Thursday, March 31, 2005

STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!! (Sorry. Just had to get that out there.)

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

The coolest hair, ever!

My baby-girl has really cool hair. Typically, it's all curled up close to her head but when gathered into 21 tiny "puff" ponytails, each puff starts to separate into these super thin, shiny black corkscrew curls. Seriously. Just about the coolest thing I've ever seen. (We both got sleep last night so, she's remarkably less agro about everything and I'm in a MUCH better mood. Plus, she gets to hang with the World's-GREATEST-baby-sitter two nights a week now instead of just the one eve with TWGBS + one with "O.K. but not as stellar babysitter" so I'm thinking that had something to do with it...)

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

"Communication breakdown," my ass!

This post is going to be crabby.

i've had no sleep, my baby has elected screaming as her primary mode of communication and my truck needs new brakepads.

Plus, I get home last night with aforementioned Miss Screamy-Pants in tow to find this message on my machine:

"6:10pm - {beep} Hey, Chick, it's CP. Is Boo with you??! {click}"

Seriously. If you ever want to make a co-parent's heart STOP BEATING leave a message on her goddamn machine asking where the child that she left in what she considered a fairly safe place at the beginning of the day for you to pick up at the end of the day (following a schedule that's been established for the better part of THREE years, BTW way, no surprises here) is. go ahead. It's fun. Really! Then when she calls you back in a panic, laugh and say "She's at BV? I'm at AFY. You didn't tell me where she was going to be [two face-to-face-conversations + one e-mail="not telling"] so I just assumed she was over here [why?? Why would you assume that she would be someplace she has only ever been once in her entire life for about two days and that we agreed was useless and out-of-the-way??!] Anyway, [here's an attempt to make ME feel better for dropping the ball] it was probably just a communication breakdown. Can you call them and let them know I'm on my way?"


{breathe} I'm going to say this slowly so that it is crystal clear to every single person in the world who has ever considered attempting this. Do. Not. Co-parent. Just don't. Unless you can figure out how to somehow do it differently. The thing is CP is a "good" co-parent. Given the various stories I hear from other people who are trying this, she's downright stellar. She's at the top of her game and still I am forced to entertain thoughts for close to half and hour about how completely not worth living my life would instantly become should I suddenly find out my Boo had gone missing. {sigh} Seriously, I think the best thing my dad ever did for my mom was to exit stage right pretty much the second he realized he was useless as a parent. We turned out great. My mom didn't have to deal with this particular load of crap. And Pops got to swoop in as the best G-pa in existence so it all worked out....

Monday, March 28, 2005

Vacation, all I ever wanted! Vacation, HAD to get away...!

Just got back from a loverly little road trip with the babies to the fab-u-loso Santa Cruz! Some thoughts:

1) There are NO black people in Santa Cruz. There were three but then we left.
2) My kids rule! I love them and I love running around with them.
3) That being said, my youngest has a new nickname "Miss Screamy-Pants" -- nuff said.
4) A road trip is simply not a roadtrip unless you're driving a cool car. Thanks to Rent-a-Wreck for the Chevy malibu, gold, fully automatic (like EVERYTHING in this car was on auto -- it was a little scary) hook-up!
5) Regardless of how kickass it is to be out and about, it is always equally nice to come home.
That's it for now. Cheers! (oh, and happy Easter and stuff...)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

This will be quick...

Because I'm tired. Just wanted to say though that we met with Miss Boo's teacher today and whilst I was waiting in the hall for her to finish up with some other student's 'rents/finish chatting with the co-teacher she had on hand as a Spanish/English interpreter, I heard her say "Only one more! This one is going to be fun though, she's one of my favorites!" (!!) Yay! I mean, we know this right but still! How very lovely to hear that the woman in charge of my Angel-Baby's life for close to 6 hours a day thinks she's the knees of the bees just like the rest of us! Besides which, I always love these things because we get to read Boo's journal that she keeps in class to write in during the day. A-DOR-RA-BLE! Pictures of Spark blowing kisses, ruminations about how she's "out of sorts but doesn't exactly know why." Asides written in parenthesees (she's the only kid in class who uses parenthesees -- wonder where she gets that from??) just general goodness and light all the way around. She's reading and comprehending at "well-above grade level" Strong marks in everything else. One thing the teach did point out which is interesting is that because Boo doesn't really choose her friends (they choose her) she sometimes ends up in the middle where groups/individuals are wanting her to be exclusive -- Teach brings this up because she noticed that Boo isn't inclined to exploit this like some of the other "intellectually more mature" girls do which is good (great) but that sometimes she may feel like she needs to just be by herself because the demands can feel overwhelming. This is a new take on the "She's too sensitive" thing I've been hearing from her teachers over the years and so is interesting to me. Poor little one. It's kind of true though. The only time I've known her to actually choose someone to be friends with was Sweet Little Becky who I think she liked/likes because they're basically the same child only with different parents and different hair. Also to come out of this meeting was a copy of the cookbook the kids in class made as part of a fundraising project and which (if you all are VERY nice) I may share. Probably not though so don't get your hopes too up... (they're only $15.00/copy, BTW, all proceeds go to Boo's school. I'll be taking orders through Saturday...!)


One seriously great movie! I mean, sure, no one in it can actually act but STILL! The hopes, the dreams, the unmitigated angst...! We watched Once Upon a Time in Mexico as well. Can we all just say EYE-CANDY! Christ. I didn't even know they made people that beautiful! Oh, and for the record DB = "whiny-ass baby who had better be off my couch by the time I get home tonight!"

That's it for now. Hope everyone's day is FAB!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Happy Birthday (yesterday), IHOEL!

That's right, IHOEL is the first and arguably finest of our little clan to reach the 40-candles-on-the-cake stage of her career and I would just like to take a moment to wish her Happy, happy B-Day and to sincerely hope she has the very best year of living ever!

There. Now that that's done, can we please turn the conversation back to me??! Sheesh. I have the world's largest pimple on the tip of my nose. There was a single moment during the last two days whilst I was readying myself to go out and hang with people of the adult nature when I wondered what exactly it could possibly be that was preventing some significantly adorable type from throwing his or herself at my impeccably clad feet and now I know. It is the fact that no one, let alone anyone with whom I am intended to get horizontal, could look me in the eye, presumably bypassing the ENORMOUS pimple on my nose, without busting up. Which, of course, would render any further discussion of dating pretty much useless. We could be friends maybe. But really, I need my love-interests to not laugh at me. A girl's gotta have standards!

Speaking of dating. i was honored to have the ever adorable Bendy Girl as my date for the Company after-holiday party and you can imagine my delight when I discovered that in addition to the fact that we continue to have nothing in common, she is also now apparently allergic to me! Don't know why this didn't come up sooner given the extreme kissing that's gone on during past sessions but there it is. Constant sneezing, watery eyes, itching. The whole nine yards. And believe you me, there is nothing so emotionally fulfilling as a really very cute, awfully smart, sexy girl standing next to her motorcyle, smiling at you whilst murmuring those words every gal wants to hear: "Stay away from me! You make me sneeze!"

{sigh} Thanks BTW to Mistah L-L, Miss K and the ever wonderful Miss Tail for providing some quality kid-sitting so I could go out and commune with grownups/remember exactly what serious rejection feels like. You all rock and I owe you big!

p.s. I am never leaving the house ever again.

Friday, March 18, 2005

I am in love!

With a man named Chris. I don't know what Chris looks like (I think he's from Australia though) but he was given the hands of a saint and was furthermore good enough to rub those hands all over my back and most of my front for approximately 50 minutes AFTER i'd already been had quite a nice little soak in lilac scented rosewater for about half an hour. I am mush right now and I owe it all to Chris.

I also owe it to DB who gave me the coupon to the Kabuki Springs & Spa centerand who, regardless of how much I rail about his continued existence in my life is actually, the very finest kind of "good people". (This should not, however, be taken to mean you can resume coming over whenever the hell you want, DB so don't go getting any ideas!) Thank you, thank you. A thousand times thank you!

In other news, my children will soon be featured as flower girls extraordinare at the wedding of the century tween a certain Mistah L-L and his fabulous Fee-yon-ce (pronounced like Beyonce), Ms. K. That's right, folks, apparently the ring was big enough and she said yes!! It really is all too perfect and I'm going to stop talking about it now lest I tear up... {sniff}

Marketing Chick is back and has resumed her attentions after a sudden and complete hiatus of a week and a half during which I fabricated all sorts of bizarre rationales. Apparently, rather than exhibiting the shallow, odd, borderline pychotic tendencies I'd been wont to ascribe to her, the real reason for the total news black-out was more straightforward -- she had to go to Ohio for a family "conference." (meaning, I gather, that someone "passed" and they had to sort out who got the house on the hill. Either that or "Ohio" is code for "The CIA occassionally needs me to help them tie up loose ends" Honestly though, she's cute, she's entertaining, so I'm not asking!)

Baby Grand-Niece, TJ is in New Mexico as we speak and although I've not yet been blessed with in-the-home pictures (seriously, this whole taking-pictures-but-then-never-developing-the-film thing must be endemic to the Magnet clan. All I know is, it has got to stop!) I've had the opportunity to hear her gurgle at me over the phone lines and I just have to say, it is soooo obvious she's been blessed with every single iota of fabulousness that being a part of the Magnet lineage promises to provide and then some!

Hmmmmm. I think that's it. I could go on and on and on about the continuing adorableness of my two-year-old but I'll save that for tomorrow when it will no doubt have been doubled (tripled even!)

Friday, March 11, 2005


If I've only met you once (and spoken approximately four sentences to you) and still my instant response upon thinking of you and/or interacting with you is "Ass!" then I honestly feel there's some room for personal development in your future. just saying.

Now then, I got my kid this little $4.00 book of spells she's been wanting, like, forever and upon receiving it she said "Oh, Mommy! Thank you, thank you thank you! Wow. This is just like getting a sister. You forget all about it then it shows up!" Nice.

And lastly, my best bud in the whole world is not feeling well and I was just thinking about her today and I'm sorry she's sick and I hope she gets better soon. That's all fer right now. Hasta la pasta, Baby!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

My baby has entered an even more adorable stage

Granted, not all that possible but true nonetheless! She is being freaking A-Dor-ra-ble right now. Skipping around, kissing me incessantly, hugging my legs whenever she's near me... just a delight! When she's not biting, that is. The biting thing just started as well. C'est la vie. i guess you can't have everything... :-]

Monday, March 07, 2005

What the...??!

Just got in to work a minute ago and it would seem that the new cleaning people have taken it upon themselves to toss out the varous dying/dead plants that once graced my desk -- pretty much serving as the only real warning most people get to just back-off! Damn. I wonder what would happen if I brought in another dead plant. Like I wonder if it would turn into this huge power/values struggle between me and the cleaning peeps... Whatever.

Conversation from this week-end:

Me: So, my work is having a after-holiday party. Want to be my date?
Her: Your "date"?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Is that a scary word? If I call it something different would you be more inclined to go??

And yes, it has been suggested that a not inconsequential part of my repeated failure to "hook-up" may in part be due to my attitude!


K. So. When I'm not alienating girls I want to have sex with, I am being a fabulous mom. I had such a great time with my (admittedly somewhat cranky -- the big one this time. The two-year-old was an angel!) children. And, yes, I am also well aware of the fact that it is only the fabulousness of my babies that allows me to even being to approach that title, all of this notwithstanding, week-end was spent finalizing this really cool quilt project for big kid's class to auction off (which is funny if you think about it because the fact that it existed in my house for so long and that Miss Boo basically made it herself whilst I sat on the couch and watched Chicken Run pretty much means that now I have to go to that stupid auction and try to buy it back! Weird how the world is set up sometimes...)

Anyway, despite the attitude displayed by both myself and my oldest, we all managed (in no small part due to the outrageous adorableness of my littlest big kid) to have a really good time in a "family" way. Very nice.

Friday, March 04, 2005

It's not that serious...

This is what I need to keep repeating to myself. So, I have one kid who's hopped up on steroids (albuterol) making her agro/tantrumy/clingy when it's time to go to sleep and another who's more into the "holistic" approach to being sick (flat-out refuses to take medicine) and as such is sniffeley, fevery and toss-and-turney all night. Add to this a sudden introduction to my life of a really VERY cute Marketing Analyst girl who while she says she has a girlfriend (who she likes very much) seems to be wanting to be on the phone with me an awful lot of the time... Consider the following conversation and tell em if I'm making stuff up:

Her: So, how'd the meeting go?
Me: Really well. People liked your document. I think we're actually going to be able to get moving on this.
Her: Hey, it's your document too. I mean we worked on it together...
Me: Yeah but you told me what to say.
Her: But you wrote it...!
Me: ::giggle- yes, folks, a full-on Chick giggle:: Yeah, with you were standing there reading over my shoulder the whole time!
Her: [obvious smile in voice] I was not reading over your shoulder! I just happened to be standing there -- maybe I looking at something else. Maybe I was looking at your dolls or at the pictures [on my extremely messy/cluttered desk]
Me: Or down my shirt. [I know, I know...Whaddaya want, it was late!]
Her: Yes! Maybe I was just standing there, innocently trying to get a little peek at the goods...
Me: "The goods??"
Her: ::giggle - that was her, folks:: Yeah. That whole evening was really about me trying to get close enough to get a really good look down your shirt.
Me: I knew it! I knew you could care less about the company!
Her: ::laugh::
Me: I feel so used.
Her: ::laugh again:: Yeah, now I have to figure out a way to get you interested in some sort of "follow-up" ...
Me: For the document?
Her: Uh, sure.
Me: Too late. I already turned it over to Marketing.
Her: [silence]
Me: Hello?
Her: Did you say you were taking a statistics class...?

Am I miscontruing this? That's flirting right?????

Whatever. I need to get some sleep before I think about any of this anymore. Otherwise I will go insane.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Ooops. Almost forgot to mention that I ran into Bendy-Girl (or rather, she ran into me!) and she was v. cute and smiley and said she hoped to see me again next week. What is it about crazy girls that makes them sooooo freaking attractive. Also along those lines, I hooked up with this very nice girl who I met through a work contact type and who got all excited to help me out with this work-related thing but who then, upon appearing at my house (I'd actually only spoken with her on the phone) was COMPLETELY cute! Needless to say nothing happened (except coming up with the best damn brand positioning proposal ever! And no, that is not "code" for something...!) we had fun though and she went off home. I was just beginning to get all excited about her (after discussing the situation at length with Missy Ho, my new best friend here at work) when she calls to let me know that she was "just thinking about me and the proposal and wondering how it went" (Good) and "by the way, was just telling her GIRLFRIEND, who wants kids, all about Boo, blah, blah, blah..." (Bad) Whatever. She hugely sweet and helpful and I am grateful to her for her time and attention.

At some point soon I figure I will have been celibate longer than I've been alive. I wonder what that'll feel like...

Kind of sad...

My front flatmates are in the process of clearing out and it's kind of sad watching all the beautiful stuff they did (in terms of front/back yard upgrading) disappear. Just looks sort of deserted now. ::Sniff:: I know I never actually saw either of them but still, I'm gonna miss those ladies.

In other news, I miss my kid. Weird. I technically just saw her but still... We were talking on the phone last night and she told me that she was going to ask her CP if she could have a whole week with me which made me all happy 'n sheet, until I next chatted with a freshly apprised CP and discovered that she also thought it was a great idea because then SHE could have Boo for a week... Which. would. kill. me. ::sigh, again:: I know it's too late for the majority of you, but still, please, if you even are at the point of beginning to consider this stuff, I BEG of you, think twice before you agree that it might be a good idea to share the single most important thing that will ever deign to grace your life with his or her presence. just sayin'.