Friday, June 20, 2003

Whew! That was close!


I came this close to thinking about posting something up here before going to get my special, free-trade, organic, picked by persons making more than 5 bucks per day, uber-aware mug o coffee with a shot of ghiradelli chocolate syrup on the side. Let's just say, I'm glad not only for you, my obsessed public, but also for the rest of the relatively oblivious free world that I came to my senses and re-thought that misguided attempt at a decision!

Now then, where were we? [sip] Ah, yes, today's post. Today's post concerns familiarity vis a vis casual conversation.

Run-in #1: On my way to pick up the kid yesterday, I notice cute dyke I recognize from days gone by (the strides in my confidence, BTW, can be measured in miles as I neither turned and ran, tripped over something tiny on the sidewalk nor forgot any names) I made eye contact, I smiled, I nodded as I hurried past, intent as i was on getting into my truck and to my child waiting, shivering alone in the cold for me to finally show up. (Actually, by the time i arrived at the camp, Boo was happily empoyed doing an United States puzzle; perfectly toasty, eating an orange. I swear that kid needs me not at all. Ah well, I will continue to cling to her until she kicks me away so she can ride unencumbered off into the sunset that is her grown up life.) At any rate, this run-in felt perfect. This is someone I know, whom I've spoken to on more than one occassion, whom I'm written a flirtatious note to now and again but (and this is key) this is not someone whose life I need to catch up on. Nor do I think she would burst into flame if she somehow missed hearing my hours long monologue re: work, kid, school, second kid, work again... blah, blah, blah. I know her, I like her, I may, at some point actually want to talk to her but for right now, I've more pressing issues to attend to.

I bring this up because this morning on the train I ran into one of my Dad's ex-girlfriends. The fact that she was in San Francisco and not in Phoenix where last I saw her (albeit 15 years ago) was in and of itself shocking; add to that, the fact that she looks exactly the same as she did back then and you get into truly bizzare territory. So, there I am clutching my transfer, hanging onto the rail thing (essentially looming over her) squawking "Dixie?" The female in question glanced up and said, with some aplomb (gotta hand it to Pops, he tends to hook up with smooth wimmins) replied: "Oh, hello, Chick." [she didn't really say Chick, but you get my meaning]. Which left us... where? My Dad and this female were together for 7 years, I met her a few times when they co-habitated in Phoenix. What I could remember off the top of my head was that she liked neutral colors and ate only the wings when my dad made fried chicken. Hardly a conversation starter. Still though, there I am, swaying above this lady to whom i can think of nothing to say, for the rest of the trip downtown, feeling weird -- why? Because, I felt like I had to say something. Why?? I didn't feel compelled to yak with my long-lost buddy yesterday, why all of a sudden must I begin channelling Miss Manners today in front of the woman who immediately bought me expensive new shoes after discovering what appeared to be {horrors} athelete's foot sprouting between my twelve year old toes during a visit to Pops one summer (I think it was actually sock fuzz -- Mom was furious when she found out that Miss Dix had not only doused us all with Tenactin, but then proceeded to wrap our old - perfectly serviceable - shoes in multiple layers of plastic shopping bags before carrying them out of the house to dispose of them in the curbside bin. God only knows what Dixie would have done if she saw what she took to be a flea.) I couldn't move or start reading my magazine or something, because now we'd acknowledged each other and it would have been rude. One thing that was made incredibly clear though was that when someone knows nothing of the last ten years of your life, getting them up-to-speed as it were is an incredibly daunting task. "Hmmm? No, I'm not working at the clothing store anymore, and I'm no longer dating Mike. I'm a lesbian now; unattached but co-parenting with a female Ex-partner of mine; living in Oakland; working as a Web Designer for a huge Insurance firm you've never heard of; also going to school to earn my EdD in Educational Policy. Kid is 5 and a half. She's great. Yeah, I still eat noodles all the time. Heh. [Dammit, I should have brought up the chicken wings!]" "Nice to see you to. Yeah, keep in touch! [Keep in touch??!]" {Sigh} life is wierd.

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