Sunday, November 30, 2003

Beauty and light...

But, having said all that, I also realize there are people out there trying to make their kid's lives work with co-parents who are complete a**holes and so, whilst I reserve the right to be occasionally annoyed, I do still feel very lucky that the worst of my problems seem to be minor disagreements over who gets to advise Boo on how to handle the bully at school rather than who forgot to pick up the kid because she was busy smoking crack with her new strung out girlfriend...

Right, moving on. Boo and I went to the see the Degas sculptures yesterday. She was in a sad mood (i think she's getting sick) and so was more interested in hanging out on the benches than in the sculptures themselves but still and all she was a big ole trooper! She did actually get pretty excited about some of the art in some of the other galleries but "excited" for a kid translates into touching and by the time the third adult person had politely asked her to please stay off the exhibits she was pretty much done with art. She did let me carry her around to some of the Victorian rooms though and she even went so far as to murmur "pretty" when she noticed me transfixed in front of one my favorite "sad little milkmaid" paintings (speaking of which; William-Adolphe Bouguereau = amazing and what with Christmas coming up, if anyone feels like buying a substantial bit of my love feel free to consider this, this, and this as worthy installments...!) Anyway, all in all long week-end was fine. I had a great time hanging wiht the kid and also had some very tasty ham and potates for Thanksgiving repast and me and the CP were mostly able to play nice so it's all good. Hopefully, I be able to finish the second of the thousand and six papers due this week, and then, maybe, possibly, get some actual sleep tonight! O.K. probably not but it's good to hope, right?

Total Hate

Hullo folks, hope the Turkey day was all you wanted it to be and more! Today I officially hate this guy:

Noah's Bagels staffperson: Can I help you?
Marin type guy in Outback Red Windslicker thing: {holding two partially eaten bagel sandwiches} These are completely underdone. I've ordered these maybe thirty times and I know how they should taste and these aren't cooked right.
NBSP: O.K. Let me take your order again...
MTGIOWST: She didn't cook it right. You have to set the right time on the microwave and really watch it
NBSP: Two...?
MTGIOWST: EggMitts with Egg Beaters, Cheddar Cheese, pepper and chives ONLY, toasted on an everything bagel
NBSP: Yes, Sir. We'll make them right away. {turns to give order to other staff person who has been there at least six years - I know this because I've been going there for six years and she is always very pleasant to me}
MTGIOWST: {leaning over counter - raised eyebrows} ah, ah, ah... can I have someone else make them please?
NBSP: {shrugs, begins to make the sandwiches} ...
MTGIOWST: {now leaning on counter supervising the microwaving process; nodding} good.

AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!! Why do people like this even exist?! What the freaking hell can this guy's life be like that he needs to be this much of a self-satisfied ASS in front of his wife/partner/girlfriend/casual aquaintance/total-stranger-who-just-happens-to-be-sitting-at-the-same-table and kid?????

I hate him. I really, really do.

O.K. now then, back to me.

I am at work right now testing an application. Now, boys and girls, I know there are those out there who might tell you otherwise but don't you think for a minute that testing is not Fun Fun Fun!! (!!) Actually, I've only just started testing. The bits I really wanted to look at, I can't get to work so I'm more sitting and staring and occassionally cursing as I drag my tired ass back over to the stupid cube where our stupid test machine is sitting so i can restart the stupid webserver... I'm also drinking coffee (gasp!) which probably accounts for my surly attitude. I'm telling you, the switch back to tea didn't come soon enough! (Disclaimer: I'm only drinking this cup of coffee because the OTHER person who is here today just handed it to me and it seemed really wrong to smile up at his drenched face and say "Hey, thanks for leaving the building, going out into the rain and struggling back through both locked doors with two cups of steaming hot liquid, but I'm actually not really drinking coffee anymore. That stuff'll kill ya!"). Take that, MTGIOWST! This is what courtesy looks like!

Alrighty then, whilst we wait for yet another re-start, coupla quick things re: this past holiday.

1) Co-parenting sucks. Maybe it's just me and my raised-by-a-single-mom ethic but seriously, there is nothing more disconcerting than having it demonstrated to you yet again that somewhere in the world is a relative stranger whom you didn't actually like/trust/value enough to stay with forever but whom for some inexplicable reason has an equal claim to the person you love more than anything else ever. I mean WTF?? O.K. granted it's not that bad but still, it's wierd. It's wierd realizing that there are two people trying to instruct and instill values and sculpt one little mind and that those two people are not together mostly because they could not re-concile their world views. Those same world views, I might add, that are getting foisted upon an innocent little sponge person who is then tasked with trying to sort them all out in such a way as to not offend any of the sixty-thousand adults who are depending on her to make their lives perfect...

As you may have intuited CP and I had a slighty rocky Thanksgiving, mostly because it was just us with no one around to run interference. Boo is still having issues with Demon Child at school and CP is of the opinion that Boo "should just walk away." Now, I was there on Wed. watching them on the playground and while it may be a great idea in theory, it just doesn't seem like the simplest strategy to implement so I suggested perhaps Boo remember that she could just walk away but that maybe we'd try to figure out something else as well. CP took what I was proposing to be exclusive of her and bristled. I took her bristling as failing to understand the real-life situation and got annoyed, Boo tried to run interference by changing the subject to the brownies we were making and we all tr-la-la'd it from there...

I think the main problem is that the two of us aren't usually trying to parent at the exact same time in the same space so when we do, it feels like we're stomping all over each other's ideas... My solution, along those lines, would be to just never be in the same place at the same time but I sense that both CP and the Boo might be unhappy with that little arrangement so I'll have to see what else I can figure out. One thing I did notice was that CP is better at Co-parenting than i am. I think this because she is able to recognize me as an equal parent and can share/relinquish her role when I'm around. I cannot. I mean, I understand that she is also raising our kid but at the same time I just cannot step back. When I'm around Boo, I'm her parent and that is just the way it is. I expect her to follow my rules, heed my advice, turn to me if she needs assurance -- regardless of who else is there. Furthermore, I don't see this as a major problem so it's unlikely that I will change. {sigh} I just don't think I'm cut out to "co" where parenting is concerned....

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

It's Lord of the Flies all over again!

Hallo class! Today we're going to reflect on a few of the things we witnessed during today's play-yard observation but first some stuff about ME.

Registered for my Spring classes first thing this morning -- O.K. can I just say, sometimes I get the distinct impression that I (and my life) am a button attached to the end of a string. the string is mostly invisible and is always taut so usually I think it's just me (the button) hanging out, rolling along, doing all those adorably annoying things that somehow manage to both piss off and enchant the masses on a daily basis but then something like my school registration comes up and I realize that I have no control at all and in fact I am simply a button being pulled along by this string to all the places, people and situations, I need to interact with to have things continue to function in a way that will cause me some happiness and, at the very least, smaller amounts of heartache.

Case in point: I did not know I was supposed to be registering for classes today. I quite simply was not in any way aware that the reg period was fast approaching and that there would be a fine (200.00) if I missed the cut-off and registered late. Then, last night in class, Hottie Prof. has me chat with a girl who is very nice but whom I typically do not talk to about cross-registering at Berkley and during the course of our conversation she mentions that the reason she wants to cross-register is because the class she wants into is full prompting me to inquire how she knows it full to which she replied that (it being near the end of the registration period) you could go on-line and see what was left. (!!)

So, all of a sudden I'm faced with needing to register for classes the next day. Which, co-incidentally enough is the day I have off from work anyway. So I move some things around time-wise and arange to be at the school right at 9:00 when the center opens. Upon arriving i recognize a classmate of mine from last semester and (again in the midst of a casual conversation) she tells me she's registering for this policy class taught by this great teacher who usually doesn't teach evening classes and that it's open to grad students (!!) As I'm standing in line figuring out what to take...! Is that not just bizzarre?? I dunno. "Co-incidences"/Luck like this happens to me all the time but sometimes i swear it's just too calculated to be random... Anyway, I'm happy. I'm taking "Public Policy: Issues that affect Women and children" and "Quantitative analysis" (whoo hoo! You gotta love you some number crunching!) Anyway, I jsut thought it was eerie... Moving on then, back to the play-yard...

So, some of the things I noticed about the 1st graders at my kid's school while they were at recess:

  • There's one girl who seems to prefer playing with the boys. (I originally wrote "always plays with the boys" but my brain is in "objective assessment" mode so I had to qualify it.) It's interesting because although she is included as a member of their pack she is not treated the same. All the decision making about what is going to be played next, what the rules of the current game are, who gets to tackle who should someone have both the football and the tetherball and be unwilling to give one up... are made by the boys. The boys throw the ball, catch the ball, kick the ball. On the one occassion I saw where the girl got the ball it was because a wild kick sent it off under the bench and she got to it first. Once she had it the boys treated her like they would any other boy - screaming for her to alternately throw it to them/at someone else but once she did throw it they stopped paying attention to her again. And it's not like she was being shy or "letting" them ignore her; she was right there, yelling , dodging, suggestiong, etc. They were just, as a group, not seeing her as someone who should influence them.

  • The boys tended to play in big groups while most of the girls played in groups of three or four. Also the girls were all over each other - pulling each other around, picking each other up, hugging, pouncing, etc. The boys didn't really touch each other while they were playing although they did touch each other when they stopped playing. There were lots of pushes and backpats and pokes when everybody lined up but when they were actually engaged in a game it seemed to be more about how far they could stay away from each other.

  • Secrets are bad. This was announced to me during one of the frequent demands for my council wherein a group of about four girls (quickly joined by four others) came marching over to inform me that C wanted to speak with Boo privately but that that wasn't fair because you're not supposed to have secrets and anyway it made A feel bad that she wasn't included. For the record i told them that "speaking privately" was not the same as "telling secrets" unless it was done in order to make someone feel bad and that Boo was the one who got to decide whether or not she felt like being "spoken privately" to... which I gather was somewhat unorthodox because everyone looked a little surprised. As they were walking away one of the little girls whispered to another little girl that "Boo got to pick because her mom's here..."

  • The concept of "Being popular" seems to hang on a child differently based on whether you're a boy or a girl. Boo seems to be very popular with her little group in that there was much tussling over who got to play with her and much discussion over who she "liked better" yet it was patently clear that this type of "popularity" was not making her particularly happy. In fact, it was making her worried-looking and a little stessed. on more than one occassion she just walked away from the squabbling group and ran across the playground to come lay on my lap and relax for a minute before one of the other girls came to collect her. By contrast the most obviously popular boy (him being the one who was most obviously orchestrating the larger games and whose opinion was sought out by the others in the group should there be a need for a ruling vis a vis some interaction) was loud and confident and clearly comfortable with his position. Then too, for him popularity seemed to mean he got to order people around. For Boo it seemed as though she got ordered around more.

  • There was one little girl who the other children just don't play with and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. She's small, tinier than Boo even, quiet, polite, loves to get hugged.... It's strange. She seems to crave attention - my first day observing she came running up and threw her arms around my leg, smiling happily before asking who exactly I was... And I've seen her give the other children hugs (she's always hugging Boo) and when I mentioned to Boo that maybe she'd like to play, Miss Boo shrugged and went over and invited her to follow them in their game but kids just didn't seek her out to play with. I'm going to see if Boo can tell me when next I get a chance to talk to my kid because it was just so not obvious to me why she'd be an outcast.

  • Kids play be their own rules. If you don't have something to bring to the table, you are not interesting to them. It doesn't seem to matter what it is though, just that you can do something interesting. A number of times I saw kids just stop what they were doing to watch some other kid do something interesting for a bit before running back off to play. And kids who noone was playing with, if they managed to get a hold of a ball or suddenly got very interested in their shoelace, would suddenly find themselves part of a group who would swirl around them until they became uninteresting again then they would disperse. The thing is none of it felt mean-spirited, really. Everyone was basically polite -- it was just very clear that these kids had to have a reason to notice you. In other words empathy didn't seem to be the prime motivator out there on the schoolyard this morning!

    Whew! Anyway, those were ust some of the things I found to be interesting this mornign whilst out watching my kid interact with the other kids. Man, I'm kind of glad i'm a grown-up (kind of. I'd forgotten how fun teatherball can be!) Anyway... my lunch is finished and now I'm just avoiding real work so i'm off...

    I hope everyone has the very best Thanksgiving ever! Ciao, for now!
  • Tuesday, November 25, 2003

    well, it's late (ish) and I'm tired because I've staying up writing stuff and making stuff and testing stuff and I have been home from school for two hours now and for some obscene reason I am not asleep. I'm not even sleepy. I mean I am sleepy but not in the way that I need to be in order to GO . TO . SLEEP .... so... here I am blogging.

    Have I mentioned lately, how much I like school? I heart school. And it's NOT just because my professor is soooo amazingly smart and cute and nice. I just like it is all. oooo! Two interesting things happened tonight.

    1) A girl in my class told me that my paper (the one I wrote on my leadership project last year) was used in her class last week as the "model paper" -- meaning students who didn't know what sort of paper they should write were shown mine as an example(!!) An example of what, I have no idea....

    2) I found out that tomorrow is the last day to register for classes for the spring. I found this out in a casual conversation orchestrated by my aforementioned cutie teacher {sigh} Anyway, so, it would appear that I am registering for classes tomorrow before I go to Miss Boo's class for my second round of "observations" (for the paper that I'm writing in one of my classes, not because I think there's anything suspect about the way Boo's schooling is being conducted.... Actually, just for the record, Boo's teacher rocks!) after which I'm going into my actual work place to finish one project and begin testing on another one (yay, me!) And you wonder why it is I feel the need to stay awake all night when I quite obviously would be doing well to rest the hell up for my big day tomorrow?? ME TOO! {sigh again, albeit more of a resigned one than the former which was definitely more "crushy"} I'm gonna go lie very still and see if my body can rest control of my mind for a least a few hours....

    Monday, November 24, 2003

    "It doesn't matter if you're a star...

    Doesn't matter who or what you are!
    Just grab a guitar
    And get to rocking
    That's rock and roll!

    Found a Shaun Cassidy tape at Community Thrift for a dollar (is it just me or have they gotten hella expensive?? C'mon kids, it's not like you're Amoeba West!) And I have just got to say, my goodness, it's been a long time. Let me begin by putting it completely out there that I was an active member of the SC fan club; I had his album on vinyl (in fact it was my number one make-out partner during those lean years between 11 and 17); I watched every single episode of Hardy Boys (including re-runs) and I even went so far as to temporarily disown/stop speaking to my best friend Cammy when she dared to suggest that perhaps, just perhaps (she later recanted) Parker might be the better boyfriend of the two...(!!) So, anyway, popped in that tape and hand to God, I was twelve again - bouncing around in my seat, grinning like a maniac at the boys in the Chevy Malibu next to me ("Da Doo Ron Ron Run"? Anybody?? c'mon, they were in a Malibu you know they were feeling me!) I even teared up a little when we got to the "sad" song: "Mornin' Girl...."

    "Well, a man is hard to find in a woman's land"
    Oh, don't let too many tears, wash away your dreams!
    Just tell yourself that nothing matters {sweeping musical crescendo}
    just be prepared..."

    I mean, sure it makes no sense ("hard to find a man in a women's world? WTF?) but still!!! That little emotional warble he throws in at the end freaking slays me!!

    K. So, last night I went to the 8th annual Miss TrannyShack pageant with my buddy Angel which basically means, I went by myself.

    {This is us preparing for the evening in the tiny, crowded, yet still disturbingly tidy bathroom at Angel and Dirty Boy's aparte-mont}

    Chick: Don't leave me tonight.
    Angel: {peering intently into cracked mirror - applying the second set of false eyelashes} I will not leave you tonight.
    Chick: Promise.
    Angel: I promise.
    Dirty Boy: What're you guys doing tonight?
    Chick: We're going to Tranny Shack. Angel says he's not going to leave me to go running after some girly boy but I don't believe him.
    Dirty Boy: {to Angel} What about Texas guy?
    Angel: {rolls eyes} What about him? I am not going to pick up boys. I am going to hang out with my dear friend Chick whom I never see and who I love {stops for a moment to survey what I like to call an outfit} and who needs to change her top.
    Chick: Change my top?? What's wrong with my top?! I love this top! And who even says "top" anyway??! It's a shirt! I'll bet you say "soda" too...!
    {Angel rolling eyes again flicks light switch on wall shutting off primary illumination and magically turning on black light revealing thousands of shimmery cat hairs and what looks an awful lot like a Monica Lewinsky-style man-juice stain smack in the middle of my chest} Fine. What have you got for me to wear. {Angel produces fairly cool sequined baseball shirt; DB smirks at stain, Chick mumbles through disconcertingly complicated "top"} Promise me you won't leave me.
    Angel: {back at the mirror} I promise I will not leave you.

    {At venue}

    Angel: Ohmigawd, look at her!
    Chick: You said you were going to stay with me!
    Angel: I am staying with you. God woman, you have got some serious abandonment issues -- As far as I am concerned we are Martin and Eng.
    Chick: Who?
    Angel: Martin and Eng. Those Chinese twins. The ones that were stuck together...
    Chick: "Martin?"
    Angel: Whatever. Didn't they end up getting married?
    Chick: Who?
    Angel: Martin and Eng!
    Chick: I don't think the one twin's name was "Martin"
    Angel: Whatever darling... {scans crowd} I'm getting drinks. Wait here. Don't want to lose my better half, ha ha! {moves off into crowd smiling happily into beautifully mascaraed faces}

    And, yes, for all of those of you who guessed that that was the last time I saw him you are correct! Diane, tell em what they've won! Bitch.

    No worries though, our Chick is nothing if not resourceful and quickly made friends with some German chick and her "here for six months to study dance -- have you been to the Lexington club?" eentourage. All brillant people and particularly nice to have someone my size to commiserate with when the sweaty, vaseline covered (albeit still rather hot) gay boys finished their musical numbers and decided to climb en masse onto the platforms where we we also sort of trying to occupy space. They were pretty respectful though -- asking if it was o.k. that they were sitting on our feet/leaning their stinky, man-sweat-soaked bodies against our pristine, formerly girl smelling thighs -- so it was all good.

    For the record, my love affair with the beauty that is the tall, goddess-like, drag queen continues unabated. I mean, seriously, you would be hard pressed to show me a gesture that is so completely evocative of a swan sailing past on a warm summer night as the gesture that is an impossibly tall, amazingly sequined, pink-haired creature bending forward with an accomodating smile (always with the smile!) to better hear what some lackey has to say to her. Simply put, I was dazzled. By the way, last year's Queen performed this year as well - that girl is hot!

    I was also introduced to a new concept - Girl Drag Queens. Not Drag Kings, but Female bodied persons dressed in Tranny drag, lipsyncing to catchy pop songs. There was a girl there last night who was amazing (her performance was so freaking awesome it practically brought the damn house down) and I'm sure if audience response was any measure she won hands down (I left circa 1:00ish to drop some Germans off in the Mission then crawl back into my oh-so-inviting bed -- right this second? Dying from lack of sleep. Thanks for asking.) so I didn't see who won but it does beg the question of what one has to be to be TrannyShack Queen. I mean, isn't kind of the point that you're Transgendering it up in some way or another. Not that girls in general are somehow closer to Drag Queens than boys thus giving them some kind of unfair advantage -- they're not, I checked -- but I dunno, it still sort of seems unfair, maybe because she was sooo good. It's like "Martin" and Eng being allowed to take part in the annual South Valley Pride picnic three-legged race... Anyway. VH-1 was there so look for me soon on your local cable station. K. This is already far too long so I'm outtie but I just have to say on a final note: Spoken word? Especially if you're not Laurence Fishburn; has NO place in the talent portion of a TrannyShack show... Sorry, but it's just not the crowd-pleaser it once was....

    One last freebie...

    Friday, November 21, 2003

    I'm going to hell

    {phone rings}

    Old Friend: Chick?
    Chick: Yes?
    Old Friend: Hey! It's Old Friend!
    Chick: Oh, hey. How's it going?
    Old Friend: Good! How're things out there?
    Chick: Good.
    Old Friend: Cool! Hey I just talked to Dirty Boy and he says you're doing well. He said you're really being great to him!
    Chick: Oh... really?
    Old Friend: Yeah! He said you're totally taking care of him and making sure he's "hooked up" {laugh} whatever that means...
    Chick: Uh, yeah, heh heh...
    Old Friend: Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks anyway, I mean, I know he kind of just showed up and {lowers voice} I gotta say, we were a little bit worried when they said they wanted to go out there... {lowers voice further} Did Angel tell you... He thinks he's... gay??
    Chick: Oh, um, yeah, he mentioned it. I mean I'm cool with it, you've only got one life to live right?
    Old Friend: Yeah, I guess. It just seems a little... I mean, I don't know... he's just, you know....
    Chick: Yeah.
    Old Friend: Well, {dismissive laugh} maybe he'll meet someone nice out there and it'll all take care of itself. He probably just needed to get away for a little bit. {laugh again} Hey, got any girlfriends you could set him up with?
    Chick: Ha! Um, yeah, I mean, not really... I think he's doing just fine on his own. I'll keep an eye out though, heh heh...
    Old Friend: Cool. Hey, is DB seeing anybody? I asked him what he was getting into out there but you know how he is...
    Chick: Uh, yeah, I sure do... Um, I think he's seeing this one girl...
    Old Friend: Really? Is she nice?
    Chick: She's cool.
    Old Friend: Is she pretty?
    Chick: Uh. Yeah, I guess... she has pink hair and lots of holes in her face... [I didn't really say that last bit]
    Old Friend: Well, that's good. O.k. I'm going to go. Just wanted to check up on the Baby Brother.
    Chick: Well, thanks for calling, maybe we can have lunch or something next time I'm in New Mex.
    Old Friend: Yeah, that would be great!
    Chick: K.
    Old Friend: Hey, Chick...?
    Chick: Hmmmm?
    Old Friend: {lowers voice} I know I don't need to tell you this but... could you kind of keep an eye on DB? Sort of make sure he's not getting into anything he can't handle?
    Chick: Um, sure. I guess... Yeah, no problem
    Old Friend: Cool! Thanks, you DO NOT know how glad I am that you were already out there. I mean, it just makes us feel better that he could be out there with someone who's established, you know? Who knows us, who can kind of take care of him...
    Chick: ...
    Old Friend: Anyway, I'll let you go. Thanks for looking out. I'll see you soon, K?
    Chick: K.


    On a completely unrelated note - this morning in the elevator some man asked if my kid went to a Montessori school. I said "nope" to which he replied "Wow, you look exactly like a Montessori parent I used to work with. Hmmmm. I look exactly like a "Montessori parent" on the one hand kind of interesting, on the other, makes me want to go home and change into something with stains in obvious places....

    Thursday, November 20, 2003

    With sound turned on, please

    This has got to be the funniest thing I've seen in a very long while...

    (Here it is spelled out just in case...

    Thanks, EP!

    Jeanine Garofalo naked!!!!

    Have I mentioned how much I like Ms. Garofalo? This morning, for some reason which I have not yet figured out, I found myself thinking "hmmmmm, haven't heard from Ms. Garofalo in a bit, wonder what she's up to?" I then did a quickey web search and came across

    an interview with Eddie Vedder

    and this site which is penned by some guy and which interestingly enough, has nothing to do with Jeanine Garofalo but upon which he posted, as a kind of litmus test the following phrases:

    Jeanine Garofalo naked

    Jeanine Garofalo nude

    Jeanine Garofalo pics

    just to see what kind of traffic he'd pull in. I don't know about you but I find this fascinating... (I mean, he pulled me right?) That plus the fact that he sounds like my cousin in Minnesota (which is not bad; just very, very, STRAIGHT)... Anyway, moving along...

    The girl I like has this to say about orchestras:

    I love orchestra, it's my favorite because I feel like I can actually let go of all my self-conscious hangups and just enjoy music, enjoy contributing to something much larger than just my instrument, something that makes sense on a broader deeper level.

    O.K. now I bring this up because part of the reason I am so freaking fascinated by her is because she is honestly in love with something I know nothing about. I mean, this is her life -- music. Not just music but orchestral music. Well, it's not her entire life (at least I assume) but still... I dunno, I just think it's pretty phenomenal to be young and talented and finding real holistic beauty in something that is not specifically packaged, aimed at, marketed toward, whathaveyou, "youth today". K. sorry, i'm sensing that this whole post is going to be kind of rambley but what're ya gonna do? No, seriously...!

    Last and probably least in all this is the fact that we're having another bake sale so I'm surrounded by mounds of sugary-goodness! mmmmmm. bake sales. Anyway, made brownies (again) and every time I go through this particular exercise I find myself thinking "Dammit, why didn't I leave half of these at home?!" This morning is no different and as I'm digging through my wallet for change so I can go buy back one of the brownies I made, I am once again forced to confront the wonder that is modern day existence in the corporate world... ah. well... c'est la vie and all of that...

    Tuesday, November 18, 2003

    At least they're not psychopaths...!

    I don't know about you but I find that every so often I feel the need to stop what I'm doing and reflect (really reflect) on the fact that regardless of all the highs and lows of my former relationships and the myriad reasons why my "then-partners" became "Ex"s, no matter what else I could say about them (and granted that's not much since they -- every last one of them down to their spangley tipped blue seude shoes, were princes who deserved better than my pathetic self in their lives... except for that one... she was a kind of a pain... kidding! Anyway...) they were not (and continue to not be) psychopaths. I bring this up because there's a new girl here at work who was just telling me about her ex (psycho!) who currently has nothing better to do than drive by her new apartment trying to see if she and her daughter are home. Great! Yeah, I know I'm lucky, but seriously, the extent to which I am lucky occurs to me now again in all it's fullest glory and I find I must stop, take a minute and thank all those people who have given me bits of themselves throughout the years and who didn't (tempting as it may have been) turn into pyscho-beasts when the time came to give those bits back. Bless you.

    In other news, my kid likes old books. This is only a little spooky because I, myself LOVE old books and I have a entire shelf devoted to weathered, leatherbound masterpeices I've collected (mostly from my G-ma's house) over the years; but still, it is slightly disconcerting because the kid has sixteen thousand books of her own plus a good four square feet or so of MamaChick books within easy reach yet she still went to the trouble to clear off the ottoman, stack up some pillows, and balance precariously on one foot while she reeeeaaaached up to grab a particularly dingy (mmmmmm, dingy leather books.....) tome which she then brought to the couch so she could hold it upside down and pretend to read it.

    Now, seriously, I ask you, I'm thinking there's no possible way the love of old books could be genetic but still... it's not like she ever sees me reading them, I just like staring at them. Anyway, I found the book last night when I was (eh, hem) "cleaning the living room" (aka sitting on the couch watching Joe Millionaire) and noticed that were I to have had a child placed with us and were the social worker to make one of their impromptu visits then they would no doubt be thrilled to learn my six-year-old is reading "Callhouse Madam." Yup, bring on the kiddies...!

    Here are some interesting links I found on the Amish Tech Support site. I was going to do some involved intro to each but I'm too tired.

    First, the real news...

    Meatloaf is rushed to hospital

    Then the rest...

    If you can't vote do you have rights?

    and, Americans are "different" -- and I don't think that's "different", Ha Ha...

    Monday, November 17, 2003


    That was hairy! Meetings all morning and more this afternoon. Sheesh! Anyways, week-end was splendid! I had several hot dates (mostly with very small children) which was great! Took the eldest of the B children to see Boo's movie then met up betwixt and between with the ever-fabulous Travelin' Man who's freshly back from "backing" around various places considered "out" who was squiring the B-Twins about town and who is my own personal repository for all great ideas vis a vis assembling things from glass/metal. (Mr. TM also brought me back THE WORLD'S COOLEST PRESENT from Aussie-land, that...or rather those, being circular refrigerator magnets from some chicken eaterie out there with the words "Chick Magnet" emblazoned pon them. We wuv!)

    O.K., quick which line of the following statement made MamaChick DIE after first dissolving into a puddle of gushy kid-love when delivered with an absolute serious face by her Boo:

    Boo: A. [horrid child from school] was mean to me today.
    Chick: Whad she do?
    Boo: She asked me who I liked better and I said C. so she hit me.
    Chick: She hit you?
    Boo: Yeah. Then i tried to ask her something and she just walked away.
    Chick: Well, [thinking: she hit you???! seething hatred building up, developing plans to have child arrested and/or excommunicated] I wouldn't take it personally. I don't think she's a very secure little girl.
    Boo: What's "secure"?
    Chick: When you feel safe and listened to and loved.
    Boo: ...
    Boo: I'm secure.
    Chick: [Dying!] You sure are! [Still and all though that kid is toast!]

    More later promise...!

    I'm going to post the usual long-winded ramble about the week-end of champions just past but before I can do that I must go meet about "naming conventions." So, in the interim, since I can't just sit here not typing anything, let me instead remark on the fact that the girl I like just got the world's coolest coat...! Why, oh why, must I live in a "temperate clime" wherein your outter wear choices are either "light" or "ski"??!

    Also, got my paper back from my Beautiful Professor. She's mad at me because I managed to mangle every single existing APA citation formatting standard known to the modern world. What??! It's not like I'm in grad school or anything...! Oh... wait...

    K. I'm outtie...

    Friday, November 14, 2003

    Being Bi

    What being Bi means...
    Being "Bi" means that if you're on MUNI and you notice that some boy has a particularly nice butt you immediately start looking for a girl with a separate yet equally nice bottom so you can justify your attraction to the Boy butt without feeling like some visitor to the land of all the other attractive-yet-for-some-reason-still-not-getting-laid heterosexuals.

    Being "Bi" does NOT mean that your chances of aformentioned laid-ness are necessarily any better, it really just sort of means you get rejected by twice as many people.

    That is unless you're married to a hot chick and in an open relationship wherein you have a boy or two (and perhaps another girl or two) giving it to you regular-like on the side. Then, being "Bi" pretty much means all cake all the time...! at least that's what I hear....

    So, today I am in a good mood. Partly because I managed to make a dear friend's life hell ()Thanks OG, I owe you one!) and partly because I just am. I had a fun evening with my kid, I had a relaxed stroll to the bus this morning where I got to watch two of the world's most wondrous butts swaying gently in front of me for close to five minutes. Seriously, who can complain with this kind of life?

    Speaking of which, I was trying to explain to Boo this morning that she can't have everything all the time and she at one point looked up at me with absolute frankness and said "Why not?"

    Why not indeed? I threw out the old "Try concentrating on the things you have got instead of the things you haven't" (Thanks, G-ma!) but I could tell she wasn't particularly convinced that that was the path she wanted to pursue vis a vis this whole "getting everything" stance. Well, you do what you can do right? I mean, i'd be cool if she could figure out a way to get everything she wanted all the time. It's not like I think it's somehow beyond her. I'm more concerned with whether or not she's happy in the interim....

    Thursday, November 13, 2003


    Yay! Last night as I was walking home from BART, I happened upon Best Buddy Q waiting at the bus stop near my house and as such got to have a good twenty minutes of unexpected "hang out" time with her PLUS a bonus glimpse of the ever-fabulous Little Lu! Sometimes the timing in my life is just so right!

    K. So, I just fired off an e-mail to all my assorted managers explaining my "adoption plans" again lest they forget (again) that it's something I'm planning to do and neglect (again) to factor in time in which they must learn to live without me for a bit so that I can get my New-Boo settled in... I currently inhabit a very strange state of expectation wherein I never know if announcements like these will cause every single person in the entire world to lose their minds but heck, at least this time I'm ready for it.

    In other news, I would like to offer a clarification/rebuttal re: yesterday's post submitted by a regular reader of our forum.

    Apparently, it is the studied opinion of this individual that I "totally misrepresented" gestures and/or remarks made yesterday by this well-meaning guest in my home -- apparently aforementioned gestures/remarks were "a joke" and I have been advised that I should "stop thinking everything is about me." That being said, this individual would also like it known that he or she has "no interest" in pursuing relations with "a dried up tw**" like myself and as such I should "consider myself lucky" that he or she continues to occassionally become so "desparate" that they appear to be making themselves available to the likes of me.

    Our lovely reader goes on to opine that I quite often come across as "a total c***" and that I need to stop "bad-mouthing other people's jobs" just because I "get paid to suck d*** all day" rather than doing actual work.

    Right. For the record, I'd like to formally respond that I was not in fact making fun of anyone's new employment. I feel that phone solicitation is a valid and fabulous way to make money and if I ever run out of d***s to suck, I may just look into it as my next career choice. Above and beyond that, I think this reader's otherwise astute analysis of the situation as it occured in my livingroom yesterday is quite probably a correct one and I will therefore let it stand. [DB=Whiney...Little...Prick.] Alrighty then, moving along...

    Me and the Boo (and the eldest of the Missus B's children) will be out and about this glorious city by the Bay either taking in a flick (Boo's actually in this so I would recommend everyone who is dying to say they knew her when queing up for some tix...) or watching some quality acrobatics. This all depends on permission from the Little B's parents, ticket sales and Boo-mood so nothing is set in stone, just wanted to give a head's up to those stalkers out there trying to plan their next "crouch and wait".

    Wednesday, November 12, 2003

    Warm and sweet

    Dirty Boy is sitting here right now being sweet to me. By that I guess i kind of mean he's not being ANNOYING which is a weird way to define goodness but you take what you can get, right? Anyway, I bring this up because we are discussing his NEW JOB so I suppose Congratulations are in order! Our beautiful little skateboarding child will be one of those fabulous few who call you while you're trying to eat supper and attempt to harrangue you into purchasing tickets to the police officer's ball. Note: He is not a police officer. He is not even close. So, if for any reason, you feel the need to hang up on him (and his cold-calling friends) but think perhaps you ought not because he IS the LAW after all -- no worries! Disconnect at will! Just don't be all mean about it since it's just a freaking job and it's not like he's intentionally trying to ruin your life.

    You know another thing I realized about DB (since he's sitting on the floor in front of me watching Hedwig I feel compelled to write about him -- mostly because he's not going to realize it until he gets to school and checks the site, hee hee) is that he's got two modes: Annoying, arrogant, filthy mouthed, skater boy who could not freaking catch a clue if his life depended on it and sweet, adorable, really quite smart skater boy who catches far more clues than he lets on... But the thing is these modes, they can switch in the blink of an eye. It's disconcerting I tell ya...!

    Case in point, he shows up a little while ago; let's himself in (I know! Why give a degenerate the key to your house? Do NOT think I haven't had that exact thought many a time....!) and after helping himself to some tasties from the fridge decides he needs to find out what I'm doing. I (for those of you who like details) am taking a shower. A nice long shower. The kind of shower that goes on for hours because you've basically decided to blow off the seminar you're auditing in favor of doing some real work that you need to finish by the end of the month and which, all things considered, you're kind of on a roll with and since you're on a roll, why not indulge a little and take some time out to stand under a warm, pulsing showerhead for the better part of an hour... So, DB figures out that it's probably not the cat using all that water and decides to not just enter the bathroom but to actually go ahead and make himself comfortable (having a little sit-down, flipping through a magazine) so, I being gracious despite the fact that I am being MASSIVELY inconvienienced ask in as polite as possible a way what the hell he's doing here, in my town, in my house, and in my bathroom. Then realizing I really don't care, i ask (again, in as polite a tone as it's possible for the human voice to register) if perhaps he wouldn't mind getting the hell out so that I may continue my bathe. Instead of replying to this absolutely reasonable and measured request he instead replies "Come out. I'll dry you off."

    Now. I think we all know a little of the history twixt the two of us and as we are also all well aware of the fact that I have given up young boys for Lent I think it comes as no surprise to anyone that I replied with a curt "Hell, no!" followed up with what seemed a fairly simple directive "Go do something! Go in the living room. Watch a movie or something. i've got stuff I have to do." (The voice may have trailed into a bit of a whine during that last bit but I would humbly ask that my readership consider that the stream of water was getting a bit cold). "C'mon" quoth he (Quick note: there's this whole thing I do where I completely ignore the tiny voices screaming in my head and just do whatever it is I'm asked. I know. I'm working on it.) So, I say "O.K." and step out into the FREEZING-NESS that is my now cramped bathroom and allow Mr. DB to actually dry me off. With a nice fluffy towel. And you know what? It felt really good! He got all the crevices and stuff but didn't try to get frisky even once. Up one leg and down the other. Pat, pat, pat. ruffled through the hair; inside the ears; turn around so he can do the back... I don't think I've ever been so thoroughly dried...! All the while with this serious, frowney look on his face. Then, towel folded and draped over drying rack. Bathrobe offered, he picks up his magazine and wanders out into living room to flop down on couch. It's times like these when I realize that I'd marry him if he asked. So, feeling fresh and glowing and loved I finish up in the bathroom with some of the detail work before wandering out to join him in the living room only to be greeted by a grinning, sprawling discusting boy pointing happily to a certain suddenly prominent body part and inquiring whether or not I feel like "taking care of it"! EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!! What the hell is wrong with boys???! Sorry, with some boys.... No. Not even "some" boys, ALL boys. What is it that all boys are really some twisted combination of split personalities and that those personalities are usually completely opposite? Anyways. I threw my pen at him and told him to get the hell out of my house since I have to work. He, of course, took this to mean "Stay. watch a movie!" and for the last little bit has been sitting cross-legged in front of the TV having some yogurt. {sigh}

    Tuesday, November 11, 2003

    My newest obsession

    K. everyone go here and sign up and start reading about stuff and commenting on stuff. Go ahead, i'll wait... Hmmm hmmm hmmm {twiddles thumbs, checks bottom of shoe for possible rock inclusion...} You back? Great! How was it? Did you run across an article containing this series of sentences:

    "Besides, what if being a housewife did mean your worries revolved around cooking and keeping the house in order? Is that any less noble than your worries revolving around total quality initiatives and process optimization so that the company you work for can make a little bit more money?"

    If not, here's a link:

    You'll notice I actually took the trouble to write out the entire thing just on the off chance that someone out there for whatever reason isn't quite clear what the random occassionally underlined word means and thinks that perhaps it may just be a device for showing additional emphasis. I went to this trouble for one simple reason. This is, in my opinion a good article written from a viewpoint that is rarely championed.

    I mean I've heard lots of people attempting to justify stay-at-home-parenthood because it's better for the babies, the parent gets to be a part of those all important "milestones", it's more cost efficient since childcare in this country is feaking outrageous in terms of cost/month (not that I'm saying decent kid-care providers are not worth it -- I absolutely think that the wonderful woman who raised my child was woefully underpaid... I'm just thinking more in terms of more state subsidies or corporation grants to assist in offsetting child-related expenses) all of which are absolutely valid but how often is it that we hear the plain unvarnished truth that having "a career" in this day and age quite often sucks and that we in the working-for-pay world might just want to re-think our decisions to spend eight hours every day ensuring that by the time we reach retirement we will be unable to see (what with the daily exposure to flickering monitors, flourescent lighting and various chemicals wafting merrily around those vacuum sealed buildings), feed or bathe ourselves (Once the carpal tunnel syndrome really sets in we'll be lucky if we can even tug the elastic waist back up over our expanded, saggy bellies after a trip to the little programmer's room), or sit up straight (Mark my words, we will be a society of hunchbacks before the century ends). Now, I'm not saying I personally feel like joining the ranks of those who find their primary conversations tend to revolve around diaper wipes, bizarre rashes and the refusal to ingest anything green but seriously, considering the fact that the last lengthy conversation I had in this place was about how very wasted my buddy was this week-end combined with a blow-by-blow description of the projectile vomitting that accompanied this bender... well, it's just not like there's a clear distinction as to which is the loftier pursuit....

    Monday, November 10, 2003

    I *heart* my friends!

    All of em! Just love every single one of them into tiny little peices! K. Quick thank you (THANK YOU!) to the boyz at Hayseed house for their timely intervention into my about-to-become-HUGELY-frustrated-with-my-inability-to-transfer-files-to-the-server life. Granted they didn't actually DO anything other than sit there and watch while my (stupid) laptop suddenly decided to start behaving itself but you know what, sometimes I think that's what tech support is all about -- seriously, I think my machine can sense when it's in the presence of persons who know how to definitively kick it's 10gig ass (do the words "fresh install of the OS" mean anything to you LapBoy??!) so it straightens up and flies right! Either that or it started working because I was hooked directly into thier network... Whatever, all I know is Emerson and Pretty Boy, you collectively and individually rock!

    Other happenings around town included a viewing of Cirque du Soleil - Alegria which was awesome! Sort of a mixed reaction from the Boo. She was loving it all very much but at the same time wanted to do everything she saw the performers doing so we kept saying "Well, if you practice now, when you get big you can audition to be a part of the show." which almost worked until they brought out this little kid to be a part of one of the stunts. Stupid little kid. (Not really, but he/she sure did blow a really great explanation as to why exactly it was our Boo could not go be part of the show. It was almost scary how quickly it switched from "something she could concentrate on and do when she got big" to why exactly it was that we, her parents, weren't a bit more well connected in terms of the circus world!)

    Last but certainly not least, quick observation vis a vis all the really cute people in the world. This started with me thinking that some of my various Exs were really quite attractive as far as categories of peeps out loose in the world go but then Tony showed up looking very much the adorable boy and some girl on the elevator had it going on as well... so, just a general shout out -- If you are doing your part today to add to the beauty that is the world, Good Job! Keep up the good work. I, for one, am very much appreciative of all your efforts!

    Friday, November 07, 2003

    And we're half way there...

    K. So, turned in the first of the three "career make or break" projects to the Head Honcho this morning and she liked (Yay!) {huge, freaking sigh of relief}. Second work project is coming along nicely due entirely to the kick-ass ministrations of the team I'm working with so I'm not super worried about that one coming in on time and under buget (which, given that our budget is zero is actually kind of funny) third project is being studied today and may get a major push forward this afternoon in which case, it too, will be all about the roses. On the school front, four major papers have been written; we still have one group presentation to do (next week) and one more paper for each class due but not until early December so we're good there. Re: personal projects, I have one website to build by the end of the month (eek!) which I have not even started the design for (double eek!) Meanwhile, the Boo and I are working on a "Pick Us, Dammit!" book for our case worker to take to the matching meetings that needs to be done by Monday (and which is A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E BTW) and somewhere in amongst all of this, I am going to want to HAVE SEX! (Not going to happen but gawd, sure would be nice... Anyway, moving along...) Oops, sorry. not actually moving along. Just realized it's meeting time so I'm off, off, off...

    But first, quick welcome home to our Travelin' Man, not sure what the opposite of "Outback" is -- "Infront"? k, just thought of all sorts of stupid jokes to the tune of "Down in front" that I'm gong to spare you, my beautiful and stylish audience because i *Heart* each and every one of you more than life itself! (Did I mention we're going to see Cirque Du Soleil - Alegria on Sundee with the crew? I only bring this up because there is the slightest chance that I love Le Cirque the tiniest bit more than I love some of you but, no worries, we can go to counseling or something and get it all figured out....) Also, my buddy Saltlick has ventured into the world of blogging so I've added him to my list of links, that he may reap the largess of mine own estate (Just don't go liking him better than me and spending all your time on his site instead of mine!! eh, hem. Sorry. Aboandonment issues. I'm fine now...) K. really. I have to go. would you stop with the begging me to keep writing...???????! Sheesh. You are a needy bunch today!

    Thursday, November 06, 2003

    Was that an earthquake?

    Hmmmm. Nice to live in a place where the rumbling of a large bus can be so easily misconstrued! So... just got back from the first annual Parent/Teacher Boo 1st grade conference. My child "demonstrates good skills in the areas of language arts and math. She is a conscientious student and a sensitive, kind friend to her peers. Boo is a delightful student!" {sigh} We so Heart that kid. On the one hand it's like "Of course!" On the other it's like "Wow! Where'd she get that from??" Either way it's cool and nice and I am unbelievably blessed. Right. Back to work now...

    Wednesday, November 05, 2003


    People should be naked more often. Not like in public or anything (Unless they're phenomenally attractive in which case it should be a felony to wear clothes unless it's snowing) but just in general. Like in their real lives. Just got home from work? take your clothes off and relax a little. Making din-din? Throw an apron on over your birthday suit and have at it! Just got out of the shower? Take a second or two to read a magazine standing in front of the ole heater -- I mean, seriously, whatever happened to the concept of the air-dry?? Now admitedly, being the semi-recluse that I am it is hard for me to determine the current state of America's nakedness, all I'm saying is I've been wandering around in nothing but skin for the last half hour or so and it feels pretty good. Then again, I'm brown. I have this theory about brown people always sort of feeling dressed but that may just be because I simply cannot understand how my lighter-skinned brethern manage to make it through the day without copious layers of sun-shielding clothes worn over a generous slathering of sunblock SPF 360. Anyway, crude, half-thought out, border-line racist generalities aside, I do have to say I like the nakedness. Now, though, I am off to school. You all will have to excuse me while I slip into something a little less comfortable.

    Tuesday, November 04, 2003

    Mixed mood today

    Was feeling fairly fresh and sporty this morning until I got the heads up from El Torito that Todd and the Enforcer were questioning my proclivity to "always" call in sick on Mondays - they were just wondering if there was "a situation they should be aware of." Now while my first response was f*** em! and my second was "Tell them I'm an alcoholic!" my third slightly more useless exercise in checking out the actual facts as if anyone is going to care, was to review the timesheet records. Five Monday absences in the last 6 months. One was to register for school (check, sent a lengthy e-mail to everyone even remotely interested in my billability), one was Labor Day, One was Memorial day, which leaves us with two sick days in 6 month. And we're back to f*** em!

    Know what's nice though, getting a sweet drunken e-mail from a boy who likes my butt. I gotta tell ya, never underestimate to power to charm contained within a single straightforward compliment re: someone's body parts!

    Let's see... what else.... Gosh, I think that's it actually. I'm just going to go put a finishing touch or two on my paper that's due tonight then I'm off to the first in a series of very important meetings! Hooray, me! Hooray, meetings!

    Monday, November 03, 2003

    Sick. Again. Still.

    Yup, sick. Sitting at home. Not so very unhappy about it though since it's finally feeling like winter and the day is crisp and clean(ish) and all I have to do is NOT concentrate on the millions of things yet to be done and focus (focus, focus) on getting better. Although, not super sure how that's going to happen what with my chronic avoidance of exercise, healthy food, vitamins, non-sick individuals and a decent night's sleep.... who knows, I've been phenomenally lucky lately (case in point: yesterday was a veritable orgy of good timing, minor miracles and parking spaces materializing out of nowhere) so maybe, just maybe, i will kick this latest bug as well. Probably not. it'd be nice though to have a night where I don't have dreams about suffocating/choking (damn, inflamed tonsils!!) anyway. I'm home. If anyone misses me overly much, send chocolate.

    Cute Boo Acrobatics Teacher who I made a fool of myself in front of last week -- rides motorcycle. Nuff said.

    Halloween was fun. A bit light on the T&T onna counta alternate plans were developed by the somewhat less than communicative CP so we had to do our candy-grabbing in SF fairly quickly before heading back to the Oaktown side to meet up with other interested parties for more Treating, thing was though, by the time we got to the East Bay, Miss Boo was pretty tuckered and we didn't have a known spot to disembark (we might have had I been informed of the plans earlier than 7pm Halloween eve but there you go -- tandem child-rearing! Joy!) Actually, though, I'm pretty sure it was just me who was disappointed/annoyed. Kid was tired at the end but still seemed to have a swell time. She ran into every single kid in her school all dressed up and high on sugar so I spose it all came out in the wash.

    Rest of week-end was fun as well. We went to the circus which was FANTASTIC. The animal acts were o.k. (dogs = cute; lady tiger tamer = o.k. in a "didn't-get-eaten kind of way); The people acts though were amazing! Lots of brown performers which was nice. One guy tied himslef up in knots which Boo loved! My personal favorites were the Chinese Acrobats (but I'm biased toward people throwing stuff around) also putting in an appearance, Double Dutchers and the drummers from Drumline all excellent but OMIGAWD there was this bit at the end where these motorcyclists from Chile raced around each other in a CIRCULAR CAGE for minutes on end without killing each other which was quite probably the most astounding thing I've ever seen in real life! Very cool. I'd recommend that everyone go next year or whenever they come back to the Bay area.

    Then, on Sundee, me and the Boo did some serious laundry (during which I became the recipient of four fabulous scenic marker drawings -- yay, me!) and after which I dropped her off with the fabulous Miss Tail while I went to attempt re-connection with an old friend of mine who just got back from a trip to India. K. mental note, when every response to a query includes the word "years" e.g. "How old is she now?" "Six years old"; "How long have you been in this apartment?" "About two years"; "when did you guys get married?" "Three years ago" -- all I'm saying is maybe a little more "keeping up" is in order. All of this is, of course, my fault. I am a loser when it comes to just freaking finding time to hang out. Sorry. The life keeps getting in the way. Apologies all round. (Not like it won't continue to happen, but at least know that I intend to see you guys. Honest, Keep inviting me to stuff, k??)

    Now, as you may have noticed, given the sheer amounts of fun crap we accomplished, I had the Boo full time over the last little bit and I must say I'm becoming spoiled. i did drag her all over the known universe though and for that I feel a bit bad. I have to remember that I have access to her for probably (hopefully) the next 12 years so I should maybe not try to cram everything into the few week-ends we've had lately where she's mine all mine (Hahaha)!!!

    eh, hem. Anyways, I'm going to slink back into bed now. Maybe more later if the mood strikes. Otherwise git back witcha later, Homes, Ciao!