Make me melt...

You know how you make me melt? You call me out of basically nowhere and begin your message by saying "Hey Pretty..." !! {swoon} K. So. Anyway.

I'll make this brief since I have FIFTY-BILLION things to do and every single person in the world (here at work anyway) wants something from me -- plus, my Lovely Assistant is STILL leaving (WTF??!) and although we've brought in the COOLEST replacement chick, ever... still... {sniff} I'll just miss her is all. (LA not CRCE. Although, if CRCE were to leave I'd probably miss her too. Anyway, what was that I was saying about "brief"...?)

Kid update - Spark had an asthma attack on Sat. which was insanely scary because she's tiny and shouldn't be having trouble breathing dammit! But, in the grand scheme of things, I think it's good a full blown/trip-to-the-emergency-room inducing event finally happened because she's been snuffly and unhappy and not sleeping for the last three weeks and her freaking regular doctor kept saying she was just catching "concurrent colds", meanwhile, my poor baby could have been starting her "puff" treatment and we would have been good (in the sense that she could breathe easier. I'm not just a little freaked out by the idea that my 15 month old is getting steroids but I'm looking into "alternative/holistic" treatments as we speak...)

That said, Boo was great at the ER -- very patient and self-contained. She kept making sojournes into the ER ward at large and coming back with all sorts of interesting reports. The nursing staff fell in love with her. In fact one of the Dr.s {hearted} her so very much she brought her a Polly Pocket doll with some clothes to play with! Speaking of Boo, I eventually sent her off to CP's to spend the evening and since we had a shorter time together than usual we were both very "I miss you!!" last night culminating in me getting to go have lunch with her at her school today! Yay!

Let's see.... What else...? I got to see OGE drum with her drum group (awesome!) on Sundee and I got to go see Sky Captain et alwith the ever fabulous Travelin' Man on Sat. eve (which was soooo unbelievably necessary by the time the ER ordeal was got through!) and I got to check in with my lovely Miss Tail re: the really super great things going on in her life so, I'm feeling still very busy but at least a little more caught up with my real life. Kind of. If I don't talk to BBQ and Ms. Bee soon I am going to explode! But anyway... strides are being made in those directions so I have a feeling all will be good there as well.... K. That's it. Even if there was more I'd still need to be going to get some work done so, I'm out mon peeps. More later....

O.K. so one of the main reasons I really don't like CP sometimes is because she does this THING where she gets me all excited because she makes plans to hang with the Boo (plans in which she actually schedules time for the two of them to hang out and sets up realistic schedules that she actually runs by me and that I, in turn, MAKE PLANS around) then she freakin flakes! Gawd! And it's not just the flaking that kills me -- it's the WAY she flakes. It's the freaking assumption that I have nothing better to do than wrap my life around whatever whims she might have as far as seeing her kid go! Arrrrrgggggg! THEN it's even made worse by the fact that it's not like I don't WANT the Boo and wouldn't LOVE spending time all the time in the world with her; I DO want her and I would rather have her all the time but this is soooo not about that and I don't know how to have a conversation around this that doesn't eventually involve hearing CP utter some phrase that sounds extremely close to: "Well, if you don't want her with you..." or "If you can't have her for whatever reason..." Which is NOT the case and completely misrepresenting the situation and which wouldn't even be an issue if I hadn't re-arranged my life in the first stupid place to accomodate what I continue to consider fairly important "bonding" time with the other parent! {snort} I need to take a walk now.

Witness the following telephone conversation...

Me: What're you doing?
Boo: Playing piano.
Me: Really! Where'd you get a piano?
Boo: Well, it's not really a piano. It's a BabyBug actually. and it's got pictures of a cat and dog, cat, dog, cat, dog, cat, dog, and music notes so you know they're singing so I have it open and I'm using it for a piano.
Me: ah....

And tell me HOW it is that I ended up with THE world's most adorable seven year old????

My hair is very short right now! I love the lady who cuts my hair. She's from Korea and is always chatting about her daughters and how smart they are and her husband who "is like a woman!" (which apparently is the opposite from how she "likes it") and how much she loves my "curly hair but not big!" Every time I go in there she starts with just a regular trim type of cut then when I ask for the clippers her eyes light up and she grins "Like a boy?" She asks. I nod and she goes to town. i think she was bored today though cause she made it REALLY short. Just kept clipping and snipping. She gave me a bag of popcorn to take with me too. My hairdresser is the best!

I'm sick today

What makes this different from any other day is that I'm actually staying home. I know! I'm shocked as well! I figure what with my LA leaving and certain folks around the office penciling me into their incredibly labor intensive long-term plans I should seize the opportunity to just stay in my bed once in a freaking while. Quick shout out to IHOEL who is also staying home sick and if she is not she SHOULD be...! I can only assume that with both of us out the work world as we know it will cease entirely to function but, c'est la vie, such are the chances one takes in this game we call life. K. So. Plans for today include: writing two papers (one of which is due tonight), getting a freaking haircut already, pushing my laundry around so it stops looking so "all over the place", vacuuming and figuring out how to get a 25.00 check to my kid's school -- which is all the way over on the other side of the bridge -- before her new Drama Club starts tomorrow... Ha! I remember the days when I used to be "sick" and I actually stayed in bed, drank tea and whined alot. So, cute!

It has been brought to my attention that I was horribly remiss in leaving some peeps out of the "can't live without" category of today's earlier posting and I would first like to apologize unreservedly -- my omission was not meant as a slight vis a vis the idea that I can in fact live without the missing people but more of a reticence to ascribe the "liking me very much" part to folks who honestly may not hold me in as high an esteem as I seem to think they do. (Interestingly enough, most of the people I left off the list were girls and that was mostly because I have NO trouble deciding whether or not boys can live without me, it's the chicks that are all obtuse en sheet...) Having said that then I would like to ammend the category to read "People who I think like me very much and whom i cannot live without" and include therein:

The entire B family
The Lovely and effervescent Miss Tail
Other Girl (and her dad)
My mom
and a whole host of work peeps who are jsut really nothing short of fabulous (you know who you are!)

Kisses to all and thanks for keeping me sane.

Coming up for air

{Gasp!} Going back down...

K. So I have been in meetings all day for the last coupla days and I'm going into all day trainings for the next few. Sigh. I'm tired.

People who love me:

My kids
My Prof. K
My brothers
My BBQ
My soon-to-be ex assistant

People who don't love me yet but who will (dammit):

Green eyes
My new assistant (whomever that person might be)
Cute chick in my Wed. eve class

People who like me a whole lot and who I could not live without:

Mistah Lovah-Lovah
Travelin Man
Pretty Boy
Dirty Boy
Angel

Notice how all the people I want to love me are female whereas the ones who already think I'm swell are of the boy variety? Indicative of an issue I may be having with my life? Possibly. Something I have the time/energy to do anything about? Nah.

Let's pretend it's Friday -- Happy Birthday Ms. Bee!!!!!!! Yer the best

K. Now pretend it's Saturday.

Happy Birthday my beautiful, little (big - HUGE) Boo!!!!

Right. So, I'm basically in the middle of the most stressful time of my life ever! yet -- but -- I still had a great week-end! Mostly. Witness the following conversation with random friend and his chick whom I ran into in the grocery store:

"Friend": Hey.
Me: Hey.
"Friend": Whattaya doing here?
Me: Buying food.
"Friend": Baby food?
Me: Um hm.
"Friend": Looks gross.
Me: Yup.
"Friend": Where's the kid?
Me: Which one?
"Friend": [blank stare]
Me: Which one??
"Friend": Uh, the one that had her birthday...?
Me: She's at her CP's. With the Baby.
"Friend": [blank stare]
Me: Her sister. The baby we've had living with us for the last four months.
"Friend": Oh.
Me: ...

Me: You're a dick.
"Friend": Yeah.

Seriously. Why do I even bother? Luckily, this interaction was entirely offset by the FABULOUS ultra-sweet-wonderfulness of the L-L's who have once again stepped in to do some quality baby watching whilst the older kid and I went off to the movies to get our "quality-time" ON! Thank you again, you two. You rock and you can not even begin to understand how much I appreciate having people who will not physically or mentally damage my kid (well, mostly) that I can call on in a pinch. (I know you're really just marking time til you're going to need round-the-clock Boo as babysitter skills but, seriously, if you need anything from me before then, do not hesitate to ask! :-] )

Re: work.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

---

In other news, I posted to Craig's list offering to exchange a kitten for a car and I've gotten three responses so far... hmmmmmmm.

So, the peeps who live in front of me discovered that whilst they were asleep the other eve someone (or ones) shot thier truck! I know! Pretty disturbing. I went out to look and saw this neat little hole in the passenger side door. I have determined that, if nothing else, an event of this magnitude warrants an official name change. From now on, the ladies in question will be known as LOG (Lil Ole Gansta) and TOG (Tall OG) and whenever I need to reference them collectively I will simply call them "The Gs in Front"...!

---

The Boo said the sweetest thing the other day. We were at the super stellar Birthday Party of the young Debbie Harry (fabulous daughter of a workpeep of mine) and she said to Spark who had misplaced me and was feeling sad about it -- "Don't worry, Spark. Your mommie's over there...[pointing at me]" Your Mommy is over there!(!!) I just about melted into THE biggest puddle of goo the free world has ever seen! {sigh} I love my kids. i am most blessed.

Ah, Fall....

Have I mentioned yet how very much I lurv the Fall? I {heart} Autumn!! The air is crisp, the light is freaking awesome, we finally get to switch back to real time and some of my very favorite people ever chose to be born during this wondrous season. Interesting that they all chose the same three days... but whattaya gonna do. I just need to remember to stop by Costco so I can stock up on some bulk gifts and we'll all be good!

k. so. I'm sitting in class last night staring at my bag of M&Ms and having the following deep thoughts: "'Ingredients. Skim milk and milkfat'...?? Why'd they bother separating the two if they're just going to throw them back in together?" Yes folks. This is what I do on Wed. nights. Who says Grad school is wasted on the young! Sigh. I'm sorry but this professor is just not turning out to be the intellectual giant I was hoping for. Or maybe she is. I still haven't read any of the stuff she's published although I gather she's quite prolithic in "certain circles." Whatever. It is my humble opinion that while this lady couldn't teach her way out of a paper bag, she still has a certain insight into the whole academic publishing industry that might prove useful... Now if I can only figure out a way to freaking stay awake...

Heaven help me

I'm about to spend 120.00 on Bratz dolls! I have to, you understand?!! Boo wants a Tokoyo Bratz for her B-day and I was looking at the Tokyo line and I happened upon this wondrous creature and well... it's a sickness. Still though, look at this perfect little person and tell me who among you can honestly cast the first stone??!

And so the pendulum swings...

Back to loving my adorable baby very much. I swear, when she's not hollering, she's really quite fun.

My work life is crap right now.

It just is. Well. I guess it's not if we consider the grand scheme of things. In the grand scheme of things I guess I'm pretty well off. Anyway. this is the person to whom I entrust my progeny. It all seems wrong somehow yet still so very right...! K. I'm out. Collective finger cross, people that I survive the next week and a half.

I just sat in traffic for an hour and a half. No accidents, no stalls, just a whole bunch of cars not moving. Someone really needs to take a long hard look at where we, as a society, have managed to get ourselves...

Technically,I'm working...

But I'm also waiting for thousands of magazine articles to transfer their about to be re-designed selves to my harddrive so I figured, heck, might as well post!

Week-end was fine. The children and I attended the B-Day bash of a certain Miss Lucky Lu which was not only great in that we got to celebrate the having-been-hatched day of the coolest three-year-old around but also we got to see people we haven't collectively seen in pretty much forever so it was all good. Had to leave early though to get the Boo to her Acrobatic class -- then spent the remainder of the day just pretty much tramping around.

Then, on Sunday I worked. "But," I hear you asking somewhat incredulously, "what on earth did you do with the babies??!" Well, as a matter of fact, I left them with the fabulous, the wonderful, the really-couldn't-imagine-what-I-would-do-without-those crazy Canadians -- Mistah Lovah-Lovah!! [round of applause, people! Let's hear it for the L-Ls! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You guys rock!!!!!]

Oh! And, can I just say, my baby (who when we're not being cranky with each other, really is quite the delightful little tyke!) is soooooo going to be a kick-ass drummer when she grows up...! She was in her little play area last night tapping out this beat using both her hands and the door of her plastic refrigerator and I swear to you I thought it was someone outside the house playing music! Until I stuck my head into her room and she stopped and grinned at me. Seriously. That kid is a drumming-savant.

Seriously, is it possible for me to have anything else that has to be done????

K. Breathe. Stress, stress, stress. My life is a ball of stress right this second. Nice though that Mistah L-L is going to watch my babies for a bit on Sundee so that I can come in to work and further test the website. Also, nice that one of the Sweeties here at work invited a group of us to a very cool music-in-the-Park kind of event that happened today during lunch and which was not just great but also involved sitting around in the sun talking to Green Eyes so you KNOW I was feeling no pain.... K. {sigh} back to building pages...

Is it wrong to be smug?

K. So tonight was Boo's Back-to-school night and all the regular suspects were there. Can I just say on the one hand I am delighted by the continuity on the other, seeing the same kids every year just really serves to point out how incredibly OLD I am. Seriously, some of those knee-biters are practically taller than me at this point. They're having relationships fer chrissakes! Which brings us to my initial point of "sure-I'm-going-to-hell" boasting: namely number of parental types who sought me out tonight to inform me that their child (usually of the boy variety) has a crush on Boo/says Boo is his girlfriend/really loves my child! = 4 sets! Of course, I know this. Of course, when one is parenting a Boo one must expect these parents to seek to secure their child's future happiness by somehow maneuvering them to the front of the "must-have-a-Boo-in-my-life" pack by mentioning (in a laughing way, always with a smile...) that their son says that "Boo and he are boyfriend and girlfriend!" and then (surprise!) the, "Ha! Kids. What will they think of next! [chuckle] so... has Boo ever said anything...??????" Get in line folks. All I can say is that of course, it's her decision who she likes but I would suggest you have your references handy! Besides which, Boo already loves Becky and Antonia [note: none of the children's names used in this post are real and even if they are -- so! What're you gonna do about it??] and so there's really only the couple of spaces left in her entourage. Boys who are fighting for prime positioning would include:

Caio - Surfer dude, super jock kid who's pretty much always in charge of whatever game is being played. This may be because he knows all the rules really well or it may be because he somehow always owns the ball.

Eli - Loner type whose parents are misplaced New Yorkers. Young E. has decided that he doesn't like girls but he does likes Boo. Two major points in his favor would be that 1) he's got one of the coolest moms I've ever met -- cool in a very New York kind of "big emotions!" way and 2) he has not washed his hair since school started three weeks ago.

Sammy - Young rock star type. Seriously sweet. Across the board beautiful (like in a Boy Bratz, clear green eyes, dirty blond hair and long curling eyelashes kind of way) a bit "slow" for Boo's tastes but good to have on board if you're looking for someone who could really care less that "dinosaurs aren't cool anymore!"

D'Andre - Very cool kid with very cool parents. Kind of like a young polititian without the smarm, just generally set.

Boo, of course, has gone on record noting that she has a "crush" on some kid named Jake whom I haven't really gotten to know all that well but whose Dad seems nice enough in a big friendly bear kind of way. And she doesn't even really play with Jake. She plays with Sammy although sometimes I think it's because he's part of a package deal that includes Becky. It's all so confusing... Plus, have I mentioned that they're only in the second grade?????? Anyway. I'm probably just as bad as the rest of the parental types but it is weirdly gratifying to have my kid be the one the parents want their kids to play with. Again, I take no credit for any of it. I'm just pointing it out...

Now then...

Took Spark to the Dr. today to see why she was screaming all the time/vomiting/patting her ears/running a slight fever and.... as you probably already suspected....

She is fine. Not a damn thing wrong with her that isn't about being 15 months old and having a slight cold. Huh. I swear. I had really forgotten that the definition of "normal" gets very elastic where babies are involved. So. This week-end I had the super-horrific epiphany that I am very capable of getting very mad and that I don't know how to handle it. I mean I know all the book stuff like leave the room, yell into a pillow, slam a door etc. but what I don't know is how to not have this look to Boo who notices everything like I hate her sister/how to not anticipate on-going anger after we've moved on from the specific situation and things seem to be going smoothly. Meaning (as anyone who know me very well knows) that I am someone who, if I can't fix it, would prefer to find a way to not have to continue dealing with it -- but how does one deal with something that makes you mad (ear splitting screams and flinging oneself backwards when one is informed that one cannot cross the street by one's newly walking self) knowing full well that after a resolution has been reached (child is distracted by shiny button thing on sweater) the exact same thing will occur once a similar stimulus is encountered. I mean, I can't not cross streets. I found myself saying this week-end "I'm not going to let you walk if you're not going to listen!" and I actually sounded like I meant it. Which means...? I carry Spark until she's 36 and/or interested in listening to her mother?? What I'm saying is I'm finding myself in positions that are frankly untenable and I don't know any way out of them. That having been said, however, being forced to spend the day with the baby today was actually a very good thing because it allowed me to interact with her in a space where we got along and she was remarkably "good" -- despite those heathens once again draining all the blood from her tiny body (what is it with the health-care profession that they see a baby and they immediately think "bloodwork!"??) and wherein while I had/have a ton of stuff to do I still got to just see her and her cool amazingness and to remember that I didn't get her just for the tax write-off; that I actually wanted/want another kid. I want her. I want to experience raising another individual. i want to see what she going to add to my life. She's mine and I need to treat her like I want and appreciate her. Much like the Boo, Spark didn't ask to be with me -- I went after her. Sigh. Doesn't help with the mad thing but probably worth remembering.

Lastly, school. Just got back from class. We're studying leadership models and my brillant professor is playing a game she calls "What does this have to do with leadership?" wherein she shows us a clip from an old TV show or a documentary or something and we have to figure out what leadership qualities are embodied within it. Tonight she played us Kenny Roger's "The Gambler." I won't go into what all was said about that particular choice of music but I do want to put it out there that I heart her and her "methods" and I sincerely hope I am 1/10th as brillant when I finally come through this program (assuming I get out alive...)

Bah! I'm tired. Nitey-night folks. Hope tomorrow's a good day for everyone.

That's the other thing...!

I just discovered that the pants I'm wearing today have a snazzy little zippered pocket on the side which my friend who knows about this sort of thing assures me is for your "stash." Sigh. I think that makes me too old for my pants...