Friday, June 04, 2004

In my defense, I would first like to say...


I've been very tired lately and i may have been giddy from the heat. So anyway, I'm down South dropping off Kid 2 with Ex-Foster Mom sos they can hang out and engage in some quality reconnection action and I'm not due to pick up Kid 1 from school for another coupla hours so, says I, "I think I'll stop by Santana Row just to see what a real Mall looks like" when lo and behold whom should I run into in the "Dress for Success" section of Macy's but my old friend D. whom I have not seen since our days of slinging donuts at the afterhours crowd over on Third and King! "Well!" saith she, all smiles and huggy arm squeezes "Long time no see! How's Alaska Boy?" "Good" says I. "I think. I haven't actually seen him in awhile." I notice that while we're chatting we're also walking. "uh, huh." she nods glancing at a rack of longish dresses and selecting one to add to the assortment currently draped over her arm. "Wedding." she explains. "Ex." she continues. "I have to look hot!" she winks. "Come help me pick." She clasps my arm and drags me into the dressing room. K. Now. Let me just say, I did not IN ANY WAY indicate that I had any interest in becoming part of this little excursion. Nor did I in ANY way expect that a casual conversation would end with me staring at an half-dressed (remarkably well-preserved) female as she adjusted her cleavage and demanded to know whether or not she looked "hot??" I would also like to add that were my Pretend Girlfriend to just freakin' start liking me back already I may not have felt the need to just go along with the first big-haired lass who happened to invite me into her dressing-room and the following conversation might have been prevented. Eh hem. Anyway. I replied that "yes." she did in fact look "hot." To which she replied (in quite the flirtatious manner -- demure smile, eyelashing batting, the whole nine yards) "Really?"
Me: Yup
Her: {giggle} Cool. Hey. [turns back to me so I can unzip aformentioned "hot" dress] What happened with you and Alaska Boy? I thought you guys were gonna get married.
Me: Uh. heh. No. [concentrating on zipper]
Her: [with smile over shoulder] Find someone better?
Me: Uh. Hah ha, uh... yeah. Um... kind of. Yeah. [concentrating on really very nice carpet pattern as she turns to face me holding dress up with one hand]
Her: You have a kid though right?
Me: Yeah. Two now actually.
Her: Wow! That's great! he must be great!
Me: Who?
Her: Your husband...?
Me: Uh...
Her: Oh [hand flies to mouth, dress begins to slip] Sorry. I just assumed [sheepish smile]
Me: Yeah. Actually, I'm co-parenting one with an Ex of mine and I'm single parent adopting the other.
Her: [Nodding. dress still slipping] mmmmmmm
Me: I'm Gay. [I DO NOT know where that came from. "I'm Gay." That's just... so.. GAY!] I mean... I... my Ex... Boo, my kid has two moms and the other one... the one we just got... she only has one. I mean... me... [needing to die]
Her: Oh. [Continues to stare at me as dress pretty much becomes useless in terms of any sort of actual coverage.] Oh. [sort of shrug, shake thing then she notices that she's standing there in the ole bra and panty set --A Set. Soooo San Jose Straight Girl! -- and begins to get dressed] So... um... well, I mean that's cool.
Me: um hm. [not sure where to look. inching toward door]
Her: [Picking up "hot" dress and Gawd help me, winking again! with smile] So I guess you're qualified to judge...!

!!

So, there you have it. She says I should call her "next time I'm in town." Uh. Yeah.



In other news, my Boo about town had Pajama Day at school today which meant she got to wear her jammies all day long and can i JUST say she was/is A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!!!! After school we went to meet up with a friend of hers whom she had made dinner plans with and along the way we collected another pal of hers who happened to see us walking by and demanded to be allowed to accompany us. Tell me again when my child became a grown-up??

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