pathetic...

God, I'm in a wierd mood. First though, big shout-out / good luck starting the fancy new top level military security job BBQ -- just knowing you're in bed with the big dogs makes me feel that much better about our prospects on a country-wide level!

Now then, week-end was o.k. Got to hang alot with the peeps that matter (with an occassional foray into the world of straight women who care waaaayyyyyy too much about my child's hair) so all good on that front... No, I have to say, what is making me wierd right this second has nothing to do with whom I'm being exposed to it's, quite simply, that my Boo is leaving me in a few days to go to Jamaica for 10 days with CP and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I mean OF COURSE i know what I'm going to do -- I'm going to f***ing soldier on and stop treating this like some kind of cataclysmic event but for just a minute, can everyone please take a quick step with me into the tiny part of my brain that is screaming on a non-stop basis "the single most dear thing to you in your entire world is going to be on a different continent with someone who you've not exactly held in the highest esteem for a few years now, and, that in the event of any sort of even kind-of emergency you [I] am not only not going to be able to do a damn thing -- in fact, the odds are incredibly good that you [I] won't even know anything has happened until 1) they fail to show up at the Oakland airport at 10:33pm on July 23; 2) the ransom note arrives attatched to a blurry video tape and/or the CIA phones and tells me "not to panic." Seriously, I get that I'm overreacting but can I please ask that you all feel me on this??! My baby is leaving the country! God. I'm making light of this but seriously, this is freaking me out. Sigh. Sorry. I'll apologize in advance if I'm irritating my nearest and dearest but I don't think I've ever been so freaked out (in a low-level I know it's really not that big a deal so why am I losing my mind over this) kind of way...