Friday, October 28, 2005

Weird mood...

That is entirely related to work so not that weird really... I have a "scratch on my cornea" which was making the vision in one of my eyes all blurry/freaking me out yesterday because I thought it was a tumor or something (!!) Upon visiting my nice Optometrist, Dr. Michael Jackson (I KNOW!) over on Broadway, however, I was disabused of that belief, yelled at (again) about my inability to get my lazy-ass self to an opthamologist to get my "possibly glaucomatic" condition checked out and instructed to buy "smaller" frames that "actually fit my face." What is it about me that the world thinks it gets to boss me around?? Anyway. (that last statement was ENTIRELY untrue, BTW. I am often a little taken aback by the fact that the world actually leaves me mostly alone most of the time -- even going out of it's way to occasionally cross the street and avoiding eye contact when it sees me coming...)

In other news, the much looked forward to nuptials of the world's best God-Uncle to the Boo, Mistah L-L to his nubian queen K. have been postponed due to "acts of god" which, given that the cermony itself was supposed to represent one of those, I'm not sure what to make of but... I will leave that to the theologians in the crowd and instead report the upshot -- that being that I will not be going to Mexico to sit around on a sandy beach and quaff fruity drinks any time soon. No worries though! The wedding has been re-scheduled so 1) I can rest assured that this isn't some elaborate ruse cooked up by the primary parties to explain away some sudden dislike for each other/the whole archaic institution and 2) I didn't wanna go anyway...!jk.

This morning as I walked the Boo to school one of her second grade acquaintances marched up to me and announced "I'm going to be catwoman!" "Great!" I responded before thinking "Oh! You mean for halloween!" Aforementioned child then inquired "Are you gay?" Causing her mother to DIE right there on the playground. I, of course offered up a "Yup, Sure am!" Before making extended eyecontact with her red-faced mom and grinning like a crazy lady. Ha! Seriously. Kids are great. How the hell do we turn them into such incredibly screwed up adults???

Pretty boy is back from Tahiti and has agreed to treat me to lots of fully illustrated stories for which I cannot wait!

And lastly, quick shout-out to BBQ who although she probably knows it not, is, I am positive, going to be one of the small handful of reasons I do not completely abandon grad school... Anyway.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Duly noted...

For the record, this space is herein given to supporting an official rebuttal to assertions that may or may not have occured in this blog by persons directly connected to the matters outlined:

1) "Talking for hours" does and has not occur(ed) as that is "sissy behavior" -- futhermore any conversation that doesn't involve food related aversions is actually generally conducted via grunts and gestures toward "the remote."

2) Any discomfort either perceived and/or felt by [this blogger's] visitors can be traced directly to the fact that one's gal pals have no business suddenly getting "all sexy" on them and furthermore who am I [the blogger] to say that our entire relationship wasn't, in fact, predicated on an aborted attempt to "get into my [blogger's] pants" in the first place?

3) Sporatically realized desire to potentially f*** a person IN NO WAY points to a desire for further commitment e.g. "marriage" or otherwise.

Thank you. Now back to your formerly scheduled program....

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

overheard yesterday in my kid's classroom...

"uh, huh! 'No guns in class.' I mean, it's like a world rule! Sheesh. It's not like I sit around at home and think up stuff that's going to bum you guys out...!"

Quick, whose 8-year old is being taught by a recovering hippie this year?

In other news, I tried going into work today but I jsut got bummed out so after I went to the doc-tee-aires to have my stich-ii removed, I ended up playing hooky for the rest of the afternoon. Which, interestingly enough, is not something I generally do. I mean, if I have a paper due or my kid is sick or something then, yeah, I'll stay home, but I'm not normally prone to "absence due to sheer bummed-out-ness..." then again the bummed out bit is directly work related so maybe it was for the best that I sat this one out.

I spent the majority of my newly found time putting the finishing touches on me and the babies Halloween costumes, pictures of which will be taken and sent to those of you who prove yourselves worthy of that kind of notice...

Quick note, re: that. I have a friend who I like very much and who thinks I'm the bee's knees as well but in a "friends" kind of way, right, so I've noticed a disturbing trend which is that when I have long hair, like when I'm prancing around in one of the many get-ups that required some type of flowing lock-age -- he gets all silly on me. Like he likes me, likes me. Which is weird. I wasn't completely sure that this was the deal until today when he was over here sitting on my couch watching me model the year's coolest Halloween get-up and he started getting all stuttery and awkward acting, then he jumped up to go get some KFC. So, I thought "Hmmmm. That's wierd. I wonder if his like is turning into LIKE which would be weird and which we should talk about cause that would be weird..." so I take off the wig/visor/sunglass portion of my costume and when he gets back it's just like nothing happened. Again, weird. So I shrug and disappear back into the dressing area to try on another long haired ensemble and pop back out AND HE GOT WEIRD AGIAN! Like couldn't look me in the eye without turning red! Suffice to say, very shortly after this, he left. Now I'm all perplexed. I mean I, of all people, with my pavlovian reaction to long-haired boys certainly understand attraction based on a narrowly defined set of conditions but I guess what's weird to me is that we've already got a friendship going that has nothing to do with that, I just don't see how a little appearance altering is gonna make someone start thinking marriage when hour long talks about every single thing under the sun, shared jokes about truly stupid things that noone else thinks are funny and a livelong commitment to supporting each other's addiction to non-touching food never inspired that particular flight. Anyway...

2 year old wants to be on the computer now so I'm out. (Maybe I'll make a phone call or two...)

Thursday, October 20, 2005

First off...

There's this. (You need sound.)

Secondly, I'm baaaacccckkkkkkk! Finger is doing well. Thanks for asking. (The rest of the patient is sketchy at best but whaddaya want! baby steps my friend, baby steps...)

K. So I had the following conversation with my Two-year-old this morning:

Me: Hello.
Spark: Hello.
Me: [putting her sock on my head] Do you like my hat?
Spark: No, I do not.
Me: [adding a second sock] How about now?
Spark: [loudly] No! I do NOT like that hat!
Me: Good-bye.
Spark: Good-bye.

Quick, extra points for the lucky person who can tell me which P.D. Eastman book we're channeling at the Magnet house...!

And lastly, I {heart} IHOEL! Thanks for the book/advice/company the other night. You are a keeper.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Please, if you do nothing else for me today, at least check this out. Thank you.

I love this guy...

"Surely when we've reached the point where we're fetishizing sodium chloride and water, and subjecting both to the kind of scrutiny we used to reserve for choosing an oncologist, it's time to admit that the relentless quest for that next detectable gradation of perfection has stopped being about the thing itself and crossed over into the realm of narcissism so overwhelming as to make the act of masturbation look selfless." :-]

Monday, October 17, 2005

I'm a mess...

My finger hurts, my foot/ankle hurts, my head hurts. I was up all night responding to the freaked-out energy in my house (little random puffs of mojo-gone-wild freaking out my cats and giving the baby bad dreams. -- K. just told me there's an earthquake on the way so that's probably what's going on...) Ran into a dear old friend, practically literally, on the Bay Bridge on Sunday. We did that thing that I HATE when people do where you try to have some sort of conversation through your open windows simultaneously slowing down both lanes while shouting "I thought you were gone!" over chick in the passenger seat who's trying to look all pleasant and o.k. with everything/trying not to die. Good times! So, this week-end my big girl suddenly announces (as i'm getting supper ready, getting the dishes -- which I'm not allowed to wash lest I get my stitches wet -- out of the damn way, getting the cat fed and out from under my damn feet) with some level of indignation "You've got too much to do!" Like someone other than me had orchestrated this whole thing! Hands on hips and everything. it was cute. My little champion. Then previous to this little interlude, my littlest one comes into the kitchen carefully holding BOTH of her breakfast bowls -- one in each hand not spilling any of the curlded milk left over from her morning cheerios which she has cleared off her little table in preparation for some sup-sup, and hands them to me! Who's got the best, smartest, considerate-est children ever??? Yup! Me, that's who! (Don't be jealous. Oh. o.k. go ahead, be jealous if you must... ;-])

Friday, October 14, 2005

I'm not supposed to be typing...

I had surgery on my middle finger on my right hand and I'm supposed to be "letting it rest." Ha! Let's all watch as Chick "follows" Dr.'s orders...!

Anyway, just checking in. Went out last night with IHOEL to see one of the best movies i've ever seen! Mirrormask Highly recommended. Quick, go see it before someone realizes that a quality movie actually made it out into the world and does something to stop it!

Blah! My finger hurts. Guess I'm not going to be doing all that much updating right this second after all... k. more later.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Circling back to the "L"-word

No, not THAT L-word. The other one. The one I know is useless. Sigh. Jeesus, it's like a disease where I say I'm gonna leave it alone but I just - can't - make - myself - stop - stopping - by.... No doubt tied to some morbid fascination with the fact that here, apparently, is someone who can do quite nicely without me, thank you very much. I know. Inexplicable but true.

"mini-me" musing cont....

and then I got to thinking about my mom and her life-long desire for darker skin and curly hair. About how she wanted to travel and to grow up in a place that didn't have snow and brown brick buildings all squashed together -- what must she think of her own little experiment with "alternate beginnings." From where I sit, I think we all turned out great. I think she thinks so too but then there's that sort of pervasive bitterness thing that underlies every discussion of day to day accomplishments. Her surprise that we're doing so well. Like there's something sketchy about the whole thing. Is that what you get when you set up your little ones to have the life that you dreamt about -- some kind of wierd jealousy/longing as you watch from the sidelines as these people you created reap the benefits of all your hard work? Anyway... this whole reproducing thing is turning out to be more complicated than I at first thought. Many billions times better but definitely requiring some additional thought.
the fortune I want:

"Your waiting has paid off -- the person you desire will desire you back!"

the fortune I just got:

"Your enthusiasm inspires people!"


Confession time...

So, here's the thing, sometimes I look at my kid and I think "Wow, she's just like me, only better!" And I kind of mean it. She's the ethnic make-up I always wanted to be, she's got the hair I always wanted to have, she's being raised in a cool city, goes to a cool school, is inordinately popular, has "enough" in terms of food, clothes, toys etc., right down to the little sister I never had -- this kid is the living summation of pretty much everything I thought I wanted when i was growing up... which is wierd right? I mean, what the hell? Is this why people have kids? So, they can have little one-offs running around improving on the various areas where they might have liked to have lived life differently? I can't say i was specifically thinking along those lines when we started building her but I do have to say I had a fair amount of choice in setting up my Boo's current situation -- I mean, I did choose her donor/ethnicity, her sibling and her living/school sitch so, it could be said that I have been sort of setting up this up all along. I guess my wondering is whether or not I've been saying I'm just trying to give her the best live ever while what I'm really doing is playing out some sort of unconcious desire to re-write history with a "better" or at least differently situated heroine because i'm curious to see how it (my life done differently) would have turned out. Which seems really wierd to me. I dunno. Maybe it's normal.

In other news, it's that time of month again and I need a boyfriend. Just for a week or so. If anyone knows anyone who's hot/willing, please send them my way. Thanks.

Monday, October 10, 2005

and now i'm in a good mood!

Kid is here at work with me. Sun is shining and all is right with the world! :-]

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Don't get me wrong...

I adore my kid's little troop of buddies. i think they are smart and sweet and considerate of her ... and yet, at the same time when they're all together they're capable of forming into one of the brattiest, spoiled-est, snottiest, shallow-ist, most racist, manipulative groups of 8 year old terrors I've ever seen. my god! And I'm not saying these tiny people were formed in a vacuum. i mean, their parents are pips as well! Case in point at the brithday today, birthday girl wants to cut the cake. Mom says no, I'll cut it. Birthday girl begins to SCREAM "NO! I'm cutting it! No! I'm doing it!" Mother replies "O.K. alright, just make sure to cut it into smaller peices so everyone gets some... no, not like that, smaller than that, no, Honey, now see you're getting it all over [at this point instead of just taking the damn knife away she turns to her soon to be estranged husband, rolls her eyes and says "Far be it from me to be the cause of a melt-down!" Then throws her helpless little hands in the air and walks away leaving her daughter to serve pieces the size of Mt. Everest to about three children before hopping off her chair and running off to complete some freaking "art project" she had going on earlier.]

second case in point -- Child-who-I-cannot-stand is telling my child to stay away from another little girl because she has lice. I explain sternly to CWICS that she should stop being mean because she's had lice, Boo's had lice, we've all had lice and 1) it's no big deal and 2) it's not THAT contagious. Upon arriving home I get call from CWICS's mother demanding to know whether or not other child was announcing she has lice and chasing the children around and rubbing her hair on them (no!) which is ridiculous if you think about it because 1) how is that a fun child's game and 2) whatever! When I explain that no, in fact she wasn't but that I'd had a chat with her daughter about being mean she shot back "Well, she probably didn't think she was being mean, she was probably just scared, I mean I spent $3,000.00 getting rid of the infestation the last time and I really can't go through that again, I mean, seriously, if CWICS has been exposed again, I don't think I can let her in the house!" Nice. Sigh. God. When they were littler it was so much easier to tell myself that they weren't their parents/going to be a truly annoying influence on my kid -- and I know this is probably coming across as a big ole "Wah, I don't want those nasty, bad children sullying the pure perfection that is my child" but you know what??? I don't! I think they're a pretentious, spoiled, hypocritical bunch of upper middle classers and I actually would like my kid to grow up surrounded by folks who are a little less self-centered/a little more conversant with freaking empathy! Unfortunately the only places I seem to be able to find that kind of compassion are places where people have alot fewer life choices than I and my kids do and so I'm not so sure it's all rosy on that side of the track either.... Anyway. I'm in a bad mood. i'll stop now.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

"linner? lunper?"

O.K., on the one hand sick and wrong but on the other... kind of funny.

More importantly, whose two-year-old can recognize her numbers AND count to eleven??? That's right, baby! All that brilliance crammed into one adorable little body -- how DOES she do it??!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Sigh. I'm exhausted right now. A buddy of mine told me Sephora is looking for a website manager. Not that that MEANS anything I am simply making a statement of fact.

Anyway, I had big plans for coming on here and doing this massive update so all those tens of people who follow my life can understand exactly where it is I am at right now ... but I'm too tired. In a nutshell, i would like to say, the Bee B-day din was fabulous! So, nice to see all the pretty people gathered in one place and drinking wine. Boo B-day party the following day, also brillant! I love that kid and am beyond blessed that she (and her baby sister for that matter) chose to grace me with their lives. K. More later maybe after I get some sleep.

Company Holiday Party

So, I just had THE best idea for my holiday party get-up! the theme is Back to High School or something like that so I'm gonna get D. to do my hair so it's long and big and I'm gonna wear my hot pink prom dress -- THEN I'm gonna carry around big old picture frame with a blow-up of a person in a tuxedo (complete with matching corsage/bow tie and big Elvis pompador) but with a cut-out section where the face goes. Then I'll have my camera on my wrist and go around making everyone take "prom pictures" with me! I know. Sometimes it hurts being this brillant...