Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Confession time...


So, here's the thing, sometimes I look at my kid and I think "Wow, she's just like me, only better!" And I kind of mean it. She's the ethnic make-up I always wanted to be, she's got the hair I always wanted to have, she's being raised in a cool city, goes to a cool school, is inordinately popular, has "enough" in terms of food, clothes, toys etc., right down to the little sister I never had -- this kid is the living summation of pretty much everything I thought I wanted when i was growing up... which is wierd right? I mean, what the hell? Is this why people have kids? So, they can have little one-offs running around improving on the various areas where they might have liked to have lived life differently? I can't say i was specifically thinking along those lines when we started building her but I do have to say I had a fair amount of choice in setting up my Boo's current situation -- I mean, I did choose her donor/ethnicity, her sibling and her living/school sitch so, it could be said that I have been sort of setting up this up all along. I guess my wondering is whether or not I've been saying I'm just trying to give her the best live ever while what I'm really doing is playing out some sort of unconcious desire to re-write history with a "better" or at least differently situated heroine because i'm curious to see how it (my life done differently) would have turned out. Which seems really wierd to me. I dunno. Maybe it's normal.



In other news, it's that time of month again and I need a boyfriend. Just for a week or so. If anyone knows anyone who's hot/willing, please send them my way. Thanks.

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