Thursday, February 19, 2004

And the Award goes to....!


That's right folks, the awards season is upon us and in the spirit of this inanity I'd like to take a moment here and there to offer my own props to people who've maybe not accomplished a whole lot, possibly arent' the most well known, hell, who even I can't stand sometimes but who, in thier tiny, some might say mostly insignificant ways have made an impression on me lately. And so, without further ado, here they are!

The award for:

Best thing ever to shout out in a gym at your best friend who's calling you a wuss just because you thought a "push-up" was a tasty ice cream treat:

"Dammit Man, lay off! I can't help it if I fucked your girlfriend last week, but she was all over me from all those drugs you keep lying all over your place!!" -- courtesy of Mr. L-L God-Uncle Extraordinaire and former friend

Fine-est freaking Cat doctor I think I've ever met (and believe you me, I've been a cat owner for awhile now! note: see how graciously I avoided the "pussy" jokes? This is a classy awards show!)

Ms. Noel Grandrath, DVM at VCA Bay Area Animal Hospital we love you, Man! er...ah...woman! Kinda makes you wish you had hypochondriac cats(!!) anyway, moving on...

Best Seduction Line I've heard this week:

"Is DB here? No? Can I stay here tonight then?" [obviously, the offers for quality lovin' are not tumbling in right now....]

Best brush-off by a family member:

Little Brother: Hey, can I call you back?
Big Sis: Sure, when?
Little Brother: Um. Just... you know... whenever.

Best inadvertant yet still fairly crushing insult from really hot co-worker who's standing directly in front of your desk as you sit there trying to work:

"Damn. Not a single person who I want to talk to is at their desk!"

Kay. That's it for now. I'm sure as the day progresses more of this kind of silly crap will make itself known to me and if you're veeerrrrryyyy lucky, maybe, just maybe, I'll put it up here for you to share!

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