FYI...

Attention: All Parties who are interested in being featured more prominently on this blog.

The following are the only methods (short of applying a detailed analysis of causality allowing for statistical regression and controlling for both the "X" variable as well as for any randomly generated divergence from the "mean") that have currently proven successful:

1) Have sex with me.

2) Don't have sex with me but somehow get me to think you MIGHT (this is not nearly so difficult as it may sound as my capacity to be deluded in this area is as wide as the summer day is long.

3) Become one of those (rare) individuals who having listened to my nonsense for 10 years or more still invite me to things like lunch and parties.

4) Bypass the "me" factor altogether by ingratiating yourself with my kids. (Note: this one is actually the hardest to pull off since my Angel-babies, while invariably polite are, at the same time, well aware of the fact that you need them FAR more than they will EVER need you. And don't think offering them lots of candy will work either. Believe me, I've tried.)

So, that's it. Unless of course you want to get on here in a "This person annoys the HELL out of me" context. Then all you really need to do is belong to the human race and wait for me to notice you.