Monday, February 27, 2006

What I should have said...

Consider the following conversation had between my child and a little girl she considers her "best friend" upon the instance of said "best friend" receiving an invitation to a party my kid is throwing that happens (unfortunately) to fall on the same date as another child's party which "best friend" also wants to go to...

Boo: [handing BF an invite] Here's the invitation. My party is on the Sunday.
BF:You can't have it on Sunday. OG's party is on Sunday.
BF:Have it on another day.
Boo:I can't. I already gave out all the invitations...
BF:So. Tell everyone you're changing it. Make new ones.
Boo:But these took a really long time to make.
BF:That's your fault. You shouldn't have made them so detailed. make new ones that are white. Change the party to next week and make new invitations. I can come next week.

Now, to my Boo's credit, her response to this was:

Boo:no. I don't want to.

And of, course, later when she told me about it, adding that her BF's bossy tone and "bossy-face" had made her feel bad, I responded in an appropriately reasonable, adult manner

Me:Well, then what did you say?
Boo:I said "no." That I already had to move it once but she got mad and walked away.
Me:Hmmm. Well, do you think that's because she felt bad because she really wanted to go to both parties and now it looks like she has to choose?


Me: [actual response] Hmmm. Well, I think it's mean to try to get you to change just because she wants you to! It's your party. You can have it whenever you want!
Boo:Yeah. Do you think she maybe felt bad because she couldn't come?

Yes, folks, that's the 8-year-old being empathetic not me... God, I'm sucky at this whole "role model" thing...

Sunday, February 26, 2006


CP has taken Boo to LA for some birthday THING and I miss her. [the Boo, not CP.] Granted they've technically only been gone for approximately 2 hours and 17 minutes but still...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The mix tape...

So, I'm making a hip hop mix tape for my littlest one and I told the big girl I'd make her a tape as well and what bands did she want on it. Her answer "Beatles, Monkees and HalCaliI'd be horrified if the CP and I weren't directly responsible...

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Check these out!

Now I know the vast majority of you may never feel the need to explain why "flesh" colored band-aids are actually that sort of wierd off-peach color but if you happen to have multi-hued kids who are approaching the 7-8 age, let me tell ya, the subject comes up alot! Do yerself a favor and go get these instead. Sure band-aids that recognize skin tone difference probably aren't gonna save the world or anything but one less bit of potentially-internalized-default/primary/"better"-ethnicitiscm to have to explain away goes a long way in my life!

Meet the Boo!

Ha! so Pretty Boy called last night to "chat" and before he got me, he got the Boo. I know this because I saw her go answer the phone then indulge in quite the lengthy conversation before she hung up, walked into the livingroom and said "Pretty Boy wants you to call him." (!!) I, of course, am dying to know what they discussed onna counta the last time PB interacted with the Boo she was 3 and covered in paint. Plus I know how grown-ups get about her (flustered/silly/possessive - just like I do, only I'm allowed onna counta the stitches and stuff), plus when I called him back he was all "Wow!" and "Man, I had no idea" and "She's ony eight???" This, to me simply points to the fact that all those hours I've spent talking to him about the sheer overall perfection of my children he was not paying attention/thinking about my butt but I can live with that. :-]

In other news, I've got a Fairy Princess here with me in a dress of frothy blue and pink. She's trying to get Boo to dress up in the other (slightly larger, faaaarrrr more frothy) version but Big Sis is pre-occupied with locating a small, stuffed bear named Pirouette whose gone missing.

So, back to Pretty Boy -- When I finally got past all the "Gee, whiz" stuff and we started talking about the lives, he mentioned that he wanted to "talk" more and I got all paranoid like this was yet another version of the "got a new girlfriend/I just not interested in schtupping you anymore" speech but no. He did just want to talk. Hmmm. Talking to the person you sleep with.... Interesting.....

Friday, February 17, 2006

I have no idea what's wrong with me...

I'm tired. I also feeling a little lonely and discontented but I don't know why. Everything in my life is beyond great. I mean, sure, I'd like a little vacation but honestly, I've got nothing to complain about. Must be the weather....

Thursday, February 16, 2006

For the record...

DB, this is the second stupidest decision you've ever made.

Now then, who has a 2.5 year old who can count BACKWARDS from 10??? I realize the genetic connection to Magnet brillance is sketchy at best but still, it sure as heck looks like there's another fairly strong strain of genius sprinkled liberally throughout my baby girl's lineage!

To Mistah L-L... What???! Just kidding. I'm gonna call you back, soon. Like today. I've been very busy being very over everything but now I'm better and will return your calls. promise. :-]

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Since I was UP anyway, I decided to go to my kid's Valentimes Day party at school -- when I got there, all the kids were dancing around like full-grown maniacs (I swear there's something just a little suspicious about the fact that there are 3rd graders who are taller than me...just sayin'...) and they were singing to the 1985 song and I thought it was so cute having them all yelling about "Springsteen, Madonna, way before Nirvana, there was U2 and Blondie and music still on MTV!" and one of them stops leaping around and says to the other one all serious -like "that's the Madonna that's here now but not old." Eh hem...!

Other big, little girl was also treated to V. Day bag full of goodies plus an ballon that she was so excited about she forgot about the bag of stuff. I just showed it to her again and she got all indignant, like why hadn't I pointed out the chocolate earlier???? Very cute.
Sweet, Sweet, Sweet! From out of the grand state of Tex-ass the beautiful and effervescent OG has seen fit to send us THE nicest box of Velentimes gifties! She sent Boo a Hat/shawl thing, Spark a quilt (a pretty nice one, actually...!) and me a really nice card and a set of pillowcases that say "No Sleepwalking!" all over them which references this HUGELY hilarious joke between the two of us (which prolly wouldn't be half so hilarious to the rest of ya'all so I'll spare you) and which I LOVE! Thank you, Sweetheart! (Almost makes me feel bad that I made you take the boy back... almost. ;-])

Hawaiian Kitty!

Who found the only remaining Hello Hawaii Kitty (Brown!) in the downtown San Francisco area yesterday so she could add it to her kid's V. Day bag today? Quick follow up question: Who's officially THE best parent EVER! Um. Yeah. That would be me.

Conversation had this morning:

Me: Go away
"Ex-Roomie": C'mon...
Me: I'm SICK.
ER: So, that means you're not going to work anyway.
Me: I'm dying!
ER: I'm leaving....
Me: About time.
ER: C'mon...
Me: No!
ER: {leaves room. mumbled phone conversation} Are you gonna drive me or not???
Me: NO! I. am. sick. I am not getting out of this bed!
ER: {standing in doorway looking annoyed -- into phone}... yeah, I should be there about 8:00. O.K. Yeah. O.K. Love you to. Bye. {looking at me}
Me: What?
ER: ...
Me: Jesus, it's not like you couldn't just catch the BART.
ER: ...
Me: Stop it.
ER: ...
Me: aaarrrrgggggg! Fine! FINE! I will drive your lazy ass to the freaking airport. God! What is it with you? Why are you completely incapable of doing anything by yourself or for yourself?? You know, you're a bigger baby than the baby, you know that??? She got up early yesterday, got herself dressed and made herself some breakfast fer chrissakes! When was the last time you did anything for yourself that didn't involve a skateboard, or getting into someone's pants or ---
ER: {smile}
Me: What?!
ER: {hunching down next to the bed, still smiling} Thank you.

Happy Trails, Darlin.' Have a good flight. Give the kids my best -- you can keep what's left over...

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Just found out that Jamie Lee Curtis is Jake's God Mother which is just delightful since it pretty much goes without saying that we (Jake and I) will eventually hook up and I've ALWAYS wanted to meet her...!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

PLUS, it's got one of the best lines/delivery i think I've ever heard in a "modern movie":

Alma: You know, your friend can come in for coffee if he wants.
Ennis: He's from Texas.
Alma: what. they don't drink coffee in texas?

Brillant! i know, I'm obsessed. i'll stop.
I was all set to go straight too...! Thinking it might be easier to just freaking give in, find some boy and start sharing laundry-duty. Fuckers. Fucking heterosexual-dominated-culture-putting-everyone-into-fucking-boxes-then-fucking-crucifying-them-if-they-try-to-claw-their-way-out, A-holes! eh, hem. sorry. Still a little "affected" by some of the themes in that movie. Back to your regular programming...

the Brokeback bandwagon

O.K. so I finally saw this movie. my god. It was sooooooooo good. I'm almost afraid to write about it because everything I've read so far seems insipid and surfacey sounding. It's like trying to analyze why Lyle is so alluring. I mean you can DO it but it just seems like you either end up taking out all the feeling ("several effective plot devices come into play but the pacing is at times tedious and the ending could use some tightening")or being completely reductionist ("Gay Cowboy movie", "typical love story", "insightful study of what it means to be male in this culture") or sounding sappy ("My own Brokeback mountain happened during Gulf War..."). I don't want to be any of that but at the same time, jeesus, what a great movie. Made me mad but hell, I'd love to see it again!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Vote Magnet in 2016!

So, me and the Little Brother were once again discussing our plans for the Presidency in 2016 [Big Bro in office, me on the sidelines managing "spin", Little Bro = Attorney General and buddy Bo at the UN. We've got a chart and everything!] and we got to talking about walls.

LB:Thing is, you run up against a wall, you need to just stop a minute and figure something else out.
Chick:Yeah, but see, that's just us. Some people don't quite grasp the "wall-ness" of it and they keep running into it thinking it's going to soften up or turn into something else...
LB:Or they ignore it. Act like it doesn't exist...
Chick:Or they decide it's a good thing. Like it's a really great idea to have a wall there and if there wasn't one there for some reason they'd take it upon themselves to build one!
Chick:I'm just sick of it. i just wish people would just walk up to the damn thing and have at it with a freaking jackhammer!
LB:or go around it. No use tearing it down. You could maybe use it for something later. A wall's a wall.
Chick: Hm. I guess....

See. That's why he gets to be AG.

Monday, February 06, 2006

It makes no scents...!

Yes, that's right, 38 years old and reduced to making bad puns. Why, you ask? You Chick -- you of all people, shockingly literate, verbally inclined, redundant without a! O.K. sorry. Maybe you're not asking but I'll tell you anyway. Yours truly received in the mail today an adorably wrapped gift from a certain "Store Stylin'" someone in Texas who has decided that if I "am going to be 40 soon" and if I "choose to continue in this life mascarading as a woman" then I need a scent. A scent which this Angel-Boy was good enough to enclose. A scent with which I know not what to do. Now don't get me wrong, I am WELL aware of the effect certain scents can have on the masses -- in fact I have been known to ply certain masses with specially selected scents if only so they can participate (however unwittingly) in my self-delusional-world-filled-with-amazingly-smelling-people-who-actually-talk-to-me behavior... and it's not like the scent in question isn't brillant. It is. I spritzed the teeniest tiniest bit imaginable onto my sleeve and instantly got this insatiable urge to snuggle into my own wrist so I could live there forever. No, it's more a sense of timing. I've never really used scent and unlike makeup/clothes/men I have no idea when is the appropriate time to drag em out of the ole mothballs and go to town. Part of me thinks, save it for a "special occassion" but really, I have two kids, the occasional "20-something/slacker" on my couch and a f-buddy who I only call upon when I'm "spinning"/will DIE without some bodily attention Stat. [ed note. that last bit only makes sense to anyone who's ever tried to conceive using anything other than fresh sweaty man semen but I guarantee you, they are soooo "there with me" right now... eh, hem] so, honestly, what constitutes "special"? Birthday? Passed. Master's? Done. PhD? Not in this lifetime. ANY sort of recognition for all the hard work I'm putting in at the office? Ditto. Ha! (kidding. only not really...) I never go "out" anymore, I'm allergic to dating, it would be highly suspicious if I started showing up to my "independent study" time with my brillant professor awash in an alluring new fragrance... so... what...? Thoughts? suggestions? Is this like brushing my teeth every other morning, should I just go ahead and do it...just because?????

Sunday, February 05, 2006

so here's what I just realized. I write. That's what I do. i write e-mail all day at work, I write papers for school, I make shopping lists, compose chatty letters, document what appears to be the better part of my life on this thing yet and still, any time I need a slip of paper (mind you, I am surrounded by already-used paper. Piles of it...!) to jot down a confirmation number or upon which to write a list of movies I wouldn't mind someday owning, I couldn't find a blank piece of scratch paper to save my life. Why is that?????

CONGRATULATIONS, Mistah L-L and the Beautiful K.!!!!!!

Here's wishing the very best to two of the most wonderful people ever to grace the planet -- kudos for finally getting through the nuptial part of your relationship without once again incurring the wrath of the hurricane gods! You guys rock and I am so happy for you. The fact that you not only managed to find each other, like each other and commit to each other astounds me but I'm glad someone managed it. That being said, from this point forward, my faith in the entire institution rests squarely on your honorable shoulders. Try not to let me down.... :-]

Wednesday, February 01, 2006


Does anyone have a sexier singing guy voice than Toby Keith???? Um, that's gonna be no -- but what about Lyle? What about George?? While I'll give you that both of these gentlemen have voices to-die-for as well as pretty much corner the market on sheer-brilliance when it comes to composition/delivery (plus Lyle is about as attractive as the law allows in this country) but still... There's something about the way Toby sings "You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands -- I`d still look like a fool in front of your friends"
that makes me just really have to stop whatever it is I'm doing and have a little sit down ...

In other news: Took the littlest one to the ENT Specialist yesterday to see about this whole sleep apnea/possibly enlarged adenoids thing she may or may not have going on and while she was brilliant (a complete and total angel throughout the entire 2.25 hours wait!)the doctor we ended up seeing was kind of annoying. He kept saying she needs to clean the "candy" out of her mouth before he could see her tonsils despite the fact that I kept saying "candy? She's not eating candy. Do you mean 'chips'??" which may seem like not that huge an issue but I think it nicely reflects the man's overall inability to HEAR me when I asked about anything else. Waste of time, if you ask me. Next step is a "sleep clinic" where they hook my Baby up to a bunch of electrodes then expect her to sleep (!!) and, in case you're wondering, should the final diagnosis come back as "yes, enlarged adenoids/apenea disorder" then we start talking about "tonscillectomy" which is just soooooo not gonna happen in my world. (I mean if it HAS to it has to but I'm sure as heck am not gonna allow folks to start ripping random bits out of my kid based on "it might help...") Anyway....