Friday, October 31, 2003

By popular Demand...!

We have a new addition to our links aisle....{sound of cheers, hoots, general exultation} A man who needs NO introduction Mistah -- Lovah -- Lovah, Give it up, folks!!!!! {crowd goes wild}

eh hem, k. so. anyway. Did i mention me and the kid are going to see the circus tomorrow night? Now that is cause for celebration...!

Kids today!

So, last night, I'm at home, making some sup sup, washing a dish or two and I hear the kid in her room playing "school". I peek in and she's got some animals lined up and she's explaining some concept to them but the big floppy rabbit isn't interested so "Miss Honey" has to get authoritative on his furry little butt and explains to him (in a pretty stern voice) that if she can't get some attentive listening pronto Mr. Bun is going to be warming the bench for the first five minutes of recess! Now this is scary even to me so, of course, Bunny-Boy straightens up and the lesson continues. Now the reason I bring this up -- the reason I select this particular instance of my kid's adorability to relate is because the lesson for the day is on "interrelated concepts". "This is a Ven diagram" announces my six-year-old kid drawing some circles overlapping each other.... My professor drew a "ven" (sp) diagram in class the other night and hand-to-god that was probably the first time I've heard the term. Sheesh! Seriously, if that kid was tall enough to reach the Cheerios my continued existence in her life would be completely obsolete!

Thanks to our Travelin' man for the primo suggestions re: small circular tins! {rubs hands together} This is all coming together soooo nicely!

K. hat's it for now, I'm sneaking out early to try to get my Trick on so Happy Happy Hallows to everyone! hope everyone has as much fun as it's possible to have without getting killed or evicted!

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I need a circular tin...

And no, that's not code for anything. I really do need a smallish circular shallow container preferably divided into "pie-shaped" sections (in fact I need four of them) so if anyone out there has any leads re: this, please to let the Chick know. Thanks!

In other news, my Beautiful Prof had her wallet lifted yesterday which SUCKS so everyone is required to think good, supportive thoughts for her in order to persuade the universe to further assist in the "setting right" of this stupid and annoying situation with as little effort/pain as possible. Thanks again!

K. So, someone rings my doorbell at 5:36 this morning. Just a single ring. I assumed it was my BB-Q coming for a little visit (Ha! not really, she had just mentioned that she might be stopping by to steal my truck and I ash-humed that was code for "Just wanted you to know, I'm taking your truck but I don't want to wake you up") but then I got a phone mee-suage from the lady in question stating that she was NOT using the vehicle today which leaves us with the somewhat disconcerting fact that someone rang my doorbell (politely) at 5:36 in the freaking morning! (For those of you familiar with the housing layout you will realize that you have to actually go looking for my doorbell, it's not like it's just out there on the street for some random passer-by to toy with...) Anyway. Weird.

You know, I think, I'll actually leave on that note. I have a group paper due today that I must print and bind and whatnot so I'm off off off to the land of the eed-u-ka-tid! Hope the world is splendid for everyone today!

Tuesday, October 28, 2003


Well hello there! I am in a FABULOUS mood today (not sure why since i've been having to WORK all morning -- Bastards!!) at any rate, I had a very productive date/advisory session last night with the Ever-Hot Prof K and she gave me an idea for a project that while being stellar in and of itself led me this morning to an even BETTER idea that is just so fabulous I don't even think I can stand it! Really. I don't. I'm not going to say what it is or anything onna counta it's highly marketable and "the man" has spies everywhere but should I actually do it I'm sure most of you will be forced to make much of it so don't go feeling left out of the loop or anything. The Fabulous and Effervescent Miss Bee just sent some pics of her bubs (aka children you perverts!) and THEY ARE ADORABLE!! Now, both of the Ms. B's are pretty easy on the eyes but I still swear I do not know who they paid to get a license to produce such phenomenally attractive childruns but there you go. Life=wacky sometimes. {sigh} K. really just checking in. I have to get back on track with my production duties or else I will be skewered at the end of this week. Ta fer now.... Drop us a line if you get a chance!

Monday, October 27, 2003


Here it is my favorite day after my favorite day of the year (we get an hour, yeah. Baby!!) and I'm still tired. Granted i have NO leg to stand on viv a vis why I'm tired (and achey and the tiniest bit hung over) since I had a great week-end, but still... I'm exhausted right this second.

Shout out to Pretty Boy, thanks for treating me to one of the most expensive plates of pasta I think I've ever eaten, and thanks for taking it completely in stride when I inadvertantly ordered a bottle of the Chateau Syrah '97instead of a glass (Loser=me!) You're one class act, my friend and you just get more and more adorable!

Didn't mention it on Friday but I had my butter-Boo here with me at work for part of the day and she was just GREAT! She sat in on some very boring, very long, very confined meetings and was a trooper throughout! Yay, Boo, we wuv!

Also big shout out to the fabulous Miss Tail who is carrying more than her fair share of the flirtatious duties (see Chick's bonehead interaction with cute girl below). I have always felt that the world needs more flirting and I am delighted you have managed to so completely carry the team this week-end! I, myself, have thought long and hard about what my damn deal is and have, as of yet, come up with nothing so you may be playing all the positions for the next little bit. TIA, you rule!

Saturday, October 25, 2003

I am an idiot.

Cute Boo Teacher comes up after class today. Smiles warmly, extends her hand and says: "I just wanted to officially introduce myself. I'm C." I, being just as suave as it's possible for a single human being to be reply: "Oh. Uh. yeah. Hi. I knew that." I knew that??! What am I in "How to effectively curtail a conversation 101"??? And, no, in answer to those of you who are probably saying, "well, after that, you rallied right? You came back with something. Anything... right???!" Nope. I sat there. Another parent stepped into the void and commenced with an actual conversation. Boo, herself stepped up and remarked that she "liked class today!" I mumbled something relatively incoherent, acted like it was some kind of freaking chore to gather together the assorted clothing of two six year olds and left. Gawd! Sometimes i am so unbelievably lame I amaze myself!

Miss Boo is having a playdate right now with a child whom she cannot stand. It's weird. This kid torments her pretty constantly at school but at the same time sometimes she's incredibly nice to her so our Boo is conflicted. She was pretty excited about the IDEA of this kid coming over but the reality of the situation is that i have two kids in my house who insist on fighting about EVERY SINGLE THING the other says. Cute though because they also want to have the exact same stuffed animals, dinner plates and drinks as each other. Ah, youth! Anyways, they're getting along right this second (in a bossy, cranky kind of way) so I've been reduced to "figurehead" status. I feel a little like King Solomon: "So, then you said what? And then what did you say? And what about that hurt your feelings? So. what do we need to do to fix it? K! So, let's do that then!" Hee Hee. Kids are weird -- not like us adults who are really easy to figure out...!

Friday, October 24, 2003

The king is dead! Long live the King

Or rather the President. Today i am the President because my kid put a stars and stripes sticker on my hand and informed me that I was. So, my first line of business, I'm thinking is a nice long nappy-nap in the Lincoln Bedroom. After that I'll see about balancing the budget, making education our number one priority and getting the troops the HELL out of Iraq.

Speaking of which (the Presidential sticker, not the troops -- besides which, was anyone else surprised by the fact that a "troop" is a single person...? For the vast majority of my life I thought "troop" was plural like a "Boyscout troop" which is composed of many children, anyway...) I'm wearing this stars and stripes sticker on the train today and I notice a "radical type" glance at it then at me and I actually felt uncomfortable. Like I should take it off so people don't get the "wrong" impression that being that I agree with or support anything currently going on in this fine country of ours but then I thought "Hey! It's my country too, dammit!" So I've decided to take the path currently being blazed by our own Elephant Princess and join in the fight to "Take back the Flag!" Who's with me (!!), show of hands...!

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Things I do NOT wish to be reminded of...

I know I said I'd put out for Lyle tickets but that was a joke! (Well, not entirely but I said it after the original offer was made so it's not like it was part of the contract...!) and These children having designs on me is NOTHING like me having designs on my professor! They are young and experiencing minor infatuation with someone who they consider to be their "superior" yet at the same time "accessible" and the power differential inherent in that situation turns them on. I, on the other hand, am in love. (Or at least pretty seriously in like. Besides, my Prof is cute!)

Mrs. Robinson meets the WonderTwins!

What if you were friends with somebody who showed up in your life somewhat randomly but then proceeded to sort of entrench themself by calling your house, inviting you over for movie nights at their house, just sort of dropping by at odd hours.... What if they one day gave you a ticket to see the world's best musician claiming that they wanted "nothing in return" just thought you "might like it". What if they then dropped by your house one night bearing a box of chocolates and a six-pack of beer stating that they were "in the neighborhood". What if during the course of the evening they tried to intice you into playing "Truth or Dare".... You'd think they were fishing for a one-way ticket into your pants now wouldn't you?? What if they were a "them"?? Seriously, I do not know what is up with kids today but I think a coupla friends of mine might have a crush on me. Together. The TWO of them. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about the togetherness vibe and if I was going to make the sweet love to a group, you two would definitely be at the top of my list but sadly, methinks the wrong tree is being proverbially barked up. You see I am OLD. We old people have had a chance to look around a little, try a few things, kiss a pretty wench or two and the thing we've come to value most highly mongst all the things we've seen and done is sleep. That thing last night where I got all cranky cause you guys wouldn't leave and it was inching past 10:00? That was for real. I ate your chocolates, I drank your beer, I laughed as your told me your interesting stories and make pretty little faces, I even felt a tiny flush when you decided it was "too hot' in the house and started taking your clothes off. And, at 10:00, all these things notwithstanding, I wanted you gone. Understand? I do NOT have the energy anymore to engage in crap like that. Please do not take it personally but at the same time, if I am on the mark in any respect re: this whole plan to get-you-some-Chickster please remove me from your list of possibilities. I am flattered (You're both very sweet and I'd probably do you separately) but I really cannot even begin to get into why the whole thing is such a very bad idea. Just trust me on this.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

There was this guy on campus today paying a whole lot of attention to a plot of grass near where I was sitting this morning having my bagel and tea and doing a little light reading vis a vis - "Cultural critism and hegemonic discourse as it pertains to the pathologizing of an ethnic subset..." And by attention, I mean Serious attention. I mean, let's say you're braiding someone's hair, someone that you like so you're being super careful and not pulling or anything but at the same time you want to do a good job, be thorough about it and all that, so you're sort of slipping your fingers through their hair delicately but with some authority as you divide the various strands and smooth out the lengths for braiding; this guy was doing that, running his fingers through the grass but not in any kind of off-hand way -- with authority! He even pulled out an implement at one point and used it to slash at some offending bits but in a business-like way, not like he was mad at the grass, more like he was pruning, which I might have thought he was doing if he hadn't stayed crouched over the same foot by foot plot for well over half an hour. I mean, this is Berkeley and there's one hell of alot of grass and if he was the official gardener I can't imagine he would have been able to keep the entire place as tended as it obviously was by spending that much time and energy on one little tract. I mean, they re-seeded an area up by my class a few weeks ago then when the shoots didn't appear immediately, they just ripped it up and planted some of that "roll-out" grass stuff over it. Not a patient bunch, Berkley lawn-care peeps. Plus, this guy had bluish hair. I'm seriously doubting that Cal would employ a blue-haired, Hawaiian shirt wearing skater guy to "represent" as it were, regardless of how much he liked grass. Anyway, I watched him for a really long time as he finished "pruning", stuck a metal stake into the ground, counted off the steps to the stake from the nearest tree then packed up his implements and sauntered off. I went over to look at the bit where he had been standing but it just looked like grass to me. I gave it a pat anyway just cause, then went to class.

Speaking of class, have I mentioned how much I'm enjoying school? It's strange how much my classes are feeding each other. I mean we were talking about "inclusion" last night then today we're discussing giving kid's "voice" and some sense of political agency and now I've got all these other ideas for my "design an inclusive school" assignment... It's just weird is all. Nice weird but weird. I'm going to start referring to everything as a potential "chapter" of my dissertation. It makes everything sound so much more directed. Like, oh sure, it may look as if I'm just hanging out with a bunch of kids who don't want to be in school but when you frame it as "fieldwork" that you're engaged in in an effort to measure youth autonomy as it supports attempts to secure a more authentic "agency" well, dammit, it just looks better on the grant proposals is all I'm sayin'....

I think my soul is old

I'm sitting here staring at a West Elm catalog and I'm thinking I have a theory about those people who like having one stick of brushed steel furniture with a single oversized book of prints made during Picasso's blue period lying slightly askew atop it as their sole living room decoration. I'm thinking maybe they're new. Like maybe their souls are fresh and new and just got here and haven't really had a chance to look around and become attached to all the diverse trappings of a life well lived. Maybe they feel better with the one or two items much like some very small children become attached to a single "fluffy" and that's all they need. I'm thinking the same thing about people who like their things all shiny and new and pressed. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it I just think it's interesting that new things make me nervous while they make other people feel more secure. My Baby Brother loves new things. CP makes an honest attempt to keep anything she purchases as fresh as the day she removed the shrink wrap. Me, I look for things with stains. I just got a new pair of shoes upon which I just noticed the first scuff. I am thrilled! Anyways... just thinking about stuff before I go to class and have to think about other stuff. Cheers and all that. Hope everyone has a spectacular day....!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Know what's hot? Sitting in your Hottie Professor's chair trying to arrange a booty call using her office phone. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't intend to be sitting in her chair whilst setting up the nasty, I intended to call my buddy Pretty Boy to just check in, see how his life was going and then I thought "Hey, maybe I'll just go over and see how he is in person" and then I thought "but if I drive all the way home the second i get in the door I am not going to want to leave, so perhaps I will call him from here [being school]" then I thought "but where is there a phone on which to make this call" and I looked up and my uber sweetheart teacher was unlocking her door and I thought "hmmmm, perhaps she will let me use her phone to make this call" so I asked and she said yes and then I got in her office and I was so delighted suddenly that I was "in her space" that I HAD to stare at her stuff -- besides, she went out in the hall for some reason (SEE, tact! Yet another sterling quality for me to make much of!!) and it was easier to stare while sitting and then HE answered and he sounded sooooo unbelievably cute and unavailable and everything that drives me crazy about him that by the time I REALIZED I was drooling all over my oh-so-patient-prof's phone... well, let's just say that while the normal part of my brain registered "mortified" the other part of my brain, the part that really just isn't consulting the list of reasons that Best Buddy Q so helpfully compiled re: other career limiting moves I could engage in instead of trying to sleep with my Professors (not really. I have accepted that that sort of intimacy probably just isn't in the cards but still, a gal's entitled to completely deny reality, right??) that part took a long cool look at the situation and registered "Hot!" Anyway. I'm weird and wired and my boy is scheduled to begin driving home from Mountain View in about three hours so, no nookie-nookie for me. P'raps I will eat lots of chocolate chip cookies instead. Yes. That sounds like a plan.
I'm sure this is interesting to noone (at least no one who still reads this thing) but me but in investigating my pockets, I discovered a locket that Boo had given me to hold for her at some point this week-end. I opened it up and further discovered that she had found, cut out and managed to glue a tiny picture of the Ex's son into the inside of it. Not sure what more to say (or even what I think) about it but I just thought it was interesting that she wanted his picture to be in her keepsake.


Kid had a starring part in a skit this morning at school where she exercised her "right to pass" (Tribes thing, you wouldn't understand) and she was brillant! Just stellar! Good job, kid! You rock!

I was in such a very pissed off mood yesterday that I completely forgot to give major props to my Sweet little Angel who has managed to entice his Texan back to our fair state for an extended visit! Good show, Hon'! I have GOT to know though, does he always leave his boots on...?

Also big shout out to all the beautiful boys in my life who were so nice to me yesterday when all the big bosses decided to FREAK RIGHT OUT! You guys are the best! No, Really...!

Monday, October 20, 2003

Blah! Work sucks today! My various bosses are all freaked out over some HUGE scheduling thing that i did (with their approval I might add!) that apparently threatens the fate of the free world or something equally heinous...

Anyway, just to give a little overview of the new rant structure vis a vis the "key players":

Boss #1, 2 & 3 have been dissolved as functional entities. Instead we now have "Head Honcho" being my direct supervisor here at Sniff, "Tampa Teddy" being the guy in charge of the GlobalGroup troops (coincindentally also being the one making my life especially difficult right now FOR NO REASON!!!), "El Torito" (aka Boss #2 ) being my "team lead" and primary contact with Leech-Land and finally Todd. Boss extraordinaire, head and CEO of Leech-Land. For those of you keeping track, Boss #3 is no longer my boss but remains my bud so we've come up with a shiny new monniker just for him -- Elephant Princess (Not "elephant" meaning in any way to imply that he's heftier than most but "elephant" as in "the elephant in the room noone is talking about" and "princess" just cause... well, if you know him you'll see why this just sooooo right) ... K. are we all up to date. everyone set? Good.

Tampa Teddy, you SUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK! {breathe out} There. I feel much better now.

what does desperation smell like?

K. so I cannot stop going to travel sites and checking on "vacation sales." I came THIS close to booking a flight to Georgia because it was cheaper than Albuquerque (where I actually have family)... I was in the elevator this morning and some chick was talking about Washington DC and I started thinking "Hmmmmm. DC... What is there to do in DC? We could go to the Mint!" The Mint. I ask you...! {sigh} I am soooo needing to just freaking GO somewhere! But where? And with what? Contrary to all appearances I'm not exactly rolling in the cash right now... Anyways, if anyone knows someplace good and cheap (or expensive to get to but with appropriate "ins" -- re: someone me and the Boo could stay with for a coupla days) let me know ASAP otherwise I'm afraid I'm just going to book the next non-refundable fare I see and wind up in Salt Lake City standing in line to see the Osmond's birthplace!! (Not, that there's anything wrong with that....)

So, you know what's fun? Sit down with a six year old (it's more fun if it's your six year old but if you are not so blessed feel free to borrow one from the neighbors) and flip through a fashion magazine. Flip through fairly fast, page by page and let the kid tell you what/who appeals to them and what doesn't. Every so often see if you can get them to tell you what it is exactly that they don't like about the "nahs". I guarantee you will gain an incredible amount of insight into the human psyche. Plus, it's fun. I, myself learned that "furry bags are weird", that there is such a thing as "too much gold", and that even a six year old can tell when a lady is "way too skinny!"

Friday, October 17, 2003

Too much information

Today, standing on the train (not the good-smelling one) lodged between a pole and two female persons of the Cole Valley variety I learned the following:

  • Patty is only 43 and has already started menopause
  • Jill and Frank are celebrating their 5th anniversary but with the baby it's probably going to be a stay-at home thing
  • Karen thinks that's a shame and will take the baby but probably can't take Melissa since she's already got the girls and they're having a slumber party, but on second thought, maybe Melissa can come if Jill thinks she won't be bored
  • Jill thinks she won't be bored but Karen knows Frank and he's not going to want to do anything anyway
  • Karen thinks maybe a BB-Q after the kid's game might be fun
  • Jill is astonished to learn that the kid's game will only last 30 minutes
  • Karen assures her that it's because it's T-ball then suggests that perhaps they should just take off [I'm assuming the two of them] and "celebrate" on their own [not super sure how it ended up being "thier" anniversary but maybe i'm missing some "used-to-be-together" lesbo vibe...]
  • Jill thinks this is a grand idea and wants to go to Sonoma [Sonoma??!]
  • Karen thinks maybe Marin or Sausalito but remembers she can't because the sonogram is on Tuesday [sooo, not sure how this information is pertinent but again, p'raps I'm missing something]
  • Karen's mom and her grandmother all started menopause at the age of 43
  • and, we're back to Patty...!

    k. so. Do I need to meet these people at a dinner party? I think not. I feel like we went to high school together fer chrissakes. That Frank guy, though, needs to catch a fast clue cause hand-to-god if he doesn't step up quick, before he can put 6 and 9 together, his little lady's gonna take Missy and the Bub and set up some housekeeping with "her good friend, and sometimes f***buddy", Karen.

    now then, where were we...? Ah, yes, being sunny and light about the world. Last night the Boo opened a present she'd just received from her Great Gramma and ta-da! A copy of Doctor Doolittle that was given to my Gramma in 1924 by her teacher! Yay! Gramma also enclosed some of the notes we've (me and my brothers) written her during our time on the planet together. Consider an exerpt written by a thirteen year old Chick about a pillow:

    Hello G-ma, How are you? I am fine. Things here are going well. Did you get the pillow I made you? I made one for my mom too that says 'Kiss the cook'

    [Kiss the cook?? on a pillow? I ask you...!]

    she says she likes it

    [bless her sweet heart! I wonder if she still has it? I should ask - hee hee]

    and that it was just the thing she needed.


    Anyway, I'm going to go now. I love you and hope you and G-pa are doing o.k. out in all that snow!

    [Har Har! Get it?? They live in North Dakota! Snow!! eh, hem...]

    Bye for now. Kiss the cat for me!

    [I have no idea.... -ed]"

    Yay! we heart Gramma/Great Gramma!!

    Big shout out to my Best buddy Q who is sick and dying. Sorry Sweetie, hope you feel better soon. Let me know if I can do anything to help....
  • Thursday, October 16, 2003

    Viva la gender-bender types!

    I heart people who do the gender cusp thing! I mean really heart them, like to the point of just admitting i have a freaking fetish about it!

    Yesterday after class I went to see a gallery show about boys who dress like girls -- the show consisted of a series of tryptichs showing "before", "in process" and "after" shots and while I have to say some of the before and afters were pretty interesting onna counta the remarkable (or lack of remarkable) change in demeanor, the "process" shots were amazing...!! My goodness! How beautiful is it to see a black and white, 3/4 shot of a bee-u-ti-ful boy curled over a tiny mirror, flourishing a mascara wand! Who knew the image of an otherwise extremely "straight-looking" beer commercial kind of guy, leaning in a doorway and grinning as he pulls on a pair of spangly fishnet stockings could be so damn sexy! And don't even get me started on the various "full make-up but otherwise nude" pics (!!) "Compelling" does not even begin to cover it. i swear there's gotta be some sort of club for gals like me who really just want to watch boys getting decked out in the sequins and heels. And let's not forget the ladies! This particular show was boy specific but I feel compelled to give the love to the short-haired chickie slipping into the crisp, cotton button-down shirt as she readies herself for a night out.... mmmmmmmmmmm.....

    Anyway. Good show.

    In other news i have THE world's largest, grossest, most imflamed, infected looking, not too mention ITCHY cold sore ever to appear on the planet we like to call earth right now on my bottom lip. Line forms to the right people, step right up, viewing starts at nine! Now then, much as I would LOVE to blame DB and his insidious little germ-age for this breakout, I cannot since he's been officially shackled for the last little bit. I was going to go for the "stress" card but that would imply that I've been working which could not only be easily disproven it might also send some of my readers into severe giggle attacks and let's face it, they're not the strongest bunch to begin with -- so that leaves us only with FATE. i have a paper due on Wed. and Sunday is really the only time I'm going to have to concentrate on it so my body (knowing that I was actually considering spending the day at the movies or in the backseat of someone's car) has decided to step in and make it so I have to stay home and type. {sigh} So nice to know someone is thinking about this stuff. I'd hate to have my life left completely up to me!

    Tuesday, October 14, 2003

    She wasn't good...

    but she had good intentions! Lyle=Great. Great performer, great singer, great songwriter. Although, I may not go to his shows anymore (KIDDING!) onna counta the company I'm being forced to keep whilst in attendance is beginning to get to me. Seriously people, am I the only freaking non-white, non-upper middle class, non-early-to-late forties chick (who wasn't brought by her parents) in the world who loves me some Lyle? And the overall vibe; the whole "Let's call him by his first name (e.g. {shouted out mid-performance} "We love you, Lyle!") Let's act like we really know the man, let's pretend we [all three hundred of us] are his close, personal friends and should be allowed to suggest what he plays next!" vibe kills me! Sheesh. I kept wanting to just cringe away whenever anyone started with the calling out. I want a pin that says "loving Lyle in a healthy way..." {sigh} ah well. c'est la vie.

    I do gotta say that there were considerably more peeps of color at this particular show than were at the last one. I was a teensy bit worried because Mr. Lovett did not choose to bring his back-up singers to this gig meaning that the ranks were potentially diminished five-fold... Luckily, he enlisted the aid of a local gospel choir who were apparently each allowed to bring two guests -- I'm just assuming, since I ended up counting thirteen brown people in the audience divided by the five brown types in the choir... Sorry. Just tired of standing out all the freaking time.... Still and all, show was great. Got home at midnight. Am currently exhausted.

    A friend of mine is traveling around New Zealand and he wrote this in an e-mail:

    "thinking of taking a train across the outback to Perth..."

    Gawd! is that a beautiful concept or what??! I have got to get out of here and go do some serious traveling. I mean like NOW...

    {sigh, again} still tired. must go work now....

    Monday, October 13, 2003

    It's genetic!

    Sorry, just had to check back to let everybody know that the ability to appreciate certain finer things in life are apparently encoded in a person's DNA. Witness following conversation betwixt myself, Boo and Cutie Programmer/Production Guy here at work:

    CPPG: Well hello there!
    Boo: Hi.
    Chick: Hey. CPPG this is Boo.
    CPPG: Hello Boo.
    Boo: {still very cool} Hi.

    CPPG smiles and walks away. As we continue down the hallway Boo looks up at me with a big ole smile and says

    Boo: Well, he's very handsome!
    Chick: He sure is! {Yay!}

    uh, just so there's no confusion or anything, SigTau we were not referring to you, sorry....

    First off...

    Let me just say this -- me. Lyle. 8:00. tonight. {shhrrriiiiieeeekkkkkkkk!!!!!} Eh, hem. Now then...

    Kid is here with me today which is GREAT! How fun is it having your Bub with you at work?? Pretty damn I'd have to say! We were informed that I was expected to come in today despite the fact that the persons I work directly with/under are off celebrating this glorious divesting-of-the-Native-Peoples-from-their-land Day. Whatever. I'm sneaking out early, F*** em if they can't take a ... er... absence? K. sorry, moving on...

    Got a request from a regular reader for a "cooler nickname" which of course pre-supposes a number of things not the least of which being that one or more of the other names I have for people are cool/actually thought out. Still and all though, not willing to risk fisticuffs over this one (primarily because she looks easy going but trust me, she's way scrappy...!) so after much thought I think I'm going to go with the "X-Factor".

    Reasons are as follows:

  • We have a weird relationship, me and her. We know each other. We like each other. She lives FIVE freaking giant steps away from me but still and all, i know almost nothing about her that wasn't told to me by her blog/her ex/our mutual buddy SAH so, given that she's my resident woman of mystery, it seems pretty apt
  • I seem to recall she was a HUGE fan of the now defunct X-files and I'm sure she likes the X-men as well (I know, stretching, but we do what we can with what we are given...)
  • Even though she's seldom actually present in my life, it's eery how many times I end up at a gathering where she is in some way referenced. Weird, i tell ya!

    So, there we have it! X-Factor (X-Fact has got a mate who'll I'll no doubt have to come up with something for as well but I've exhausted the creative-spark assigned to this post so it'll have to wait....) Big shout out to X-Factor, thanks for the impromtu watchage of my kid. I, myself, never get tired of the Boo but she sure does get tired of me. Thanks to both of you for being so accomodating!

    Last and certainly never least (although I probably should have covered this BEFORE I used up my interesting vibe, ah well...) a big old THANK-YOU to Mistah Lovah-Lovah, Miss K and Miss S who were so very kind as to invite myself and the little one to celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving with them on Sat. eve! The food was fabulous! (And so pretty!!) Now, those of you who know me know I'm THE world's pickiest eater but I gots ta say, those gals served up some tasty food! Turkey, roast potatoes with garlic, mashed 'tates, yams -- Yum! No wonder Mr. L-L is getting so fat!

    K. I'm outtie. Gonna pretend to work, now so I can justify getting really pissy tomorrow about how I had to come in to WORK today!

  • Friday, October 10, 2003

    This from Other Girl:

    So, realistically, what's the maximum number of times you can fall truly, deeply in love? I think seven.... which would mean, I've used up all my turns so I should probably hope it's more like eight or nine. I don't really see how it could be though.

    I, myself, would think it'd be alot less than seven but I hadn't really considered it as a finite occurence until a few minutes ago. I guess maybe seven is about right. I'm at six right now, not counting the kid...


    I was completely blindsided by the parental units at Boo's school today. Man, they were coming at me from all sides... "Is Boo going to be able to make it to Shaleta's birthday party tomorrow?", "Do you have your giftwrap sales paperwork with a check made out to...?", "Hi! We're new and our daughter loves your kid and we want to set up a playdate! [note: During this particular incursion, I also had Boo standing there giving me the "Um, mom, THAT'S the girl I was telling you about who I can NOT stand!!" look] Chick: Um, yeah, sorry, we're not really doing playdates right this second because my schedule's just so... well, YOU know how it is...! [I gots my Baby's back!]", Can Boo come to Randy's party next Saturday?", "Can I talk to you about the dance class our kids are in...?", "Can I give you a ride to BART???" I mean, My Gawd, people!!! We are just a couple of tiny problemsolvers in a vast world of issues. Damn you, eerily passed on to our offspring unbelievably charismatic personality traits!! (Ha! sorry. I just really wnted to see that last bit in writing.) O.k. I'm better now. Off to meet with the masses re: some work thing that I'm ill-prepared to address effectively (thank GAWD I've got the world's most talented team of people working with me, otherwise I'd be ska-rewed!)

    Oh, and I also wanted to say a great big Thanks! to my beautiful Professor K. for advocating on my behalf with the powers that be at the school and getting them to not only alow my petition for special study but also to waive the late fee usually associated with such random flights of nonsense. We wuv! K. off now. more later maybe. We'll just have to see...

    Thursday, October 09, 2003

    "The Asian sterotyping thing...

    may not have worked for Abercrombie & Fitch but I'll bet Ghetto-stereotypes will work for us!!" - Bonehead Marketer

    The game's inventor, David Chang, 28, who immigrated to the U.S. from Taiwan when he was 8, said: "They just have to remember this is just a game. This is a satirical look at stereotypes in America."

    The game "is completely disgusting," said Franklin Stevenson, 40, a computer animator who heard about the demonstration on the radio and supported the protesters. "It speaks to the level of racism that still exists."

    "It's like selling pictures of a lynching and people buying it like hot cakes," said Stevenson, shaking his head.

    The controversy appears to be fueling the game's sales.

    "For every bad e-mail ... I probably get like 20 orders," said Chang, who runs the operation out of his home in St. Marys, Pa.

    Change said Urban Outfitters is the only retailer to carry the game in the Chicago area and sales clerks at their two stores in Chicago and one in Evanston said they have sold out of the game.

    Calls for comment from Urban Outfitters corporate headquarters in Philadelphia were not returned Monday.

    Chang, who said the game's inspiration came to him in fall 2001 while watching an episode of "MTV Cribs," a show that profiles the residences of famous rockers and rap stars.

    Chang dismissed the criticism. Every race is denigrated in his game, he said.

    "There's Asians, Irish, Italians, Jewish, any you can think of is on there. It's not just focused on the African-Americans," he said.

    Chang said as an Asian-American he has had his own experiences dealing with negative stereotypes. To underline his point he said he has included in the game an exaggerated stereotype that assaults his own heritage.


    Anyway, Worse Than Queer has a (IMHO) much better argument for why the game and products like it purportedly intended as kitsch which utilize cariactures etc. should be more closely considered before we demand an instant recall -- not that she's saying we shouldn't dismiss them, just that we should consider it a bit first...

    I'm not suggesting that it's all just "play" as if people weren't deeply, psychically invested in these images/contests for meaning in different ways, or that we abandon representation as a site of political struggle because, hi, that's all I do, but that we get smarter about it, examine the circuits of power (who's "appropriating" from who? for what purpose? what exactly is being "borrowed"? etc.) and the ways in which resulting cultural productions are framed, exchanged, and potentially re-appropriated and/or deformed.

    entire article is here...

    Honestly, myself, I'm divided. My first thought was "Ha! I want it!" followed closely by the thought that I'd have no place to keep it since the last thing I'd ever want is for my kid to find it (or something like it) and think it has anything to do with reality, which in a twisted way it does... kind of... i guess... Anybody? thoughts??

    New to the side links Worse than Queer insightful, rambling and more than a little pissed off. We like.

    Wednesday, October 08, 2003

    First a moment of silence...

    For the governor that once was:


    and a heartfelt vote of hopefulness that the new guy doesn't further screw everything up! You go, Guv! Good luck!

    K. So, I'm kind of honestly thinking that given that a "record" number of peeps were motivated to vote and given the fact that having this particular bozo in as the requisite "republican" will alleviate the need to elect a more "politically oriented/conservative" one at some later date, I don't feel the need to complain all that much. I mean, we DO live in a "democratic" society and if the vast majority of people surrounding me honestly think this guy can do any better than the last one, well then so be it. At least people felt empowered to voice an opinion [however ill-informed and stunning in it's inability to see "the big picture" it may have been], and that's what we all wanted, right? Right?? Eh, hem...

    In other news, THANK YOU, Dirty Boy, my sweetest, most wonderful-est boyfriend-for-life (except not really... BUT I would have to say you are extremely well positioned to "get some" pretty much on demand from the Chickster for the rest of your natural life although, given that, it is too bad you've recently become "exclusive" with the ever cute OG. Ah well, such are the vagarities of fate...) You are the best and I am honored and amazed that you saw fit to give me a ticket to see Mr. Lyle Lovett {shriekkkkk!!!!} in concert , in Oakland, at the Paramount!!!! My life is already full of amazingly fabulous things and the fact that you managed to pull this out of thin air, is nothing short of frosting on top of the frosting of the cake that is my life! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I owe you big time (take careful note, good readers, The ever-lovin' Chick Magnet will put out for Lyle Lovett tickets!) Sigh... we heart....

    Tuesday, October 07, 2003


    I was just thinking about this one time in high school when our drama group took a trip to some other school for a state-wide drama competition [not only did we not win, at one crucial point in the production our stage set fell over] and I got all incensed because shortly after we arrived, I glanced across the lobby and some girl was wearing my-then-boyfriend's pin! Let's just say, much off-stage drama ensued during which our mutual friends went to great lengths to assure me that the pin in question had "just dropped off" and that this girl had picked it up and that MTB was simply following her around in an effort to get it back. I, of course, didn't believe a word of it and retaliated by pseudo-hooking up with the-world's-sweetest-college-boy, who was trying to stage manage the entire production, find ushers for said event AND field the other rampant females who were trying to score invites back to his pad [I was actually in the room at one point listening to him fend off some other chick who wanted to come in and "look around" -- I don't blame em, kid was CUTE] anyways... long story short, at the time I didn't think it was at all possible that that pin just happened to fall off and that that chick just happened to pick it up. Now though, in retrospect, I can see how it might have happened that way. Sorry, I thought you were a lying sack of sh**, MTB. My bad.

    Monday, October 06, 2003


    Today I am home "sick" which is code for SICK! I am soooo dying right now. Not dying in the sense that I can't prop myself upright and make a feeble attempt at entertaining you, my public, but sick in the sense that my head hurts, I'm so tired I can't even figure out how to open the milk (true story), I'm slightly nauseous (probably due to lack of breakfast -- see aforementioned situation involving the fucking "child-proof" milk container!) and my joints ache. Now, I fully realize this is because I full-on over extended myself during the "7-day-birthday-extravaganza" that was last week but as it was all for a good cause (My beautiful Boo's birthday!) I am mostly prepared to suck it up and soldier on. [side note here, how freaking brillant is Lyle Lovett?? "My angel in distress/you look o.k. to me/ I'll send you my address/ when I know what it will be/ well I could easily stay with you/ on your side of heaven's door/ cause I don't love you any less/ but i can't love you anymore...."]

    Now then. Quick week-end update: Birthday bash was fabulous! All the pretty people were there and much merriment was had by all. There was a bit of a time crunch at the end there since the way the party place worked was that the kids got an hour of running amok followed by 45 minutes to eat pizza and cake and figure out the present situation. Cool in theory but in reality there's no freaking way seventeen kids are going to settle and eat and open lootbags and trade stuff and burst into tears for no reason in that short amount of time so although the troops made a valiant effort it still seemed a bit rushed toward the end. No worries though, Mr. Lovah-Lovah and the Fabulicious, Ms. B were good enough to get much of the hilarity on tape so I'm sure the only thing we'll remember three years from now will be the screaming.

    So, last night i was sitting in a miserable about-to-get-really-sick heap on the porch and who (or rather what) should decide it's time to pay Ms. Magnet a visit? That's right, the friendly neighborhood possum who apparently lives under my house. A possum! Now, don't get me wrong but I'm a desert kid; I know nothing of furry beings the size of small dogs with long, rat-like tails and prehensile paws. In addition to hailing from the land of scaly creatures who run when you approach, I'm also a city-dweller. How the hell [excuse my french] does a freaking possum 1) get into the city in the first place, 2) decide to live smack underneath a fairly busy residence [although not so much anymore since I've gone into semi-retirement] and 3) make friends with the resident pack of cats so there's no fighting over the kibble on the porch? Furthermore, what possesses aforementioned animal to suddenly decide that I am no threat whatsoever to his dinner activities?? A possum!!!! What are we, in alabama??! Christ!

    Friday, October 03, 2003

    It's all relative...

    So some lady sitting in front of me on the bus today, sneezed and when I said "God, bless you!" She gave me this HUGE smile. I was puzzling over this as the bus continued along on it's merry way until I saw she was holding a yellow rosary and apparently reciting her "Hail Mary's". I guess it means more to have a stranger save your soul from the ernstwhile clutches of evil spirits/eternal damnation if you're Catholic....

    Gosh, I am soooo freaking busy right now! K. Sorry for the scarcity of witticisms. I've been forced into a position here that is uncomfortably close to actual work and I'm just not sure i'm o.k. with it! Birthday din-din last night was grand! Kid was a bit tired and as such was the tiniest bit cranky but in gen. all = good. The Mondo B-day extravaganza is slated for tomorrow and can I JUST say, I can hardly wait!!!! Sheesh, you'd think it was for me or something (Hee Hee, it soooo is! I'm just glad the Kid is o.k. with me vicariously re-imaging my childhood experience through her. I'm scared what'll happen when she's twelve and won't let me share her life anymore!! hmmmmmm. p'raps bribery is in order.... Or some sort of blackmail. We shall see....) Anyways, really just stopped by to give the old heads up to my loyal fans re: my lack of communication: It's not you, I promise! It's me. I just can't commit...! Eh, hem... anyway....

    Thursday, October 02, 2003

    Happy Birthday, Baby!

    Happy happy birthday my precious, perfect repository of all that is good and meaningful about the world!!!! I love you, Boo. You are the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee, the sunshine in my day! You, simply put, rock and I thank my lucky stars daily that you saw fit to bless me with your presence! Enjoy being six! I hear it's a very good year....

    And while we're at it, a big shout out to Miss Bee who also recently turned six (yesterday)! Congratulations! You're the coolest mother of twins I know (with the possible exception of your ernstwhile partner in crime, but hey, it's not her birthday now is it??!) You go, you adorable young thing! we wuv!