Two conversations...

Conversation #1

Chick:So, what kind of doll do you want?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:The light colored one [note use of the word "light" since extremely smart child knows that if she says "white" MommaChick will get all weirded out on her]
Chick:{getting all weirded out}Why?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:I dunno.
Chick:Is there something particular you like about the light one?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:Yeah, I just like her color.
Chick:There's one that's your color. Don't you like your color?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:{shrug}not really.
Chick:why?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:Dunno.
Chick: {Quick mental perusal of STB6YO's friends}Is it just dolls or do you like "light" people better too?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:I like "light" people better.
Chick:{!!} Why??
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:Because they say "I" like I do.
Chick:{lost}"I"?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:Instead of "ah". Like "Ahm going..."
Chick:You like light people because they sound like you?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:Yes.
Chick:But that's cultural. That's doesn't have anything to do with what color they are
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:...
Chick:You know that right?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:...
Chick:There are lots of brown people who sound like you. I sound like you.
Soon-to-be-6yr-old: Because you're not dark.
Chick:{?!}I'm not dark?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:No. The darker you are the more you sound like that.
Chick:hmmmmm. I don't think that's always true, Sweetie.
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:Uh huh. All the dark brown kids at my school talk like that.
Chick:Yes, but if a light kid is raised in the same family then they'd talk like that to.
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:{stares at me}
Chick:So, would you want to be friends with that kid? Even if she didn't sound like you?
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:It depends. If she's nice.
Chick:So, you could be friends with a darker kid too, if she's nice
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:yeah....
Chick:Well, o.k.
Soon-to-be-6yr-old:But I still want the light doll.


Conversation #2

Baby Brother: What's the kid want for her birthday?
Chick:A Bratz doll. The Asian one. She likes it because it's "light"
Baby Brother:Yo, That reminds me, I just met this African American Chinese guy!
Chick:He was mixed?
Baby Brother:No he was from China! Grew up there!
Chick:So he's Chinese?
Baby Brother:No, he's a black guy!
Chick:But he grew up in China?
Baby Brother:Yeah.
Chick:So, he's not actually African American, he's Chinese
Baby Brother:{as if to someone who is really just completely missing the point}But he's dark, like me...
Chick: Right, but culturally he's Chinese. He's not African American, he's Chinese!
Baby Brother:.... Let me talk to the kid.

Seriously, is it just me? And I trying to make this much more difficult than it needs to be? I don't think my kid (or my brother for that matter) is racist or anything because we never actually established whether or not being "dark" was bad, just that it's different and that she's more comfortable with sameness, but she's definitely prejudiced in favor of light skin (and long hair -- stay tuned for the gender-stereotype discussion later this week!) and in her world (and unfortunately apparently in my Baby Bro's) if you look a certain way, you are a certain way. period. I dunno. I mean, I get that part of it can be attributed to the "greener" grass theory (Look at all those light wimmin trying to get tan) and that another bit can be assigned to random desire to look a certain way based on what you personally think looks cool (STB6YO also wishes her eyes were more "slantey" and that her hair was pink-violet all over); still another part knows that it is intrinsic to kid/teen-age/early twenties-ness to question and change and experiment and that expecting a healthy and holistic total acceptance of body, mind and spirit may be a bit too much to ask of a soon-to-be-6yr-old but still... Racism is so insidious. I just wonder how much of it is natural processing/pattern-making and how much of it is society telling her what to think? {sigh} Anyway. I'm off to figure out "loot bags" after I put in an order for a "Barbie" cake. My life is the definition of irony right now.