and I'm really wanting to just kiss this girl and I can't because I'm afraid she'll "take it the wrong way." And even I'm not sure what I mean by that. All I know is, I don't want to offend her, I don't want to put myself out there to get rejected, and basically I'm spending all my time sitting there trying to find clues as to whether or not she likes me in the way she holds her latte -- it's pathetic.

So, back to that date thing....

The date was nice. Bendy Girl is hot! She is incredibly cute and the fact that she's relatively normal, basically sweet and completely in love with the kids she teaches just adds to her overall kissablility. Plus, she kept taking her clothes off. Granted she was wearing like sixteen layers but still! it's disconcerting when someone whom you think is cute, suddenly decides mid-conversation to stand up and pull off their sweater -- and their sweatshirt -- and their rain pants...Nice. Unbelievably sexy, but disconcerting all the same.

Now then, having said all that, I must now put it out there that the Chick-ster did not get smooched last night {sorrowful cries ring out from the balcony}. The two of us did, however, manage to draft a preliminary contract, work out some of the more pertinent rules of our engagement and to reach a consensus vis a vis the relative attractiveness of the two of us so I actually think there's some chance (about 15%) in hell that I'll be seeing exactly what a concentrated Capoeria regimine can do to a body up close and personal in the near future! Maybe. As it stands we have tentative plans to perhaps get together and continue our discussions at some point during the next two weeks, so we'll see how it goes.


Sometimes, I wish boys had breasts!

Oh! and speaking of boys, big super-huge shout out to Travelin' Man who has parts of my back I didn't even know existed! Thank you soooo much for looking out in terms of entertaining things to do about town, potential job opportunities, and ways to allow Chick to be closer to power tools. You rock!

Wednesday, December 10, 2003


Done. I am done.

I'm still done.

Yup. still done.

wierdest thing, I woke up this morning feeling like it was Monday but not like "F***! It's f***ing Monday!!" more like "Ahhhh, fresh new week, fresh clean slate...." Very strange. Anyway.

I turned in the project last night. my teacher wasn't there (she had scheduled another meeting right after ours and thought we were meeting half an hour earlier than we really were -- I'm o.k. with this because I know that she is really just on a fairly basic level COMPLETELY in love with me and the thought of this being our last meeting this semester was tearing her up inside so she "forgot" the time for our appointment and subsequently had to leave before I showed up. Whatever. It happens.) so, I left my game (that's right folks, I made the world's coolest Policy/Inclusion/Empowerment game. I'll post pictures of it next semester when/if I can steal it back for a few minute -- otherwise you'll just have to wait for the public version soon to be released by Mattel [jk]) and high tailed it home where I then spent the evening NOT READING/WRITING about education but instead trying on every single item of clothing I own in preparation for the Holiday party on Sunday which our own Pretty Boy has agreed (after only minor amounts of pleading/monetary bribes) to accompany me to... K. Can I just say, Holiday parties are an interesting animal. On the one hand you need to get "dressed up" but on the other it's still "work" so your normal dress-up/ho-bag clothes aren't necessarily appropriate and if you're me, your only other option clothing-wise is "week-end wear" which, if it's not ripped, stained and/or wrinkled it probably didn't fit right and is waiting to be returned to Crossroads -- I did find one killer skirt which I forgot I owned and a pair of super high red heels so at least my bottom half will represent... Maybe I'll go looking for something cute on Sat. in between starting/completing all my holiday shopping, taking the Boo to her class, cleaning my house, ridding my refrigerator of ants and checking in with the Caseworker re: the total lack of available children/the supreme suckiness of being told (yet again) that I "sound great!" and am "next in line" for a kid whose currently being placed with a "two-parent family." Apologies to all those "two-parent families" out there but c'mon! I'll put our little selves up against the vast majority of you schmoes any day of the goddamn week and I guarantee you I'll raise the less f***ed up kid! Sorry, just had to vent. I'm fine now.

oooops! meeting time. i'll write more later if I get a chance. Otherwise, Happy Wednesday! C'mon people, Rock it like you mean it!!

Monday, December 08, 2003

Date! Me and Bendy Girl! Wednesday! EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!

Saturday, December 06, 2003

A vote!

A very nice woman agreed to have sex with me today. That is, I think she did. We were at an event with Family Guy and his adorable family (seriously, I don't think I've ever met an entire family that seemed so freaking sweet! It was a little eerie actually, like he went out and hired these people to represent the various family persons who'd i'd already heard so much about and already formed a pretty stellar opinion of -- although, I guess in retrospect they did match the photos he's got on his desk... anyway, a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e! The whole damn brood!) and this girl, whom I've mentioned before, and I start with the chinwag and I ask how her Thanksgiving was and she says "Great" and asks how mine was and I say "O.K." and somehow we start talking about how I only feel like I really need a girlfriend three or four days out of the month -- do NOT ask me how 1) we got on that topic, 2) how I suddenly found the chutzpah to even discuss such a thing with someone who is both relatively "hot" and apparently single and 3) why I am so bizarrely cynical about this type of crap/interaction but at any rate -- the conversation proceeded thusly:

Hot Girl:Why?
Chick:Why, what?
Hot Girl:Why only 3 days a month? {asked with the sweetest lilt I think i've ever heard. She's Mexican I think. I think that's a Mexican lilt...}
Chick:Oh... well... [let's all keep in mind that we're in an auditorium SURROUNDED by children and their fairly wholesome parental-types and I'm standing in the corner trying to arrange a little girl-on-girl action. Christ...] I mean, I have really good friends so I'm sort of covered as far as the whole conversation/entertainment/sympathy/diversion thing goes....
Hot Girl:So, what do you want three days a month?
Chick:ummm... well, I mean, sometimes it's just nice to get "close" to someone...
Hot Girl:{stares at me}...?
Chick:um... you know...
Hot Girl:{stares at me}??
Chick:{whispers}intimacy... you KNOW... with someone...
Hot Girl:{remarkably loud for such a small person}You mean Booty calls??
Chick:{sheepishly scanning the room, smile}uh, yeah. Heh.
Hot Girl:Why can't you find anybody? You're cute.
Hot Girl:Do you ask people?
Hot Girl:I mean, what do you do?
Chick:Uh, I dunno. I guess I just wait for someone to come along who's cute and who thinks I'm cute and who's also busy all the time and who I can have a conversation like this one with and who keeps smiling when I get to the part where I say 'I REALLY am only interested in 'getting together' a coupla times a month.'
Hot Girl:{nods, produces pen and scrap of paper}{smiles}Call me.
Chick: {!!!!!} Um... O.K.

Sheesh! Of course there's no way in hell I'm actually picking up a phone but still...! Actually, I don't know for sure if there's no way. My initial reaction was "Oh, yeah!" quickly followed by "Yeah, right." By the time the evening began to wend down and I remembered that the whole POINT of the outting was to hang with Family Guy and his lovely wife (I promise I didn't know she was going to be there/nice to me/in any way receptive to my pathetic advances -- Sorry.) and I had rejoined tehm and finished with the introductions (that's right kids, she's Boo's Gymnastics teacher) I'd settled on "Well, it's never going to happen but it was nice acting like it might." But still, you really just never know once the ole hormones enter into it I'm really pretty much on autopilot....

So, there you have it folks - I pretty much have to call onna counta she's Boo's coach but do I actually ask her out in an attempt to try to get to know her incredibly flexible Capoiera toned body a little better or do I just let it ride?

I'm thinking Run and hide but I'll let you, my people, cast the deciding vote....

In other news, that mondo-huge make me or break me project I was doing for work was presented by my fair self to the Head Honcho on Friday and.... [drumroll, please] she LOVED IT!! {sound of cheers, flower petals floating softly to the ground all around my modestly bowed person} She wants to show it to everybody at a huge manager meeting this coming Thursday though which opens up a whole other can of worms in terms of actually fixing some of the stuff I was cleverly hiding during yesterday's demo but still, I have faith in my team (now reduced to one -- luckily he's the best one) and I am confident we shall prevail!!

{Sigh.} K. I think that's it. I'm only really writing right now because I have to do a ton of work on my super-mondo-fantasmariffic school project tomorrow and i want to get this out of my system so I don't spend all day tomorrow posting when I should be working. Hope everyone's week-end is stellar! Chat with you all on Monday! [see, now I'll be embarrassed if I try to post anything before then...]

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Happy Birthday!

Today is my beautiful Professor's birthday! Happy Birthday, Pof. Ketelle, you and everyone like you are what make my world livable! Give your mom a big squeeze for me next time you see her.

K. in a remarkably good mood right now given that I arrived at work today to find at least three MAJOR un-finished tasks that my boss (El Torrito - who is out for four weeks as of yesterday) didn't "have a chance to finish" and left for me to do. This is particularly funny because when I left on Tuesdee I specifically ASKED if she was good with everything and she said "yes". Why are people so lame? Actually, that's not true, I just had a very cheery conversation with a lady here at work who is soooo not lame (in fact she's so very intimidating that I can barely talk to her in spite of the fact that she's always very pleasant when we run into each other. And we wonder why the Chick-ster isn't hooking up on a more regular basis??!) Speaking of which (I'm going to go ahead and take this out of the parenthesees because I'm rambling and rambling has no truck with "containment") there's this girl at school (ex-school now, Whoo Hoo!) that I'm physically attracted to but who, personality-wise, irritates the hell out of me. Now don't laugh but this is somewhat unique to my experience because I usually think people are cute until I get to know them then, when they prove idiotic, they become less attractive to me. Nawattamean? This is the first demonstrable incident in a very long while (let's watch as Chick convieniently forgets her 20's) wherein it has been shown to me numerous times that this chick is annoying (not Dirty Boy annoying-yet-still-in-some-sick-way-fascinating, but annoying-boring) and pedestrian and classist and smug yet still I cannot stop staring at her ass. The girl has an amazing ass. And she's cute. She's standing there arguing with me about how if homeless people really wanted help/work/affordable housing they could find it (easily) and I'm thinking "What the hell are you talking about, you Moron! God, you're pretty!" Anyway. Last class was yesterday and she comes up and says how great it was to have me in class and how we should "keep in touch" and can she have my number -- not like that you perverts, she militantly hetero -- and we should go have coffee and I'm thinking "are you kidding??! I can't find time to hang out with people I approve of and you want me to hang out with your sorry ass?? mmmm.. your ass... which I guess is truthfully not all that sorry... 5-1-0...." I know. I am weak and pathetic. but seriously, before you go judging you have got to see this girl's butt...

Wednesday, December 03, 2003


Two down, one to go... But first, know what's the coolest part about assisting with the holiday dressing of one half of a gorgeous couple? The half you're NOT dressing may just decide to trot out her fine ass tuxedo duds and give wife a little show as well! I'm telling you folks, I didn't plan on having the world's sexiest friends, it just kind of turned out that way!

k. so, anyway, two papers have been officially turned in. I spend the coming week working on THE PROJECT and then we are done done done until January 16th!!!!!! I'm so excited, I may just cry...

Terror Girl is still being mean to the Boo. She hit her today. No worries, however, Ms. CP is going to go to school tomorrow and cut off her arms or something so we're all good. (See, we do agree on some stuff!)

I am sitting here watching The OC. Not because I want to but because I don't have a paper to work on and because I've finally discovered where Lane's boyfriend escaped to! See, now there's the problem. I don't need another overwrought teen drama a la 90210 to have to follow just because I happen to think Adam Brody is brillant! Gah! Kill me now! And is it just me or are those new Target ads where everything is red and kind of uber mo-dearne SCARY?? I mean seriously, everyone's all slow-mo and way too thin... Creeps me out...

And why did Pink stop working with Linda Perry? What the hell?? Ah, well, I'm not jumping off her bandwagon just yet but that girl better watch herself, nawattamsayin'?

Aaaaarrrrgggggg!!!!!! Why am I watching this???! o.k. must. stop. watching. this. crap. Ah, this is better. Some Ice Cube movie dubbed into Spanish -- Zona Prohibida! {sigh} ah, well, what's one complete waste of a half hour gonna hurt?

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

random conversations about girls

at the Degas exhibit:

Lady: He's considered a great artist because he was so good at capturing the female form.
Lady's kid (age=10ish): Are these real ballerinas?
Lady: Of course not! Real ballerinas aren't that heavy....

in my livingroom:

Boo: {watching a video; leaping around the room pretending she's Gwen Steffani, now confused because Ms. Steffani has stopped leaping and is now crouching down on the stage looking small and timid} What's she doing?
Chick: She's being small and afraid.
Boo: Why?
Chick: Because the song is about how some people think girls are tiny and afraid and not very strong...
Boo: {looking at Chick like she is completely making stuff up - one eyebrow raised and everything} You're kidding.
Chick: No, really. She's acting it out.
Boo: {quiet for a second, then commences to leaping around again} Whatever. I'm not afraid!

on the way to truck this morning:

Old Guy: Hey Baby Girl!
Chick: {looking around} Me?
Old Guy: {nods, waves} What you know that's new?
Chick: Not alot, actually. {Old Guy nods.} I'm "Baby Girl"? I thought my little girl was "Baby Girl"
Old Guy: She is. You're both Baby Girls! {winks} You're never too old to be a Baby Girl...{waves one more time then shuffles away.}
Chick: Hmmm.

on the street in front of work (no lie):

Chick: {accosting Girl standing in front of Rite Aid with tattoo on shoulder that says "Baby Girl" in fancy script} Hey!
Chick: I was JUST having a conversation with some old guy about "Baby Girl"!
GSIFORAWTTSBG: You know her??
Chick: Who?
Chick: oh, uh no. just... I mean I just thought it was weird cause I was just talking to this guy...
GSIFORAWTTSBG: Oh. {Confused} He knows her?
Chick: No. It's complicated actually. We were just talking about the words....
Chick: Baby.Girl.
Chick: Um... well, anyway. I just thought it was weird.
Chick: k. bye.

Monday, December 01, 2003


Sitting here waiting for the nice people at Network Solutions to stop whatever the hell it is they're doing and pay attention to me Goddammit!! So thought I might as well check in. I Know, I've been a bit lax re: blog entries for my loyal/addicted/slightly stalker-esque public and for that I humbly apologize. I am at the tail end of my semester at school and as such have fifty thousand papers due so any time that can be spent typing tends to go more toward papering than blogging - single notable exception being yesterday whilst I was here attempting to make application stuff work but, there you have it. Papers will be turned in on Tuesdee and Wed. respectively then fabulous "special" project needs to be completed by following Tuesdee then I am free, free, free! to blog, blog, blog!!! HaHaHa! eh, hem... sorry. moving on. well not really. I'm actually trying to finish up some stuff so really this is all you get for right now.... Chick=blogtease!