Me and my babies!

At Pride -- Holla back!

Good luck!

Just a quick shout out to the fabulous IHOEL, hope your "event" this afternoon goes swimmingly and you get every single little thing you ask for!

In other news, check out my article...

Coupla things...

First and most important being HAPPY B-DAY, BBQ! I ::heart:: you more than almost any other living adult and I am THRILLED that you not only exist but that you continue to find value (albeit generally of the "entertainment" sort) in my humble company. I just got off the phone with the "image" guy for Sephora BTW (aka Angel) and he says we need to either go with Cargo cosmetics line or "whatever that new line is they have at Walgreens!" Nice. Anyway... I ran into my always impeccably turned out ex-co-worker today in the lunch line and he (looking as impeccably turned out as ever) enlightened me as to two important facts. The first being that Ernest Boy ex-coworker and his loverly illegal immigrant wife have just had a beautiful bouncy baby! (Whoo Hoo! Couldn't have happened to nicer folks!) and that he himself is due to be wed/shackled/whatever the heck it is when you basically sign yourself into some sort of bizarre shared indentured servitude in just a few days! Double yay! Again, really couldn't happen to a more impeccably turned out individual! All the best wishes and mazel tov to you and yours!

K. So, now that that's out of the way, did I tell everyone that I very nearly got a time-out the other day for showing up late for a Boo performance (one in which she performed heart-stopping feats of acrobatic skill on a contruction of ropes and pvc piping known simply as "the birdcage"!) barely catching her "group act" and missing her solo entirely? She was mad. Now, I've never really had the Boo mad at me beforeand I have to say, it's not something I would wish on mine worst enemy. kinda sucks truth be told. Anyway, during my groveling I inquired (somewhat jocularly) if I "was in trouble" and needed a time-out to which she snapped "Yes!" and returned to her arms-crossed-staring-silently-out-the-window stance which very near killed me. We made it all up later when we got home (and I ahd access to cookies with which to bribe her) but I tell ya, it was hairy for a minute!

Wow.

So, just got back from Bourbon street where I got a big guy to pay for strippers/lapdances for me all night long and I just have to say... First club, met cute girl in the bathroom. Blonde. not really my type but into girls so that was nice. but moved onto second club where Stripes was dancing and OH. My. God. So cute. brown hair up, adorable natural body, whispers in my ear "we have to go do this birthday guy but stick around..." lap dance plus up on stage plus friend who says "Are you the dildo girl?" mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Loving her a LOT. K. sorry. more than a little drunk. mmmmmmmmm. strippers. Seriously, are there any better people in the world????

Things that make you go "Hmmmmm....."

Aresenio?? Anyone???

K. So, a coupla things I've noticed about the Crescent City:

1) N'awlins girls can wear the HELL out of some shoes! Damn. And the skirt/shoe/bra-with-the-good-uplift combos they've got going on out here... well, let's just say, it makes me wish I was a dyke so I could properly appreciate... oh, wait...

2) White people out here are WHITE. Like I get that we're technically in the south and I'm not saying that there's anything WRONG with being WHITE it's just interesting how there aren't any other flavors of peach. Fer instance, not alot of Italian/Irish mixes walking around helpfully giving out directions if you know what I mean...

3) Straight girls are easy. I know, this is not N'awlins specific but still, it's where I happen to be and it's where my new "friend" happens to be so that's really all I have to work with right now. (Speaking of which, how much to hell am I going that I JUST spent a full 15 minutes flirting with another straight girl presenter right in front of M's sad, confused, little nose!!! Very is how much!)

K. conference done for the day. Now I work on work stuff then it's off to the French quarter to have a drink and to listen to what my little buddy's boyfriend did to piss her off (this time.) :-]

ah.

I'm sitting here in the world's most comfortable white cotton robe, at a cute little round table sipping my complimentary morning tea and staring out the window at a beautiful old ivy-covered brick building. Life, she ees gud...!

Now then. Where was I?

1) Last week was crazy. Spent the week-end at Lake Powell with my family (including my brother's adorable sons and newly HUGE -- like a foot taller than me -- / beautiful "grown-up" daughter). The Lake was beautiful. The desert was amazing. I got to talk to my Dad quite a bit. He's a keeper that one. His current set-up though is SICK. He's living in an upscale "trailer park" (100,000 just to get a freaking lot) with a bunch of really rich people. In addition to the outdoor patio and 18 foot "shade" system, he's got a outdoor pueblo style oven, an "Arizona room" (basically a studio that doesn't have plumbing -- although some of the "arizona rooms" I saw were comparable to really nice multi-bedroom homes) the 'Vette, a golf cart and of course, The Lincoln Towncar. Oh yeah, and the boat. The complex has a "town Center" where there's a restaurant, a post office and about a million classes (things like jewelry making, ceramics and stained glass design) are offered for free. there are also four really nice pools. You're not allowed to own property there unless you're over the age of 55 so my pops is one of the youngest. He's living large out there with a bunch of insanely "comfortable" 70 year olds. May I just remind everyone that my pops is technically "poor." I just don't get it.

Anyway, trip was great. Kind of whirlwind but well-overdue. I LOVE my family and they make me so proud and happy and calm and I love that my daughters get to see their extended support system. Unexpectedly (but making a great deal of sense now that I think about it) my youngest fell in love with her super high energy cousin, J. He's the kind of kid who'll pick up a stick and start hitting a stump and twenty minutes later when you check back, he's still wacking away at the stump. Well, my kid was standing right there watching him wack. Very cute.

Back to work for the week which is slightly more bearable because we've managed to assemble a support team of consultants who don't completely suck/are not shady beyond belief so I'm confident in our ability to get at least one of our major projects done.

Pride on Sunday -- the babies and I marched with little Stevie (I do have to put it out there that my kid was looking pretty damn adorable in her knotted up "Play Safe" GV shirt) and the rest of the GV work contingent, then off to San Joser to drop off Spark with her G-ma and myself off at the airport so I could fly away to paradise and end up in this really comfy robe...!

Whew! that was alot!

K. I'm out to my conf. more later. (More which may or may not involve an update re: which traveling correspondent got snuggled by a cute "straight" girl she met at the conference last night!!)

Just real quick, mon...

I'm in NEW ORLEANS. I. am. in. New Orleans. In a really nice hotel room. (with complimentary shoe polish and oatmeal soap.) I think I've gone to heaven... K. I'm out to an con-feer-rance -- seriously, is the fact that all the names here are some tangled version of french spoken with a creole accent TO DIE FOR, or what??! :-)

The full update, tonight at 10:00 (ish)

I hate my job. I love my team though... :-]

I think I need an intervention...

Consider the following conversation:

Me: [Yawn] Hey.
Him: Hey.
Me: What can I do fer you, Mister?
Him: [Handing over folded piece of paper]
Me: [after reading] You got in! [to SFSU] Cool!
Him: [nod]
Me: Did you tell your mom?
Him: Yeah.
Me: Whad she say?
Him: She said it was cool.
Me: Cool. [pause] So... was there a reason you needed me to see this at 1-f**k-ing o'clock in the goddamn Mbbbph! [That's right folks, yet another brilliantly scathing comment cut short by the introduction of a second party tongue into my mouth]

Sigh. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????? I am so glad I'm outtie for awhile.

TMI...

I'm tired. ;-]

On a lighter note...

I just put together a "Cheer the f*** up!" Playlist which includes "Wish I didn't know" by Toby Keith, "All I want for Christmas is a real good tan" by the inestimable Mr. Kenny Chesney "We Really Shouldn't Be Doing This" by George -- Country GOD -- Strait and "Why'd You Come in Here Lookin' Like that" by the one, the only, Miss D. Parton! (What is it about physical/emotional exhaustion that makes a gal head straight for the New Country Stations??) Somebody stop me before I throw in some Blake!!!! Damn, that boy's easy on the eyes...

GOD!!!

Yesterday SUCKED! Maybe today will be better. :-]

LaLaLa...

Still pretending work doesn't exist... Lalalala.

So, we're going to Lake Powell on Thursdee to meet up the rest of the Magnet-brigade for a week-end of fun in the sun (I know, I know, this sort of behavior runs straight in the face of everything we've learned so far about National Security but, you know what?? I needs to see the peeps and if that means they're gonna have to step up the patrols around the AZ/Utah border then so be it!) which means that before I actually get to see any of them I have to run this Joycean (what are we thinking of all the literary references, BTW?) gamut (Think Sound and the Fury) of telephone conversations wherein each and every one of my family members pronounces with dead certainty their belief in a highly effective, completely bought-into, all-bases-covered plan which inevitably noone else has ever heard of. This is hilarious as it happens every year and yet and still we all still manage to end up in the same place fed, clothed and housed (usually on a really nice boat) and having a really very nice time. Suffice to say at the end of the evening last night, the seven year old who was privy to my side of each of the sixty million conversations remarked "Your family should learn to relaaaaxxxxx." She accompanied this remark with a sort of zen arm gesture which made me snort and fall over laughing so I wasn't able to immediately point out that they are, in fact hers too. Ah well. She'll discover the disquieting truth soon enough...

for the purposes of this post...

I am pretending to be unemployed. Now then...

Congratulations to BBQ on her fancy new job offer! I've always wanted a best friend who had top-secret government clearance so I'm glad the moment has finally arrived -- Sephora here we come!

Nextly, I'm so hugely sorry and I hope you feel better to the Baby Bees who are under the weather right this moment. It sucks being little and being sick and I wish you renewed health as soon as such a thing is possible. Best wishes and hugs also to their sleepy-stir-crazy moms who are valiantly supporting their infirmity. If there is a single thing I can do please do not hesitate to let me know.

In other news, I'm looking to buy a car. This is funny to those of you who know me and speaks in a very stereotypical way to my roots growing up in New Mex. where if you didn't have at least five cars on your front lawn you weren't really serious about driving! So, I need a vehicle with more than three seatbelts, a working set of windshield wipers and the ability to get slightly more than 1.5 miles to the gallon -- while at the same time giving up my truck WOULD KILL ME so, here I am, with one car not quite sold/doanted/left to be towed by the city, already looking for another. I'm thinking my new nickname should just be "three-car-family". We can leave it at that. :-]

My seven year old has donned a diaper in a moment of sister-solidarity, my two year old knows how to count to ten, how to say the alphabet and how to make jokey-jokes in Spanish:

me: [holding up a red shoe] What color is this?
her: Azul!
me: Are you sure?
her: [giggling] Azul! Ha-ha! Rojo...
me: Red?
her: [nodding] Rojo!
me: [holding up the other shoe] then which color is this?
her: [big laugh] Azul!!

I have a cup of coffee next to me. A cat on my lap and nothing to do today that doesn't involve hanging with my babies. Life, she ees gud!

BUSTED!

Ha! I just almost got SOOOOO busted a minute ago. See here's the thing, back when NYG and I were "seeing" each other, we had kind of agreed we weren't going to tell the respective kiddos (for a whole variety of reasons I won't EVEN go into here) so we didn't. Right. We stop "seeing" each other and it becomes a "non-issue". Then through a whole convoluted Brechtian turn of events, it so happens that entirely outside of our involvement and subsequent lack thereof, our kids decide that they like each other a great deal and as one of them has a mom who needs to be out on the town tonight with her new Sweetie and the other has a parent who is all about the sleepovers ... well, let's just say I've ended up with little Stevie Nicks here with me and the Boo tonight. SO. They're all tucked in, ready for books and bed and lo and behold, they discover, under the couch a business card with Stevie's daddy's info on it! (god only knows how it could have gotten there. eh hem...) Weird right? Even weirder given that we (me and Stevie's Daddy) aren't really supposed to know each other -- save the one or two times he's accompanied Miss Nicks to various group events. I'm sure everyone will be delighted to know that when presented with this evidence of his independent existence in my living room (on my couch) I quickly offered that it must have "dropped out" of his pocket the time he was here with Stevie for Spark's birthday! Yeah. Because cards do that, right?? Fall out of people's pockets when they stop by... eh, hem. Anyway.

---

Thanks BTW for those of you who called to offer your support vis a vis my total inability to deal with my life a few days ago. I was just kind of overwhelmed by the sheer amounts of STUFF I was suddenly having to do (work = learn someone else's job/fix about a billion really bad things that were/are about to explode in our faces and that inexplicably nothing has been done about; school = going into week 3 of 6 with two more papers due, plus four chapters of reading in a book that I got the wrong edition of - we're talking entire legal cases missing because they hadn't actually occured yet; home = sty. Pure and simple. Too much crap. Too little space.) Plus which, I got lectured to about how my optimistic little views would change once I'd "matured" a little and experienced a bit more life from a woman who turned out to be a year younger than me! She thought I was 23. Nice. Kind of threw what was left of my identity into a tailspin.

All of that notwithstanding though, I just spent the entire day with my kid out on Angel Island so I'm back, I'm good and I think I may even be able to deal. (possibly. I wouldn't go placing any bets in Vegas just yet...)

What fresh hell is this?

Jeesus, God, what have I done...???????!

work + school + never seeing my kids is kicking my a**!

I miss liking my life. I miss BBQ and IHOEL and the rest of the Bees. I want to become a person of leisure (not unlike newly freed, soon-to-be-Slacker Extraordinaire, Mistah Lovah-Lovah) I want to be able to take a day off from work without having to anticipate fifteen tons of sh** being systematically created by the Sup-turned-Sub from Hell Miss J-lo from the Block that I will have to unravel, "follow up on" and otherwise figure out how to fix the second I get back. Sigh. At least there's a light at the end of THAT particular tunnel...

Ah well. Long week-end ahead. Lots of kid time. I'm going to just think about that and act like Tuesday isn't ever going to come.

Can an 8-year-old be a bitch...??!

Consider the following conversation which took place today in my child's second grade class:

Boy Student: [finishing up his report on Gekkos] Any questions or comments?
Supposed "best friend" of Boo: [Raises hand] ...
Teacher: Yes, SBFOB? Go ahead...
SBFOB: Um, [giggles] well, this isn't really about BS's report or about gekkos but... I just saw a lice bug in Boo's hair.*
[Class erupts in squeals, laughter, chagrin etc.]
Teacher: Alright, SBFOB. That cetainly doesn't have anything to do with Gekkos. Now does anyone have any comments about gekkos? [Boo sits still feeling small, embarrassed and confused. I know this because she told me that's how she felt as we were driving home.]

*ed. note - this from a child who actually did have a pretty serious case of lice herself and surely knows how it feels to be teased PLUS who staunchly declares herself Boo's "closest friend ever!" Sad, but I still have to kill her...

In other news, finally feeling a little more on top of the life, school and work. I'm not going to say it out loud or anything because it might all crumble into nothingness but right this second, I'm doing well.

Conversations with a two-year-old

Two-Year-Old: [holding out a Sesame Street "Do the Alphabet" video] ABC?
Me: No. We're going to school now. No. ABCs...
Two-Year-Old: EFG?
Me: Ha! No. Good try, though. By the way, you missed a letter.
Two-Year-Old: D!
Me: [in shock] Wow.


Two-Year-Old: 1-2-3
Me: 4
Two-Year-Old: 5
Me: 6
Two-Year-Old: 7-8-9-10! Yay! Gud Dob! [claps]
Me: yay! [claps. then, realizing her baby girl knows how to count to ten] Whoa! Good Job!

Yup. Smartest TYO in the world. Get in early with your applications to associate yourself with the brillance that is my little girl! Line forms to the left people, no pushing...

Jesus gawd. I don't know if I can get MORE over a place than I am right now. And the sick thing is, things are finally, actually working themselves out! blah. Whatever. I'm tired. And I'm sniffley and I really want to get a lingering hug from a reasonably cute person. Hmmmmm. I think I'm going to get moving on that last bit right now. I'll check in later if there's anything at all worth reporting...

I need to be making alot more money.

I also need a Network Engineer. let me know if anyone knows anyone who is available NOW...!

Brillant!

The week-end was brillant BTW! Lots of hanging about with the girls and with other exceptionally cool 6-year olds. I did some laundry, figured out how to hook up a supplemental VCR to the existing "tower of power" because, seriously folks, you can NEVER have too much VCR-capability! and assisted my big girl in the fitting-out, as it were of her fancy new "we're keeping the class fish for the summer" aquarium. Because I am a loser when it comes to fish (I tend to kill them even faster than I do plants!) i went out and bought the full on mondo-fancy, bio-filtration, uber-aeration "if-your-fish-die-it's-because-you-forgot-to-put-them-in-the-tank" tank so there is a better than average chance this one will survive her months in the Magnet home. One hopes, at any rate... hmmmmm. Maybe I better start sourcing "doppleganger" goldfish just in case...

Black Code

My dear friend Angel is back in town for a few days. He just stopped by to say "howdy" wearing this and I just about attacked him. Seriously, if you are in any way a boy/boyish/a big ole girl who occassionally plays at appearing masculine, you owe it to yourself to buy this cologne. You then owe it to the world to let every available girlish type person within smelling distance come nuzzle into your neck. All I know is that hand-to-god this stuff smells like really good sex. And lemon. With a bergamot chaser. Seriously.

Discussion Points...

The 12 year old sitting on my livingroom floor seems to think that a person should "work" at the beginning of a relationship but that once it's established they are allowed to slack off. I happen to think the opposite; that doing extraordinary amounts of work just to get someone to admit they like you is stupid (although, I will admit that I've just recently arrived at this conclusion) but that once you know you want to stay together for a little bit, that you then need to allow some time and energy for "working through" the inevitable shit that will occur. I know I'm right because I'm 37 and have been around the block a time or two and he is four. Conversely, I am routinely failing to find someone who is interested in touching my naughty bits for more than a time or two and he is happily ensconced in a committed, relatively long-term, relatively equal relationship with a smart, attractive pink-haired girl who, while she should honestly know better, doesn't seem to be going anywhere any time soon. Hmmmmmmm. I think that means he wins.

On an entirely unrelated note, the little pest just channeled his inner-hairdresser and gave me a really great haircut so while I may never recover from the twin annoyances of finding out that 1) I am once again facing months of no kissing and 2) DB may actually be smarter than me when it comes to relationships, at least I look good.

You win some...

So, I don't think I'm "seeing" anyone anymore. It's hard to say because I still very much like my boy and he very much still (he says) likes me but we never actually see each other. And, having taken a long, cool appraising glance at our respective lives, I don't think it's not super likely that we ever will. Given all of this, I'm thinking that maybe we should "just be friends" for awhile (the kind of friends that never see each other! :-]) and, having put that out there and not having recieved any strong opposition to the idea, I guess that's it. Weird. Anyway...

In other news, I got my 2-year olds new Birth Certificate in the mail today! Yay! They spelled her name wrong, so I have to send it back (seriously, what is up with people??!) but how cool that I am now listed TWICE in various county registries as the "mother" of "a baby girl"...!

Anyway, I'm at home right now, not working on a paper that's due today so I guess I need to get my get on and start working. Hope people's days are good. I'll check in later if/when this stupid (er...ah... i mean illustrative) tome is finished.

Best not to care...

Will be the name of my next book.

So, this morning started with me walking into some corner cafe and paying close to $3.00 to a bored young gentleman for a large cup of Organic, fair trade, Guatemalan shade-grown brown liquid. I filled my 80% recycled by-product paper cup and let the "shelf-talkers" explain to me how purchasing, distributing and ultimately drinking this particular brand could (and presumably would) lead to total and complete empowerment/self-sustainabilty for numerous rural fishing villiages in 3rd world/"developing" countries. Then, as I took a sip of the not-quite lukewarm, not quite noteworthy in any real way brew, I happened to suddenly become aware of the fact that whilst three (countem three) hip young caucasian gentlemen lounged behind the counter occassionally cutting a slice of wholewheat glutten banana bread or serving up an organic strawberry "crumble" in a reusable ceramic tureen for a customer (but, honestly, more often than not, chatting about whether or not the one individual needed "terrain" wheels on his bicycle for city riding or whether that was just plain "overkill") there was a middle aged woman apparently of Mexican descent changing out the coffee pots, wiping up the counter, sweeping together the left over newspapers and emptying the crap out of the used spoon receptacle. It occurred to me that it was not outside the realm of realistic possibility that this woman made less than the gents "on the register" and that's when I realized that there are moments in life when, really, if one intends to continue occupying space in this world/not giving in to the need to kill someone all the time, one really must learn that at times it is best not to care...

On an entirely different note, is there anyone on earth more compelling than Johnny Depp?? Well, maybe, but go have a look at the French kissing lesson in Cry-Baby and then try to convince me otherwise!

conversation

Boo: {subdued tiny voice} Hi, Mommy, it's me.
Me: Hey, Sweeetie what's up?
Boo: Ms. "World's Best Second Grade Teacher" says I can ask if I can have the fish.
Me: The class fish?
Boo: {still sad} Uh huh.
Me: Sure. O.K.
Boo: {surprise} Really?
Me: [thinking: "Is there a 'deal' here that I'm missing?"] yeah.
Boo: {happy} Yay!
Me: That it?
Boo: Uh huh. {pause} CP said I couldn't because we don't have room...
Me: {having it all become suddenly clear/anticipating future conversation with CP re: "undermining her authority/decisions/making it so that Boo want to be at my house more... blah, blah, blah!!!!"} Ah. Well. We have TONS of space so bring it, Baby!

:-]

Wow. Just wow.

http://www.cowboytroy.com/

Two-year-old is doing swell

Thanks fer asking! We just had our 24 month check up and at the nice Dr. office Ms. Simms-Mackey (aka "Best damn kid doctor in the world!") asked "Is she speaking in sentences yet? To which I replied "Hmmm. Not really. But she does have lots of words." And to which my Big Girl Two-year-old then replied: "Whar mi apple??!" Yes, That's right folks. Parenting = nothing more than a series of steps designed to show you that YOU. KNOW. NOTHING.

We also got shots. Which suck. Big Girl Trooper handled it well though her mother was a mess.

Pattern...?

You know who the across the board, most attractive, downright sexiest people are at my kid's school? The divorced moms and the married dads. I do not know what it is about being married that makes all the attached moms so freaking surly but, seriously, those chicks need to relax. There is one married mom who stand in opposition to the aforementioned rule but she is from new York so whaddaya want??

Tangential segue here. I love my big girl so much it's silly. This morning she was being all resigned about getting up and getting dressed and having her breakfast and assisting her sister down the stairs ... and after we dropped off the Spark at daycare and were heading across the bridge... after ALL of this good-natured usefulness, she remarks to me that she feels sick. Not in a whiney, screamy, moody way, but more in a "I feel bad. Not 'bad' like 'mad' but bad like kind of nauseous..." and I remark that I'm sorry but that we're almost to school and can she try it out and see if she feels better? And she says "yes." and promptly snuggles into my arm and falls asleep. Now, I'm not sure what it is about this whole scenario that makes my heart hurt but there it is... Kids. Get some. Love them.

Yay, yay, yay...

I {heart} my friends! I {heart} thier beautiful babies, too! Seriously, how is it possible that I have been so completely blessed as to have ALL the cool people in the world willing to play integral roles in my social circle??? (I'm not going to question it too much because that might lead to certain people asking certain questions and someone somewhere might realize it's all a huge mistake and ... well... that would just be BAD!) Pesh B-day celebration today was perfect. weather was perfect. Pals showed up, most with beautiful offspring in tow. Perfect. New Boyfriend made an appearance as well (which was particularly brave since basically his entire invitation was predicated upon the fact that a bunch of people wanted to have a look at him!) escorting one of the coolest 6 year olds ever... all in all it was just a really great fabulous turn-out and I am happy. And tired. But I'm always tired, so there you have it.

Happy 2nd B-Day, Baby!!!!!!

Today is my sweetie-Mouse's Second Birthday! Whoo Hoo! It is sooooo all about being a grown-up from here on in...! Now if i can hjsut figure out how to get the towel to "disappear"...

toddler stuff

So, here's what you do when your kid hits the 20-24 month age. You surreptitiously surround them with every kind of soft, attractive, 100% organic something 200 thread count open-work weave, child-sized blanket item imaginable so that when (and the odds are they will, although Boo didn't for some reason...) they decide they can't live without that particular strip of cloth 1) it's relatively presentable at least for the first few months, 2) it's fairly easy to drag around given that it's sized for a miniature person and 3) you know where you got it so when the time comes (and it will come) for the item in question to be forgotten on the bus you can find a replacement fairly easily. This, of course, presumes that you, not your toddler is in charge of this relationship which (I think we all know) is just plain faulty logic at best and a fact which, normally, I'm well aware of -- why then was I in any way surprised by my baby-girl's sudden fiercely possessive adoption of a stained, king-sized bath towel with neon crabs, a possessed looking dolphin and the words "Puerto Rico!" emblazoned across the mid-area that i think she found in either in the scrap fabric box or under her bed. {sigh} It's not so much a question of when will I be able to understand her and her tiny little choices but more when will I get that I'm not really supposed to...

La La la...!

Just saw NYG. Just got kissed! Me=happy!

Band names...

O.k. remember you saw it here first!

Me: what're you gonna call the band you're gonna be in when you grow up?
Boo: I dunno. I like the "D Chicks."
Me: How about "Backbeat and the Taquitos"
Boo: {laughs} ha! How about "Backbeat and the Zapatos!"
Me: Ha! "The Zapatos!" I love that!
Boo: But if Spark was here she'd say "Red Zapatos"
Me & Boo: {simultaneously delighted} "The Red Zapatos!"

{sigh, wipe eye.} I swear, sometimes having a kid is just way too much fun.

You wanna feel old...?

Go to your buddy's 30ieth B-day party and really consider the fact that you're the oldest person in the room by at least 7-10 years. Scary. And not in a good way. Just kidding. B-Day festie was delightful. I am amazed that such quantities of beauty not only walk the face of the earth but that they congregate in Mistah L-L's life! Met the little (?) brother as well. He's sweet. Quiet and nice. He's here for a bit so hopefully I'll get more of a chance to chat with him/find out all of Mistah L-L's childhood secrets!

---

In other news, just got off the phone with My New Boyfriend -- he's been slammed this week with the job and the pseudo single-parent gig whilst Iron-on Transfer Gal is on the East Coast so he's not had all that much time to lavish attention on me which just plain SUCKS. Understandable though. His kid is super lucky right now because apparently yesterday involved getting a goldfish/SpongBob aquarium which is just plain cool by anyone's standards! So, being that I am a centered and aware person who has undergone significant amounts of self-analysis not too mention seen real, lasting growth in terms of my "patterns" and who is working on her empathetic connecting, I am not in any way dissapointed or sad or jealous that despite all the crazyness and not having seen me in forever someone else got what little extra time and attention NYG had to give last night. (And yes, I know that I had other plans as well -- but honestly, that's not really the point now is it??!) So much for a slam dunk. Why, oh why do I tend to forget that this dating/relationship stuff takes work...
I'm in a weird mood so I'm going to close with a conversation with the Boo who I just picked up from a sleep-over B-day party she was at last night.

Boo: So, yesterday I was lonely and I sang a song and just when I finished Antonia walked over and asked me if I wanted to play.
Me: What was the song?
Boo: The one from Mulan after she can't be a bride because she's different.
Me: Oh. [I'm useless.]

Happy Birthday Mistah Lovah-Lovah!

At least I think it's today. Happy Birthday, even if it's not! You're a star and I am simply delighted that you continue to exist! Mwah!

Arrrrg!

Well not really. Actually things seem to be working themselves through in a not completely stupid way. I have my baby here at work today for a few hours (wherein I have 4, countem 4 freaking meetings to attend) -- she is feverish but not "screamy" so we're pretty much all good on that score. My new Sweetheart is ignoring me (he has alot of work to do or something equally useless excuse-wise. When will these people learn to get their priorities straight/realize it is all about ME and my needs???) but other than that things are going o.k. I got my test and my first statistical article analysis paper back in class last night and i got pretty o.k. grades on both so I guess I'm not completely doomed... Sigh. Anyways. Just checking in before i go off to meet with the troops. Hope everyone's day is fabulous! Ciao fer now!

Not much time...

To post today since things are still askew at work, but i just had to give a major shout-out to the whole beautiful Bee family who came by this week-end and whipped my yard into glorious, pruned shape!It's crazy -- It's like someone actually cares about it again! Nice.

Due to a significant lack of Boo this week-end, i ended up having lots of other visitors as well (What up, Miss Tail and Dirty B. in da house! Whoo Whoo!). I fully realize the visits were because everyone knows how pathetic I am without my Boo but hell, I ain't proud!

Then when I got my Boo back I had to share her with Miss Maxi-Pants which was just soooo unfair onna counta she's funner than I am. It all worked out in the end though since MP had to leave eventually and I was able to tempt my child to stay by offering her lots of cookies. NEVER underestimate the power of a home baked cookie!

Also had a little drop-by from my new very favoritest Boy person, NYG. He is cute and I like him so very much. {sigh} Anyway. Probably the last time I get to see him until sometime next month so I'm glad it was memorable! K. anyway. I am sitting here covered with toddler poo trying to avoid the full-scale clean-up that needs to happen right now but, the smell is starting to get to me so... til later my frieds. Adieu, adieu, adieu...

La la la...

Baby is in bed supposedly asleep. Big Girl is with CP. House is clean(kind of) and I am just sitting here WAITING FOR THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN IN THE WORLD TO COME OVER. I think I'm going to die...

La-deez and Genteel-men, In - tro - ducing......!

My next 3-5 year relationship! Whoo Hoo! Give it up folks for New York Guy!!! {sigh. smile.} My face feels like it's had sandpaper dragged across it. But in a good way, ya know... :-]

Sweet Jeezuz, Gawd!

It just doesn't get better does it?? (I know I'm a minor player in all of this but still, the act of watching something so silly compound itself until it verges on the surreal is disheartening to the point of being laughable -- if you can call a fed-up discusted sort of snort "laughter"...) {sigh}

K. So. not really moving on but at least making an attempt to buckle down...

More later if I can get over being annoyed/depressed

And today's F*** YOU! goes to...

This chick at the park yesterday who stared at my littlest one for close to ten minutes before walking up and asking "Is her hair some sort of fashion statement?" I replied "No. It's just her hair." Still though. Pissed me off. How exactly is it that people seem to think they're allowed to comment on my coarse-haired child's supposed life of folicular woes whereas they would NEVER dream of applying the same sort of commentary to my smoother-haired big girl... I get that it's a "cultural" thing but it's also an annoyingly judgmental, borderline racist thing that needs to stop is all. I mean, I can be cool with the term "interesting" as it applies to hair, because it, quite frankly, is pretty cool to look at, it's the assumption that her hair needs to be "fixed" or that I'm supposed to agonize over "taming"/"combing" and "managing" it that's got my particular panties in a wad. And it comes from EVERYBODY (even people who should know better - MOM!) -- anyway. Nothing new, just something to add to my list of things to fight against is all. I have to get some better comebacks though. "It's just her hair!" is true but it's not pissy enough. What if I get tiny t-shirts made that say "Nappy-headed!" with a cute little brown baby girl on the front and the words "Proud much?" on the back -- That might be just the ticket...!

Quick note...

Weekend going stupendously. Thanks for asking! Just to clarify -- the DATE isn't actually supposed to happen until Wed. eve. Right this second our little mutual admiration society is more taking the form of yakking on the phone trying to figure out ways to be mildly insulting without actually being offputting. Rest assured, I'll let chall know how it goes... :-]

Hmmmm...

We've not even completed our first date and I'm already wondering what the break-up is going to be like.

There is something seriously wrong with me.



(did everyone catch the subtext there? I HAVE A DATE!!!!!)

Eh, hem. Now then, back to your regular programing..... :-]

Literally sucks ass!

I know I shouldn't make fun of people (uh, yeah.) But every so often I'll be surfing the web (I get paid to do this people -- how much does your job suck??) and I'll happen upon a blog entry like this:

"My name is Ines. You will come to know me a little bit better (hopefully). I live in Atlanta, Georgia, I currently have the most amazing, caring boyfriend in the whole entire world. I work in retail...sometimes it can suck ass, literally. Anyway...I'm a 19 year old bisexual female who enjoys reading poetry, shopping, and singing in the shower daily.What I hope to get from this web blog is a better, more deep understanding of myself." and I just have to take a moment to wonder how exactly our world continues to exist/function... That's all.

New crush!

I may actually go to hell over this one but I've got the serious hots for my friend-here-at-work's newly adopted daughter's bio-dad! Heh.

Anyhoo... HAPPY LEGALIZATION SUPERMOM-B!!! You are so deserving and this has been sooooo long coming and I just wish you and your newly legal big girl the very super best of everything! oxoxoxoxox!

K. I'm still not wanting to work so I'm going to stop typing and try instead to figure out how the hell to get FOCUSED/where I can find some coffee...

This has the website printed on the wrapper, yet I can't get our catalog manager to put OUR website on the front of the catalog??! (Just kidding -- kind of -- You know I {heart} you, CC!)

La La La La...

My baby can't breathe. Do you have any idea how disconcerting it is when your baby is having trouble performing a basic function that's sort of necessary for her to live? Step forward with me then to the world of medical professional types who have pretty much "seen it all" /"are used to this type of thing" and who (although they are very nice and certainly well-meaning) seem almost bored as they tell you (again) that the only thing you can do is continue to pump her tiny body full of steroids. This sucks. Sucks more that I'm a horrible parent and haven't managed to get an appointment with holistic health guy to investigate other (non-western) remedies {sigh} I will put in another call today. I'm tired. Can I go home?

Happy B-Day TM...

Have fun being a year older! (I'm not really in a blogging mood so I guess that's it for now....)

Yay! I just got my truck back with it's fancy new, non-squeaky brakes. The nice auto fixing guy also tightened by oil filter so it would stop hemmoraging oil and informed me that I appear to have no emergency brake at all. He'll fix that for me next week if I want. nice.

Blah.

I'm not inclined to work today. I'm inclined to leave this stupid place to it's own stupid devices and to go lie around in the sun and not think about anything. My brakes are getting fixed as we speak though, so that's good...

STUPID FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!! (Sorry. Just had to get that out there.)

The coolest hair, ever!

My baby-girl has really cool hair. Typically, it's all curled up close to her head but when gathered into 21 tiny "puff" ponytails, each puff starts to separate into these super thin, shiny black corkscrew curls. Seriously. Just about the coolest thing I've ever seen. (We both got sleep last night so, she's remarkably less agro about everything and I'm in a MUCH better mood. Plus, she gets to hang with the World's-GREATEST-baby-sitter two nights a week now instead of just the one eve with TWGBS + one with "O.K. but not as stellar babysitter" so I'm thinking that had something to do with it...)

"Communication breakdown," my ass!

This post is going to be crabby.

i've had no sleep, my baby has elected screaming as her primary mode of communication and my truck needs new brakepads.

Plus, I get home last night with aforementioned Miss Screamy-Pants in tow to find this message on my machine:

"6:10pm - {beep} Hey, Chick, it's CP. Is Boo with you??! {click}"

Seriously. If you ever want to make a co-parent's heart STOP BEATING leave a message on her goddamn machine asking where the child that she left in what she considered a fairly safe place at the beginning of the day for you to pick up at the end of the day (following a schedule that's been established for the better part of THREE years, BTW way, no surprises here) is. go ahead. It's fun. Really! Then when she calls you back in a panic, laugh and say "She's at BV? I'm at AFY. You didn't tell me where she was going to be [two face-to-face-conversations + one e-mail="not telling"] so I just assumed she was over here [why?? Why would you assume that she would be someplace she has only ever been once in her entire life for about two days and that we agreed was useless and out-of-the-way??!] Anyway, [here's an attempt to make ME feel better for dropping the ball] it was probably just a communication breakdown. Can you call them and let them know I'm on my way?"

AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

{breathe} I'm going to say this slowly so that it is crystal clear to every single person in the world who has ever considered attempting this. Do. Not. Co-parent. Just don't. Unless you can figure out how to somehow do it differently. The thing is CP is a "good" co-parent. Given the various stories I hear from other people who are trying this, she's downright stellar. She's at the top of her game and still I am forced to entertain thoughts for close to half and hour about how completely not worth living my life would instantly become should I suddenly find out my Boo had gone missing. {sigh} Seriously, I think the best thing my dad ever did for my mom was to exit stage right pretty much the second he realized he was useless as a parent. We turned out great. My mom didn't have to deal with this particular load of crap. And Pops got to swoop in as the best G-pa in existence so it all worked out....

Vacation, all I ever wanted! Vacation, HAD to get away...!

Just got back from a loverly little road trip with the babies to the fab-u-loso Santa Cruz! Some thoughts:

1) There are NO black people in Santa Cruz. There were three but then we left.
2) My kids rule! I love them and I love running around with them.
3) That being said, my youngest has a new nickname "Miss Screamy-Pants" -- nuff said.
4) A road trip is simply not a roadtrip unless you're driving a cool car. Thanks to Rent-a-Wreck for the Chevy malibu, gold, fully automatic (like EVERYTHING in this car was on auto -- it was a little scary) hook-up!
5) Regardless of how kickass it is to be out and about, it is always equally nice to come home.
That's it for now. Cheers! (oh, and happy Easter and stuff...)

This will be quick...

Because I'm tired. Just wanted to say though that we met with Miss Boo's teacher today and whilst I was waiting in the hall for her to finish up with some other student's 'rents/finish chatting with the co-teacher she had on hand as a Spanish/English interpreter, I heard her say "Only one more! This one is going to be fun though, she's one of my favorites!" (!!) Yay! I mean, we know this right but still! How very lovely to hear that the woman in charge of my Angel-Baby's life for close to 6 hours a day thinks she's the knees of the bees just like the rest of us! Besides which, I always love these things because we get to read Boo's journal that she keeps in class to write in during the day. A-DOR-RA-BLE! Pictures of Spark blowing kisses, ruminations about how she's "out of sorts but doesn't exactly know why." Asides written in parenthesees (she's the only kid in class who uses parenthesees -- wonder where she gets that from??) just general goodness and light all the way around. She's reading and comprehending at "well-above grade level" Strong marks in everything else. One thing the teach did point out which is interesting is that because Boo doesn't really choose her friends (they choose her) she sometimes ends up in the middle where groups/individuals are wanting her to be exclusive -- Teach brings this up because she noticed that Boo isn't inclined to exploit this like some of the other "intellectually more mature" girls do which is good (great) but that sometimes she may feel like she needs to just be by herself because the demands can feel overwhelming. This is a new take on the "She's too sensitive" thing I've been hearing from her teachers over the years and so is interesting to me. Poor little one. It's kind of true though. The only time I've known her to actually choose someone to be friends with was Sweet Little Becky who I think she liked/likes because they're basically the same child only with different parents and different hair. Also to come out of this meeting was a copy of the cookbook the kids in class made as part of a fundraising project and which (if you all are VERY nice) I may share. Probably not though so don't get your hopes too up... (they're only $15.00/copy, BTW, all proceeds go to Boo's school. I'll be taking orders through Saturday...!)

Fame!

One seriously great movie! I mean, sure, no one in it can actually act but STILL! The hopes, the dreams, the unmitigated angst...! We watched Once Upon a Time in Mexico as well. Can we all just say EYE-CANDY! Christ. I didn't even know they made people that beautiful! Oh, and for the record DB = "whiny-ass baby who had better be off my couch by the time I get home tonight!"

That's it for now. Hope everyone's day is FAB!

Happy Birthday (yesterday), IHOEL!

That's right, IHOEL is the first and arguably finest of our little clan to reach the 40-candles-on-the-cake stage of her career and I would just like to take a moment to wish her Happy, happy B-Day and to sincerely hope she has the very best year of living ever!

There. Now that that's done, can we please turn the conversation back to me??! Sheesh. I have the world's largest pimple on the tip of my nose. There was a single moment during the last two days whilst I was readying myself to go out and hang with people of the adult nature when I wondered what exactly it could possibly be that was preventing some significantly adorable type from throwing his or herself at my impeccably clad feet and now I know. It is the fact that no one, let alone anyone with whom I am intended to get horizontal, could look me in the eye, presumably bypassing the ENORMOUS pimple on my nose, without busting up. Which, of course, would render any further discussion of dating pretty much useless. We could be friends maybe. But really, I need my love-interests to not laugh at me. A girl's gotta have standards!

Speaking of dating. i was honored to have the ever adorable Bendy Girl as my date for the Company after-holiday party and you can imagine my delight when I discovered that in addition to the fact that we continue to have nothing in common, she is also now apparently allergic to me! Don't know why this didn't come up sooner given the extreme kissing that's gone on during past sessions but there it is. Constant sneezing, watery eyes, itching. The whole nine yards. And believe you me, there is nothing so emotionally fulfilling as a really very cute, awfully smart, sexy girl standing next to her motorcyle, smiling at you whilst murmuring those words every gal wants to hear: "Stay away from me! You make me sneeze!"

{sigh} Thanks BTW to Mistah L-L, Miss K and the ever wonderful Miss Tail for providing some quality kid-sitting so I could go out and commune with grownups/remember exactly what serious rejection feels like. You all rock and I owe you big!

p.s. I am never leaving the house ever again.

I am in love!

With a man named Chris. I don't know what Chris looks like (I think he's from Australia though) but he was given the hands of a saint and was furthermore good enough to rub those hands all over my back and most of my front for approximately 50 minutes AFTER i'd already been had quite a nice little soak in lilac scented rosewater for about half an hour. I am mush right now and I owe it all to Chris.

I also owe it to DB who gave me the coupon to the Kabuki Springs & Spa centerand who, regardless of how much I rail about his continued existence in my life is actually, the very finest kind of "good people". (This should not, however, be taken to mean you can resume coming over whenever the hell you want, DB so don't go getting any ideas!) Thank you, thank you. A thousand times thank you!

In other news, my children will soon be featured as flower girls extraordinare at the wedding of the century tween a certain Mistah L-L and his fabulous Fee-yon-ce (pronounced like Beyonce), Ms. K. That's right, folks, apparently the ring was big enough and she said yes!! It really is all too perfect and I'm going to stop talking about it now lest I tear up... {sniff}

Marketing Chick is back and has resumed her attentions after a sudden and complete hiatus of a week and a half during which I fabricated all sorts of bizarre rationales. Apparently, rather than exhibiting the shallow, odd, borderline pychotic tendencies I'd been wont to ascribe to her, the real reason for the total news black-out was more straightforward -- she had to go to Ohio for a family "conference." (meaning, I gather, that someone "passed" and they had to sort out who got the house on the hill. Either that or "Ohio" is code for "The CIA occassionally needs me to help them tie up loose ends" Honestly though, she's cute, she's entertaining, so I'm not asking!)

Baby Grand-Niece, TJ is in New Mexico as we speak and although I've not yet been blessed with in-the-home pictures (seriously, this whole taking-pictures-but-then-never-developing-the-film thing must be endemic to the Magnet clan. All I know is, it has got to stop!) I've had the opportunity to hear her gurgle at me over the phone lines and I just have to say, it is soooo obvious she's been blessed with every single iota of fabulousness that being a part of the Magnet lineage promises to provide and then some!

Hmmmmm. I think that's it. I could go on and on and on about the continuing adorableness of my two-year-old but I'll save that for tomorrow when it will no doubt have been doubled (tripled even!)

Note...

If I've only met you once (and spoken approximately four sentences to you) and still my instant response upon thinking of you and/or interacting with you is "Ass!" then I honestly feel there's some room for personal development in your future. just saying.

Now then, I got my kid this little $4.00 book of spells she's been wanting, like, forever and upon receiving it she said "Oh, Mommy! Thank you, thank you thank you! Wow. This is just like getting a sister. You forget all about it then it shows up!" Nice.

And lastly, my best bud in the whole world is not feeling well and I was just thinking about her today and I'm sorry she's sick and I hope she gets better soon. That's all fer right now. Hasta la pasta, Baby!

My baby has entered an even more adorable stage

Granted, not all that possible but true nonetheless! She is being freaking A-Dor-ra-ble right now. Skipping around, kissing me incessantly, hugging my legs whenever she's near me... just a delight! When she's not biting, that is. The biting thing just started as well. C'est la vie. i guess you can't have everything... :-]

What the...??!

Just got in to work a minute ago and it would seem that the new cleaning people have taken it upon themselves to toss out the varous dying/dead plants that once graced my desk -- pretty much serving as the only real warning most people get to just back-off! Damn. I wonder what would happen if I brought in another dead plant. Like I wonder if it would turn into this huge power/values struggle between me and the cleaning peeps... Whatever.

Conversation from this week-end:

Me: So, my work is having a after-holiday party. Want to be my date?
Her: Your "date"?
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Is that a scary word? If I call it something different would you be more inclined to go??

And yes, it has been suggested that a not inconsequential part of my repeated failure to "hook-up" may in part be due to my attitude!

{sigh}

K. So. When I'm not alienating girls I want to have sex with, I am being a fabulous mom. I had such a great time with my (admittedly somewhat cranky -- the big one this time. The two-year-old was an angel!) children. And, yes, I am also well aware of the fact that it is only the fabulousness of my babies that allows me to even being to approach that title, all of this notwithstanding, week-end was spent finalizing this really cool quilt project for big kid's class to auction off (which is funny if you think about it because the fact that it existed in my house for so long and that Miss Boo basically made it herself whilst I sat on the couch and watched Chicken Run pretty much means that now I have to go to that stupid auction and try to buy it back! Weird how the world is set up sometimes...)

Anyway, despite the attitude displayed by both myself and my oldest, we all managed (in no small part due to the outrageous adorableness of my littlest big kid) to have a really good time in a "family" way. Very nice.

It's not that serious...

This is what I need to keep repeating to myself. So, I have one kid who's hopped up on steroids (albuterol) making her agro/tantrumy/clingy when it's time to go to sleep and another who's more into the "holistic" approach to being sick (flat-out refuses to take medicine) and as such is sniffeley, fevery and toss-and-turney all night. Add to this a sudden introduction to my life of a really VERY cute Marketing Analyst girl who while she says she has a girlfriend (who she likes very much) seems to be wanting to be on the phone with me an awful lot of the time... Consider the following conversation and tell em if I'm making stuff up:

Her: So, how'd the meeting go?
Me: Really well. People liked your document. I think we're actually going to be able to get moving on this.
Her: Hey, it's your document too. I mean we worked on it together...
Me: Yeah but you told me what to say.
Her: But you wrote it...!
Me: ::giggle- yes, folks, a full-on Chick giggle:: Yeah, with you were standing there reading over my shoulder the whole time!
Her: [obvious smile in voice] I was not reading over your shoulder! I just happened to be standing there -- maybe I looking at something else. Maybe I was looking at your dolls or at the pictures [on my extremely messy/cluttered desk]
Me: Or down my shirt. [I know, I know...Whaddaya want, it was late!]
Her: Yes! Maybe I was just standing there, innocently trying to get a little peek at the goods...
Me: "The goods??"
Her: ::giggle - that was her, folks:: Yeah. That whole evening was really about me trying to get close enough to get a really good look down your shirt.
Me: I knew it! I knew you could care less about the company!
Her: ::laugh::
Me: I feel so used.
Her: ::laugh again:: Yeah, now I have to figure out a way to get you interested in some sort of "follow-up" ...
Me: For the document?
Her: Uh, sure.
Me: Too late. I already turned it over to Marketing.
Her: [silence]
Me: Hello?
Her: Did you say you were taking a statistics class...?

Am I miscontruing this? That's flirting right?????

Whatever. I need to get some sleep before I think about any of this anymore. Otherwise I will go insane.

Ooops. Almost forgot to mention that I ran into Bendy-Girl (or rather, she ran into me!) and she was v. cute and smiley and said she hoped to see me again next week. What is it about crazy girls that makes them sooooo freaking attractive. Also along those lines, I hooked up with this very nice girl who I met through a work contact type and who got all excited to help me out with this work-related thing but who then, upon appearing at my house (I'd actually only spoken with her on the phone) was COMPLETELY cute! Needless to say nothing happened (except coming up with the best damn brand positioning proposal ever! And no, that is not "code" for something...!) we had fun though and she went off home. I was just beginning to get all excited about her (after discussing the situation at length with Missy Ho, my new best friend here at work) when she calls to let me know that she was "just thinking about me and the proposal and wondering how it went" (Good) and "by the way, was just telling her GIRLFRIEND, who wants kids, all about Boo, blah, blah, blah..." (Bad) Whatever. She hugely sweet and helpful and I am grateful to her for her time and attention.

At some point soon I figure I will have been celibate longer than I've been alive. I wonder what that'll feel like...

Kind of sad...

My front flatmates are in the process of clearing out and it's kind of sad watching all the beautiful stuff they did (in terms of front/back yard upgrading) disappear. Just looks sort of deserted now. ::Sniff:: I know I never actually saw either of them but still, I'm gonna miss those ladies.

In other news, I miss my kid. Weird. I technically just saw her but still... We were talking on the phone last night and she told me that she was going to ask her CP if she could have a whole week with me which made me all happy 'n sheet, until I next chatted with a freshly apprised CP and discovered that she also thought it was a great idea because then SHE could have Boo for a week... Which. would. kill. me. ::sigh, again:: I know it's too late for the majority of you, but still, please, if you even are at the point of beginning to consider this stuff, I BEG of you, think twice before you agree that it might be a good idea to share the single most important thing that will ever deign to grace your life with his or her presence. just sayin'.

The definitive rendition...

My Seven-year-old will be giving THE definitive rendition of a runaway slave tonight in her School's Black History Month assembly. I know, you all to a person wish you were me if only for the 20 minutes during which she will be up there emoting about her coming "Freedom" ... sorry folks, there's barely enough room in this skin for me but should an opening turn up, I'll make sure you're notified. Thanks for checking in and please feel free to continue checking back!

hail.

It hailed yesterday. Hail. Like frozen rain. In February. In California fer chrissakes! I mean, it was nice as "teaching moments" go since me and the big kid had JUST gotten through reading about how it hailed in some city somewhere in North Dakota over the weekend and she was wondering what exactly hail was and I couldn't quite explain the concept of rain that was frozen yet still somehow wasn't snow and it was especially nice because we got to bundle up and sit on the porch and watch it come slamming down... but still. Hail.

Yet another case of apples not falling...

Spent the morning with the Bee children today. Absolute fabulosity the whole squeakin' lot of em! Completely adorable. makes me wish I had four more!Then, after they'd gone, Boo and I had the following conversation re: Mr. Johnny Depp who will be starring in this masterpiece

Boo: They're making a new chocolate factory.
Me: Who's they?
Boo: The movie people.
Me: The movie people are making a new chocolate factory?
Boo: Yup. Only without Gene Wilder. This one has a new guy as Willie Wonka.
Me: Oh...! They're remaking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
Boo: It's Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, actually.
Me: Of course.
Boo: Except there's a new Wonka.
Me: Uh huh. [No idea who she's talking about]
Boo: He's got hair like this [touches shoulders] and nice eyes.
Me: Hmmm. [Still no idea]
Boo: I like how his eyes go with his mouth.
Me: Really?
Boo: Uh huh. He's cute. Johnny Something.
Me: Johnny Depp?
Boo: That's it.
Me: Is Willie Wonka?
Boo: Uh huh.
Me: Really?
Boo: Uh huh.
Me: [pause to let this sink in] He is cute.
Boo: [Once again right but, as always, too kind to say so] Mmm hmmm.

Whoo Hoo!

I just found out that my beautiful big Brother and his lovely wife, following in the footsteps of their beloved Chick, and have gotten themselves approved as Foster Parents! Further, I am told that they will soon be receiving a delightful baby boy into their little fosternest. "Soon" as in, NEXT WEEK! "Baby" as in 2 months old. I believe this little person may be a distant relative of the wife and I'm not sure what that all means in terms of whether or not they are permanently expanding their family but I still think it's beyond cool and I am not bitter at all about the fact that their entire certification/placement process took approximately one month! C'est la vie. We Magnets must expand in whichever way the world requires of us, no...? :-]

Blah! But still o.k. :-]

Happy late VD everyone! I'm tired and stressed and not just a little PMS-ey so I'll not linger/bore you with my ranting... Maybe tomorrow I'll be more in the mood to yak. In the meanwhile, look at this.

Congratulations, BTW...

To my beautiful niece and her brand spankin' new baby girl! Whoo Hoo! Welcome to the family, TJ. Pull up a chair. Stay awhile! We're glad you could join us!

Agggg.

I'm sick. I was sick yesterday, I'm sick today and I will no doubt be sick tomorrow. I do NOT however have two broken wrists so that puts me one step ahead of Pretty Boy, the ex-snowboarding king of the world!

In other news, my eldest child pointed out to me yesterday that my youngest is left-handed -- which is cool (hope it lasts) which, of course brings up the issue of how LAME am I that I didn't notice something as basic as her eating, writing and turning pages with her southern paw before this? My brain is gone. Also interesting, Mistah L-L dropped by the other night right around Spark bedtime and for some reason (I don't know how or why) my little angel who is accustomed to, if not actually screaming, at least kicking and thrashing around in a grumbly sort of way, the second the lights go out -- didn't. She just went to sleep. It was bizarre. Boo and I were amazed. Boo thinks it's because Mistah L-L reminds Spark of her other "uncle" who is tall and whom she a-dores and whom she spent the first year of her life with and that kind of makes sense. Pretty much regardless though, we both agree that it is now incumbent on Mistah L-L to put in an appearance every night at Chez Chick circa 7:30 for the rest of our lives so my child will go to sleep in as peaceable manner as possible. No need to hang around or anythinng. Really what we're looking for is the "pop-in." In lieu of that, perhaps we could get some sort of large cardboard cut-out...

My darling friend here at work has just informed me that she's given me a nickname. I'll not say what it is but I will say that it is Dee-lightful!

I get PAID to do this??!

Just got a call from Marketing asking if I could possibly assist with this event. They want me to take polaroids of Ms. Hartley as she poses with her random adoring fans. Now, for those of you who may have missed the key elements here -- I. get. to. stare. at Nina Hartley. for two hours. whilst simultaneously doing everything in my power to make her and whomever she's with "give it up for the camera!" -- there is a god and she loves me!

Rock and Roll!!

Ha, My baby likes the Heartbreakers! I made a tape for the children from this Kid's Travelin' Songs CD I had and there was room at the end so I slipped in a few of the classics and I swear to gawd, my two-year-old got THE bigest smile on her face when Tom Petty's "Waiting" came on. I mean she was de-lighted! Nice. (she was slightly less enthralled with Meatloaf - "I won't do that!" but I can see the Meatboy being more of an aquired taste...)

In other news, DB showed up at my place last night with THE tiniest girl I think i've ever seen. Seriously, this chick topped out at 4 foot 6 or something like that. She was Boo-sized. Cute like a Bratz doll just so itty-bitty. I took the liberty to explain to him (whilst she was availing herself of the "facilities") that I had just completed one adoption and wasn't really in the mood to try aquiring another child right this second only to find that he was offering up this tiny being as a possible love-match for the Chickster! I know. I was/am/will continue to be shocked. And appalled. And a little bit flattered. Thanks, DBs, you're sweet, but I think I'm good.

Sweet God in heaven!

I just found out that my Niece's baby, TJ is due to be sliced out of one of her mom (one of the coolest gals ever to grace this planet with her presence) on Monday, Feb. 7th!!!!!! {breathe} wow. I'm gonna be a Grand-Auntie....

Lyle was great...

Thanks for asking. Just fabulous. The entire evening was splendid. That Miss Tail is a gem, I tell ya, a gem! Extra mondo thanks to the Bee family (again) for hosting my children -- you all continue to amaze me with you overall fabulosity and I soooooo owe you big time.

Two other things worth mentioning: last week I took the Boo to the dentist to have major filling work done plus sealants applied and SHE WAS GREAT! I mean, beyond great. Granted her new dentist is pretty much the bee's knees as well, but seriously, my little girl was a trooper like nobuddies bidness and she deserves her own special shout-out! Good going, Boo. you rock!

Then, too, there was a "date" that happened which was painful at best and really not worth dwelling on right this second -- suffice to say this person thought my having kids was "awesome!" which is true but for someone to announce something like that(who doesn't have kids of her own) pretty much before being offered any evidence whatsoever of their respective fabulousness... well, it just smacks of pandering and I will not be pandered to! Plus, she wasn't all that appealing to me in terms of cuteness. I think it really goes without saying that had my Green-eyed OOMA said the exact same thing at the exact same stage of her and my relationship I would have not only fallen more instantly in love, I would have marveled at her incredible insight. Ah me. Such are the vagaries of life...

I LOVE my Friends!

Specifically, IHOEL and the Missus Bee who have graciously agreed to watch my little ones tonight so i can go see Lyle Lovett. Now, the background on this would be that I had purchased these tickets months ago, planned on taking my darling pal Miss Tail to celebrate our respective birthdays, lined up a babysitter, double checked all arrangements last night only to recieve a VM from the babysitter -- on my way in to work this morning -- saying that she was sick and had to cancel. "Sorry." Enter IHOEL who wanders by my desk and wonders at my complete and abject sadness at having to cancel/ammend my plans and who then offers to watch the babies for me so I can go out tonight... [!!] That's right, folks. There is no one in the world who could convince me at this point that I do not have THE highest quality, most caring, most wonderful friends ever invented. {sniff. wipe eye} I just really heart these guys!

This sh** can NOT be taught!

My home phone has been statickey to the point of my not being able to hear callers AT ALL (leading to a really very nice justification of my unwillingness to actually answer the phone ever) for the last 6 months but I think it got fixed yesterday. I do feel the need to point out the fact that I am well aware that waiting the better part of a year to get something as intrinsic as my home phone fixed raises my "slacker" quotient to heretofore unimaginable heights but that being said, I say "I think" because the nice repair guy (if that's who, in act, he was!) stopped by, had a quick glance around my house, asked if I had kids (to which I replied in the affirmative) then said, and I quote: "K. Well, I don't think the problem is inside. I'll either be back or I'll call you with an update." Then he left not having actually at any point examined the inside wiring. Further, when I checked the line at a later point in the evening, I found it too be static free (Yay!) but (again) the repair guy never showed back up, nor did he "call." At no point was I asked to sign anything... I just think it's really wierd that he just came by and fixed something, then left without letting me know he was done or asking me to initial anything. The only thing I can think is that maybe the fix was going to cost me and he didn't feel like charging some "Af-Am-single-mom-with-kids" for the service... I dunno. Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing...?

Did I mention...

I'm going to see Lyle Lovett on friday? Quick show of hands, who's jealous??

(FYI: I am so delighted about this I may just explode!)

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Today's my birthday!

Happy Birthday, me. Today was fabulous. i love my family. i love my kids. I especially love my friends (and their kids!) I'll expand upon all of that at some later point I suppose but I just wanted to offer it up into the universe from whence I came that I am well aware of (and grateful for) the fact that I'm the single most luckiest/blessed human being on the planet!

Mine, Mine, Mine!

Well, that's over. Spark Bryant has officially become Spark Magnet and I have the reams of certified paperwork to prove it! (Who would have thought it's so relatively easy to shackle yourself to another human being's needs for the next 16 years? Although, I guess that crazy little thing they call marriage sort of involves the same thing but at least it's for a much shorter amount of time. Ha! Just kidding! I heart each and every one of my married and/or soon to be married friends and I hope/know your marriage will last FOR-evah!!

Right this second I am tired, stressed and not just a little overwhelmed by everything mainly because it would appear that I said in front of God and everyone that I not only could do this but that I could do it well (add to the mix the fact that I forgot that my classes start TONIGHT -- I was reminded by my babysitter calling me in San Jose circa 4:30 wondering if I still planned to drop Spark with her at 5:00? I am a loser and a flake. I'm going to buy her something really nice though so hopefully she'll forget tonight ever happened...) Sigh. k. Just for the record, I'm really happy too. I love my little family and I am truly lucky and truly blessed. I will drink a toast tonight, light a candle, possibly take up a religion and I am positive tomorrow will be jsut ducky!

Embraceable

O.K. so apparently Cordouroy Goucho Pants are back in style and I am very, very afraid....

So, I'm talking to a buddy of mine last night and he opines that I ought not be too worried about getting old (for the record, I'm not at ALL worried) because despite my complete lack of patience for all things "insipid"/the fat gathering around the base of kneecaps/my quickness to defend indefensible positions simply because I feel like it -- I'm still "embraceable" and therefore worth something. I cannot say that I honestly know what that means or that he was speaking from the "soberist" of places but still and all, I think it was a compliment of sorts and so, I'll take it!

I'm tired so my reasoning may be faulty

But, I think I need to go see Elektra...! Anyone out there willing to talk me down from this?

"don`t be an asshole Desiree"

Ah, spam.... Where do they come up with the titles for these things...! Alright, so I'm not saying I'm having any kind of mid-life crisis or anything but on my way in to work this morning (as I wandered through the motions of dropping off the kid, chatting up the coffee counter girl, checking out the other caffeine patrons as we stood about waiting for our various toasted pastry items...) I noticed that I'm older than everybody else. Not only that but in spite of (or maybe because of) my actual age in dog years I still get treated like I'm younger for some reason. It's weird. I'm sitting there yakking with Ms. 20-something-Double-latte-with-skim about Tiffany and how sad it was that "Dreams Never Die" never made it to the states (her song was on the sound system at the time -- this wasn't just a random flight of fancy) and about how very misundersttod she/her career were and this other lady (maybe early thirties) in what used to be Armani casual before it became pase to flaunt your designers, glances over at us with a little, condescending smile/"been there, moved on" look and I'm thinking "Hey!! Enough with the 'tude, Chicka, I'm old enough to be your mom! (Or at least much older sister...)" whilst my co-patriot actually looked a little sheepish. And therein lies the rub. It would seem I'm at a point in my life where I still act young enough to embarrass my friends but I'm old enough to defend my silliness/stupidity because, seriously, when it comes right down to it, it's ALL stupid, it just that some idiocy makes you giggle whereas other flavors make you feel like slitting your wrists. Whatever. I give Ms. Beige slacks with this season's jacket a few more years before she either loosens up or starts some serious botox.

How is it so freaking cold???

K. Just needed to get that off my chest. I'm better now. Had a grand week-end. My big kid and I spent an almost scary amount of time giggling over an imaginary conversation we imagined my youngest to be having with us re: her new juice cup.

Me: Here's your juice!
Spark: (in reality giving me the silent stare but in her head...) What's with the new cup?
Me: Don't you want your juice?
Spark: Um. Okaaayyyyy.... I get it. It's a joke. Ha Ha. So... where's my juice?
Me: This is your juice. See [makes sippy face] juice!
Spark: [glances at Boo] Is it just me, or is she insane?

I don't know exactly why the two of us felt this was such a hilarious concept but we did and THE ENTIRE RIDE in today we felt the need to embellish e.g. "HA! There I laughed. Now can I have my juice??" This last from Boo made me laugh so hard I almost swerved into incoming traffic.

We also, Me and the Boo, applied Mud Masks to our admittedly already baby-bottom smooth faces and spent a good half hour walking around the house trying to dream up things to say that sounded really weird when you couldn't open your mouth all the way.

{chuckle, sigh} good times, good times... {wipe eye} I really need to get out more...

K. So I try not to talk about work but I just have to say I ::heart:: my "staff"! I really do! Two of the sweetest, most talented gals a person could hope to work with! K. That's it. More later if I find time...

Happy New Year!

1) Trip to New Mexico was grand! Family is doing well. Everyone is healthy and relatively happy and the entire Magnet clan continues to be almost scarily attractive/charismatic (It's a curse!)

2) Found out that Spark will be legally mine - all - mine as of Jan. 19, 2005 at 1pm o'clock Pacific Standard Time! Yay! Look for your eVite to the celebratory bash later that week!

3) Spent the week-end transitioning aforementioned toddler to a big-kid bed and assembling (with the fabulous tools/assistance of a certain Travelin' Man) THE world's coolest dresser for the Boo so she could give her "little kid" dresser to the Spark -- actually, in terms of assembly, Boo did all the hard work. I think I really just read the directions and handed her the nails. TM pretty much just sat on the couch...

4) House is a mess but school for me doesn't start until the end of the month so it is all about cleaning/throwing away crap for the next several weeks which will be swell and which will make Mistah L-L happy!

5) I got an "A-" in my "not-so-sure-how-I-did" Qualitative Analysis class which is GREAT, although I have afeeling it might be because the Prof was in the middle of something else and really didn't have time to read any of the papers. Not that I care! Go ahead, ask me to qualitatively analyze something, anything...!

and

6) I am not rested but I am still fairly happy which only bodes well for the time when I hopefully will be both!

Cheers, pets! Hope the year's a happy one!!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!

I'll make this quick since there are presents waiting to be opened...! I'm in new Mexico with the world's most beautiful family having a very fabulous/cool/stressful time. The various houses of the various peeps are beautiful, the various significant others are sweet and my babies seem to be adjusting well so, it's all good, as they say. (I am kind of secretly looking forward to being back at home in my same old boring routine but more on that later...)

Huge thanks to the front neighbors because I think they're covering for my major bone-headed moment and taking care of my cats (at least, I hope!) and second super big thanks to my beautiful Green-eyed girl for assisting in the Oakland side pick up once we return. Kisses to everybody. I can't wait to see you all again. Mwah!! Mwah!!

What a difference some sleep makes...!

Ah.... re-freshed! So, dropped the baby off with her G-ma in San Josers last night, spent a little quality time movie-going with my big kid, home for a quick visit with the Travelin' Man then - went - to - bed. (And stayed asleep until 7: blessed 15 am.)Woke up this morning feeling GOOD! All singey and dancey and whatnot! i love sleep. Anyone who badmouths sleep has seriously got me to contend with because I will kick some a** over that one!!! Eh, hem. sorry. got a little fiesty there but I'm better now. So... weekend was swell. me and the seven-year-old hung some lights on the bookshelf so the place is all festive and whatnot. I'm nowhere near packed for our trip but, whatever, I'll throw it all together tomorrow night and if I forget anything I was probaly never meant to take it in the first place. (See!! Give a gal a little sleep and all upon a sudden she's got a fine new attitude!) The Bee family is off to the wilds of the Eastern States this morning for a coupla weeks. God-speed and whatnot to them, hope all holiday happenings are FAB! Aight. I'm going to tkae my newfound joy and see if I can turn it into actual productivity... later ya'all!

Tired

I had three hours of sleep last night. Not because the babies decided to keep me awake but because my fabulous new place of workiness decided to throw one hell of a party! Thanks and kisses to all my peeps who showed. DB, you, as always are fetching, simply fetching. Mistah L-L and crew, you clean up well and are an inspiration to us all and Travelin' Man, high five on the HONEY you got hanging off your arm these days! Dammmmmnnnn!

Things I learned at the party:

1) If a cute girl is being nice to you do NOT suspiciously demand "What're you doing?!"

2) I work with some seriously, drop-dead, across the board, no two ways about it "P-H" in "PHINE" people!

Nicest compliment (I think) I got:

"Love the shoes! You're the only girl here who truly gets it!" [ed. note - I don't honestly know what "it" was but the girl talking to me was HOT so I just nodded and smiled...]

Now, however. I am tired. Exhausted really. but working on a proposal that was due yesterday so I guess I'm out. Kisses to everyone! Mwah! oxoxoxoxo!

Tag

So, I'm driving my kid to school this morning (we're in the truck so we're basically sitting right next to each other) and we're not really talking. I mean we're not NOT talking, we're just kind of being quiet when all-upon-a-sudden she reaches over and taps my hand. "you're it!" she announces scooting as far over as she can get toward the door and grabbing the handle. "Black things are base!" she elucidates further. "And no tagbacks!"

I love my kid. (And yes, I did manange to get her back. Just once though. There are a hell of a lot of black things in the cab of my truck!)

---

Last night I got to sign another Spark-related sheaf of papers thereby magically and officially turning my house from a "foster placement" into an "adoptive" one. Now, don't everybody go getting excited yet. I still have to formally apply and then wait for some judge to get back from their extended holiday vacation and see fit to stamping thier seal on a piece of paper that states for any and all interested parties that Miss Spark is unequivocably MINE! Nice to have made some more progress though...

Happy Birthday (BTW) my gorgeous, wonderful Green-Eyed Pal! Give yer moms a squeeze just cause she had the good sense to produce you!!

Excuse me while I go throw up...

Done. School is done. At least for now. Now all I have to do is meet with Spark's caseworker tomorrow to go over some adoption papers, go to Boo's Winter Sing, Go to the Family Builder's picnic, go to Paly Alto for a Spark G-ma gig, then off to Miss Tail's Chanaukka party.... And then, not unlike the sweet lord Jesus, on Sunday I will rest.

Whoo Hoo!

Sorry, I know I shouldn't be writing right now (must work on stuff! Lots of stuff to look into!!) BUT I am just so excited. My Big Bro just assured me that not only will my most favorite Baby-Niece (well, teen-age niece) be attending the big Magnet Family get-together out in the desert from whence we hail -- but that my OTHER most favorite practically grown-up niece (who, I spose should now be officially considered an adult now that she's about 7 months preggo with some Army boy's offspring) is going to be there as well!!!! Yay! Can I just really quickly demand "How very much fun are we all going to have this X-mas????? Loads, is what! Loads! K. Sorry. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.......

Too busy to blog...? Say it ain't so!

That's right folks: Finals at school, work kicking mine a**, baby "choosing" to stay awake ALL FREAKING night -- although she's only actually crying some of the time. She does this other thing where she just sort of sits up chatting with her toys which is A - DOR - RABLE -- And, as such, I've not had time to write. For the record, Thanksgiving (seems so long ago!) was GREAT! Good people, not un-good food... peaceful, relaxing. nice. Things in general are good. Crazy, stupid busy but good. My last class/paper/poster project is next week (Wed.) Can I JUST say I am sooooooo ready for school to be done...?! Nice though that my fabulous baby-watchers from this semester are going to be able to do next semester as well. Sometimes I just get so sillily lucky I'm almost embarrassed about it! K. That's it. Just wanted to let chall know I'm not dead. (Yet.) BTW, everybody go to the GV website and buy tickets to the Holiday Party. It's going to rock and I need my posse there!