I'm going to hell

{phone rings}

Old Friend: Chick?
Chick: Yes?
Old Friend: Hey! It's Old Friend!
Chick: Oh, hey. How's it going?
Old Friend: Good! How're things out there?
Chick: Good.
Old Friend: Cool! Hey I just talked to Dirty Boy and he says you're doing well. He said you're really being great to him!
Chick: Oh... really?
Old Friend: Yeah! He said you're totally taking care of him and making sure he's "hooked up" {laugh} whatever that means...
Chick: Uh, yeah, heh heh...
Old Friend: Yeah, I just wanted to say thanks anyway, I mean, I know he kind of just showed up and {lowers voice} I gotta say, we were a little bit worried when they said they wanted to go out there... {lowers voice further} Did Angel tell you... He thinks he's... gay??
Chick: Oh, um, yeah, he mentioned it. I mean I'm cool with it, you've only got one life to live right?
Old Friend: Yeah, I guess. It just seems a little... I mean, I don't know... he's just, you know....
Chick: Yeah.
Old Friend: Well, {dismissive laugh} maybe he'll meet someone nice out there and it'll all take care of itself. He probably just needed to get away for a little bit. {laugh again} Hey, got any girlfriends you could set him up with?
Chick: Ha! Um, yeah, I mean, not really... I think he's doing just fine on his own. I'll keep an eye out though, heh heh...
Old Friend: Cool. Hey, is DB seeing anybody? I asked him what he was getting into out there but you know how he is...
Chick: Uh, yeah, I sure do... Um, I think he's seeing this one girl...
Old Friend: Really? Is she nice?
Chick: She's cool.
Old Friend: Is she pretty?
Chick: Uh. Yeah, I guess... she has pink hair and lots of holes in her face... [I didn't really say that last bit]
Old Friend: Well, that's good. O.k. I'm going to go. Just wanted to check up on the Baby Brother.
Chick: Well, thanks for calling, maybe we can have lunch or something next time I'm in New Mex.
Old Friend: Yeah, that would be great!
Chick: K.
Old Friend: Hey, Chick...?
Chick: Hmmmm?
Old Friend: {lowers voice} I know I don't need to tell you this but... could you kind of keep an eye on DB? Sort of make sure he's not getting into anything he can't handle?
Chick: Um, sure. I guess... Yeah, no problem
Old Friend: Cool! Thanks, you DO NOT know how glad I am that you were already out there. I mean, it just makes us feel better that he could be out there with someone who's established, you know? Who knows us, who can kind of take care of him...
Chick: ...
Old Friend: Anyway, I'll let you go. Thanks for looking out. I'll see you soon, K?
Chick: K.

aaaaaarrrrrrggggggggg!!!!!!

---

On a completely unrelated note - this morning in the elevator some man asked if my kid went to a Montessori school. I said "nope" to which he replied "Wow, you look exactly like a Montessori parent I used to work with. Hmmmm. I look exactly like a "Montessori parent" on the one hand kind of interesting, on the other, makes me want to go home and change into something with stains in obvious places....