Friday, August 29, 2003

k. i'm back. Just had to step on over to Discount Builder's Supply and see if I could get a little "contact high" from all the contractor types whose actual job it is to fix stuff all day. (!!) My adorable, Lumber-cutting-crush-guy is still there (sheesh, it's gotta be like 15 years that he's been over there cutting up stuff... I love him beause - among other things - he's completely sarcastic and annoyed acting yet at the same time spent the better part of an entire day helping me sketch, estimate, select and cut the wood for my kid's loft then turned around and charged me like 1.50 "for cuts" which, for those of you in the know, is ridiculously cheap and really very nice. Plus he's got sexy hands...) he smiled at me and shook his head and I just MELTED! Eh, hem... anyways (see, now I'm in a crushy mood cause Professor K got me all worked up. so I'm remembering all these other crushes I never quite managed to get over -- you know, sometimes I think it's harder getting over a crush than it is getting over an actual relationship. It's like with a crush there's no "closure"... although, I can't honestly say any of my relationships ever had real "closure" either but whatever... where was I??)

Speaking of building stuff BTW, R-B Guy is back from his trip to Outter Mongolia and has graciously offered to help me figure out how I can turn the aforementioned loft (which is now supported by two corners of the bedroom) into a free-standing affair which is just SOOOO sweet and useful and stuff! {warm, heart-y feelings!!} so I may just get to keep that thing up and around and in Boo's life for longer than i thought! Yay! Cute, funny, comes with his own power tools...! R-B Guy = excellent addition to the Chick posse. Welcome to the club!

In other news, I got into my Berkeley class which was GREAT although I was less than prepared to be attending UC Berk during the day, during the middle of the week. Can we JUST say wall-to-wall-22-year-olds?? Shesh! As some of you may or may not know, I look rather like a twelve-year-old meeself so it wasn't (at least not seemingly to me) obvious that I could have parented some of these kids (o.k. maybe not parented but very definitely much-older-sister-ed them!!) and as such, I had the most earnest young people inquiring as to whether or not I "needed help" finding my "books and stuff" -- "stuff". A very nice boy in my class asked me afterward if I "wanted to go get coffee or something and talk about stuff".

Now I know what "stuff" meant back when I was in high school but I'm not super sure what it means to the kids today.... Anyone? Was i being "asked out"??? and if so, was it really bad to have laughed in his face?? (Seriously, I didn't mean to, he was just being so Grad student, and EARNEST and everything!! I know, I know, I need to do us all a favor and just stop it right now! It's hard though cause in a way it feels like I'm getting a chance to go back and do high school again only without all the bizarre insecurities and need to be home by 9:00...! Although how ironic is it that now i WANT to be home by 9:00! Hee Hee...) Anyway. It's light years different from my Mills class where not only am I among the youngest, I'm also one of the ones with the fewest/youngest kids -- interesting being able to compare the two....

Do overs!!

First, before we go any further into the whole craziness that has been the last few days let me offer a HUGE, extended, shout-out to the Fabulous "B" family and their a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e children (and I suppose the County of Alameda, as well) -- CONGRATULATIONS on the official recognition of parenting ability vis a vis the Ms. B and your sweet-teen-age-before-you-know-it Twins!!! You're the swell-est family of five that I know and i wish you all continued health and happiness!!

Now then, the week..... Actually, we could start with this morning and track back if we like... yes! Let's do that! This morning, first official drop-off by MamaChick of the Boo and ... the Chickster f***s it up! (That's right, folks, completely incompetent, that's me!) Locked keys inside the house, forgot Boo's breakfast and lunch, missed our freeway exit and was EXTREMELY close to being actually tardy...! {sigh} i don't know why she keeps me around...

Doh! I'm being summonded. More on my silly life in a bit...

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

It's all about the book learnin'!!

First day of class for our little miss Chick and it was GREAT! I already have a HUGE crush on my Professor (D. Ketelle = Hot!) which is very nice cause it's been years since I've gotten to do the schoolgirl googley-eyed thing. Have I mentioned that she's great! She's all "older" lady and jokey-joke and smart and extended eye-contactey... {sigh} we wuv.... There was one bizzare happening vis a vis class last night, I was looking around at all my new cohorts and I saw a vaguely familiar face which I just couldn't place until... (ta-da!) I finally figured out that this was the chick I had my very second girl-specific crush on!! It was about 9 years ago and we were both working at TRoT -- actually, she left soon after I started and I ended up getting her job as Production Assistant... We had this raving ASS for a boss and he told me she was gay so I spent the rest of our time together trying to hit on her... She's one of those shy, retiring types so I think we can all predict how well that went over! I never found out if she really was bent or not. (Right this second she's married with a new baby but I'm coming to find that doesn't really mean much...) Anyway, it was interesting/wierd to talk to her again. She's still pretty cute in that shy retiring way but I'm not as attracted to those types anymore. The girl sitting NEXT to me though...! Now THERE's someone I'd like to be my "study partner" heh heh heh...

Leaving at 11:30 today to go see if I can get into my second class at Berk. I'm actually not going to be so sad if I don't since I'm temporarily signed up for a Wed. eve class with the delicious Prof. K. so I'm thinking it'll work out either way. Prof. K is shorter than me (a fact which I do not usually find all that appealing but I gotta say when a cute little professor grins up at you and says "Welcome, Cynthia!" well, gosh darn it, it's hard not to get a little melt-y...!) Hee Hee!

Let's see... what else...? I think that's it fer now. I'll try to check in after the Berk class and give a quick update. Til then, I expect everyone to be on their very BEST behavior! Kisses n' stuff!

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

"I'd be better off buying the fabric and just throwing it away immediately...."

Ha! I wonder if it's acceptable to use the word "cute" to describe the way someone writes??
And did I mention that school officially starts for me tonight? Whoo hoo! I can hardly wait!!!!

Who writes these things...?

Aquarius - Horoscope (by 8/26/2003
A friend from a distant state or foreign country whom you may not have seen for a while could awaken strange new feelings in you for which you're totally unprepared, dear Aquarius. You may even see this person as a potential romantic partner. What you do about it, of course, depends on your situation. However, it probably isn't a good idea to pursue this attraction today. It may pass. Wait a few days, and if it's still there, well, who knows...

Ha! Sooooo, too late! And on that note, thank you, my darling Dirty Boy for the "wake-up call" this morn. And for the books! You are a boy among men and I like you all the more for it!

eh, hem... Now then, main point of this morning's posting (which may or may not turn out to simply be an extended rationalization designed to cover the fact that I am proving to be completely unable to keep my filthy paws off the baby brother of a dear old friend, but, as with everything else, we shall see shalln't we...)

oh! but before we get into that, can I just say, yesterday I went to meet CP and the Boo for the post-first-day-as-a-first-grader debriefing and in picking up aformentioned child (whilst she was off scampering around the playground one last time) I found myself embroiled in a conversation with two ladies about the "original" Bratz dolls vis a vis the newer introductions. Did I mention that these girls were 7 and 9 respectively? Did I mention that Boo was NOWHERE near the discussion area and that when she did finally come running up, backpack in place, ready to go, I made her wait whilst I clarified a point or two regarding a hertofore unknown addition to the pack(!!) I swear, there is something so intrinsically wrong with me it's almost a shame we can't map it on the human genome and start selecting against it in our unborn children. Anyway.... where was I?????

ah, yes, my theory of connection or what I like to call the "Connection Continuum" [jot that down folks and remember, when you see it showing up on Dr. Phil, you saw it here first!]

K. essentially what we are talking about is this. I'm thinking that everyone (and by everyone, I mean me) has an established set of ways in which they connect. Now I'm not saying that they necessarily have an established set of rules by which they become attracted or otherwise induced to connect (although, I'm working that theory out as well...) but that once they've decided that connection is what they're after then there is a pattern to the various things they do in which to derive the greatest amount of satisfaction from that particular type of connection.

For instance -- consider the first date. There are those who would NEVER consider kissing/touching/whathaveyou on the first date regardless of how much they may want to. Part of this may be due to societal influence, lack of self-knowledge, having eaten garlic for lunch but assuming that none of these is the overwhelming factor, I would posit that once a person has decided that a connection would be appropriate there is a script (or as we shall see upon further explication) a series of scriptlets which they follow that are essentially the same practically regardless of the individual who inspired them.

Now let me be perfectly clear. If I happen to find a person attractive due to their devastating wit and in finding them attractive I decide I would like to continue talking to them this is not to say that if I happen upon another individual who happens to have the nicest tits I've ever seen that my immediate response toward her will be to commence with the chinwag.... What I mean by scriptlets is that while I think that different people will arouse different reactions I think it's fair to say that the way in which I choose to react to someone with a beautiful body is probably going to be pretty close to the way in which I respond to an entirely different person who also has a beautiful (albeit differently beautiful) body. I'm talking about pattern-making, people, and I don't necessarily think is a bad thing. What is bad (and here's one of the places where everybody gets it wrong) is not having enough recognized patterns to cover the full spectrum of connection and so being forced to apply a pattern that may not be appropriate to the situation simply because it is familiar.

The way I see it, connection can best be described as a spectrum. At the one end (let's say the red end) you have pure unadulterated lust. At the other (the blue) you have the pristine clarity of platonic attachment. The first thing to note is that one cannot say that red is better than blue or vice versa. One may prefer the red tones to the blue but that's fairly situational in my opinion. The other thing to note would be that while there may be variances in intensity, there is no inherent escalation in the spectrum. Red does not HAVE to turn into blue. It might. Then again it might not, but it's not a predetermined path by which one should be made to feel bad if things aren't "moving along" there is no "along" there is only the continuum.

So then, here we have our continuum and our patterns of behavior. My contention is that, should a person, for whatever reason touch down in a particular spot on our continuum we will pull out whichever behavior we know will give us the most satisfactory interaction for that color. Case in point: My beautiful Dirty Boy weighs in at a fair to moderately intense red-orange. Given that this is where he falls I think that it is fine to just freaking jump on him instead of trying to treat him like I would a green-y blue acquaintance wherein I might try to have some deep intellectual conversation with him vis a vis my fears around flunking school, screwing up both of my eventual kid's lives and completely f***ing up at work thus getting my ass severely reprimanded, embarrassed beyond belief, and eventually fired (a conversation which I guarantee you he has no interest in nor aptitude for). Again, not to say that DB is simply good for the one type of interaction. I am a flexible, open-minded gal and the continuum is just that. Any person invited into my personal connection arena is more than welcome to exercise any and all latitude in exploring its prodigious length.

One key point here, however is that there is not a great deal changeablility in regards to girth. I am who I am and I will react to one intense violet blue in approximately the same way (allowing for SOME variance in circumstance etc.) as I would another violet-blue. That is to say, I will get hugely possessive of you and try to take care of every single aspect of your life to the point where (unless you are a five year old child) it may actually prove fairly insufferable. This is how I am with my violet blues. If you want to be a violet blue yet at the same time expect me to be somewhat relaxed about my deathgrip on your life, it, simply put, just ain't going to happen. Green-y blues have an easier time. While I may still sort of assume I own you, I'll at least let you have the time and space to live your own damn life (provided you update me constantly and there is at least tacit agreement that it's only a serious fluke of happenstance that your life isn't completely revolving around me.)

I guess my key point here though, is that regardless of the place you happen to be on the violet end of that continuum, there WILL be a measure of ownership on my part. That's what I mean by patterns. Interestingly enough, I'm not particularly possessive of my Reds. I think one thing that may happen in my life is that I end up in a relationship with someone who's mostly purple (that being a mix of blue and red for all you non-"creative" types) and that they may assign an aspect of how I'm acting (e.g. possessive) to the red (sex) side when, in fact, the redder it gets the less likely I am to demand fidelity... But I guess that's just grit for another mill....

Anyways. I'm tired of writing and that's really the gist of it. Just some of what I was thinking on my drive in this morning. Thoughts? Anyone...?

Monday, August 25, 2003

Gosh, and before I forget -- a great big Happy Birthday to SigTau (whose birthday was Thursday and who I had a very fine time with at his birthday celebration/get-to-know-you gig Thursdee eve!) !!!! Happy late-twenties, my friend! Enjoy them while you can!

I'm baaaaccccckkkkk!

Quick show of hands, who missed me?!! Well, my goodness, I sure am thrilled to be back and posting and all of that! Whew... where to begin...??!

Let's start with a quick shout out to Pretty Boy who is sweet and adorable; who I love like a brother (well, not exactly like a brother. Maybe more like a step-brother... or a cousin... second cousin... eh, hem... anyways) and who I will always value as a contributing member to my life and happiness {sniff. Wipe eye...} and whom I was momentarily annoyed at for seemingly blowing me off but with whom I have since made it completely up with... (did that make sense? Oh, well, you know what I mean.)

Next, much love and "feel better" thoughts go out to my sad, sick, little buddy Q who is dying right now and soooo deserves not to be (again with the playing fast and loose with the English language... Professor Zimmerman at SFSU would be so dissapointed...!) Hope you're doing better and that the life is not so overwhelming as to make it impossible for you to get the rest you need. As always, let me know if I can do anything to help. Kisses!

As far as Boo news goes -- extended week-end with her was FABULOUS -- very sunny and relaxed. Not nearly long enough! First day of school for my great big 1st Grader is today and this morning's drop-off was a bit mixed. Initially we had lots of big girl happy excited-ness (not to mention long, new, pink, ponytails and a fancy new purple back-to-school outfit!) but upon arriving in class and being introduced to our new teacher (who seems very nice -- very focused if you get my drift) we had a classmate of ours, who we knew from Kindergarten mention that our fancy new ponytails looked "crazy" which we took badly and then proceeded to cry. No worries though. Parents were consulted, assurances were made (insulting child was immediately dispatched to the area where "all-who-harm-or-worry-my-kid" are summarily killed -- his mom is young, she can have more...!) and my little trooper went back to the mat to begin her first learning day. All-in-all I thought the whole thing went quite well. CP had some reservations (she had some misgivings about allowing Miss Boo to make decisions which might lead to her being teased, like for instance if she wants long, pink hair; wherein I am quite comfortable with the idea since, truth be told, I'm all OVAH doing whatever you want with your self -- so long as it's age-appropriate -- even if it means there are those in the world who may make fun of you but, being both respectful and supportive, I did take note of CP's concerns and if the teasing/unhappiness continues, am o.k. with Miss Boo returning to her former hairstyle earlier than planned...)

{sigh}My little bub! She's just growing up so fast!

Wednesday, August 20, 2003


I just totally disapointed my kid! Gawd, I suck!!

See, we had made this "spill" -- white glue, tempra paint, flour and an Odwalla bottle -- and it was supposed to take 48 hours to dry and Boo was going to her CP's house for three days and so we had this BIG plan for me to take the spill with me to work (today) and to bring it when I went to go pick her up from CP's house tonight so she could pretend she'd spilled her odwalla in her room and we could watch CP freak out... which is a GREAT plan except CP called me last night and said she was going to bring Boo to me in Oakland and I said o.k. and didn't TELL Boo and subsequently came to work sans "spill" and Boo JUST called me all excited about the trick we were going to play and I had to tell her that 1) I didn't have the spill with me, 2) the plan changed and I didn't tell her and 3) since I didn't have the spill here with me the soonest we could play the trick is SUNDAY which is AGES away and now she is completely disappointed and sad and it's ALL my fault!!!!!!!! Add to that the fact that I tried to make her feel better by saying "Well, how about this. When we get home I'll play frisbee with you..." to which she replied in an insanely tiny, wounded voice "Will you play with me more than you usually do?" AAAARRRRGGGGGGGG! Me=SUCK!!!!!

Permanent Partner's Act

[This is also from So-called Lesbian's site but I thought it was important enough to reprint in it's -- mostly -- entirety. Cheers!]

"Five US Senators have recently introduced the Permanent Partners Immigration Act. This bill, if enacted into law, will allow same sex non-native partners to stay in the united states with thier US citizen partner. The information is below. Please read this and contact your Senator immediately. This Act will not cost American taxpayers anything, yet to bi-national couples, it will give something most people take for granted -- security.

Please do what you can. And most especially, please talk to your family and friends and let them know how important this Act is to same-sex bi-national couples.

What you can do:

Please contact your Senator and urge him or her to cosponsor the Permanent Partners Immigration Act (PPIA), which would allow U.S. citizens and permanent residents to sponsor their same-sex partners for immigration to the United States. Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) introduced the Senate version of the bill (S.1510) on July 31, 2003, with five original sponsors: Senators Mark Dayton (D-MN), Russell Feingold (D-WI), Jim Jeffords (I-VT), Edward Kennedy (D-MA), and John Kerry (D-MA).

PPIA's History:

In February of 2000, Congressman Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) introduced PPIA in the U.S. House of Representatives. With the assistance of LGIRTF, Congressman Nadler's office drafted the bill, and it gained 59 cosponsors in its first year in the House of Representatives. On February 14, 2001, PPIA was reintroduced in the 107th Congressional session where it received 106 cosponsors. The bill was reintroduced again in the 108th Congressional session on February 13, 2003, and it currently has 115 cosponsors.

In a questionnaire distributed by the Human Rights Campaign, seven of the nine Democratic Presidential candidates said they would support PPIA, and two candidates --both are U.S. Senators --said they were undecided. Now is the time to help your Senator decide to support PPIA by taking action!

How does PPIA work?

PPIA would amend the Immigration and Nationality Act (INA) by adding the term "permanent partner" in sections where "spouse" currently appears, thus ensuring that a non-citizen permanent partner may receive the same immigration benefits that a non-citizen spouse now receives. Under PPIA, a person may qualify as the permanent partner of a U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident if, among other things, he or she is:

  • At least 18 years of age
  • In an intimate relationship with the sponsoring adult U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident in which both parties intend a lifelong commitment
  • Financially interdependent with that person
  • Not married or in a permanent partnership with anyone other than that person; and
  • Unable to contract with that person a marriage that is recognized under the INA.

    To find out the name and contact information for your Senator visit this website and enter your zip + 4.

    Further reading on the PPIA here, here and here."

  • The latest in a long tradition...

    of catering to our obsessions... ta-da! The airbrush!!! [Thanks to So-called Lesbian for link]

    Can't we all just geek along??

    This is cool. ["Pond" is especially beautiful.]

    Got a "date" with Pretty Boy this week-end. We're going to go eat. I dunno what it is about me and him and the eating; I'm not a big "eater"... I mean it's just not the first (or even second or third) thing on my "list of things to do" but it's always what we end up doing. Actually, I do know very well why I need to have a table between us at all times but still... if anyone can think of any other socially acceptable ways for me to keep my mouth busy, let me know....

    In other news, the new Chez Lovah Lovah is in a swanky-dank, rha-thah upscale part of town which I usually avoid like the plague and which brings with it a certain dilema... On the one hand it becomes obvious to me that the Boo will no longer be allowed to visit Mr. L-L EVER AGAIN (sorry, dude.) but on the other... how's she ever going to learn what not to be like if I keep sheltering her from the "thems" that populate his new world?? {sigh} Well, noone ever said motherhood would be easy...

    Speaking of me and Boo and a dog named Sue -- we are off, off, off the next coupla days registering for school, getting hair made longer and pinker, meeting potential little sises -- so, while I will have the ole laptop physically WITH me I may not be posting with any regularity {sounds of beating breasts, gnashing of teeth and desolate weeping in the streets} I might though. Depends on how good a time I'm having and how much I want to gloat about it!

    Tuesday, August 19, 2003

    Let us consider for a moment the "Booty Call". Is there any better invention in the history of modern man? (!!) I mean seriously, if everybody involved has even a modicum of affection for each other and if all parties are firmly planted on the same page... I just don't think I can imagine a better way to spend the occassional afternoon.... {attention drift -- snap back to reality} Sorry. Hormones again. I'll stop....

    The Queen is dead! Long live the Queen...!

    Quick Quiz - When you hear the term "Blow-out" which is the first thing that pops into your head:

    1)Flat tire
    3)Hairstyle (as in "using this new instant shampoo will add days to your blowout!"

    I was reading this magazine and there was some recipe for "saving your blowout" and I have GOT to say i went looking for party tips!!

    {shakes head} I just don't think I'm their target demographic.

    Anyways, so {settle back in chair, get cozy}.. I'm as big a fan of the goddess made flesh as anybody and let me JUST state right here and now for the record that if Ms. Jolie showed up on my doorstep tomorrow demanding a spit shine i'd be on my knees before the "Nnnn" met the "I" but, having watched If These walls Could Talk - Part II last night (I know, I know, it takes me a minute to get to things sometimes...!) I am so firmly in the Chloe Sevigny as all that makes life worth living camp that quite seriously, I'm no longer sure who would win out in a "pick one from the jello-filled wrestling pit and commence to making out" type contest were I the judge... And it's not just that she (Chloe) is BEAUTIFUL, it's that she's dressed amazingly!! We're talking silk ties, linen pants, garbadine shirts -- mmmmmmmmmmmm..... Why are girls so beautiful??!! Why are they so completely, decliciously perfect in every way?! See, THIS is why I have to stay away from them! It like an addiction... Where are the AA meetings for recovering Lesbos, that's what I want to know!!

    {sigh} I was going to go on and write some more about gay culture and assimilation (there's a mini-raging debate over at NP) but I've lost all my energy... maybe later...

    Monday, August 18, 2003

    that last post was a classic!

    Trust me... So, I've just fallen victim to the ever elusive disappearing post!

    K. let's see, there was something about the week-end being FAB... some blah dee blah about a picnic, Boo felt old... Gave Mistah Lovah-Lovah my truck... got sweet check-in call from R-B Guy who is living life o'reilly out in the Great Plains area (not really, I'm just not super sure where Montana is. I mean, people keep trying to explain it to me but I'm just not visualizing it. S'o.k. though. I blame our schools.) Let's see... what else... oh, typed in conversation tween me and Scary Girl to try to ascertain if I was THE most horrible person alive and since I just so happen to have it here, i will paste it in again...

    Scary Girl:You suck!
    Scary Girl:You should be.
    Scary Girl:Why did you even place an ad?
    Chick:I don't know. I just... I mean I placed it in the boy section then I got all "Bi" n sheet and thought might as well place it in the girl side too...
    Scary Girl:That's stupid
    Scary Girl:so, what's the deal
    Chick:whaddaya mean
    Scary Girl:You like me
    Scary Girl:I like you
    Scary Girl:So... that's it. We stop here?
    Chick:I guess
    Scary Girl:You're weird
    Chick:I know. I'm sorry.
    Scary Girl:Stupid.
    Scary Girl:So, I'm going to stop talking to you then.
    Scary Girl:I mean, it just seems kind of pointless
    Chick:Yeah, I know.
    Chick:I'm sorry. I really didn't think I was going to freak out. I suck
    Scary Girl:YES you do!
    Chick:See, this is what I mean. I haven't even MET you and it feels like we're breaking up!
    Scary Girl:Yeah.
    Scary Girl:K. so, whatever. Your decision, I guess. Good luck on your travels through "Man-Land".
    Chick:Hey, this isn't about that! You just scare me is all.
    Scary Girl:Thanks.
    Scary Girl:[anouncer voice]"Man-Land! Land of the writhing, nubile, young Man! Where men are men and women are scared!"
    Scary Girl:You're missing out.
    Chick:I know.
    Scary Girl:YOu suck.
    Chick:I know that too.
    Scary Girl:I'm gonna go.
    Scary Girl:Let me know when you stop being a chickenshit loser.
    Scary Girl:Bye.

    Yup. I suck.

    Friday, August 15, 2003

    I'm here, I'm queer...

    and I'm tired! That's right folks, I'm still tired! I am never ever going to catch up on what is rounding out to be years of lost sleep and dammit, I'm feeling a little pissy about it right now... Although, re: that -- it is entirely possible that I'm pissy due to some bizzarre hormonal imbalance since i haven't yet received a visit from "my friend" this month. Typically, I'm like clockwork down there (arguably the only area in my life where I'm predictably normal) but not this time. And I gotta say, i'm conflicted. It's not that I LIKE the pain and annoyance and puffy parts but at the same time, having the schedule suddenly decide to get freaky on me just makes me think thoughts like "Well, you are getting older. Maybe this is what happens when your body starts to decay..." Nice. Anyway. I'm probably pregnant. Ah, the joys of one bi-girl's life. Limited time only, win a chance at being ME! Line forms to the left gals, no shoving....

    Kid's last day of camp is today. She is very excited to start school again as am I. Have I mentioned that Boo is the very best kid in the whole world? She's taken to noticing when I do stuff that she considers "nice" and remarking on it. For instance, we have an HORRENDOUS ant problem at Chez Chick and I'm always running around with a soapy cloth and a broom and this top secret Chinese "Ant-be-Gone" chalk trying to keep the little monsters out of the cat food, refrigerator, bed etc. ... So, this morning we're already in the car heading across the bridge when I remember that I left a fishstick on the dishrack (Do NOT ask). I groan. Kid asks why. I explain that I left a fishstick out on the dishrack and that the ants are going to notify all their friends and arrange a kick-ass (I didn't really say "kick-ass") houseparty/breakfast/brunch retreat wherein all four thousand colonies will march straight into the house and start treating the kitchen counter like the US treated the Phillipines in the early fifties. (Yeah, I know. I don't expect her to get ALL the references but it does set up some interesting playground dialog for later in the day... ) to which she replied "Well, that's o.k. [When, I ask you, is COVERT invasion ever o.k.??] because they need to eat too." "The ants?" I asked, checking the rear view mirror to make sure that MY child (the one who will wake from a sound sleep in order to inspect the couch for any lingering signs of the tiny black bastards before allowing me to set her down on it) has not been replaced by some tree-hugging, hippy, no-belly-button, kid-automaton from Disney corp. "Yes," she says having another bite of apple. "That was a nice thing you did." She then added "Let them have their breakfast in peace. You can kill them when we get home."

    Thursday, August 14, 2003

    Work estimate: 562.00 bucks!!! (not including tax) Why do I even have that stupid truck??!

    I have...

    Huge sweat stains around the armpit areas of my otherwise awfully nice green shirt. The ONLY reason this is at all o.k. is because my boobs are looking particulary perky today so hopefully the hoi polloi will be too busy staring at the center of my chest to notice what's going on in the outlying regions...!


    Thanks to The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator for translating my standard bitchy, whine re: sick, tired, etc. into "Tween-speak"! We wuv!

    k. so... that's it really. still sick. (flu/cold - damn you, DB!!).... Stayed home yesterday which was nice in a snotty-fairly-constant-blowing-of-the-nose kind of way....

    oh! wait! That is NOT it! two very important bits of occurence did occur yesterday -- first and most important was the offering by Caseworker of a second potential Sis-for-Boo's file for my perusal. This lovely little girl is 3.5 y.o. and seems completely stellar. She is, however, already quite grown up and we've (me and the Boo) had a number of conversations in which we agreed that the way coolest part of her big sister-ness was that she gets to be the "big kid" (kind of offsets the crappy part of no longer having your room to yourself, no longer having your mom's undivided attention and having everyone in existence suddenly thinking the baby is cuter than you). Not that the 3.5 yo is huge or anything but there's a very good chance she will outgrow Miss Boo in the next year or so... which might be fine. I dunno. We're going to discuss tonight.

    Other weirdness about this case is that this is one of the kids that is embroiled in the "high profile" case currently being addressed at SF County meaning that this kid is essentially the reason Rosemary's caseworker hasn't been able to devote any time to that case... I dunno, I told my Caseworker that the whole thing feels a little
    "conflict-of-interest"-ey since I'd obviously prefer Rosemary but noone is going to work on getting her placed until after 3.5 yo is sorted out and I happen to be one of the potential solutions in 3.5 case which logically (to me at least, I'm not getting the sense anyone else sees the problem) kind of takes me out of the Rosemary pool...It's all very odd... The word "compartmentalize" was thrown about a bit in terms of what I am supposed to be doing re: these two girls but since what we're talking about are actual human persons and that this concerns the rest of our lives, i'm kinda thinking it's not such a great idea to try to "narrow my focus"... {sigh} Ever feel like you're completely missing something...?

    Second noteworthy thing would be my truck. I need to get it smogged and registered. I was driving it to smog place yesterday when I notice "check engine" light is once again on. (It comes and goes.) Nice smog man tells me that he cannot do the smog check while light is on. I take truck to reasonable mechanic who tells me he cannot fix light because it has "something to do with the emissions system" and apparently the someone has to "check the computer it has inside it" so I then took it to the dealership where I was informed that it will cost 156.00 to "put it on the machine" to diagnose the problem after which I will get a call re how much it will cost to fix. Oh and BTW my warranty expired THREE days ago... (!!) So, then, let's re-cap shall we? I need to pay my registration (93.00) which requires a smog check (54.00+certificate) which means I need to get "check engine" light diagnosed (156.00) and fixed ($$$$$!) meaning that i'm looking at 4-500.00 due in full by the end of this month in order to continue legally driving to work. In the words on our Twelve-year-old AOL friends -- WTF??!!

    Tuesday, August 12, 2003

    Tiny oranges...?


    [thanks to Geisha asobi for link]

    Why am I always so freaking tired...!!!


    Monday, August 11, 2003

    Gay marriage

    Hullo kids -- there's a quick vote going on right now at the CNN website about whether or not Bush is an idiot/gay marriage should be outlawed via constitutional ammendment and while I personally am not in favor of ANYONE getting married, I do tend to think it should be left up to the individuals involved rather than typed into the constitution so...

    If you have a sec. trot on over there and vote "Hell, nah!!" er...ah... I mean "vote your conscious"... Cheers!

    Gosh, where does the time go??

    {yawn!} I'm sooooooo tired right now I cannot even stand it! K. Let's see. quick week-end update: Good. Very fab. Had less time with the kid than I would have liked (she had a fabulous playdate/sleepover on Sat. and a birthday party on Sundee so I got to actually interact with her NOT AT ALL!) but I did get some quality snuggles which, added to the delightful fact that I have her tonight AND I get her all week-end next week-end, suddenly makes it much more workable... Also got to have some quality hang time with the effervescent Lu who continues to be the most fabulous almost two-year-old in existence! We three had a very fun breakfast at this cafe/diner place I like to go to. Let's just say a fair amount of "Sugar Packet poker" was played (I'm not super sure but i think Boo kicked my butt -- toward the end there was a suden shift toward creamer/jelly architecture that may or may not have effected the overall outcome....)

    Also on Sundee, got to go see Miss Tail's new swanky-swank aparte-mont in the fabulously historic Cole Valley area where everyone is twenty-eight and nobody thinks they're rich! Suffice to say, her new digs are tres cute and awfully nice and I'm sure she's going to be wonderfully happy there... Yay!

    Thanks, BTW, to all my super-dooper wonderful well-wishing friends re: the new job sitch. I'm sure you're all sick of hearing me whine so I'm doubly grateful that your congratulations are taking the form of "Good for you!" instead of "Are you finally going to shut up now??!" Anyway, we wuv! mwah! mwah!

    Oh, and one other follow up thing, re: Boo's Best Friend and Lane (aka sociopath-waiting-to-happen).. Some of you may remember I wrote this long diatribe about the little monster and my disbelief re: the "inaction" of BBF's mom vis a vis his continued pounding of BBF... Well, I've since spent a bit more time talking to the mom in question as well as just generally hanging out with their family and while I am still kind of amazed that that sort of event was allowed to occur I have (I think) a better understanding of their particular parenting style (let's just say they seem to have a far greater threshhold of "Let's wait and see how the kid handles it" than I do but I also saw that they -- the mom in particular -- were at the same time fairly supportive, so...) also BBF's mom when I inquired as to what the heck the deal was with "that kid" responded with "Yeah, I know. He's gotten pretty bad. I don't think we're going to let him come over anymore" which (although it is not strictly speaking any of my business) at least gives me the feeling that she's not completely oblivious to her kid's welfare. Ha! She also told me that the Little Sociopath's dad is a cop! Yay!

    Friday, August 08, 2003

    Whoo Hoo!!

    I just got a fu*cking kick ass promotion/move here at work!! Technically, it's not more money or anything (yet!) but it is out from under Boss #2 (I'll probably be ordering HER around a bit) and out from the project I was on into a less defined, more "process analysis/director's assistant" role wherein i get to interact mroe broadly with the various departments/managers, work directly with the IT department head and basically create my own job out of a few amorphous tasks... Yeah, buddy!! Whew. There's been tons of budget talk lately and as lowest ranking gal on a "non-essential" team (who also happens to be SUB-contracting to contractors) it wasn't looking so rosy, especially when one considers that I am going to ask for a chunk of time off to begin parenting kid-2... But now... Well, let's just say, I have a proven track record with taking this generalized "we just want things to work" type of position and making myself indispensible so I'm thinking my immediate future is pretty much a fixed thing. Ha! I can't WAIT til they tell Boss #2!! I guarantee you she will flip right out....!

    still tired, after all these years...

    I'm EGG-sausted!

    O.K. so I was talking to my sick friend last night and he mentioned how cool it would be to 1) get yourself on the gubernatorial ballot and 2) sneak out of the polling place with the one they give you (since it now that it has your name on it) so you can keep for posterity/show it to your kids should they someday question your life in politics/impact on affairs that really matter... An idea which I think it BRILLIANT, BTW! He's from New Mexico though... does anyone know if you have to be a California resident to be governor (I'm assuming but you never know) and if so how long it takes to become "residential"?

    And speaking of sick friends (and tying nicely back to my header, if I do say so mee-self) I would just like to say that if you are sick and you're planning to come to my house and get your sick germs everywhere so my kid catches them and in turn becomes sick -- thus creating a situation where I need to stay up all night making sure noses are wiped, backs are rubbed and nosebleeds are stopped -- DON'T! Please, I beg of you, if you are ill please be kind enough to keep your sick ass away from my house and my family and most importantly me because I'm already engaged in an extremely tenuous dance with our good friend sanity and further loss of sleep is just not going to help anybody at this point...! I'm not saying I won't come visit and rub your footsies and bring you soup. I just don't need any new and exciting germage introduced into the permanent part of my life.

    Let's see.... I don't really think there's anything else noteworthy going on right this second... Still waiting to hear back from Caseworker re: Bub-2 (aka:Rosemary). Scary Girl and I continue to correspond. She gets HUGE points for laughing at me when, after she suggested we should maybe meet I came back with "I guess. But, don't you think that would ruin it...??!"

    R-B Guy is gone gone gone today, I think. Off to the rolling hills of some central state where he can row around in his kayak, ride around on his bike and daydream about all the things he's going to do to me when he gets back... ah, vacations! ain't they GRAND! Seriously though, not sure if you're reading this RBG but good luck and good riding! Hope you have a fabulous time out in the netherlands. Try not to get sideswiped by a truck.

    Thursday, August 07, 2003

    For the record...

    I would just like to state that while I may be one of those girls who likes to kiss and tell/write, I am and shall continue to be the height of discretion when it comes to describing other types of fleshly interactions. For instance, were I to have had SEX last night I would realize that however slammin this alleged SEX may have been that this is neither the time nor the place to discuss such a sensitive and personal undertaking and I would therefore, of course, choose to remain mum. Sorry but that's just the way I was raised... "Discretion thy name is Chick!"

    Next, I would like to state that for the remainder of this week Mistah Lovah Lovah will officially be know as my Little Korean Dollface... Cheers!

    Wednesday, August 06, 2003

    Did I mention I have ANOTHER date this very evening with R-B Guy?? The ever-fabulous Q feels very optimistic about this one (for some inexplicable, to me at any rate, reason given that she's not actually met the lad in question and is just going by the skewed commentary I'm feeding her.... I've got a sneaking suspicion she's on his payroll but I'll need to investigate the whole thing a bit further) Q very nicely gave me a few tips re: not sending him screaming off into the bushes -- at least not right away anyway. We also played a very fun game wherein I would tell her what i wanted to say and then she would tell me how I could phrase the request in a such a way as to make it slightly less demanding/threatening/coersive/scary... Apparently, it seems to be mostly about "tone"... Anyway, we wuv! That Q, she's stellar!!

    "...If you're single it's for a reason!"

    This said in an ominous tone by Mr. Diva-licious, a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e friend of SAH at Taco Tuesdee last night. Uh, yeah... thanks, fer that (bastard!)... Also in attendance were fabulous co-worker guy, the Writer boyfriend of Boss #3 and SO extraordinaire of the aforementioned SAH. All wonderful boys and all especially charming last night!

    Let's see, what else... Welcome SigTau to our readership! You are a man among men (and my own personal blueprint for behavior the second I decide to try to be butch!) For every honest dyke there must be at least one frat boy type with whom she can discuss half naked chicks with gi-normous tits and you, my friend, more than fill that niche in my life. Thank you for existing! (BTW, if you continue to bring me the most recent editions of Stuff I will continue to overlook your fascist tendencies and medeaval voting practices....K? K!)

    Tuesday, August 05, 2003

    Nothing to report

    Not alot going on this morning. I didn't sleep at all last night (don't know why -- possibly the hot flashes) so I'm kind of sleepy right now. I'm also really wanting to be touched (not like THAT you perverts!) just kind of stroked and cuddled. My cats were sleeping stretched out on either side of me when I "woke up" this morning and it was so nice having two purring warm bodies all snuggled up next to me that i actually stayed in bed a full half hour longer than usual just soaking up the kitty cat love.

    Meaning, of course, that I was late for work. {Sigh} why is it that they don't just send me my check regardless of what I choose to do with my day? What's up with the whole "strings attached" way of working we've set-up in this country??! Sheesh?! What happened to the trust, people??

    K. Anyways... I really want to go see this. It's opening in Vegas and it promises to be flat-out amazing. I'm on the mailing list so they keep sending me snippets of the pre-show preparations (which is cool in and of itself)... It's supposedly all about sex so I can't go by myself (well, I mean, I could but I've been getting some weird vibes from myself lately so I think I'm just going to give myself a little room to figure out where I want this realtionship to go and hopefully to stop being such a complete bitch to myself all the freaking time...!! but that's another blog...) Which means, in a nutshell that I need someone to go with me who is 1) willing to sleep with me after (and possibly during) the show, 2) not willing to sleep with me but willing to let me watch while they sleep with someone else (preferably someone whom I find attractive) or 3) willing to go with me and while initially saying they're not going to sleep with me, due to their complete lack of self-control/copious amounts of alcohol, willing to be "persuaded" that sleeping with me might not be so far out of the question.... So, there it is folks. If you or anybody you know fits into one or more of these categories and fancies a trip to Vegas let me know. We need to get moving on this, time's a wastin'...!

    Monday, August 04, 2003

    now then, where were we...?

    ah yes... the week-end. As we all know the peeps were in town and much hilarity was had by all! Thirteen year old niece continues to be a splendid individual (there are all sorts of interesting observations that i made vis a vis her and her familial, seemingly-hereditary traits and her dad's influence and her likeness to the Boo but I'm going to wait to write about all of that onna counta I'm sure my reading public is far more interested in finding out how date #2 went and whether or not the Chick-ster "got some"...)

    But first, let me just say Sat. eve out with the crew was made especially nice by the apearance of Mistah Lovah-Lovah and the always splendid Miss K. who joined the family for some food and some HyperBowl butt kicking action! [For some unfathomable reason my child very much adores Mr. L-L -- also, I think Boo was needing a little bolster to her cool factor since she had this new-fangled grown-up cousin trying to boss her around all week-end, and being able to summon a cool fun adult of her own who had no allegiance to the wanna-be monarch pretty much made her night -- as such, I am especially grateful to Mr. L-L and his for thier somewhat short notice cameo.]

    Now then... the date... Actually, did I mention my boots? I just got some kickin new boots that I cannot wait to have an excuse to wear...! K. {giggle} sorry. {serious face} the date. The date was nice. B-R guy [who actually will be henceforth referred to as R-B guy -- that's right folks unlike Young Lad, there will be a henceforth with this one...!] was/is super cute, pretty blue eyes, cute teeth (which, for those of you that know me, pretty much says it all), witty conversationally, sweet personality-wise, super soft lips.... eh hem....

    Point at which I knew without a doubt that date was successful was when we were at his car and I was looking at this Motorcycle racing magazine (O.K. I was actually fixated by the naked girl lying on the ground next to the bike in the center spread) and he remarked on how nice it was that i was showing interest in his hobby of choice! Ha! "Showing interest"?? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? I got chore interest right here, heh heh, heh.... Anyways, R-B guy=full on cutie and (because my life does not always work exactly the way I'd like it too) he's leaving for an extended ride across this great country of ours for a few weeks! Yay! But, no worries. I'm going to try to see him again before he goes -- besides which, I figure it'll take awhile for the marks to fade so at least he'll have something to remember me by, right? Ha! just kidding, R-B guy was a complete gentleman, a credit to his sex... {smile} eh hem.

    So, anyways, very nice time was had by all. And...what's the perfect way to follow up a sweet date with a sweet guy? Extra points go to those of you in the audience who guessed "arriving home only to be greeted by a snotty, feverish Dirty Boy curled up in a miserable heap on your couch"! Janice, tell em what they've won!!

    Yup, it would seem our little Angel wanted to make the sweet love with Mr. Austin one last time {sniff} before he hightailed it back to the land of the High Hair and kicked our hero out into the street! Having no place else to go (I can think of four or five places off the top of my head but then again, i'm not feverish...) ta-Da! I was blessed with a visit. (This is particularly ironic because I was JUST talking to R-B guy about how one should never let someone get into the habit of "just dropping in" to one's apartment when one is not home... Funny huh? Anyway, I got Mr. Stuffy undressed and into bed and pretty much decided that since I now had a captive audience I might as well talk his ear off. (For the record, DB agrees with me that R-B guy "sounds nice" and this is probably "just what I need" although I think he may have just been saying that so I'd go away and let him sleep but whatever.... It still sounded good coming from an objective source. I'm going to check in with Best Buddy Q later on today to get the REAL scoop on what I should be thinking about all of this but it was nice getting to indulge in a little immediate post-date analysis...) {sigh} o.k. now I'm getting tired. Coffee now, more writing later, maybe...

    Friday, August 01, 2003


    Apparently there are major huge mondo happening LIVE Phish events happening this weekend. Go see them!!