My house is a mess!

K. So, in an attempt to begin moving things into a fit enough state to host the new kid, I have somehow managed to make my house even more inhabitable (if that's possible) than ever before. {Sigh.} I need to just start throwing things into boxes and letting god sort it all out! Speaking of which, how quickly have I moved from "Resigned to just having the one kid for the rest of our collective lives" to being "slightly annoyed that this lady in San Jose still has my baby!" Now don't get me wrong. i am grateful beyond belief that Foster Mom is such a very stellar person and that little Sparkle has had the benefit of being in one (secure, loving, capable) place all of her short, sweet life but still and all, now that I've met her, now that we've all pretty much decided that she's mine -- I'm just kind of not really seeing what the freakin' hold-up is! See, there I go agian. Of course I see what the hold-up is. the hold-up is that this woman has been raising/bonding with this person for a year and I'm waltzing in and carting her away without even an "if you please." How much do I suck?? A few things I'm realizing:

1) It takes a certified saint to be a foster mom. Don't hand me your stories of blah, blah, foster mom who's "only in it for the money" bullsh*t...! Sparkle's FM has been doing this for fourteen years. She's had more than 275 kids pass through her house. She's 56 years old, currently adopting a three-year-old and STILL is having a hard time with the thought of my Sparkle leaving her. A Saint I tell you!

2) How much must it suck to be adopting a baby where you actually know the birthmother. Especially sucky if she's not such a bad person. Like if you're just waiting around for some teenager to pop so you can wisk her kid away to "a better life." Seriously, I'm just starting to realize how very fortunate me and the Boo are to be able say in no uncertain terms (relatively) that this kid we're getting will most likely benefit from knowing us as much as we'll benefit from having her in our lives.

3) Skin color is a pretty significant trump card. Things I'm realizing the more I talk to Foster Mom include the fact that she, herself, was considering adopting my bub (and probably would have gotten her, too) but held off because she had faith that "God was going to be sending the right person!" Well, she was right about that but the interesting thing here is that the short list of her prerequisites vis a vis "right" are... "African-American." That's it. There were "two ladies" that applied that she fancied herself "dismayed" by (assumingly they were lesbos) and although she did say that "she could have accepted their 'lifestyle' if they'd seemed really interested in Sparkle" she later confided that she was "delighted that they dropped out" because they were both {shhhhhh} "white!" Interesting. Not that I'm complaining since sum total, I win but interesting nontheless. Also interesting to see what she makes of the fact that "God" has sent a big ole dyke who was raised by her white mom and who works in the adult SEX industry! :-] Not that she's going to really know about any of that until after all the appropriate paperwork has been signed but one can't help but think that p'raps her God does work in mysterious ways!

Anyway, Boo met Sparkle yesterday and the two of them got along swimmingly. Another thing I forgot in my hyper-focus on "the attendant issues that will no doubt arise" was that Boo is the world's best kid. After we'd hung out for awhile and were on our way back home I mentioned to Boo that I was the world's luckiest mom becuase I had the world's best kid. She (perfection incarnate) replied "Kids. You have the world's best kids."