Friday, March 12, 2004

Best Friends!


The child was student of the week this week and she got to do her little "How my week was" wrap-up today in class. After she gave the specifics, the various class members got to ask questions and one kid asked "Ummmm, who's your best friend?" and my angel-child said "Um, my moms!" (!!) To which the questioning child quickly replied "You can't have your moms as best friends!" To which my little Star replied "Uh Huh!" (again with the !!!s) and quickly moved on to the next question. How much do we [heart] that kid????????

K. sorry. Just had to gush a little bit. Saw Family Guy today as I was out and about having lunch with the Ladies and now I'm feeling all parental and wanting to talk about my kid and stuff! Whatup FG! Me and you, lunch. Serious child discussing. Possible updated photo viewing. Let's make this happen!

Was talking to Dirty Boy last night (I know, I know, this in getting to be a very bad habit -- it's like talking to him is some sort of gateway drug) -- he offered what is quite possibly one of the most brillant assessments of something I've been known to do, that I think I've heard in a very long time. We were discussing relationships (of all sorts) and I was going on and on about "patterns" and "jelousy/lack thereof" and "closure" and stuff and he came up with this concept of a "release point" that is just brillant. K. I'm probably not explaining it right but basically it's the point at which you just decide, for whatever reason, that you can let go of a particular "frame" and move on. Now it's interesting because it doesn't have to be a concious thing or a bad thing -- it's not the same as "the last straw" -- it's more like a final acceptance that you know something. Like when my kid learned to walk. She spend a long time tottering around with her arms out ready to grab at something in case she fell but then one day she just put her arms down. Like she knew she wasn't gonna fall and even if she did well, so be it.

Well, the reason I think this is so brillant is because I have been hard pressed to explain that thing that happens with me where if I'm in a relationship and it's faltering I will do anything to keep it going up to a point, then I just stop. Now, I can't honestly say that whatever it was I was trying to keep going has suddenly become less valuable -- usually I still care a great deal and it kills me that I'm "giving up"-- but my need to "try", my need to have something be necessary to me, it just disappears. And it's not just relationships. It happens with jobs too. When I left my last job for this new gig i really could care less what happened to my old company and (not that they in ANY way deserved it) I previously felt a significant desire to try to make it work. Then, one day, after a year at SNIFF, I just stopped thinking I could ever make it into something that would work for me. Which doesn't mean I stopped doing my job. I still did the best job I could and probably accomplished more during my last 6 months than ever before but it cannot be denied that it was VERY easy to leave when an opportunity presented itself. DB's theory is that I have a "release point" -- that my brain gets to the point where it's got enough information, tried enough things, put stuff in enough different positions, weighed enough of the options to finally know where it stands and when and if the situation requires action that supports that it makes perfect sense that not only can I completely change direction but that I can do it with some resolve. (Again, I know, I'm taking relationship advice from a five year old degenerate but still, it's a pretty interesting analysis...) It's also interesting that the situations that continue to prove most aggravating to me in terms of "lack of closure" are with people who I just don't think (for whatever reason) I'm "finished" with... Again, sorry, I'm totally rambling (I'm waiting for our test server to realize I put a bunch of files on it. Stupid test server!) but it struck me as kind of smart and applicable last night.....

Ooops! Looks like we're up. [FYI - IS support chick here at the new job ROCKS!!] BFN!!!!!!!

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